Cheaper being single and all the money is yours to keep.. You get married they take it all.. Best advice I can give you...
Cheaper being single and all the money is yours to keep.. You get married they take it all.. Best advice I can give you...
Hmmm, a very shallow summing-up of marriage, taken from your own experience?
Not all marriages need be that way.
There are many great advantages to being married (in no order, some serious some not so):
2) More meaningful sex
3) No loneliness
4) Always a shoulder to cry on
5) Always someone on your side
6) A true sense of sharing
7) Never a cold bed
8 ) Someone to do some of the jobs you hate
9) Having a true friend uniquely in possession of all the facts
10) Someone to care for
11) Someone to care for you
12) Someone to spoil
13) Someone to spoil you
14) I am financially better off now I am married and so is my wife
15) The kids have a less stressful upbringing with two (happy) parents
16) Valentines day is never a nightmare
17) The ultimate commitment, sharing yourself completely
18 ) No more selfishness
19) A nice gold ring I didn’t pay for
20) Some nice pictures of the wedding
too mushy for me.......
As far as the gold ring bit, I think the Captain was talking about the ring that his wife gave him... not the ring he gave her.
I think better advice would be to consider carefully the relationship you currently have, and how/why that relationship could/would change through marriage and determine whether or not your partner is trustworthy and willing to commit to a healthy marriage (like the marriage that Fertile is talking about), rather than just a blanket "Don't ever get married".
LoL, I couldn't even get financial aid for schooling because I was married. Now that I'm single (going to stay that way)... I'm going to re-apply for it. Was married for 13 years. Rather stay single.
I doubt many here have a history of marriage as bad as mine. I'm on my third now. The first 2 were hideous. I can't even begin to tell you the pain and suffering involved. Do I still hate the first wife(yeah, wife)? Hell, yes. Do I regret the marriages? Sometimes. Am I glad I tried again. Ohhhhh yeah!
Yeah, sometimes marriages suck, but, when you get it right, there is nothing to compare.
Of course, this is just from my life and I am not trying to change your mind. Plenty of room for all sorts in this world.
I hope you remain happy, Rheanna.
This was my 2nd marriage. First one lasted a week ;o)
I'm the (A.K.A. Manhater) cops won't even pull me over HAHA
Its ok if you dont want to get married. But it is not ok, if a lot of people think in that way. The society want somthing from you, they want a more capable next generation, for which you need to be married and keep in that way, then only your child grow up better. Then only we have a good generation coming next to us. And about money, those with less money also have family, they live with the money that they have, they do not go before anything that suck the money. They never ask for luxury. So as long as you know how to live with the money that you able to earn, you can have a good family life.
I totally agree with rheanna...
Luck is me I'm single. And will always remain single...hopefully.
Raising a family is a once in a life time experience - Why miss that chance for self vacancy ?
A cynic could call it a "once, FOR a lifetime" experience. My wife and I thought about getting a dog once, but decided it was to much responsibility ... us having a family never was an option. I'm not knocking parenthood, it just isn't for everyone.
Best advice I can give: don't marry until you are 40 years of age. Before this age you lack a lot of wisdom. If you do want to marry before this age, make sure you and your friend are compatible.
I'd like kids someday, so marriage is definately a must for me. I don't think I could handle children on my own and I want to share the parenting experience with someone I love. How you live your life is up to you. I don't think you can just tell someone not to get married because everyone has different preferences and experiences with relationships.
Sadow, if you're a woman and thinking about having children... It's best if you marry BEFORE 40. XD The older you are, the more wisdom you may have... But your children will also have a greater risk of being born with a genetic disorder. For men, I suppose marrying after 40 is a good idea... But if you want children your wife would have to be significantly younger than you are and probably with much less wisdom.
wow, Some people think that a marriage is based upon money?
Marriages are based upon love that two people feel for one another... not money...
if you feel that way... then I'm sorry to say this but you are very shallow.
A MAN IS NOT COMPLETE UNTIL HE MARRY ... THEN HE IS FINISHED
Well said ......
I agree with this. Why would you want to miss out on an opportunity like this. I guess it is down to personal preference. Whether one chooses to stay single or not. I am happy in my relationship and she is too and i hope it stays that way. You could always meet the perfect one for you. Who knows.
I don't think marriage is for everyone. A part of me actually thinks that marriage is overrated; people think it's the only way of life and if they don't get married at one point in their lives, they're missing out on a lot or they're a social failure.
