Cheaper being single and all the money is yours to keep.. You get married they take it all.. Best advice I can give you... 
Don't ever get Married
Hmmm, a very shallow summing-up of marriage, taken from your own experience?
Not all marriages need be that way.
There are many great advantages to being married (in no order, some serious some not so):
1) Companionship
2) More meaningful sex
3) No loneliness
4) Always a shoulder to cry on
5) Always someone on your side
6) A true sense of sharing
7) Never a cold bed
8 ) Someone to do some of the jobs you hate
9) Having a true friend uniquely in possession of all the facts
10) Someone to care for
11) Someone to care for you
12) Someone to spoil
13) Someone to spoil you
14) I am financially better off now I am married and so is my wife
15) The kids have a less stressful upbringing with two (happy) parents
16) Valentines day is never a nightmare
17) The ultimate commitment, sharing yourself completely
18 ) No more selfishness
19) A nice gold ring I didn’t pay for
20) Some nice pictures of the wedding
Not all marriages need be that way.
There are many great advantages to being married (in no order, some serious some not so):
1) Companionship
2) More meaningful sex
3) No loneliness
4) Always a shoulder to cry on
5) Always someone on your side
6) A true sense of sharing
7) Never a cold bed
8 ) Someone to do some of the jobs you hate
9) Having a true friend uniquely in possession of all the facts
10) Someone to care for
11) Someone to care for you
12) Someone to spoil
13) Someone to spoil you
14) I am financially better off now I am married and so is my wife
15) The kids have a less stressful upbringing with two (happy) parents
16) Valentines day is never a nightmare
17) The ultimate commitment, sharing yourself completely
18 ) No more selfishness
19) A nice gold ring I didn’t pay for
20) Some nice pictures of the wedding
| Captain Fertile wrote: |
| Hmmm, a very shallow summing-up of marriage, taken from your own experience?
Not all marriages need be that way. There are many great advantages to being married (in no order, some serious some not so): 1) Companionship [Sugar daddy time] 2) More meaningful sex [use him an lose him, don't forget his wallet] 3) No loneliness [no kids, no man..the house is clean, all the time, you got the computer..whose lonely] ;o) 4) Always a shoulder to cry on [Be a man not a wimp] 5) Always someone on your side [My dad..Don't need anyone else] 6) A true sense of sharing [I share online ;o)] 7) Never a cold bed [that's why you have stuffed animals or pets] ha ha 8 ) Someone to do some of the jobs you hate [I make kids mow the lawn..job done ] 9) Having a true friend uniquely in possession of all the facts[that would be F buddy] 10) Someone to care for [why, I have my cat] 11) Someone to care for you [F buddy] 12) Someone to spoil [S Daddy's job] 13) Someone to spoil you[S daddy's job] 14) I am financially better off now I am married and so is my wife [he took the bank account and costed me more to get the divorce then it costed me to get married in the first place] lol 15) The kids have a less stressful upbringing with two (happy) parents [no kids/no worries] 16) Valentines day is never a nightmare [sooo overrated] 17) The ultimate commitment, sharing yourself completely[living in a dream world] 18 ) No more selfishness [ not selfish if you give back] 19) A nice gold ring I didn’t pay for [what? you made the wife pay for that?...typical] 20) Some nice pictures of the wedding [ I burned them all/ I forgot what he looks like] |
too mushy for me.......
| rheanna wrote: |
| too mushy for me....... |
As far as the gold ring bit, I think the Captain was talking about the ring that his wife gave him... not the ring he gave her.
I think better advice would be to consider carefully the relationship you currently have, and how/why that relationship could/would change through marriage and determine whether or not your partner is trustworthy and willing to commit to a healthy marriage (like the marriage that Fertile is talking about), rather than just a blanket "Don't ever get married".
LoL, I couldn't even get financial aid for schooling because I was married. Now that I'm single (going to stay that way)... I'm going to re-apply for it. Was married for 13 years. Rather stay single.
I doubt many here have a history of marriage as bad as mine. I'm on my third now. 
The first 2 were hideous. I can't even begin to tell you the pain and suffering involved. Do I still hate the first wife(yeah, wife)? Hell, yes. Do I regret the marriages? Sometimes. Am I glad I tried again. Ohhhhh yeah!
