Many of the recent threads have been circling around men and women's views to sex so I thought I would open a thread on "Self Pleasure"
PLEASE : lets keep this thread sensible and not litter it with the vernacular, we all know the words that can be used to describe it, we don't need to use them here.
OK, I am a 30 year old male in a loving, sexually active relationship with a women my own age. We live together and share the same bed every night, but I openly admit to the fact I still "self pleasure" from time to time.
My G.F is fine about it, often suggesting that I "go to the bathroom" when she isn't in the mood for anything (and my amorous advances are keeping her awake!) and when I travel (my jobs means I spend a lot of time away from home) I do as well.
Self pleasure though is still a very taboo subject (in my opinion), while I openly talk about it with my close friends, I understand that there are still many out there that find this very natural act something of an act to be ashamed of or abstained from
I am interested to know what others think of "self pleasure", and if they do it, do they openly admit to it?
I admit that I do it, and my GF is ok with it too, sometimes she just asks he she can watch wile i'm "self pleasure"..
I dont think it's taboo, atleast not in Sweden, alot of people talk about it, alot of talkshows on tv about it so it feels natural in sweden.
I find it relaxing, got a stressful job so..
OK, the fact your g.f is actually so ok about it that she wants to watch is something I will have to take my hat off to you to.... well done!!!
Yes, I agree that some countries are so relaxed about it that it is openly discussed.... I want to know about those that find it taboo as well tho
And yeah, I know what you mean about the stress "release"!!
As someone once said... "Whats the difference between "self pleasure" and an egg..."
"You can beat an egg!"
I have the question for the guy who said his gf watches. Do you do it the same when she watches as when you are by yourself?
I've never done it in front of anyone before, and I just imagine its going to look funny and nothing like in the movies. I'd be trying to flex the whole time and I imagine that would be distracting.
Nor have I.
I even cant imagine doing it.
I would be wondering what the other would think all the time and i would feel so stupid.
to those who picked "do it and admit to it: no"---
Self pleasure is a healthy habit until you get obsessive about it that it starts affecting your life. Otherwise no problem and there is nothing wrong.
make me feel goooooooooooooooood!
It's pretty acceptable for people to pleasure themselves here in the U.S. (at least from what I've observed in my home state). It's commonplace for males, and it's considered "hot" for females. I know that some religions are opposed to it, but for those people who don't follow those religions, I don't see the problem, as it does no harm to anyone. Besides, in certain situations I think it's much better for a person to pleasure himself/herself rather than bother someone who is just not in the mood for sex.
Depends. If it keeps you from having pre-marital sex, then by all means, do it. But you don't want to get "hooked on" self pleasure.
I live in a country where pre-marital sex is very common, pretty much everone have pre-marital sex.. but for those who live in a country where pre-marital sex is forbidden or for those who simply don't wanna have sex before they are married.. self pleasure is a very good option, keeps u satisfied and "ease the pain" abit .. however.. in sweden it's very common to self pleasuer urself.. even tho we can litteraly "****** around as much as we want to".. havn't hurt me this far atleast, so I'll guess I'll keep doing it whenever my girl isnt around for some fun.. (mood isnt a problem here )
Self pressure can have positive effects if one has optimistic pressure. In real life we see that a person is driven by pressures from his/her peers, relatives, friends, coworkers etc.
As someone has rightly said - You are born to rule the world, not to be ruled by the world. Finally it all depends on ones ATTITUDE.
I live in America, and that is like the epitome of a Pre-Marital Sexual example.
Yeah, like I said, if it keeps you from doing it, then it SHOULD be done. It eases pressure, like you said.
I just think it's kinda fun to hear that this self pleasuer, that actually is very healthy for you, exploring your body and some other stuff like a good feeling, orgasm and so on, can be strictly forbidden.. and it's rly hard for me to even imagine a life without it.. since I kinda grew up with it.. always been OK in sweden.. just as having pre-marital sex..
any1 mind telling me what the big "taboo" about self pleasure is in their countries? why it isn't ok to do it.. I understand the pre-marital sex part.. but not the "you aren't allowed to masturbate" part..
I don't really know a country that prohibets it just to prohibet it, if that is what youur getting at.
Which countries prohibit it at all? I can certainly see conservative Islamic governments prohibiting it, but does any Western country? Seems absurd. It'd be like banning pop music.
Which, in fact, many conservative Islamic governments do.
Old thread . well i think there is nothing wrong with it, it is natural, it becomes a problem when you look at it as a problem. I do it at regular basis, and it has not done any harm to me. Thumbs up
There is some evidence that masturbation in males helps prevent prostate cancer.
In the world of myths against masturbation, we have some light nice one.
Just close ur eyes if u r too ashamed abt it!!!
Actually wen i know that some1 is watching me and getting hot it gives me a boost
i do it and bf has watched me a few times. and i have watched him.
