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Why won't people adopt?





lyddi8
The earth's human population is currently above 6 billion... for the life of me i can't understand why people want to have more than 2 biological children...
200 years ago, the Habsburgs and the royalty of the 18th century had 8+ children, purely because the mortality rate was so high that almost 60% of their children were dead before creating offspring, or died during the childbirth process...

In 2007, with life expectancy at a high & mortality rates at a low in Western Europe, North America and Australia, is it really unreasonable to suggest that if you want a large family, yet you want your own children, you can have both? Have your two children & adopt the rest. Our world, and that includes all of us, is reaching a population level that just can not be sustained. In undeveloped countries, they don't have the resources or the education, which, from a realistic point of view, has to change--but in developed countries, i see no reason in this day and age to be having 7,8,9 biological children with mutual parents. It's just selfish and gross.

"Unless we reduce the human population humanely through family planning, nature will do it for us through violence, epidemics or starvation." http://news.independent.co.uk/environment/article337005.ece

When will people wake up?! Hello?!

*** I know this may create some heated debate but... what do you think?
CrimsonStrange
Agreed, 100%

I suppose some of the reasoning for not adopting is that perspective parents generally want a miniature-version of themselves, to turn into the person that they always wanted to be, but never were.
They want to see themselves in their children, I guess.

Although, it does seem to be a trendy sort of thing for celebrities to adopt a child from another country.

I don't really know a great deal about the process/stipulations/cost of adoption, but I'd imagine it's very difficult & time-consuming.

Sadly, it's probably easier to have your own child, rather than give one a family who doesn't have one.
sky217
I think the reason people don't adopt is because it's a heck of a lot easier and more fun to just get pregnant. Sure, it's probably not much easier or cheaper in the long run, but it's a pretty natural human drive. Sex is just way to free and easy.
mel_t
I think it's a basic human desire to procreate. Having children of your own is naturally going to be preferable over adopting for most people, I think. I think a lot of that is just evolutionary. For instance, if you look at lions - when a new male takes over a pride, he will kill all the offspring of the former pride-leader so that the females will go into estrus and he can produce offspring of his own.

Aside from that, on a more practical level, the process involved in adoption is usually quite lengthy and involves social worker visits, home studies, often long waiting periods, and in the case of private or international adoption, lots of money. In addition to that, you often don't know much about the background of the child, health of the parents, whether the mother drank or did drugs during pregnancy, etc, or in the case of international adoptions, the children are often neglected in orphanages and come with a whole host of emotional problems due to the lack of human interaction as an infant. There are just so many unknowns when it comes to adoption.
paul_indo
I don't know the current data, but 10 to 20 years ago it was so difficult to adopt that many who would have liked to do it never got the opportunity.

Screening of prospective parents and all sorts of red tape often got in the way, and I'm sure still does.
starfish2007
I can not think tomany cases were peoplehave thatmany children in my hole family there is no one thathasmore 3 and evenof all people i know know no familyhasmore then 2 or 3 sowere are all thes people with 7 + comming from
lyddi8
starfish2007 wrote:
I can not think tomany cases were peoplehave thatmany children in my hole family there is no one thathasmore 3 and evenof all people i know know no familyhasmore then 2 or 3 sowere are all thes people with 7 + comming from


I know of a family that has 9 biological children with the same parents... i was just wondering if anyone could give me some insight as to why? It's obviously something that would be a bit rude to ask to them... i agree that ppl want biological children- that's never going to change- but if you want a super large family, why can't people even consider adopting in addition to having their own children?
GSIS
sky217 wrote:
Sex is just way to free and easy.


I wish ... Laughing

Seriously, though, self-replication is a basic animal instinct that - as far as humans are concerned - will have to be controlled in the long-run. It's not going to be easy, though.

