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Should someone who is hiv neg marry someone who has Aids?





foxychic1
I am a thirty-something year old female, who has fallen in love with this man. I recently found out he has aids. We have never been intimate or anything. I want to know what others think about a hiv neg person marrying a hiv positive person. I really love this person. But my family thinks i am out of my mind.
badai
if you could practise safe sex and be careful with his body fluid for the rest of your life, I don't see any problem with it.

how long could you live without HIV anyway?
crdowner
You are the only person who can really answer this question. If you know and understand the risks and if you are willing to live with those risks then move forward.

Many people still over react with regards to HIV and AIDS because they do not know the facts. Educate yourself on how the HIV virus can be transmitted from person to person and then make your decision.
Azmo
as the others said, it's only you that can make that decision, just think of the risk of beeing infected, how long he will live with his aids? do you want to have children? stuff like that... if you realy love him, then go for it, but it will be a long and hard way from the start to the end, with body fluids, infection and stuff..

good luck!
Karupoiss
I think that it is very riski to sleep with someone who has aids. If his condom gets broken then you are ill also. You should go to the doctors and ask for a professional advise. People in this forum can give you an advice from the point of love but the doctors can tell you excatcly if there is a safe way to sleep with someone who has aids.
Azmo
Karupoiss wrote:
I think that it is very riski to sleep with someone who has aids. If his condom gets broken then you are ill also. You should go to the doctors and ask for a professional advise. People in this forum can give you an advice from the point of love but the doctors can tell you excatcly if there is a safe way to sleep with someone who has aids.


Agree..

And you can also have a relationship w/o sex.. nothing I recomend tho.. just a suggestion..
odinstag
foxychic1 wrote:
I am a thirty-something year old female, who has fallen in love with this man. I recently found out he has aids. We have never been intimate or anything. I want to know what others think about a hiv neg person marrying a hiv positive person. I really love this person. But my family thinks i am out of my mind.


Your family is right.

Unless you are some kind of perverted "Bug Chaser", there is no good reason. Love is a stupid reason to commit suicide.

You can find someone better that does not have a killer virus. Plus the only real ways to get AIDS these days are if you a a sick pervert. This person cannot be all that good of a person. You have to do something nasty to get AIDS or you have to be okay with people that do.
Subsonic Sound
Quote:
plus the only real ways to get AIDS these days are if you a a sick pervert. This person cannot be all that good of a person. You have to do something nasty to get AIDS or you have to be okay with people that do.


This kind of attitude leads to AIDS becoming so prevalent. It's just not true. What exactly are you thinking of when you say 'something nasty'? Heroin? Anal sex? First of all, you can catch AIDS through straight up, regular sex. Even protected, if you're unlucky. Condoms tear. There are also less common, but far more unlucky methods. There was a case recently around here of an infected nutter stabbing people with an infected needle in a nightclub.

And for that matter, are you saying that someone who HAS had anal sex is a fundamentally bad person, who you shouldn't consider marrying?

Threadstarter - if both people involved are fully aware of all the risks and consequences, go to it. Just be aware of what you're getting yourself into here.
odinstag
Subsonic Sound wrote:


And for that matter, are you saying that someone who HAS had anal sex is a fundamentally bad person, who you shouldn't consider marrying?


Yes, that is what I am saying.

Most cases of AIDS are caught because the person is a sick pervert. Or because a sick pervert failed to tell an innocent about the fact they are a sick pervert before they get involved.

My good attitude about sick perverts does nothing to advance AIDS infection rates. Sick perverts do that all alone without my attitude.

You just used a straw man. The rare cases you mention of oddball ways to get infected are not relevent.

The best way to not get infected is to stay the hell away from those sick perverts who are most likely to have AIDS. Meaning, if you know they have AIDS, stay away.

Love will not make it better or even make it OKAY.
greenwoodmonkey
[/quote]
You just used a straw man
[/quote]

Interesting use of the English Language, but seemingly without any actual understanding of the words used.... well done...

Is it meant to be a compliment (because using a straw is something you are as of yet unable to do with your cloven hoof like hands)?