Yeah, sometimes marriages suck, but, when you get it right, there is nothing to compare.
Of course, this is just from my life and I am not trying to change your mind. Plenty of room for all sorts in this world.
I hope you remain happy, Rheanna.
The first 2 were hideous. I can't even begin to tell you the pain and suffering involved. Do I still hate the first wife(yeah, wife)? Hell, yes. Do I regret the marriages? Sometimes. Am I glad I tried again. Ohhhhh yeah!
Yeah, sometimes marriages suck, but, when you get it right, there is nothing to compare.
Of course, this is just from my life and I am not trying to change your mind. Plenty of room for all sorts in this world.
I hope you remain happy, Rheanna.
This was my 2nd marriage. First one lasted a week ;o)
I'm the (A.K.A. Manhater) cops won't even pull me over 
HAHA
I'm the (A.K.A. Manhater)
cops won't even pull me over HAHAIts ok if you dont want to get married. But it is not ok, if a lot of people think in that way. The society want somthing from you, they want a more capable next generation, for which you need to be married and keep in that way, then only your child grow up better. Then only we have a good generation coming next to us. And about money, those with less money also have family, they live with the money that they have, they do not go before anything that suck the money. They never ask for luxury. So as long as you know how to live with the money that you able to earn, you can have a good family life.
| rheanna wrote: | ||
too mushy for me....... |
I totally agree with rheanna...
Luck is me I'm single. And will always remain single...hopefully.
Raising a family is a once in a life time experience - Why miss that chance for self vacancy ?
| NinyaEvu wrote: |
| Raising a family is a once in a life time experience - Why miss that chance for self vacancy ? |
A cynic could call it a "once, FOR a lifetime" experience. My wife and I thought about getting a dog once, but decided it was to much responsibility ... us having a family never was an option. I'm not knocking parenthood, it just isn't for everyone.
Best advice I can give: don't marry until you are 40 years of age. Before this age you lack a lot of wisdom. If you do want to marry before this age, make sure you and your friend are compatible.
I'd like kids someday, so marriage is definately a must for me. I don't think I could handle children on my own and I want to share the parenting experience with someone I love. How you live your life is up to you. I don't think you can just tell someone not to get married because everyone has different preferences and experiences with relationships.
Sadow, if you're a woman and thinking about having children... It's best if you marry BEFORE 40. XD The older you are, the more wisdom you may have... But your children will also have a greater risk of being born with a genetic disorder. For men, I suppose marrying after 40 is a good idea... But if you want children your wife would have to be significantly younger than you are and probably with much less wisdom.
Sadow, if you're a woman and thinking about having children... It's best if you marry BEFORE 40. XD The older you are, the more wisdom you may have... But your children will also have a greater risk of being born with a genetic disorder. For men, I suppose marrying after 40 is a good idea... But if you want children your wife would have to be significantly younger than you are and probably with much less wisdom.
wow, Some people think that a marriage is based upon money?
Marriages are based upon love that two people feel for one another... not money...
if you feel that way... then I'm sorry to say this but you are very shallow.
Marriages are based upon love that two people feel for one another... not money...
if you feel that way... then I'm sorry to say this but you are very shallow.
A MAN IS NOT COMPLETE UNTIL HE MARRY ... THEN HE IS FINISHED
Well said ......
Well said ......
| NinyaEvu wrote: |
| Raising a family is a once in a life time experience - Why miss that chance for self vacancy ? |
I agree with this. Why would you want to miss out on an opportunity like this. I guess it is down to personal preference. Whether one chooses to stay single or not. I am happy in my relationship and she is too and i hope it stays that way. You could always meet the perfect one for you. Who knows.
| Teddy1 wrote: | ||
I agree with this. Why would you want to miss out on an opportunity like this. I guess it is down to personal preference. Whether one chooses to stay single or not. I am happy in my relationship and she is too and i hope it stays that way. You could always meet the perfect one for you. Who knows. |
I don't think marriage is for everyone. A part of me actually thinks that marriage is overrated; people think it's the only way of life and if they don't get married at one point in their lives, they're missing out on a lot or they're a social failure.
I however am married.