I however am married. And as a Christian, I think it's more than a legal document; it's a sacrament. You're as answerable to God as you are to your spouse. But still, I maintain that while marriage is sacred, it is NOT for everybody. Not every person has the personality to remain married. True, society is right to treasure marriage as an institution that teaches people to "mature" or to force them to grow up -- after all, marriage teaches the couple to be more patient, faithful, loving, hardworking, committed, responsible, and others TO each other and to the family they've built. But that doesn't mean people who choose to remain single have something wrong with them. I think it's just as fabulous to stay a responsible single man or woman than to be in a failed marriage.
Totally agree with you there. I believe that marriage is not for everyone too. It's all down to the person whether or not to get married. I however do want to get married at some point in my life not too soon but not too late i want to raise a family and have a loving wife, I wish to be devoted to my wife and family. It's what i want and i hope someday it will happen.
Well, even though I'm married I still believe it's a somewhat outdated tradition. There's really no reason you can't get everything out of a relationship without being married.
The marriage itself serves as a great dose of morale for the family I guess, but it certain comes at a significant dollar cost.
Anyway, choose your partner well and married life will treat you well.
If you are willing to give up marriage to receive better financial aid for school, then you were obviously not in a marriage you should have been in in the first place.
No, he cheated on me and tried to take everything I busted my arse for out of 10 years. Together for 13 years. I paid for him to even be a pilot. (My mistake). He got everything but the house. I fought 3 yrs to get it back after he locked me out of what I paid for. That he thought he was going to get for free. Now my dad owns it. So I still lost. Because of him I have nothing left but my car. I'm still replacing the damages to my house that he so nicely left me. Like ruining my pool.
You get guys like that. It's as one person mentioned on this thread. Choose your partner wisely if you're going to get married. After all you want a faithful, sensitive, honest, caring & loving guy. There's not many out there but when you do find one. Hold on tight.
i live in india. in india , marriage is a important part of life. if dont marry,then ur parents will always ask you about ur marriage.i dont want to marry but i have to do it.
marriage is not for everyone. but i don't think your first statement sums up what it should be for everything or everyone...that is very shallow and marriage is much more indepth then that. i can't even begin or know where to start with this but i think the second post summed up a great beginning to what marriage is...great post!
Don't ask..I'm done...LIke my simple/quiet life/don't have to answer to no one/wish I got a divorce sooner...
some ppl marriage is one of the best highlights of ur life..
for those who aint getting married soon or rather, do not want to, well, that spectacular highlights is something will be regretfully missed..
Yeah, sometimes marriages suck, but, when you get it right, there is nothing to compare.
I agree. I have had several bad marriages but I am glad I tried again. I am happy in my life right now althought the memories of the others can be hell to live with.
I agree plus i suggest never having kids its like a black hole in your life! your time taken. your money drained. for what? they could grow up to hate your or be unsuccesful so i sadly am against it.
I agree that being single would be cheaper. But I just couldn't live without someone I love beside me.
Me either. I want to live with someone who i love . I'm not planning on getting married but if it happens it happens. Not alot i can say really. It's just something you decide over time.
Being single is safer for your stuff, but man, I don't think I'd ever want to live without someone to take care of and love on such an intimate level. This is not to say that people can't love each other outside of marriage, but if both people have the same intentions and have thought it through, marriage provides the kind of commitment that allows such things to flourish. At least I hope so. Since I'm getting married in 2.5 months, I'll have to tell you more after that!
This forum is so one-sided when it comes to topics like this. Do you guys watch 400 club and say the pledge of allegienace before breakfast?
You might scorn marriage because of your bad relationship but please don't ruin it for the rest of us. It is more than just a question of cost and money, if you look at a marriage that way then I'm sorry for you, I know what happened to you was harsh, well it was downright shitty but don't generalize all marriages to be like that. I agree that you should choose wisely on who you should marry, cause it is one of the biggest decisions in your life. On having kids, I want to have them with the one I love (my future wife), I wan't to able to experience raising them even if its hard, and for those that rebel its just a phase if you raise them right then they will come back to you.
You gotta be kidding.
I agree with you there. I have been married for over 10 yrs now and I do not regret one moment of it. Hubby is my best friend and soulmate (without been too fleure bleu) We have 2 little girls and are extremly happy. We never argue about anything (we do talk a lot), we laught, cry and share everything. I respect him and his space and he respect me and mine.
Marriage can be a wonderfull journey.
