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Losing the girl who I thoug hwas the one





helladamnleet
Let me start this off by giving her name and a little history:
Amber and I met about a year ago at a party, and eventually we ended up being in the same class together. We eventually started hanging out, and really clicked well.

Now we had a talk about a week ago and decided we really cared about each other, and would start going out eventually.

Well we started getting closer, and now just when things were getting good, she gets busted drinking, and gets a ticket for possession of paraphenelia[sp?].. .. ..

So her mom is making her move to Arizona to live with her dad, and I'm probably never going to see her again.

How should I handle this situation?
rheanna
*Dump her.. You don't need ruin your life over drugs. She needs to get clean first. Be lucky that it wasn't in your car.

Example.. She took your car to the store. Makes a buy or sell on the Parphilnia.. Guess what *car gets impounded and goes on auction* .. Why? Even thou it's yours. It was busted in the commission of a crime.

Just be glad you weren't there because most drugs users wouldn't hesitate to take you down with them when they get busted.

Other fish in the sea.. You'll find another girl...
varon
I hate to be callous, but how long have you known her -- a year, you say, or was it only a year ago that you knew her? it sounds to me that you really don't have a solid foundation for a relationship -- having a good time and clicking well together don't sound like you've been together for a long time, and I have to agree with Rheanna: I'm sure it hurts like hell now, but one day, you'll be grateful for this separation, when you find the one person who's really meant for you. being busted for drugs isn't cool, man. there are better women out there. wish you luck.

of course, if you feel that you really love her and you can't love anyone else, look at the bright side, maybe this separation is temporary, and if you're meant to be together, love will find a way to bring you back together. Smile in the meantime, I think the situation is out of your hands -- just let it flow. be well.
evilryu530
happens all the time man, u think shes the oen and she's gone. doesnt mean she wasnt the one, just means that it didnt work out so pick up your shoes and u'll find a better lady!
helladamnleet
I didn't say we just have a good time, I said we hang out, just the two of us, and enjoy each other's company without getting messed up or anything.
varon
helladamnleet wrote:
I didn't say we just have a good time, I said we hang out, just the two of us, and enjoy each other's company without getting messed up or anything.


Yes, well -- okay. I guess I misunderstood you. My apologies. I didn't mean to sound like you had a good time as in partying all night and just going to the mall and thus, no real relationship. I suppose my idea of "having a good time" together IS pretty much hanging out and enjoying each other's company without messing up your time together. Well, that said, I'm really sorry, but that STILL sounds too much of a casual thing for me. Smile And maybe a little too young and thus, too idealistic. Not to say your relationship is baseless, but it just doesn't quite have as firm a foundation as what I had in mind. I've learned over the years that real love isn't about the good times, it's about going through the really rough times AND still being able to forgive, to say that the other person loves you and you love in return no matter how many times they offended you -- things like that, a real, lasting commitment, a true experience of a good, years-long friendship, the gut feel that you will never say goodbye. These are, so far, what my marriage is teaching me. (And yes, I am a little older.) If you can say all those things are what you feel or have experienced with this girl, then my heart goes out to you. And I'll be praying for you to be able to go through this.
Mordane
I'm not going to defend drug use in anyway shape or form.

But it is horrible when two people like each other so much and can't be together. Perhaps it just wasnt meant to be, by the sounds of it your still young and have your whole life ahead of you.

Besides, the whole concept of "the one" is a myth, you will love again! life goes on.
scorpiosemotion
Mordane wrote:
I'm not going to defend drug use in anyway shape or form.

But it is horrible when two people like each other so much and can't be together. Perhaps it just wasnt meant to be, by the sounds of it your still young and have your whole life ahead of you.

Besides, the whole concept of "the one" is a myth, you will love again! life goes on.