It takes a very special person to adopt someone else's child.
tommypanda
to be honest i think that the population issue does need to be adressed but i also hope to have more than 2 children regardless of the mortalility rate. And i also know that i won't feel comfortable adopting a child or children I can't really explain why but I just wouldn't although i do think this could a solution to the population problem its not that reliable as many people won't adpot. the rest of the world could a) stop migrating b) adopt a porcess like china's (only 1 child per family) although i know in britain which is not a dictatorship and in other demorcratic countries this will not make the voters happy. solve that Sad
lyddi8
This whole issue is absolute BS unless people get rid of their individualistic inertia and start thinking of the world as a whole.
Rather than send food and supplies to undeveloped countries, get them educated!!!
Many of the children born in areas such as africa, india and pakistan are born because women have no rights, and have no access to education or birth control.
At least the chinese government was smart enough to realise that their population would be unsustainable if the population continued to explode-- therefore the one child per family rule.
If only (i wish) places such as Bangladesh could realise this, most of their environmental, social and economic problems would be solved.
In terms of adoption, in the short term, western society can allow children without a future to have a future. They've already been born-- they're a part of life.
Why the f**k does western society continue to allow what can only be considered as child abuse, brought on by the inability for women to decide if, when, and how many children they want?
paul_indo
In many poor parts of the world children are seen as a retirement fund by the parents. Many children means many people to look after you and provide income in your old age.

Indonesia is like this in most rural areas and to some extent in the cities also.
Bondings
I don't believe all the theories that say that the earth isn't able to sustain more people. It's like saying that computers are not able to get any faster. Of course there is some limit, but it isn't going to be reached soon.

With our current technology and free land available to agriculture, we could easily produce several times more food than we currently do. We aren't doing that due to economical reasons - because a lot of people don't have enough money to buy it.

Poverty is the cause and not population. And an increasing population doesn't necessarily create poverty, rather the opposite in a lot of cases.

In my opinion, government birth control by forced abortions and even murdered newborns like China used to do, is a breach of human rights. Besides, they are now having problems due to that system as they lack young people, especially girls.
ctrlTR
No need to think more, this is just destiny that we are common in all together.Unfartunately,Doomsday is approaching day by day,The end of the World is closely depend on population explosion.The world had 2 people at the beginnig of it and now it has over 6 billion people Shocked

Have you ever thought ? What is the human capacity of the World ? and when the Global Warming added to this excess of population,Why do we need to limit the population ?

I think that we should be willing to our destiny,but we must do everything to keep the World without limiting the population.Because anybody who will born at future might create a big saviour solution to make longer the life of the World,Coming generations definitely will be so clever more than us.We cannot change their fate and so the fate of the World.
Soulfire
It's been said before, but the adoption process is tedious and drawn out. It's much easier to have your own biological children.

Also, I'm assuming that many people would rather have their own biological children than an adoptive children because of many reasons (i.e. easier to love, etc.)

It's all very relative.
LumberJack
Soulfire wrote:
It's been said before, but the adoption process is tedious and drawn out. It's much easier to have your own biological children.

Also, I'm assuming that many people would rather have their own biological children than an adoptive children because of many reasons (i.e. easier to love, etc.)

It's all very relative.


I want kids, that simple. I am far too good looking and smart not to procreate. It would be a dis-service to humanity if I didn't Wink
ctrlTR
We celebrate festival that is devoted to all world children every year in 23rd April in Turkey thanks to Mustafa Kemal Ataturk.Ataturk had been conscious of important of children, Because He had decided to change somethings for our nation when he was just a child.So he had known that what a child can make somethings to change fate of a nation.And also we have to be aware of the children about that what they can make for future.
tijn01
The thing I am most chocked about is that I always believed and was told growing up that the world in overcrowded. Now I see on the news that countries like Russia, Canada, France and Australia are encouraging people to have more and more children to increase there populations.... Why don't we just share the space we have. Why don't we share the resources we have? Why don't we share everything with everyone and all have the same standard of living.
I agree about the adoption, I am considering having one biological child, mainly because my partner wants that, but after that I will adopt or foster children that are already here.
timtotango
http://timtotango.blogspot.com
wise
I am totally for what you said. In Mauritius it is quite rare to find families with more 7-8 children. There should be some kind of birth control or the father is uncontrollable. He just wants to make children, maybe he wants to create a football team, or something like this. Maybe he is taking the chance that when he will be too old to make more, one of his children will take care of him.
scrub
There's been a lot of good analysis of population issues over at anthropik.com including this article, "Human Population is a Function of Food Supply":

http://anthropik.com/2005/07/thesis-4-human-population-is-a-function-of-food-supply/

So long as food is available, the population will expand to meet the food supply. It's a basic law of nature, to which all animals are subject, including ourselves. And it doesn't matter if half the people decide to voluntarily limit their reproduction, because that just leaves food for the other half of the population to crank out extra babies. In a culture based on exponential growth of food and resources, population growth will also be exponential.

This is a great example of why our civilization is going to crash and burn pretty soon...