WTF is the 400 club? Do you mean the "700 club", the religious show? And I am clueless as to what marriage has to do with the pledge of allegiance. Politics and religion have nothing to do with my belief that marriage can be a great thing...it has to do with being a romantic and thinking that a good marriage (or relationship) is one of the best things in life.
Of course, a bad marriage is like sand under your eyelid.
Rheanna, what exactly did you have in mind at the time you wrote this topic? Tell us what you WERE feeling at the time, because I thing you no longer think that way. Were you mad at life in the occasion?
Thanks for the elegant posts. In this chaotic world we seldom read beautiful significant posts like these coming from posters Daisie and sanwixh. A single paragraph introducing heaven is enough to defeat million paragraphs glorifying hell.
The silent majority who enjoy successful and compleat marriages will look at these posts as very inspiring.
Yes, I, for one, also see marriage as a wonderful journey into a life of blissful coexistence, if and only if, BOTH partners are willing and ready to do THEIR parts. Marriage is a great responsibility for responsible people. If you are not responsible enough to handle your future, then I guess marriage is not for you. Marriage requires a lot of maturity in all areas (not only in terms of age) of your life and if you are not willing to develop maturity (mental, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, physical, psychological, etc) then marriage is not for you.
If you read most of the posts that advocates ‘Don’t ever get married’, you will see a lot of immaturities and cowardice in how they position their sad experiences and beliefs in their posts. The people who see everything as a failure from the start will always end everything with a failure – a loser from the very start. And losers will always want to influence other to become losers, too. I guess, a loser will always want another loser for a company.
My advice to the advocates? How about facing a mirror and asking yourself: “is the image infront of you worthy enough to be a partner in a marriage?”. From there you will know what improvement can be done. If your answer is positive, then you may try marriage. But, if your answer is in the negative, then, you need to ask that image infront of you 'why?'. Do not influence the image, let it answer by itself … you will see great revelations who really you are.
Marriage may not be always successful but that is not the end of the road. If you know your purpose in life and you know why you are here in this world, then any failure will always be a stepping stone to success. And whoever evades those stepping stones will never be successful in their lives.
Thanks once more Daisie and sanwixh. You make a lot of relationships meaningful and worthy. We hope to read more relevant posts from your point.
Hey people ... don't confuse me .. I am about to get married in a months time.. ...!!!??
Whatever. I'm no "loser" as you put it. It's the damn truth. You get married you'll lose everything. That's just a fact. I will never, ever get married again. Marriage is sooo over rated it's pathetic.
No offense, and I think that the purpose of this forum is to share opinions, but you're either going too far or you're just got sick. Don't spread your own disgrace on the people in this community. You might haven't had enough luck, and I honestly, honestly feel sorry about it. But you're the one how *over* reacting.
If you want over re-acting I'll give it to you....But I' will not be in the mood for some time. Talk to me to me in a couple of weeks .....
So first lets stop using the word loser, I think its already clear about the division in opinion.
Get married if you really that person, if your just playing around then by all means don't ruin your lives
Thanks for those kind words.
We know you didn't have much luck with men but i admire that you at least tried, meaning you did believe in love at one point and you just became jaded with your experience. However, don't you remember when you did believe and you knew what being married to the one you loved felt? Then that's what most of us are trying to do, be with the one we love and work for it to be forever or at least till death do us part (sometimes love doesn't even end at death). For all we know you could have had nothing to do with your failed marriage as we don't know everything that happened in your file so don't be so defensive when others are expressing their opinion based on their own experiences. Indeed I am sorry that you feel that way and hope there will come a day that you will change your mind where you can be happy with someone you love.
My business teacher actually told my entire class to never get married and that it is a "stupid" thing to do.
However, I personally think I couldn't and wouldn't get married because I probably would not get along with the person.
The word loser was coined to be used in the right place and time. No matter how we try to euphemize it, it will still mean the same. The topic advocacy is a losing principle and does not help in any manner to strengthen relationships. Sometimes, telling the truth hurt much but, certainly, it can open eyes and set one free. When one always think about wrong then it will always go wrong.
The use of the word loser in my previous post should be limited to construed to describe the person that ushers the defeated advocacy and neither directly directed to the over-all personality of that person nor how he/she handles, including the result of, the discussion.
Let me quote some definition of the word loser from this source http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/loser
I firmly believe there is nothing wrong with the word when used appropriately, unless we try to impose technical censorship or editorialize a piece. And, I don’t think any act of speech suppression would be considered healthy in a balanced forum like frihost.