Is it an insult that anyone outside your family (and therefor, I am guessing you uneducated hick, your world) cannot undertstand?

Is it that they "have just used a Straw man" as in a Scarecrow? Is that what you are still burning when you want to scare the nasty people away?

or is it that they have "just used Straw, Man"... as in

"Wow, Man. This Ritalin is strong.. but momma says I have to take it so that I stop stealing her underwear and licking the dog's balls"

I have been waiting a long time for someone like you to start using these forums... it's for people like you that marrying your siblings (that's Brother and Sister to you) is illegal (in most civilised countries), although I am guessing for your mum and dad thats too late.....

[/quote]
Most cases of AIDS are caught because the person is a sick pervert. Or because a sick pervert failed to tell an innocent about the fact they are a sick pervert before they get involved.
[/quote]

Really? Please can you substantiate your (wild, uneducated and) accusatory claims as to how people catch AIDS??? Maybe you can ask one of your cousins who has actually left the farm for a few days to teach you about what is actually happening in the real world...

[/quote]
My good attitude about sick perverts does nothing to advance AIDS infection rates. Sick perverts do that all alone without my attitude.
[/quote]

No, your right your (good) attitude does nothing. It never will. It's people with attitudes like yours that makes it harder for those living with AIDS and HIV to get the treatment and attention they need.

Maybe if you pick up a book every now and then (not one with pictures - a real one please)


"The rare cases you mention of oddball ways to get infected are not relevent. The best way to not get infected is to stay the hell away from those sick perverts who are most likely to have AIDS. Meaning, if you know they have AIDS, stay away."

Thank you for adding what you were meaning there, I was becoming confused by your spittle drenched ramblings, as I am guessing you were.

What are the oddball ways you mention? Are you talking about sex (outside of the family)? Blood Transfusions?

Well, I will leave it there for now, I am looking forward to your next posting to see what other "gems" you come up with.......




In answer to the initial poster.. I think if you are prepared to stand up in front of your family and say you love this person, you have done the hard part and should start enjoying your time together... BUT please; seek all medical advice you can and make sure you (both) keep safe.. sorry for using this serious forum for flaming the uneducated moron this was mainly directed at, but it was something I needed to do
Azmo
it's pervert to have anal sex? hm, makes alot of us a pervert then.. but ok.. anyways.. there are alot of ways to get aids/hiv.. and it's a minor that run around stabing people with an infected needle, many cases are just that 2 people are having sex, the person who is infected dont know about it yet.. and infect the other person.. let's say those two meet at a bar or something, have a one night stand.. never see eachother again.. maybe 10more are infected before they find out they got it..

or an accident, condom burst or something..

anyways, most people are nice people, and dont infect others just because it's fun

aids/hiv should be fought and we should work rly hard to heal people who have it.. save as many lives as possible, most people who die by aids are young or just children, what harm can they have ever done?
bongoman
I think you should think closely into what you're willing to do to maintain this relationship. To those who do not seem to know anything about HIV and AIDS. Imagine getting into an auto accident, needing a blood transfusion then finding out years later that blood you received was tainted with HIV. That happened to a good number of years ago in Canada back when the AIDS problem was only starting to surface in the 80's. Or how about the over four hundred Libyan kids who got infected through tainted vaccines? Those aren't just isolated innocents either, or surgery patients, hemophiliacs and third world children what you would consider "sick perverts"? Not everyone who gets HIV and AIDS sleeps around or is a junkie, or sleeps with men. Its an epidemic in many parts of the world among ordinary people, its also spread from mothers to children so why should they be cast under this net too? So get the facts straight.
greenwoodmonkey
bongoman wrote:
So get the facts straight.


Fully agree with all sentiments expressed.