Mordane, I am in complete aggreeance, there will be more loves and each one different than the last.
Quote:
May you love like your heart has never been broken.
as to who said that... I really have no idea, but it's been said before and will be said again. Good Luck! Cool
imera
If you two are meant for eachother you will end up together in the end, and if you two really care for eachother. I like this guy that lives in africa, and I live in europe, we are sure that we will end upt together, and nothing can split us, as I know about.
So if you two really like eachother, youwill end up together, if not maybe she wasn't the one for you. And you may find someone who you will be bether of with.
helladamnleet
Thanks for all your advice everyone, I haven't been around lately because I'm trying to switch ISPs, and it's been really nice out so I haven't had time to worry to much about internet time.
vervaeke
Follow her. There's good drugs there and you could live in an alley nearby.
agustin
Do what you think you have to do! I cant help you too much! Im sorry!! What let me tell you that if you really love her... just do whatever you have to do to be with her!!! just do it!
sanwixh
vervaeke wrote:
Follow her. There's good drugs there and you could live in an alley nearby.


I'm sorry but what kind of an advice is this?!?! Are you a junky?

That said, let her sort out what she's done, and maybe she'll straighten up on her issue. About her being the one, like "varon" said if you could actually say and do all those things then by all means go to her be there for her, but if its just the sprouting love feel then think about it carefully before making and decisions, you need to be logical. I know it hurts to lose someone you think is the one. but there will come someone better if your not with the best right now, god knows what He's doing and just trust in His judgement. and when that person comes into your life all you can do is hope that she really is the "ONE" and do everything to give her a reason to stay.
CCovers
Sorry your in such turmoil.
There is no easy answer since i don't know all of the info. but basically as the cliche goes follow your heart.

Glow
bonestorm74
Sounds like she probably needs to get herself sorted out first before anything can happen with you. I'd let her go for now.
Azmo
wounds heal.. it's the same thing as when you end a relationship for another reason, you will be realy sad first.. bit it will heal.. in the same class u said? you are not old, you have your whole life ahead of you. I know it sucks losing someone you realy care about, but hang in there, don't go after her.. it will ruin your life, and for what? A few months of happines with her and then it ends? U droped out of school, she's using drugs or selling them. Be smart now, do the right thing and do not follow no matter how much it hurts.
varon
sanwixh wrote:
vervaeke wrote:
Follow her. There's good drugs there and you could live in an alley nearby.


I'm sorry but what kind of an advice is this?!?! Are you a junky?


That was meant to be a sarcastic advice, I think. Wink


Anyways, thanks for agreeing on my comments. Smile
Bofia
There are lots of girls that you think will be "the one" but actually once you get over it and get your next gf, she might seem like the one as well
sanwixh
varon wrote:
sanwixh wrote:
vervaeke wrote:
Follow her. There's good drugs there and you could live in an alley nearby.


I'm sorry but what kind of an advice is this?!?! Are you a junky?


That was meant to be a sarcastic advice, I think. Wink


Anyways, thanks for agreeing on my comments. Smile


To say it in a time that's not needed is simply annoying
Tvis
I'm not so font about people getting into those things. Most of the time they get worse. And the fact that she is moving. It's like a sign from God, that you need to forget about her. Trust me, there will be plenty of other girls more worth it. And besides, you will forget eventually. A long distance relationship is really hard to maintain. And If you ask me, sooner or later she will involve you, maybe use you. She will going to have to get money, and ask you to help her. You don't want to get involved in that. It's not worth it. That's just my opinion.
c'tair
I learned some important advice a few days ago: there are many more fish in the sea. Its better to meet more girls and find the one that way than to search for her while not having any girlfriend. Forget about her, find another.
Well, that was totally unromantic, but my life view changed like that a couple of days ago, to the point where I see girls as good and bad, the good are to be tested, as in get to know better and even date, the bad... well just leave the bad to where they are.
And if she was a druggie and you were not, leave her, unless you get into drugs you wont understand her, and getting in or out of them is damn risky. Besides, sounds like she doesnt really care, getting caught and all that, Id lay off the drugs if I were her, getting to know a great guy and all. The real me would even lay off the booze, but hey, thats just me, my view on these things. Cheers dude.
molif
c'tair wrote:
there are many more fish in the sea.


haha... true.. get ur fishing rod and get one with it.. make sure u fish on clear clean waters.. if u know what i mean..
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