White is white and black is black. When everything you see is black, it is only you who lose the white because surely others see two colors. So, no matter how you hide it by magnifying the black, the white will always be there from the other angle.
I think the source quote here is erroneous since, except for the first line of your comment to this quote, you profounded on the original topic poster, hence, it would be respectfully preferred that you put the appropriate source quote instead of quoting me or address appropriately whom you are commenting instead. Any immediate rectification would be appreciated.
Finally, in my humble opinion, in a discussion or forum like this, there is neither a winner nor a loser. Instead, it is the principle that one advocates that makes one seems such.
Thanks for the chance to clarify my position. Goodluck.
My apologies, its apparent that other people also took it the wrong way and I also edited my previous post.
Hmmm, I see your situation.
Ok, I can wait. I'll remember. But please, keep destructive comments for yourself until there.
The very premise of this topic is so utterly cynical its incredible. Nobody would exist if it wasn't for at least one of our ancestors didn't get married and you couldn't possibly avoid that point. Unless of course you could trace every single person from your family tree and prove that everyone was born out of wedlock. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and nobody is going to change their minds and I am not trying to do that but the family unit is one of the most basic units of a society, and that's usually very difficult and impractical without a marriage, i am not saying it can't be done but its just not the same.
Wow you speak the truth! Stuff like that should be in the bible!!
Ooooh I found this old post and several years on I feel I just had to reply:
1) Companionship [Sugar daddy time] (she is still my best friend 8 years on)
2) More meaningful sex [use him an lose him, don't forget his wallet] (still the best 8 years on)
3) No loneliness [no kids, no man..the house is clean, all the time, you got the computer..whose lonely] ;o) (I'm still not lonely even during a power cut)
4) Always a shoulder to cry on [Be a man not a wimp] (6' 2", 280lbs, ex-nightclub bouncer who now works with dead bodies every day, wimp doesn't really apply)
5) Always someone on your side [My dad..Don't need anyone else] (My dad is dead)
6) A true sense of sharing [I share online ;o)] (I share in the real world, maybe that's where you are going wrong)
7) Never a cold bed [that's why you have stuffed animals or pets] ha ha (stuffed animals don't produce heat and you get arrested for sex with a pet)
8 ) Someone to do some of the jobs you hate [I make kids mow the lawn..job done ] (I've got kids and a wife, double bubble!)
9) Having a true friend uniquely in possession of all the facts[that would be F buddy] (you share as much with a f buddy? I doubt it)
10) Someone to care for [why, I have my cat] (Just plain sad!)
11) Someone to care for you [F buddy] (while her cares for you how many other f buddies does her care for? One word - PROTECTION)
12) Someone to spoil [S Daddy's job] (Hmmmm, maybe selfishness could be a problem too?)
13) Someone to spoil you[S daddy's job] (as above)
14) I am financially better off now I am married and so is my wife [he took the bank account and costed me more to get the divorce then it costed me to get married in the first place] lol (unlucky or a poor choice)
15) The kids have a less stressful upbringing with two (happy) parents [no kids/no worries] (no kids, missing so much)
16) Valentines day is never a nightmare [sooo overrated] (soooo what! In fact not over-rated at all when you have someone you give damn about.)
17) The ultimate commitment, sharing yourself completely[living in a dream world] (still living in the same dream world 8 years on, how lucky am I????)
18 ) No more selfishness [ not selfish if you give back] (mmm. can't argue with that one - just find the right person who will and don't just marry the first one that comes along, oh and YOU have to give back too without expecting anything in return)
19) A nice gold ring I didn’t pay for [what? you made the wife pay for that?...typical] (clearly I bought her one too silly!)
20) Some nice pictures of the wedding [ I burned them all/ I forgot what he looks like] (if its worthwile you want to keep 'em - mine still hangs in the living room 8 years on)
Yes it may all seem like la-la land but its working for me so far.
By the way, they only screw you over if you pick the wrong one. Ergo: PICK THE RIGHT ONE & NOT JUST ANYONE THAT ASKS.
Yes I am a smug pain in the butt but we are doing pretty damn well, this says a lot about us, our relationship and the choices we made. If it all came tumbling down tomorrow spme of my choices could be called into question but not the 8 years in a 'dream world' we have had. More than many yet we are nothing special. We just BOTH appreciate what we have together.
It may sound like a "Dream world" (yes that comment really narked me) but if more of us worked at marriage instead of expecting it all to be perfect we would all work hard to make our marriages work.