Self pleasuring can be bad if in a relationship but as I read in FHM can also be good.
Playing with yourself can relax you but at the same time can make you become static.Rather than going out and trying to find a girl( which I understand that it's not the case for you ) you stay indoors surfing on youporn.com...
Instead of self pleasuring yourself try to think of new ways of revigorating your sex life so that your gf is always in the mood
I have always been open about this and supported this as an avenue of 'release'.
I am a woman and I admit to it, have done it since I was a kid and I have even spoken to my son about it
That pretty good, but i dont understand how you told your son abt self pleasure, dint you feel shy. well about me, i have done and i admit. but i have stopped it now, coz i read in a magzine that it loosen muscle of male genitals, its ok with girls. i guess its not a healthy habit. and should be stopped at once and for all.
If you spend every spare hour masturbating then, yes, that might well be a problem, and you need to think seriously about why you are doing that. If the answer is that you are a young male, with those damned hormones kicking in and a fixation on your french teacher, then OK - you will 'grow out of it' eventually - just keep the magazines hidden from mum and don't think your dad hasn't guessed what you are up to
For the average person (male or female) who masturbates (say once a day on average) then there is no medical/health problems associated with that.
Actually, I remember watching a video at school about sexuality, where it was told how best to preform such actions for both genders. The movie was animated, not full of real persons, but anyway.
I think it's nice that there's a openness about this. Even though it's not too oral. At school teachers usually found it best to let us read about it, never really discussing the matter out loud.
I suppose people are a bit shy about it, but after all, they know it's just normal.
Well, if you believe every health-mattered news you find, then carrots are good for you only every second week. And no, I am not joking...
And anyway, people have been doing this as long as people have existed. It's has not killed anyone yet, not directly
Just voted and apparently i am the only one who does not self pleasure himself. Now im sure a 100 people are saying "thats bull" but its true. I never have and never will. It is part of my religious and moral beliefs not to. Well all of you are "busy" i usually meditate for 2h every night as a practise of self control and discipline. In all honesty my life doesn't suck because i never pleasure my self, in fact i am quite content with my life.
For anyone who feels like bashing what i just said send me a PM after you post so i can reply back. (i dont have time to check all these topics every day).
Thats what i do,
I dont see any problem with self pleasuring at all, most of the guys I know do it. Even myself on occasions. I do know some people though that have let it take over their lives, thats the point when it becomes bad. When you let it rule your life. Once a day (sometimes twice) is enough.
If it weren't for masturbation, I'd might have cheated on my wife a lot more times than I already have. I took up some meditation to help calm the urges. I'm what they call a hypersexual, a part of my bipolar disorder so I have to do it or find someone to do it with. Masturbation is safer.
Good or bad, it's clear that everyone's doing it.
Personnally, I don't see what's wrong in that, even if you're in a relationship. We would be kidding ourselves to say that married couples get all their sexual releases from their encounters together!!
And in my case, after nearly 2 years of complete, utter celibacy, if I didn't self pleasure from times to times, I'd have burst from need long ago!!!!!
no, we have a strangely open relationship and he knows he can come to me about any topic and I would be more than willing to listen and give advice if he needs it.
now that is something I can understand. 'self pleasuring' has been an avenue of release that has kept me from many physical encounters and I am certain kept me from a lotta trouble to!
I really don't agree about that loosening of the male genitals ! Masturbation was proven to bring numerous benefits, both mental and physical. There's no illness nor any dysfonctions associated with it. Don't stop after reading ONE article, broaden your sources. I've just looked up on the net, and found thousands of articles talking about the benifits of masturbation, and all the articles on the negative effects of masturbation were saying that there are none. Those reported are all myths created by people who are against such a practice.
The only dangerous thing is when people practice asphyxia while masturbating, then they endanger their lives.
Hope you will change your mind, because truly, it's healthy.
And perhaps I'm mistaken here, but a penis has no muscle right???? It's like a sponge! So how can it loosen up in the first place ?!?
according to my reading the penis is not a muscle tho it is muscle like.
It's tissue. The hardness is the arteries filling up with blood.
Nothing wrong with masturbation. We all do it, and there's a lot of benefits to doing so. For me, it lowers blood pressure, eases stress and physical pain, and even helps to sleep!
As for couple's, I've read some people like their partners to watch them pleasure themselves...
I don't think it is taboo, it is just impolite to openly talk about it, because it is typically the kind of things that are part of your very private sphere and there is no need to let others know about details that they don't want to know about, are uncomfortable with or are harmful to you as an individual. Times have changed and even women admit openly and cultivate the art of self-pleasure. I have to admit that because of religious views I do not revert to it often, but then again, here details are of no use in answering the question. I just want to add that from an oriental perspective of an individual having spen a big part of his life in Europe, I do understand the question differently.