Am still waiting for an interesting retort from our "educated" one..... maybe he is busy reading some "facts" to use to back up his statements
arwinva
First let me say that some of the posts here from a certain individual stating that, in a nut shell, people get HIV because they are perverts are wrong and offensive. Attitudes like that are the exact reason that people who have HIV endure the stigma and hostility they do. My husband who is HIV positive by the way is by no means a pervert and has never been with a man. You can catch HIV from regular boring sex, too. Second, we have been together going on 5 years and have four kids. Me and all my kids are negative. There is alot of research that has been done on the subject and all the findings point to the fact that HIV positive people who are nondetectable for six months or longer and take good care of themselves are NOT sexually contagious. Of course you have to see the doctor regularly and be sure you keep track of your numbers but, HIV is not Ebola. You can't get it from kissing, saliva, urine, fecal matter, sweat or tears unless they have blood in them. And third to anyone who is thinking of marrying an HIV positive person, as many others have said only you can make that decision and my suggestion is that instead of asking people on a website who probably know nothing on the subject, go do some foot work and research. Find out the facts and make your decision based on those and your own opinion. It is your life after all.
airh3ad
They said there is actually nothing to fear when dating a person with HIV. You will understand why when you know about the HIV virus and how it can and cannot be transmitted.Under normal circumstances, what goes on during a date cannot possibly cause you to be affected by the virus. By this, I mean that it is completely safe to hold the person's hands, sit and walk beside him/her, and even hug and embrace him/her. It is also completely safe for you to share food and drinks, and eating utensils and other things.
If both of you are at the stage of relationship whre you decide to be physically intimate, then being fully aware of safer sex practices will protect you from being infected by the HIV virus. One option is to refrain from penetrative sexual intercourse, and limit contacts to kissing, caressing, touching and mutual masturbation. However, if there is sexual penetration - whether oral, vaginal or anal, do protect yourself and minimize the likelihood of transmission of the HIV virus through the proper usage of condoms and lubricants. That includes checking for the expiry date of the condoms, proper handling and tearing of the packaging, as well as the correct method of wearing the condoms with an air reservoir at the tip. Generous and regular application of water-based lubricants will also reduce friction during sexual intercourse, thus minimizing the possibility of condom tear and breakage.
The bottom line is that when safer sex is practiced, there will be very little possibility of the HIV virus in the person's bodily fluids such as vaginal fluid, semen and blood to enter your system. if you love him/here accept the facts or i mean be ready for what happend next.
zacky
IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER HONEY..

IF YOU REALLY LOVE HIM THEN HELP HIM TO RECOVER FROM THAT AIDS...

THERE'S NO SHOULD BE BLOCKS FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIP IF DO YOU STILL BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE..

::::::Smile))))))
RubySlasher
You are out of you mind.

Think long and hard about if he's worth the sacrifices. You'll always regret something either way. It's your call in the end.













.
vatko
I am a HIV+ and my girlfriend just refuse to marry me because she is scared that she might get infected moreover her family also doesn't support her either. Now i am lonelier than ever, i felt like i will be lonely for the rest of my life. HIV+ person is no monster, they are the same person just not so lucky, dont discriminate them. you dont get infected that easily as long as you know how to treat the desease and how the disease can infect you. I suggest you get more counseling as much as possible and get much info about hiv and give your family an understanding.
LordbewithMe
Don't give up hope! God will provide!
TheGremlyn
It really is up to you to decide what is best. Talking to your doctor is a great start, even if you see him/her as a couple you can both learn and understand the risks. The best defence is to be educated and know the facts about HIV and AIDS.

I think that just because someone has HIV or AIDS is as human as anyone else. They still have emotions, dreams, ambitions. They probably have a tough life to live because they live it knowing that they will die sooner then they probably should have. AIDS is like cancer in a way. People can live years with Cancer and they can fight it with all they have. Sometimes they live a fairly healthy and productive life, and hopefully they beat it. But it has got the be the worst thing... to know that someone in your body is killing you... I feel for that and it makes me truly sad that these diseases are so damaging...

But many people here are right. Know the facts and don't back away from this because its scary or its part of the unknown. We need to work together and help everyone who faces this. We need to face it with them...

Those who have come to this topic and have spoken horrible, vile words show us that there are people out there who are scared. That is all it is. They are scared and they lash out with anger. That anger is damaging. That anger and that hate is the real disease here...
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