I know you can't help being saddled with a lieing dog sometimes but don't knock those of us who have found a diamond amongst the dross.
Anyway, good luck with the future.
1) And you cannot get companionship from good friends/girlfriends/boyfriends
2) This one always pisses me off. Who are you to undermine the sex that I, someone who is not married, has? It is just as meaningful as yours... Actually, I'd say more because I won't get bored sleeping with the same person every night for the rest of my life.
3) Why would you be lonely just because you're not married? You must have poor social skills...
4) Only wimps cry and since I am a real man, I don't need that shoulder
5) Yeah bugging you
6) What? No one ever has siblings, friends, etc.? This must be relative to your lifestyle and/or where you live. Many countries around the world have communities where sharing=survival
7) Do you have blankets?
8) Although you may end up doing things you hate (like shopping with the wife at a mall) so it all evens out.
9) What? What is it with you and not having friends? I feel deeply sorry for you.
10) And I don't care for my girlfriend, family, friends, myself, etc.?
11) No one cares for me already? This is the reciprocation of 10.
12) And this is a plus, how?
13) I have myself.
14) Wow. One I agree with. As long as the spouse works, it's basically a roommate for life (or until divorce). Of course, you can still get that roommate without getting married so I don't see this as a strong argument.
15) And this is an argument for marriage how? I see it as an argue against it. Honestly, I have never seen why anyone would actually want kids. They're bad investments. They drain of your money, you have to care for them, you have to clean up for them, you basically have to live their life for them at the expense of living your own life. There goes all your plans or parties, traveling the world, education, etc. when you're young! Kids essentially ruin your life... Besides, kids can't have two happy parents that are not married?
16) Since when has it been a nightmare? I think it would be better single. I can choose to participate if I feel like it. If you're married you basically have an obligation to spend money and "be romantic."
17) Why would you want commitment? Commitment is just giving yourself extra work...
18) And this is good why?
20) Even more wow... Your very own photos of the wedding! You must be struggling to actually find good things about marriage.
These reasons are terrible (or you just are bad at arguing why they are good).
Edit: I decided to respond to the original post:
See the logical contradiction? If half the population gets married - it's a mistake and cheaper to not get married. For the other half, it's cheaper to get married...
Gracious--I have to respond in someway just because I read most of the comments. I had failed at marriage before I met my husband of 23 years. A couple of times during the 23 years we barely, barely hung on. I now look at him and I am grateful that we weathered the critical times, the boring times, the ... times. This last year it is as if a dark, heavy cloud has lifted. We still struggle through something on a continual basis. We are strong partners and still attracted to each other after times of no interest in each other beyond "room-mates". ..."Mornin, Mate:-)"
I guess long term committed realtionships can be similar to the weather... If you don't like it now, wait awhile. It will change.
Sometimes the answer is just simply, “I haven’t met the right person”. You are really frustrated as to why that special someone hasn’t materialized into your life yet especially since you have been really trying. When my 35th birthday came and I was still single without a sweetie pie, I had a sad cloud hanging over me because I just did not understand how I still had not found someone. I mean, I had like 20 years to practice and search, so you figure that something has to have happened by then.
Maybe after 35 the pressure is so on because, well, for the ladies, the time to biologically procreate is coming to a close. When I was young I knew that love was the only reason to choose a mate. Indeed, it was probably more lust and attraction that led me to my mate. Humans are attracted to mates when they are younger for different reasons.When I was young I knew that love was the only reason to choose a mate. Indeed, it was probably more lust and attraction that led me to my mate. Humans are attracted to mates when they are younger for different reasons. Since I like to learn, of course, one might believe that attraction to an intellectual mate would be the due course. However, smart people do not always want to be around smarter people. It makes them feel dumb sometimes. I would probably choose a mate who is smart but in topics in which I am not as well developed.im really excited to marry.
Well at the end if the day it comes down to this! when you come back from home and want somebody to talk to about your stupid boss or how a client has been bothering you, or share the joy of an un expeced bonus trust me it is your wife!
I am getting married this month. Please don't scare me with this type of topics.
It depends on the type of people who get married, and I think that the most difficult problem which makes couples break up is the problem of being not sincere to each other. Sometimes people understand they don't actually feel anything towards other person after a good few years. And sometimes the problem is because some people like to "try on living" with each other before marriage - and that's okay, but they tend to do it too long, and they actually get bored with each other. And the other problem is, that BEFORE you get married, you need to properly know each other - so no pathetic shortcuts along the way, if you don't like something about your girlfriend, then I suggest telling it right away, because it can get troublesome later and may even drive up to the divorce.
