TODAY, CONGRESS APPROVED the $300 billion Universal Support Enablement Law for Evaders of Suitable Skills, known as the USELESS bill.
USELESS supporters call the measure's passage a statement to people with no work skills, bad attitudes, poor personal hygiene, that they, too, are Americans. The program is open to "any individual who can -- but won't -- work, whether due to laziness, self-pity, or bad attitude."
USELESS participants will receive vouchers enabling them to purchase goods, products, and services they are simply not interested in acquiring by working. Program sponsors say fraud will be kept to a minimum because the lazy and indifferent lack the energy and creativity to cheat the system.
USELESS, which goes into effect on April 1, prevents landlords from requiring security deposits, mortgage lenders from seeking collateral, and employers from requiring employees to show up and perform as a condition of compensation. "We shouldn't create two classes of citizens -- those who are punctual and those who are not," said Gore. "Just because you come to work late, or don't show up at all, doesn't mean you can't contribute. What would have happened to the play 'Waiting for Godot' if Godot had showed up on time?"
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This news story is actually satirical fiction, but the question is, how believable did you find it, and if you did find it believable, what does that say about our current government?
Eh...it was kind of funny. I think humorous is the word. From the get-go in your post, I didn't find it believable at all. When it said 300 billion, and 'passed,' that was it for me. A bill like that could never pass...not even in suspended disbelief. It was alright, though, until it came to the quotes by Gore and Clinton. The diction was just so 'anti-work,' that it came out as false.
If it had an acronym other than "USELESS," then it might be believable for maybe until the second sentence...
I actually thought it was real until I read a bit further.
It's sad, but when I was reading your post, I DID think it was for real....and I was not surprised. I say it's sad because of that fact that it did not surprise me to think the US government would actually come up with a bill like that.
I would not put it pass our government to do that. Oh wait, we already have that in place. It is called welfare.
Not really that funny, considering how realistic that is (though they would never be so overt as to call it USELESS!).
it's hilarious.. cause it kinda nag on those who are to lazy to work.. and I like that.. If u don't work because u got 1000000000$$ I dont care, but if u dont work because you are to lazy, I'm sure feel like kicking ur ass, cause the money you get is sure needed somewhere else (unless u let ur wife do all the hard work and bringing in the money).
Oh yeah, this is totally true... in other words, it's called "welfare".
I'm all about helping out the man who can't work for legitimate reasons, but most of the people on welfare seem like the type of people who "can't work" because they have retarded issues that have completely nothing to do with getting off their butt to get up in the morning.
I am not an American, but still found it quite funny. Well after reading first paragraph I was thinking it was somekind of april fool joke which was being posted a little late & line that says it will launch on '1st April' confirmed my suspicion, but, it was not April Fool jok but I think it is somthing on the same lines.
Very funny! I could tell it wasn't for real though, nothing that obvious would pass.