last night, my girlfriend asked me the same question again : "... sometimes i wonder how long the infatuation lasts..." it's the 3rd time she mentioned about it.. maybe she was just kidding, but everytime she says that, i feel quite upset and sorry to her, because i cannot give her confidence and let her feel secure that she can dream about how our future will be... i know i am a guy with uncertain future, still dont wanna have a stable job and pursuing my dream... and i like playing much, seems that every word from me is not true ( i feel that too... ). i think if i really love her and want to see our future, i should change.. however, she said that she loves the one i was when she first me and what i am now... no need to change... i just wanna make her feeling secure...
Firstly - you don't have to change the way you act - trust me playful is good
Secondly: I think your really the one feeling insecure - so she's testing you to see how much "power" she has over you - how much she "means" to you. (she may mean a lot to you, but its in your interest to have her completely unaware of that)
She's obviously testing you...so...don't worry...the "infatiuation" stuff is obviously complete bullshit..
Next time counter it with some cocky/funny remark like
"I usually dump girls when they are (insert her age in years + 1)"
|"As long as you work hard to please me, i'm sure you'll be ok" |
She'll laugh - and she'll like you more for being her equal...instead of begin her slave (lets face it, no girls stay with slave guys for longer than a couple of weeks )
I'm no expert...but everything sounds reasonable enough doesn't it?
Have you tried to really REALLY talk to her. Like sit her down look her in the eyes and ask her what she expects of you and make sure you too are telling her what you expect of her. You can do this day to day by sometimes disagreeing with her, or getting strongly behind something she does.
It's not hard to show a woman you love her and you want to be with her, but you need to concentrate on her and you need to do whatever you can to show her how you feel, in everything you do. No one's perfect, but we can but try!
Hmmm, I agree very much with what LukeakaDanish said. She loves you, and there is no questioning it. If you love her, then tell her so. Place emphasis on your relationship and don't worry about whether the infatuation will last.
I too believe that she is testing you. When she says something like that, respond by saying, "Don't say that~~...I love you and you love me and that is what matters. Even if, and I am highly doubtful that it will happen, our infatuation with eachother seems to fade just a little, I will work twice as hard to show you that I care and that I charish this relationship above all." You know, something like that...that is what I would say atleast. =P
I am just laying out my two cents. The female of the relationship is usually the smarter one, and in many instances, she will "test" how secure the foundations of the relationship is. In most cases, don't collow your gut, but instead follow the route that will prevent the yelling and beating of an angry estrogen driven girlfriend. After all, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. *nods*
|BHSDKP wrote: |
The female of the relationship is usually the smarter one, and in many instances, she will "test" how secure the foundations of the relationship is.
w00, crushing Anyways, you never mentioned how old you guys are, or backgrounds and stuff like that.. it is possible that she feels insecure because she had a realy bad relationship before you and he used her etc.. hope that's not true tho.
Otherwise I agree with the others, it sounds like a test, or "hey, give me atention" so it's prob no need to worry, just chill and try to talk things over with her, tell her what's realy in your heart, and do that when you have a calm moment just the two of you ( not in bed after sex ).
Best of luck!
How old are you guys? How long have you been together? More information is needed.
um... thank you all of you... i think i know what's happened.. i never think about it's a kind of test... it's not good to think my love in this way... seems that i am suspecting what she does, right ?
i do confess that sometimes i look like his slave more than a boyfriend.... but i do it myself, she does not require anything or ask me for anything. Maybe i should become more "firm" and do not look like a slave anymore...
we have been together for about 5 months.. i am elder than her by 6 years....
we are fine now... our relationship is "in a progress".. haha, my poor english, i don't know how to say... better say, i love her more and she loves me more too... she was sick last 2 weeks. i could only difficulty arrange a short period to meet her near her home ( i have a very important reason, better say, a secret behind that we cannot meet so often as other couples can do....otherwise, we both will be in a big trouble...) She cried on my shoulder for a moment and returned home silently... i thought she was in bad mood as she was sick... later i asked her, she said that she hated herself as she made me worried all the time... i wanna cry at that moment.... now she is sick again... god...