Marriage is not necessary a bad thing, but some people really shouldn't get married. And there are also people, who are meant to be single for their entire life, because they don't want/can't live in a relationship. It is really complex, and cannot be put in single words.
I'm still a teenager so obviously not in the least bit experienced in any marriage related matters, but I think the OP is completely wrong in saying it'll never work out. Some people just don't fit together, others go together like puzzle pieces. And it's not always about how they get along with their other, but also the fact that some people simply cannot equally dedicate themselves to someone else as they do to themselves, whereas others are naturally selfless. Whatever, I still have a few more years of having meaningless, easy-to-forget 'romances'!
it depends of course... True love is needed some give and take. If you will treat the money you give as
take away, i don't think it it is true love...
I can't really agree. Money isn't everything. Everyone need a person to accompany, who deserves your love and who love you.
Terribly sorry you had to go through all this, rheanna -- and glad to see you still have your pride and your sense of humor.
Different people have different experiences of marriage (and of divorce), but I believe I'd probably feel the same as you do in your situation. Keep up !
Now I remember this topic. The impression I have, from these years on, is that I can't disagree more with rheanna. Too simplistic your point of view! I think you'll feel the need again, one day.
Marriage isn't about feelings or lovey dovey or anything like that. That's what relationships are for, Marriage in and of itself is dual sided sacrifice, and it's not all about yourself, it's about your life partner, your mate. Only when we become self-concerned, selfish, and all about ME ME ME, then marriage fails and someone winds up hurt. It should be about the other person more so than yourself; otherwise, no one's needs are met, and both sides wind up angry, hurt, sad, and frustrated. Anyone who tries to tell you that Marriage and relationships are all about you probably have been married a few times, or has been seriously wounded in a relationship, like in the topic starter's case.
My wager is this; both parties were self-concerned and did not budge on anything they wanted, and the whole thing blew up, both sides got angry and vengeful.
PRIME EXAMPLE. Wife wants to buy a condo. Husband wants to buy 5 acres and a log house. They have money for either option, but not both, so there can be no "summer" home or "winter" home like in some cases. Wife says she wants a condo for very good, legitimate reasons, some of which have to do with work, commute, and having a little extra money after the fact for upgrades. He wants the property and log house for other very good, legitimate reasons; they can grow their own food, raise a large number of kids, have pets, and eventually self-sustain on 5 acres so neither of them have to work.
If neither spouse sacrifice or budge here, there's only one conclusion; detonation. This is going to end in vicious arguments, health problems due to stress, and a messy, violent break up that we commonly see in today's marriages. It's become about "you make me happy, and this is what I want from you." Not what it used to be; "I love you to pieces, this is what I can do for you."
This scenario has MANY outs; one would be the husband realizing his dream is not her dream, and settling with a little garden on the porch. Another would be her seeing this dream of his means everything to him, and she can let go of her security and familiarity to let him test the waters of this dream. If all else fails, they can STILL go back to her plan. Also, they can reach a comfortable compromise - a house in the city or on the edge of the city on a large enough lot so the man can have a good size garden, and she can still do her thing with work.
If both focus on their own wants/needs/whims, the other gets ignored, and NO ONE ends up happy. If it's all about YOU, then you honestly don't deserve to be married - never mind wanting to. My advice to the topic creator is this; try getting over yourself, and learn to make a few sacrifices or compromises. You can't bounce from man to man forever; it's gonna catch up on you.
Sorry fellas, just wanted to say I'm amazed at how easy some think it is to give free advice when we know so little about what was experienced and felt.
Theory is great, but invalidating somebody's feelings after they've been through a hell you have no idea about, is definitely not the best way to make any point.
Let's try to listen before we speak, shall we?
But, theres no indication the OP was hurt in any way. We all made assumptions, didn't we...
I'm single, but I heard about an study which says that married people usually is more wealthy than sngle people, maybe it is related with two heads think better than one
But put it in perspective, when two people work together, they are less prone to be affected by financial issues, since there's the possiblity of a backup. Or maybe having children offers a major effort perspective than only thinking in oneself.
I agree. Specially if the couple is 'in sync'. Actually, not everyone is gonna believe me but love is what make the couple succeed even in this matter.