Scrub
QrafTee
Doesn't the adoption process take money and usually several years? It's like voting, if you make it harder for people to do it they generally won't do it.
Flakky
I am too young so I do not know but mostly the female wants children because it is in their instinct, and while the children are safe, they 'make' more just out of instinct. If people should really think they should go for 2/3 children. If every person marries one time and gets two children, and those get married and get two children, the population will not rise but some people can not get babies because of health problems and not every child marries and that is why the average babies per couple should be 2.5 but there are some other influences like cheating and that is why population is uncontrolable. The only way is the way the people in China did against population growth and that was to higher the tax if you had too many children.
missdixy
I've always wanted to adopt children (as well as have maybe one or two of my own), and I don't care so much about age. But so many people are hesitant in adopting an older child and only want to adopt newborn babies or toddlers. This is also a major problem.
ryanh2006
I think adopting is a great alternative for couples who can not conceive. It is cheaper and is much less evasive and stressful than IVF treatment and it helps children in need. I think its crazy that some people think that parents can't love an adopted child as if he was their own. Its both sad and wrong. However, I fully understand why people also want to procreate both due to religious reasons but also for emotional reasons. I assume that pregnancy is a wonderful time for a couple that helps them bond even more and allows them to appreciate each other even more. In my humble opinion, I think that both methods are right and its wrong for some people to shun people who adopt one method or another (pun not intended)
{name here}
Adopting probably isn't that popular simply because people want to have a child that has their blood, rather than one that is foreign to them.
goniagara
As a father of 2 adopted children, I can add some perspective here.

When we got married, we both knew that we wanted kids. It is the norm to have biological children and at this point we never even thought of adoption. It turns out that we couldn't have our own children, so we started to consider options. We considered IV fetilization, but decided not to as that would be an emotional roller coaster, so we decided to adopt. We have 2 kids and I love them more than anything. Adoption wasn't our choice, but if I could go back in time and have biological kids instead I wouldn't. Fate determined that we would adopt, but now I wouldn't change it for anything. These are our kids and I love them very much. Biology is one aspect to kids, but it's not important to us. There is no doubt that these are our kids and the imprint that we leave on them. I call my son "Mini-Me".

In the US, there are alot of parents willing to adopt, but few kids are given up for adoption. There are some older kids or special needs kids, but people aren't as willing to adopt them. Most people starting a family want to adopt infants. There are families with kids who adopt older kids or special needs kids. These kids need homes too, but the reality is that it is difficult. Generally older kids come from broken homes and have a difficult time adjusting. I grew up with a special needs younger brother, and it is very difficult as well. Since few infants are given up for adoption in the US, you generally have to be in the right place at the right time to be able to adopt one. You can wait for years and still not get a child.

Another reason we did not pursue domestic adoption is that the parents had up to a year to change their mind. That would be heartbreaking. Therefore we decided to adopt internationally.

International adoption is expensive and difficult. There are agencies to help and ours was one of the best. We had two flawlwess adoptions. The US government does help defray about 1/3 of the cost which is a big help. The length and complexity of the adoption process depends on the laws of the country that you are adopting from. I know China is a more complex and longer process. Also, the laws are always changing, so it is a fluid process.

In the US, international adoption is becoming very popular. We know many families that have done it. Both my kids have neighborhood/school friends who have been adopted, even from the same country. We're very proud of our kids and are very open about it, to them as well as anyone else we meet. My son is of similiar ethnicity, so it's not obvious ... but my daughter is of different ethnicity, so it's obvious that she is adopted. We love to tell our kids story and hope that we can help encourage others to adopt.

Alot of the resistance to adoption is cultural. In the US, I remember as a child, there was stigma about adoption, but that has changed now. It's increasingly common and is now very open. I know in Russia, there is still alot of stigma around adoption. In India, adoption is not common, therefore people I know in India couldn't understand as well why we adopted.

I do know that if adoption was made cheaper and easier, alot more people would do it.

Hope this helps answer some questions. Feel free to ask any others.
deanhills
Quote:
Why won't people adopt


Probably because it is natural to want your own children. Sort of a spontaneous thing. You meet someone, you fall in love, you want to start a family, and have babies of your own.

People are naturally born selfish human beings, and probably nothing wrong with it as this is the way we have been designed.

Problems start when we are unable to have babies, or do not get married, or other substantial reasons, and then we think about adoption. There are also people who are genuinely caring and would like to help children who have no parents.