And as a Christian, I think it's more than a legal document; it's a sacrament. You're as answerable to God as you are to your spouse. But still, I maintain that while marriage is sacred, it is NOT for everybody. Not every person has the personality to remain married. True, society is right to treasure marriage as an institution that teaches people to "mature" or to force them to grow up -- after all, marriage teaches the couple to be more patient, faithful, loving, hardworking, committed, responsible, and others TO each other and to the family they've built. But that doesn't mean people who choose to remain single have something wrong with them. I think it's just as fabulous to stay a responsible single man or woman than to be in a failed marriage.| varon wrote: | ||||
I don't think marriage is for everyone. A part of me actually thinks that marriage is overrated; people think it's the only way of life and if they don't get married at one point in their lives, they're missing out on a lot or they're a social failure. I however am married. And as a Christian, I think it's more than a legal document; it's a sacrament. You're as answerable to God as you are to your spouse. But still, I maintain that while marriage is sacred, it is NOT for everybody. Not every person has the personality to remain married. True, society is right to treasure marriage as an institution that teaches people to "mature" or to force them to grow up -- after all, marriage teaches the couple to be more patient, faithful, loving, hardworking, committed, responsible, and others TO each other and to the family they've built. But that doesn't mean people who choose to remain single have something wrong with them. I think it's just as fabulous to stay a responsible single man or woman than to be in a failed marriage. |
Totally agree with you there. I believe that marriage is not for everyone too. It's all down to the person whether or not to get married. I however do want to get married at some point in my life not too soon but not too late i want to raise a family and have a loving wife, I wish to be devoted to my wife and family. It's what i want and i hope someday it will happen.
Well, even though I'm married I still believe it's a somewhat outdated tradition. There's really no reason you can't get everything out of a relationship without being married.
The marriage itself serves as a great dose of morale for the family I guess, but it certain comes at a significant dollar cost.
Anyway, choose your partner well and married life will treat you well.
The marriage itself serves as a great dose of morale for the family I guess, but it certain comes at a significant dollar cost.
Anyway, choose your partner well and married life will treat you well.
If you are willing to give up marriage to receive better financial aid for school, then you were obviously not in a marriage you should have been in in the first place.
No, he cheated on me and tried to take everything I busted my arse for out of 10 years. Together for 13 years. I paid for him to even be a pilot. (My mistake). He got everything but the house. I fought 3 yrs to get it back after he locked me out of what I paid for. That he thought he was going to get for free. Now my dad owns it. So I still lost. Because of him I have nothing left but my car. I'm still replacing the damages to my house that he so nicely left me. Like ruining my pool.
| rheanna wrote: |
| No, he cheated on me and tried to take everything I busted my arse for out of 10 years. Together for 13 years. I paid for him to even be a pilot. (My mistake). He got everything but the house. I fought 3 yrs to get it back after he locked me out of what I paid for. That he thought he was going to get for free. Now my dad owns it. So I still lost. Because of him I have nothing left but my car. I'm still replacing the damages to my house that he so nicely left me. Like ruining my pool. |
You get guys like that. It's as one person mentioned on this thread. Choose your partner wisely if you're going to get married. After all you want a faithful, sensitive, honest, caring & loving guy. There's not many out there but when you do find one. Hold on tight.
i live in india. in india , marriage is a important part of life. if dont marry,then ur parents will always ask you about ur marriage.i dont want to marry but i have to do it.
regards
abhi
regards
abhi
marriage is not for everyone. but i don't think your first statement sums up what it should be for everything or everyone...that is very shallow and marriage is much more indepth then that. i can't even begin or know where to start with this but i think the second post summed up a great beginning to what marriage is...great post!
Don't ask..I'm done...LIke my simple/quiet life/don't have to answer to no one/wish I got a divorce sooner...
some ppl marriage is one of the best highlights of ur life..
for those who aint getting married soon or rather, do not want to, well, that spectacular highlights is something will be regretfully missed..
for those who aint getting married soon or rather, do not want to, well, that spectacular highlights is something will be regretfully missed..
[quote="HoboPelican"]
Yeah, sometimes marriages suck, but, when you get it right, there is nothing to compare.
quote]
I agree. I have had several bad marriages but I am glad I tried again. I am happy in my life right now althought the memories of the others can be hell to live with.