Yep, I also think that as a couple you tend to focus on a different kind of expenses, and you "look ahead" in a different way, which may result in saving more, etc. Also, I guess there are some expenses that are cut down because you reduce the cost of some elements in your life (for instance, if I'm not mistaken a refrigerator accounts for as high as a third of electricity expenses in a household; so, with the same salaries, it's better to be two people using the same fridge, isn't it?). Then in a number of countries, tax schemes favor couples and families rather than singles, etc.
But whatever the financial advantages, the phrase "better single than with the wrong person" remains true, because at the end of the day, no financial advantage will make you happy if you can't stand the person you're sharing it with
No one is an island. maybe you can survive being single when you're young but hey, once you get old, you need someone to share your life before you die. lol.
anyhow. My opinion is, not getting married is just an option for people who hates responsibility. they don't wanna spread love in general. What's the use of earning much wealth if you don't have your own family. Its like saving something for nothing. Being single is being selfish. Peace.
that's all for now.
Nice topic though.
I'm all for marriage (if it's with the right person) but I don't think being single is being selfish. Actually, many singles are heavily involved in community and social work etc. I wouldn't go as far as saying it "sublimates" the lack of a spouse, but that sure is a lot of love they're giving around.
I know lots of people who are single and are volunteers at the same time.
They have their own stories.
1. Some has given up love and thinks that they're not gonna find their Ideal spouse anymore.
2. Some are waiting for Mr./Ms. Right
2. Others don't have enough money to get married.
3. Some says its because they're happy just whining around.
But i asked them if they are happy, they're not.
When you ask people about not getting married, they pause a bit and answer. its like they are making up excuses.
Love moves in mysterious ways and love conquers all. if both of you are mature enough, then you can make a commitment and get marry. There is no right or wrong person, you have your lifetime to know each other.
This only applies to people who has the freedom to choose their own partner.
I'm not all for arranged marriages but studies tend to show that, contrary to what we may think, couples whose marriage has been arranged tend to be happier than others!
There was a recent article in Scientific American MIND dedicated to the question of happiness in long-term relationships. You're supposed to pay to see the full article on their website but luckily it is available for free on its author's webpage
it is not that they take it all away.. it is a matter of sharing of what you have to each other... building
a foundation for the family is nice... you can have a good future to have with your own children...
Just rereading this, I'm reminded that I've read somewhere that married men live longer. Not sure about married women though...
My parents have been married for 52 years. They should have separated 53 years ago. Based off my parents, I can't ever see getting married. Tolerating someone just to have someone around is not a stable place especially with kids stuck in middle.
Marriage is an institution, Couples should be institutionalized! laugh!
Its the best thing to ge married. if one is not married i wonder how he or she can organise life. i know that the world ll have more peace if we have more lovely family.
I kinda agree. How would the society be organised if there was no families in the way we know it? People would get together anyway.
Some people say, do not marry, but they got married.
So I suggest to be in the pool of married people.
Who is living better is really depends on other situations.
To me (I am married) if you have other means to satisfy your sexual needs, probably, you do not need to get marry.
As long as happiness is concerned, it is (generally and always) with you as long as you do not have kids.
when you have kids, do make more than two.
Anyway, still I\ll suggest to all singles to get married.
Yep, I feel the same. This is not to say that passion cannot live long or be revived, but as you point out there is much more to love than just passion. Disillusioned couples (or members of a couple) might be fooled by the assumption that passion is the core of love. Yet two important points are that passion probably doesn't last long when resting on its own powers, and that passion can also emerge between people who have little in common in other respects. Love founded primarily on passion therefore runs the risk of finding its base eroded, with possibly no other base to keep it standing (as passion doesn't need anything else to be set afire). Friendship is, in my opinion as well, the main ingredient that can help love to keep on growing.
Why...?? why are you saying that ??
I don't think that its wrong to get married...but yeah getting married to a wrong person is wrong but getting married is not a wrong thing....
i don't agree with you.because in this pace of life style one needs to have ones company other than parents whom he/she can rely upon,share feeling things and all that is meant to be shared with some one important.
so its all wrong my friend...
I wonder if someone have watched an Indian song “Zor ka jhatka laga Zorron Se”. Its video is very cheap but words/meanings are funny if some one can get English subtitle or translation.
In this song it is mentioned not to get marry and blamed the person who started this custom.
Anyway, someone mentioned in earlier post that marriage itself is not bad but getting married with a wrong person could be taken as bad.
By the way, marriage is becoming obsolete and I do not like this trend. Marriage is – to some extent – is a guarantee that the children would learn moral values and human beings will remain connected properly. Otherwise difference between human beings and animal may jeopardize.