Some people may not adopt as it must sometimes be quite frightening as you read and see reports of adopted children that did not adapt well. It is sad that those stories usually are more reported on than the ones that did work out well.

It is a pity that the US, or any other countries for that matter should make it so difficult for its citizens to adopt children, yet easier to adopt children internationally. Especially when there are babies in their country who are badly in need of good parents. I can understand that there are all kinds of abuses going on that create all kinds of rules and regulations, however it is a pity that the system sometimes seems to be designed to trip itself up rather than serve people better. Like importing puppies from another country, whereas there are perfect pedigree ones in one's own country.
sondosia
Because conceiving a baby, being pregnant, and giving birth is one of the most emotional, memorable, HUMAN experiences there are. I don't see what the question here is. You might as well ask why everyone doesn't donate their bodies to science or donate all their organs when they die, or why people don't just get cremated instead of buried to conserve space. Or why we don't euthanize the elderly to save on precious resources.

Life isn't all about what's practical and best for the world as a whole.

Furthermore, I've never adopted so I don't know this for sure, but I really doubt I could ever love someone else's baby. I could LIKE him/her, take good care of them, but not love. That's biological and psychological. Humans (and all animals) are meant to devote themselves to their own families to ensure survival.
deanhills
sondosia wrote:
but not love. That's biological and psychological. Humans (and all animals) are meant to devote themselves to their own families to ensure survival.


I could understand where you were coming from with your posting until I got to this part and I have to differ here. You can love babies that are not your own. For example, I am sure you must have special feelings for your friends' babies? I believe people who adopt may even be able to love their babies more than they would have if they had been their own babies. Having your own baby is also not a guarantee of loving the baby. Obviously the majority of mothers would, as that is dictated by nature, but some mothers may be at odds with the particular chemistry of the baby, or a drug addict, alcoholic or psychologically not with it. So if normal loving couples who cannot conceive adopt babies, there is a good chance that they may love the babies even more than someone who gave birth to their baby. The world can do with that kind of love any day.
icecool
lyddi8 wrote:
This whole issue is absolute BS unless people get rid of their individualistic inertia and start thinking of the world as a whole.
Rather than send food and supplies to undeveloped countries, get them educated!!!
Many of the children born in areas such as africa, india and pakistan are born because women have no rights, and have no access to education or birth control.
At least the chinese government was smart enough to realise that their population would be unsustainable if the population continued to explode-- therefore the one child per family rule.
If only (i wish) places such as Bangladesh could realise this, most of their environmental, social and economic problems would be solved.
In terms of adoption, in the short term, western society can allow children without a future to have a future. They've already been born-- they're a part of life.
Why the f**k does western society continue to allow what can only be considered as child abuse, brought on by the inability for women to decide if, when, and how many children they want?


in most developing countries the matter of adoption as known in the developed world doesnt come up due to the extended family system. i have many friends who care for relatives children like their own.

yes i agree that that lack of awareness and education and cultural barriers are the main stumbling block of achieving effective birth control in the developing world like here in the gambia. a better education would automatically bring better awareness and also a better chance of improving economic conditions - but i havent seen a big charitable effort yet saying "teach the world" - "feed the world" is a more sexy image to sell.

it is part of modern societies disintegration of family values and also a lack of awareness and RESPONISBILITY tht has created the orphan and adoption problem. look at the fanatics who shout that birth control of ANY kind is murder - and then expect society as a whole to deal with the problem of kids which are first unwanted and then not cared for.

it is a matter of PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY to care for oneself and others alike - the argument of "instinct of procreation" and comparing us to animals went out the window as soon as we came out of the trees and picked up the firts thing to kill the next guy. we can THINK and PLAN - and over 6 billion is plenty enuf thank you.

cheers
deanhills
icecool wrote:
in most developing countries the matter of adoption as known in the developed world doesnt come up due to the extended family system. i have many friends who care for relatives children like their own.

Good point icecool. I know in many African countries that is the case. The brother of someone deceased would just automatically take his wife and children in. They don't even think about it. Westerners with their much more individualistic and perhaps selfish way of living needs to think this through, then go through all the legal hoops to get formal approval. Quite expensive in the long run as well as there is always a lawyer necessary with expensive advice and paperwork and Government officials negotiations, scrutiny and approval. Totally crazy that it should be easier to adopt internationally than nationally.
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