Yeah, sometimes marriages suck, but, when you get it right, there is nothing to compare.
quote]
I agree. I have had several bad marriages but I am glad I tried again. I am happy in my life right now althought the memories of the others can be hell to live with.
| rheanna wrote: |
| Cheaper being single and all the money is yours to keep.. You get married they take it all.. Best advice I can give you... |
I agree plus i suggest never having kids its like a black hole in your life! your time taken. your money drained. for what? they could grow up to hate your or be unsuccesful so i sadly am against it.
| rheanna wrote: |
| Cheaper being single and all the money is yours to keep.. You get married they take it all.. Best advice I can give you... |
I agree that being single would be cheaper. But I just couldn't live without someone I love beside me.
| Quote: |
| I agree that being single would be cheaper. But I just couldn't live without someone I love beside me. |
Me either. I want to live with someone who i love
. I'm not planning on getting married but if it happens it happens. Not alot i can say really. It's just something you decide over time.Being single is safer for your stuff, but man, I don't think I'd ever want to live without someone to take care of and love on such an intimate level. This is not to say that people can't love each other outside of marriage, but if both people have the same intentions and have thought it through, marriage provides the kind of commitment that allows such things to flourish. At least I hope so. Since I'm getting married in 2.5 months, I'll have to tell you more after that!
This forum is so one-sided when it comes to topics like this. Do you guys watch 400 club and say the pledge of allegienace before breakfast?
You might scorn marriage because of your bad relationship but please don't ruin it for the rest of us. It is more than just a question of cost and money, if you look at a marriage that way then I'm sorry for you, I know what happened to you was harsh, well it was downright shitty but don't generalize all marriages to be like that. I agree that you should choose wisely on who you should marry, cause it is one of the biggest decisions in your life. On having kids, I want to have them with the one I love (my future wife), I wan't to able to experience raising them even if its hard, and for those that rebel its just a phase if you raise them right then they will come back to you.
| rheanna wrote: |
| Cheaper being single and all the money is yours to keep.. You get married they take it all.. Best advice I can give you... |
You gotta be kidding.
| sanwixh wrote: |
| You might scorn marriage because of your bad relationship but please don't ruin it for the rest of us. It is more than just a question of cost and money, if you look at a marriage that way then I'm sorry for you, I know what happened to you was harsh, well it was downright shitty but don't generalize all marriages to be like that. I agree that you should choose wisely on who you should marry, cause it is one of the biggest decisions in your life. On having kids, I want to have them with the one I love (my future wife), I wan't to able to experience raising them even if its hard, and for those that rebel its just a phase if you raise them right then they will come back to you. |
I agree with you there. I have been married for over 10 yrs now and I do not regret one moment of it. Hubby is my best friend and soulmate (without been too fleure bleu) We have 2 little girls and are extremly happy. We never argue about anything (we do talk a lot), we laught, cry and share everything. I respect him and his space and he respect me and mine.
Marriage can be a wonderfull journey.
| gxdrifter wrote: |
| This forum is so one-sided when it comes to topics like this. Do you guys watch 400 club and say the pledge of allegienace before breakfast? |
????
WTF is the 400 club? Do you mean the "700 club", the religious show? And I am clueless as to what marriage has to do with the pledge of allegiance. Politics and religion have nothing to do with my belief that marriage can be a great thing...it has to do with being a romantic and thinking that a good marriage (or relationship) is one of the best things in life.
Of course, a bad marriage is like sand under your eyelid.
roflmao!
Rheanna, what exactly did you have in mind at the time you wrote this topic? Tell us what you WERE feeling at the time, because I thing you no longer think that way. Were you mad at life in the occasion?
| Daisie wrote: | ||
I agree with you there. I have been married for over 10 yrs now and I do not regret one moment of it. Hubby is my best friend and soulmate (without been too fleure bleu) We have 2 little girls and are extremly happy. We never argue about anything (we do talk a lot), we laught, cry and share everything. I respect him and his space and he respect me and mine. Marriage can be a wonderfull journey. |
Thanks for the elegant posts. In this chaotic world we seldom read beautiful significant posts like these coming from posters Daisie and sanwixh. A single paragraph introducing heaven is enough to defeat million paragraphs glorifying hell.
The silent majority who enjoy successful and compleat marriages will look at these posts as very inspiring.
