FRIHOST FORUMS SEARCH FAQ TOS BLOGS COMPETITIONS
You are invited to Log in or Register a free Frihost Account!


Is she just friendly?





Drawingguy
As the topic says, is this girl just being friendly, or is she interested in a deeper way? There's this girl, and fundamentally she's an sociable, gregarious person. So I'm a little confused, because lately she's been taking more of an interest in me, but I'm not sure if it's just because of her friendly nature, or because of something else. I understand that an easy way to find out would be to just ask her out... I have no problems doing that most of the time. It's different, though, because if I do, and I find out that she wasn't interested in that way, then all of a sudden you have an awkward break, and the friendship ceases to exist.

So if you have any tips regarding whether a girl just wants to be friends or more, just tell them. It would be awesome. I already know the whole 'discussion of other boyfriends means she's not interested' deal, but there must be more.
greenwoodmonkey
Oh god, this is a dangerous one....

What I will say before I offer my thoughts on this one is read everyone opinion first, then forget them and go with your gut instincts.. if you think and feel there is something there... then go for it.. if there is a shred of doubt... leave it....

I have been in the same position as you a few times, and its true when people say once you have hit the friend zone there is no way back...... so try and not get there too soon, otherwise you will be trapped...

Why not try and get this girl on her own a few times, try finding out if there is a movie or band that she really wants to see and take her... try to make it look like its not a date when you ask, but if she accepts, treat it like one by being a gentlemen at all times, BUT don't try anything.. not even hand holding, cos if you screw it up at this early stage you will have a lot of ground to make up...
Azmo
I kinda agree with Greenwoodmonkey, try to do social things, dont have to be like a band or a movie.. anything.. go for a walk, take a cup of cofe or something.. and dont ask her "do you take a walk with me/grab a cup of cofe".. cause that soudns like you are asking for her company kinda serious, instead go like this "I'm gonna go grab a cup of cofe, wanna join me?" or something like that, so it souds like you was going to do it anyways, and just offer her a spot in your company.. that makes it to her decission, dont sound like you are hoping for anything and it's alot easier for you if she says no cause then she prob have a reason.

When conversating, always be nice, act like a gentleman all the time, dont give her this creepy uber cute comments about her clothes, looks or anything, just be nice and be interested in her, what she says and thinks.. let her talk, remember what she says, keep asking questions..

If she tells you "I wanna go to australia and dive" don't say "ok, cool, I wanna go to ......." cause then you show that you dont care.. instead say something like this "oh, cool, I would love to go to australia, any special places you wanna visit?" .. tada,,, u replyed, and asked her another question shows that you are interested in what she thinks and wants Smile

GL with everything m8!
Karupoiss
Dating is worse than nuclear science. Why do the most natural things in the world have to be the most difficult ones?
Da Rossa
There are many possibilities. But the simplest one would be asking her out, not exactly a movie, that would be too suggestive, but a cafe would be nice. Then you talk. A cafe is a good place to look in her eyes and figure out more expressions she's not willing to say in words. Or maybe she's just nice with you, not willing to start any relationship, BUT this will become your prerrogative: you can call the shots when you're two are face to face, then, she will have the option to do it or she will just miss the opportunity Sad
Drawingguy
To clarify, I'm not in the least bit unconfident about my ability to maintain a sensible, decent conversation. Azmo, you must have misunderstood me, so sorry about that.

So, you don't think that going alone with her to some place like a cafe would be too awkward and 'datelike'?
bonestorm74
Always a tricky one. I generally just asked them out. Let's face it, if the friendship is strong it will survive her turning you down. If it's not strong, there's no great loss anyway. That's how I looked at it.

Unfortunately I met a string of women who liked me as a person and who flirted with me but were only interested in getting attention from me. Sometimes I would not find this out for months, and ultimately left me with the feeling that I had wasted my time in pursuing them. So I would rather ask them out earlier. If the friendship falters, at least you can put it behind you and move on.
greenwoodmonkey
bonestorm74 wrote:
Always a tricky one. I generally just asked them out. Let's face it, if the friendship is strong it will survive her turning you down. If it's not strong, there's no great loss anyway. That's how I looked at it.

Unfortunately I met a string of women who liked me as a person and who flirted with me but were only interested in getting attention from me. Sometimes I would not find this out for months, and ultimately left me with the feeling that I had wasted my time in pursuing them. So I would rather ask them out earlier. If the friendship falters, at least you can put it behind you and move on.


Sad but very true.... I have also been in the situation where I have liked someone and found out months later they were firmly in the "friends zone".... and unfortunately when I tried to take it to the "friends with benefits zone" she thought I had been using the friendship to get what I wanted... which was only partly true....
Azmo
Drawingguy wrote:
To clarify, I'm not in the least bit unconfident about my ability to maintain a sensible, decent conversation. Azmo, you must have misunderstood me, so sorry about that.

So, you don't think that going alone with her to some place like a cafe would be too awkward and 'datelike'?


hm, w00t? now we have a missunderstanding here.. never said that you couldnt, I just gave u tips that you should ask her questions, and let her answer it, not talk that much about yourself.. but showing that you are interested in her thoughts, valutaions and opinions Smile

No offence given..

And no, I said that a cafe would be good.. and I said that a band/movie wouldnt.. reason, a band/movie will focus her eyes and ears away from you, gives u a smaller chance to comunicate..