I do belong to the second largest religion (probably soon the largest) in terms of individuals practicing it, and this religion doesn't make self-pleasure a crime. it recognizes it and if you do it it is not a bad action that'll lead you to hell. Every human is like his brothers and sisters and has some needs. In Europe however, because of historical reasons, the interdiction that has ruled for centuries the topic of sexual self-pleasure is stilll in the minds of people and some very hard views from the catholic church make this unallowed. I want to say that this question is simply a question of life's hygiene, and as long as it is not addictive, or leads you to sxual aggression acts on other persons, it is ok. In one word, my religion tells you, live and let live, do what you want with yourself as long as you don't hard your body, mind, or those of the others.
Jerk a glerk, Dont let your hairy paws clog up the key board
SO Ewank Party?
I live in the US and in Colorado, and amongst the people whom I am acquainted with it is acceptable. But for anyone "outside my circle of friends" they do not accept it and it is sometimes considered a vulgar thing especially by many religionists. It is considered taboo or "bad" in many religions, however in my religion it is completely acceptable (Satanism). So I honestly have no problem with it so long as my sexual partner(s) are aware of so doing. I'm not going to change my habits or whatever is my human instinct just for some fairytale belief that is ruining our society lol.
Totally comfortable with it.
And from a biological perspective a regular dose keeps mens stock balanced, youthful and healthy, and keeps women fresh and clean.
who are we to decide whether its good or bad
who has given us the authority to decide
its either u like doing it or you are not doing it
well i like self pleasure and been indulging in it since a long time
I work at an adult store, my Job is ALL about helping people find the
right tools for pleasuring themselves (and eachother) - So I WHOLE
HEARTEDLY support masturbation.
Personally I do it on an almost daily basis, I have a great
sex life with my b/f of 2 years, but I have an extremely high
labido. Also, I kind of see it 'casualy', like eating a
popsikle or reading a book.
As far as my b/f, he does it sometimes if I'm not home etc.
I baught him a 'male masturbatory device' (there is no polite
way to put it, sorry, it's a pocket poon) It's really cool, made
out of cyber skin so it's super soft and fleshy. When I braught
it home we threw an xxx movie on and he used it while I used
my toys. it was really cool.
yeah so that's probably way too much information
for most people, but once again, in my line of work
there is no taboo. no stigma.
Ofc I do it, even tho I have a gf, sometimes we don't see each other for a week with having the abillity to ****** or whatever, so I mean parents of her are home and shit .... you know what I meen
and yea so I do it somethimes and when I'm single ofc I still do it
Lets face it theres nothing wrong with it.
Everyone does it to be honest, Whether they admit it or not.
I mean i will admit simply that i do.
As most people reading this have atleast done it before, and probably still do.
There's nothing wrong with it,
It's kind of needed to be honest
Relaxs you and sometimes takes you mind off things
Hmmm, and should her thank your self pleasure for being "less" cheated....? It's a really bad argument in favor of self pleasure, you are cheating on her anyway.
I remembered having written quite an indepth reply to an anti-masturbation topic a little while back. Here it is in quote tags for anybody interested in the reading!
Masturbation has so many benefits, as many have been saying. No STDs, no pregnancies, no drama, no harm to others. Helps keep one psychologically in check as well as decreases risks for heart disease and cancer. For women it's a godsend, as it can be difficult in sex to reach orgasm without clitoris stimulation. I see it as spiritual in its own way.
There's nothing wrong with pre-marital sex! As long as you're using protection, then you aren't having babies or spreading disease. Just because you believe sex shouldn't happen until after marriage doesn't mean everyone has to agree with you (yes, I know you didn't say this...but the meaning is implied in what you said. Please correct me if I am wrong.)
If people make a responsible choice to have sex before marriage, then let them! If people want to masturbate, then let them! I enjoy masturbating, just like I enjoy having sex (though of course sex is preferred.) I don't choose to wait for marriage to have sex, and I don't choose to abstain from masturbating. Neither of these actions is irresponsible, nor do they do any harm to anyone at all!
I don't know if I've ever known anyone to be "hooked on" masturbation. It's not cocaine. It isn't physically addictive. People can be mentally addicted to anything (washing hands for example.) Should we tell them they should only wash their hands if it keeps them from masturbating? Who cares how much someone masturbates? Next thing you know, people will be claiming that masturbation is the "gateway action" to pre-marital sex. Lighten up!
[quote="bigdan"]Nothing wrong with masturbation. We all do it, and there's a lot of benefits to doing so. For me, it lowers blood pressure, eases stress and physical pain, and even helps to sleep!
As for couple's, I've read some people like their partners to watch them
it also helps me sleep when it is most needed as well as a hard day at work
Or just when i cant sleep
I don't really see what is wrong with it, the more men do it the more their sperm count actually goes up. So in that case, "self pleasuring" could actually help a little with fertility. I do it, but my girlfriend condones it. Kinda of sad really, I have to sneak around and do it if I feel the urge when she's not home.