Yes, I, for one, also see marriage as a wonderful journey into a life of blissful coexistence, if and only if, BOTH partners are willing and ready to do THEIR parts. Marriage is a great responsibility for responsible people. If you are not responsible enough to handle your future, then I guess marriage is not for you. Marriage requires a lot of maturity in all areas (not only in terms of age) of your life and if you are not willing to develop maturity (mental, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, physical, psychological, etc) then marriage is not for you.
If you read most of the posts that advocates ‘Don’t ever get married’, you will see a lot of immaturities and cowardice in how they position their sad experiences and beliefs in their posts. The people who see everything as a failure from the start will always end everything with a failure – a loser from the very start. And losers will always want to influence other to become losers, too. I guess, a loser will always want another loser for a company.
My advice to the advocates? How about facing a mirror and asking yourself: “is the image infront of you worthy enough to be a partner in a marriage?”. From there you will know what improvement can be done. If your answer is positive, then you may try marriage. But, if your answer is in the negative, then, you need to ask that image infront of you 'why?'. Do not influence the image, let it answer by itself … you will see great revelations who really you are.
Marriage may not be always successful but that is not the end of the road. If you know your purpose in life and you know why you are here in this world, then any failure will always be a stepping stone to success. And whoever evades those stepping stones will never be successful in their lives.
Thanks once more Daisie and sanwixh. You make a lot of relationships meaningful and worthy. We hope to read more relevant posts from your point.
Hey people ... don't confuse me .. I am about to get married in a months time.. ...!!!??
...!!!??| arjay wrote: |
|
If you read most of the posts that advocates ‘Don’t ever get married’, you will see a lot of immaturities and cowardice in how they position their sad experiences and beliefs in their posts. The people who see everything as a failure from the start will always end everything with a failure – a loser from the very start. And losers will always want to influence other to become losers, too. I guess, a loser will always want another loser for a company.
|
Whatever. I'm no "loser" as you put it. It's the damn truth. You get married you'll lose everything. That's just a fact. I will never, ever get married again. Marriage is sooo over rated it's pathetic.
| rheanna wrote: | ||
Whatever. I'm no "loser" as you put it. It's the damn truth. You get married you'll lose everything. That's just a fact. I will never, ever get married again. Marriage is sooo *over* rated it's pathetic. |
No offense, and I think that the purpose of this forum is to share opinions, but you're either going too far or you're just got sick. Don't spread your own disgrace on the people in this community. You might haven't had enough luck, and I honestly, honestly feel sorry about it. But you're the one how *over* reacting.
| Da Rossa wrote: | ||||
No offense, and I think that the purpose of this forum is to share opinions, but you're either going too far or you're just got sick. Don't spread your own disgrace on the people in this community. You might haven't had enough luck, and I honestly, honestly feel sorry about it. But you're the one how *over* reacting. |
If you want over re-acting I'll give it to you....But I' will not be in the mood for some time. Talk to me to me in a couple of weeks .....
So first lets stop using the word loser, I think its already clear about the division in opinion.
Get married if you really that person, if your just playing around then by all means don't ruin your lives
Thanks for those kind words.
@rheanna
We know you didn't have much luck with men but i admire that you at least tried, meaning you did believe in love at one point and you just became jaded with your experience. However, don't you remember when you did believe and you knew what being married to the one you loved felt? Then that's what most of us are trying to do, be with the one we love and work for it to be forever or at least till death do us part (sometimes love doesn't even end at death). For all we know you could have had nothing to do with your failed marriage as we don't know everything that happened in your file so don't be so defensive when others are expressing their opinion based on their own experiences. Indeed I am sorry that you feel that way and hope there will come a day that you will change your mind where you can be happy with someone you love.
Last edited by sanwixh on Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:01 am; edited 3 times in total
| just-in wrote: |
| Hey people ... don't confuse me .. I am about to get married in a months time.. Smile...!!!?? |
Get married if you really that person, if your just playing around then by all means don't ruin your lives
| arjay wrote: |
|
Thanks for the elegant posts. In this chaotic world we seldom read beautiful significant posts like these coming from posters Daisie and sanwixh. |
Thanks for those kind words.