And I also said.. don't ask her out, but ask her to join you.. can help get rid of that preasure you can feel when you have planed a "date"..
Da Rossa
Drawingguy wrote:
To clarify, I'm not in the least bit unconfident about my ability to maintain a sensible, decent conversation. Azmo, you must have misunderstood me, so sorry about that.

So, you don't think that going alone with her to some place like a cafe would be too awkward and 'datelike'?


awkward? Depends on HER, if she really finds it awkward then that's HER problem and perhaps you should waste your time with someone more interesting. Yes, it is datelike, but that's the intention: if it is meant to be a date, a date it will be. If not, why not having at least a snice and honest talk?
dude_xyx
well maybe try to have a casual talk with abt "love" and "boy friends" and stuff . if you can do it smoothly you will able to get an idea wuts she upto.
supjapscrapper
well, the first thing is that if she is really interested in you, she is probably thinking of it the same way she is probaby asking herself if would be too much of a risk to ask you out on a date.... if she's not, and that may well be then she's just being friendly, the only way to check this one out is to see if she keeps on being interested in you for a longer period of time or of she moves on to someone else. second you got to see if she does this with other people as well, I mean other guys. If she's only interested in hanging out with you for a longer time than that might be uit buddy. Oh and asking her close firends with much discretion, that means asking for secrecy, might help to know how she thinks. ANyway, if you fee it, just go for it and stop asking yourself questions.
frozenhead
Karupoiss wrote:
Dating is worse than nuclear science. Why do the most natural things in the world have to be the most difficult ones?


Yeah, I agree with you. Laughing , I guess that's how life is.

Well, just talk with her a little bit more (personal) stuffs and maybe you can find answers what's bothering you. Sometimes, girl are really hard to understand. Rolling Eyes
Bofia
take it slow and you might want to try to test her a little. Maybe ignore her for a bit and see if she comes to you or give her subtle hints
Sadow
In your situation I would go about this by feeding clues to her and see how she's responding or talking about a hypothetical situation and see her response.
Maybe this is a lame example, but you might get to discuss relationships with her. You could ask her that IF she would be in relationship with you, how would she react if you would look at other girls.
Okay, now listen up... the answer she will give you isn't that important, but her body language is at this point very important. Read her eyes, her movements and check out if she likes the idea of having a relationship with you. Does she smile? If she seriously answers the question by saying: "I would not like that at all and I would punish you by not letting you have sex with me for a whole week", well... if she says something like this. Razz
I hope this clarifies things. Let me know if it worked. Pay attention on situations where you would be able to feed her clues like this and watch her response. Another tip: don't be too serious about it, but don't make it sound like your joking, okay? To quote Jack Nicholson on his birthday today: "We're just goin fishing!" So, you just go fishing. Wink
poiko123
I agree with most of the sentiments already discussed. But, I always seem to invite her along to some casual event that my friends and I were going to anyways.
Karupoiss
I think you just have to make her know that you care about her more than just a friend. And if she backs off then just know that this is how the things are and there is nothing to do about it.
bongoman
Sadow wrote:
In your situation I would go about this by feeding clues to her and see how she's responding or talking about a hypothetical situation and see her response.


I agree with this approach, it may just be how they are or it may not be, the trick is to differentiate with body language. Look for subtle cues, she may just be too shy or is just waiting for you to make the first move. If you're interested in her, then show her you're interested and if she responds positively then go ahead and ask her out.
foxysc
Unfortunately there is no hard and fast rule as to how to deal with women no matter what the problem may be, i am one myself but i still don't understand a lot of them, thats why i get on better with men as friends...The main thing is getting to know her as much as possible, find out what makes her tick and what her views are on a subjects of the heart, its the best way forward....also i strongly agree with what the 1st person who replied to you said (sorry can't remember the name to put it here!)
Anyway i hope things work out one way or another for you and your friend x
tingkagol
the idea of winning a girl (however stupid they can be) sickens me. this is age-old idiotic conformance to society and the whole boy vs girl thing.


i say let them come. Twisted Evil
cybernie
Do it the predator way hehehe! Just go along with her and observe on what she's up to. You won't always get what you see. Or be straight and talk to her and ask her on what she wants...
Bluedoll
My advice.

Yep, confirmation. But how you get it matters. Its much better not to put her on the spot or you too for that matter. Take it slow, easy and comfortable. Be yourself. Why even call it a date?

Just suggest something or talk about how nice a place is (restrauant, movie whatever) or say that you have never been somewhere, might like to go there. Or just keep it simple and do what seems natural at the time like walking somewhere? If things don't go your way don't be afraid to show disappointment or make it sound like a final. There may be a next time.

The main thing is just to be honest not be afraid of rejection but always be understanding and you may just gain a friend. You ask if there something different, maybe there is, you just have to give it time (with her) to find out for sure.
Related topics
Pets
jokes
Warm young married woman :
A picture of my teacher...
Really funny christian Joke
I NEED ALL YOUR HELP
My list of musics
Mac-friendly web text editor?
Europeans and Americans, your thoughts on "Eurabia"
She is termed as one of the most beautiful in entire Europe
She's much better
Why do girls always do this?
Hi from Hong Kong !
What is she doing?
Reply to topic    Frihost Forum Index -> Lifestyle and News -> Relationships

FRIHOST HOME | FAQ | TOS | ABOUT US | CONTACT US | SITE MAP
© 2005-2011 Frihost, forums powered by phpBB.