Take Care – Good Luck
I consider marriage to be a beautiful thing especially if you are with the person you love. It could be difficult sometimes but love will always prevail.
Do you have a link to the video on the web?
Do you have a link to the video on the web?
Here are some VERY interesting links that discuss why marriage is a bad idea particularly for men:
true it always better to be single..
yours money think before spending even a penny!
actually this is not mushy at all I like it. I mean it is great to be single and then one night you call your friends and every one is out with their loved ones. single life can only be done for so long and then you become lonely as heck. My wedding day was one of the biggest change I ever went through. marriage made me more humble, less selfish. for once im not thinking about my self or just concern about the "me" zone. I think about how his day is going, are the coworker friendly to him if that's his new job, is the new boss a jackass and yes like the previous post politely put it something to spoil rotten. I love it.
I understand. All men are happy when they are rich.
Money is more important for men then love.
Well its pretty complicated:) I don`t mind getting married, its just first I need to get a gf:D
Well it depends actually. You can work together with your spouse..I think you are referring to you in-laws who will get your money..
And besides it is lonely to grow old single
I see the same.
Men is counting money and gold the whole day:
Woman is screaming in bed: Come and have sex.
Here's what Donald Duck has to say about marriage:
Oh my dear.
Donald never had sex.
Donald has no parents.
Donald has no children.
Go to the cinema and watch some Disney movies.
I couldn't imagine my life without my husband. I am very glad that I married him and that we've now got children. I think my life is definitely better with him in it.
That being said, however, should anything ever happen to our relationship (whether it due to divorce or other unfortunate circumstances) there is no way on Earth I'd consider getting into such a relationship again. I much prefer the sound of focusing on who I am as an individual, rather than sharing myself. I might consider a poly-relationship but don't really see myself bothering with that either.
Sometimes I wish I waited until I was a bit older before I chose to settle down with 'the one' but really - the universe threw him at me when I was 19 and I wasn't letting him go.
Love is happiness.
Stay together is happiness.
Maybe a lot of people like fighting
so they can go after a fight in a cave and collect power for the next lonely fight.
Personally I don't think you are over reacting, you are going through the same thing I did. To marry someone love them and give them everything over the course of the relationship just to find out in the end that it was never about companionship, love, family, or mutual connection, but it was all about money and possessions is crushing. It is especially crushing when you do things like pay for their education thinking that you are helping both of you only to have them get their new career and take you for everything they can in leaving for their new career.
I went through the same thing and it was 7 years before I entertained the idea of a committed relationship again.
I agree with rheanna in that never getting married again is the natural reaction to such an experience. Next thing you will need to do is get better at choosing partners, and be confident in your ability to give and support your mate in a relationship. The relationship I am in now I do a lot for her, but I demand in a loving kind way that she show me the same respect that I show her. I have been through a number of relationships prior to the present one where the moment I saw that same selfish behavior I saw in my ex, I would dump them right away. Learn to recognize the patterns of the selfish relationships you have had, and stay away from people that act the same way!!!
That's my 2 cents!!!
Relationship is not education.
If You want to educate Your partner
You are always frustrated
like written here.
I just read the first page of this thread and just wanted to point out something.
A person that says had a car, a house with pool, ..., asking for aid for schooling? There are people really needy which should be aided and not those who don't need it. When I read things like that I'm ashamed about the selfishness in the world.
i almost got married i had a fiancee for a 3 years
hmm agree......so true.
Have no plans for that unless she decides otherwise.
It sounds funny !!
Some people play a show
to attrac attention.
D'oh! Just go find a better husband.. There are plenty of fishes in the water. How many times have you been married?
Who is the catcher?
Who is the fish?
Does a fish in the bed make happy?
Does a fish in the bed make a tv watcher happy?
Marriage is no longer needed and common law is just as binding almost. Being single sucks and being in a relationship sucks. No win.
How about sex?
Also old fashioned and boring?
nice topic rheanna
but i think you just got wrong person, most people are happy with their marriage..
if you don't notice from people around, you got wrong habitat.
but not all people must go to married, some would be better alone
How many are most?
And how long are they happy?
Sir, I completely agree with you. Marriage can truly be a waste of time and money.
Why do Yiou not talk one word with the woman before marriage?
Great being single but great being in a relationship. There is no winning in this matter.
Love isnt fighting.
Did no one tell You this?
Love ist relaxation.