@rheanna
We know you didn't have much luck with men but i admire that you at least tried, meaning you did believe in love at one point and you just became jaded with your experience. However, don't you remember when you did believe and you knew what being married to the one you loved felt? Then that's what most of us are trying to do, be with the one we love and work for it to be forever or at least till death do us part (sometimes love doesn't even end at death). For all we know you could have had nothing to do with your failed marriage as we don't know everything that happened in your file so don't be so defensive when others are expressing their opinion based on their own experiences. Indeed I am sorry that you feel that way and hope there will come a day that you will change your mind where you can be happy with someone you love.
Last edited by sanwixh on Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:01 am; edited 3 times in total
My business teacher actually told my entire class to never get married and that it is a "stupid" thing to do.
However, I personally think I couldn't and wouldn't get married because I probably would not get along with the person.
However, I personally think I couldn't and wouldn't get married because I probably would not get along with the person.
| sanwixh wrote: |
| So first lets stop using the word loser, I think its already clear about the division in opinion. |
The word loser was coined to be used in the right place and time. No matter how we try to euphemize it, it will still mean the same. The topic advocacy is a losing principle and does not help in any manner to strengthen relationships. Sometimes, telling the truth hurt much but, certainly, it can open eyes and set one free. When one always think about wrong then it will always go wrong.
The use of the word loser in my previous post should be limited to construed to describe the person that ushers the defeated advocacy and neither directly directed to the over-all personality of that person nor how he/she handles, including the result of, the discussion.
Let me quote some definition of the word loser from this source http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/loser
| Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) wrote: |
|
los·er [loo-zer] –noun 1. … n/a ... 2. Informal. a. … n/a ... b. a person who has failed at a particular activity: a loser at marriage. c. someone or something that is marked by consistently or thoroughly bad quality, performance, etc.: Don't bother to see that film, it's a real loser. 3. Slang. a misfit, esp. someone who has never or seldom been successful at a job, personal relationship, etc. |
I firmly believe there is nothing wrong with the word when used appropriately, unless we try to impose technical censorship or editorialize a piece. And, I don’t think any act of speech suppression would be considered healthy in a balanced forum like frihost.
White is white and black is black. When everything you see is black, it is only you who lose the white because surely others see two colors. So, no matter how you hide it by magnifying the black, the white will always be there from the other angle.
| sanwixh wrote: | ||
Thanks for those kind words. We know you didn't have much luck with men but i admire that you at least tried, meaning you did believe in love at one point and you just became jaded with your experience. However, don't you remember when you did believe and you knew what being married to the one you loved felt? Then that's what most of us are trying to do, be with the one we love and work for it to be forever or at least till death do us part (sometimes love doesn't even end at death). For all we know you could have had nothing to do with your failed marriage as we don't know everything that happened in your file so don't be so defensive when others are expressing their opinion based on their own experiences. Indeed I am sorry that you feel that way and hope there will come a day that you will change your mind where you can be happy with someone you love. |
@sanwixh
I think the source quote here is erroneous since, except for the first line of your comment to this quote, you profounded on the original topic poster, hence, it would be respectfully preferred that you put the appropriate source quote instead of quoting me or address appropriately whom you are commenting instead. Any immediate rectification would be appreciated.
Finally, in my humble opinion, in a discussion or forum like this, there is neither a winner nor a loser. Instead, it is the principle that one advocates that makes one seems such.
Thanks for the chance to clarify my position. Goodluck.
My apologies, its apparent that other people also took it the wrong way and I also edited my previous post.
| rheanna wrote: | ||||||
If you want over re-acting I'll give it to you....But I' will not be in the mood for some time. Talk to me to me in a couple of weeks ..... |
Hmmm, I see your situation.
Ok, I can wait. I'll remember. But please, keep destructive comments for yourself until there.
The very premise of this topic is so utterly cynical its incredible. Nobody would exist if it wasn't for at least one of our ancestors didn't get married and you couldn't possibly avoid that point. Unless of course you could trace every single person from your family tree and prove that everyone was born out of wedlock. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and nobody is going to change their minds and I am not trying to do that but the family unit is one of the most basic units of a society, and that's usually very difficult and impractical without a marriage, i am not saying it can't be done but its just not the same.
| rheanna wrote: |
| Cheaper being single and all the money is yours to keep.. You get married they take it all.. Best advice I can give you... |
Wow you speak the truth! Stuff like that should be in the bible!!
James
 |