FRIHOST • FORUMS • SEARCH • FAQ • TOS • BLOGS • COMPETITIONS
You are invited to Log in or Register a free Frihost Account!


Is 18 to young for someone 25?





Ray Gravin
I told myself last year that I would never date a teenager again. There is just to much drama with teenage adults. People change so much in the 3 years between voting age and drinking age that it makes it hard to determine someone's true identity. I think this is a good rule to live by but now I have my doubts.

I've been talking to this girl that I meet at a vegan potluck for a few weeks now. She's a vegan, I'm a vegan. She's single, I'm single. It should be perfect shouldn't it? She's only 18 though : (

Is this age gap completely inappropriate?
Sadow
No, live your life. See what happens.
I would go for it if I were you, you are trying to prevent heartache because you think 18 year olds change their mind often or might change completely. This isn't a rule of thumb, but yeah it could happen. But who knows.. this might be the love of your life. I would really go for it. Wink
altikris
seems like it would make sense. But try to think about how you were when you were 18. you were young, innocent and thought you knew it all. now that you are 25, you have experienced things much more since then. If you were with a 25 year old when you were 18, do you think you would have stayed with them forever? people change, especially at that age on....I say, don't put everything you have into the relationship until you know they have..
Sadow
This is something everyone has to decide for their own. Personally I would go for having a good time - seize the day.
In my opinion marriage or a long term commitment is something you go for once you have reached the age of 40. Until then you lack the wisdom to understand the consequences of that commitment.
If you're in your late teens or in your twenties I say: "go for it and have fun, life's to short..."
Nae_splash
When you become older i don't think age will matter too much. You should go for it and see what happens. Be responsible though. She's only 18...

~Nae
AmzLangers
Some teenagers can be really dramatic, but the only reason is that your older so they expect you have had the experience. O.o trust me My friend is like that io know. lol. ok With your relationship querie i would say go for it, 18 is not to youngt at all. and she's able to go to night clubs and drive around, so see how it goes, but I am going to say this once, Please take your time and get to know her better. and don't rush things. If she wants anything you will know. if your not good at hints, sex talk and other stuff is good. I will say relationships only last if it can be talked out.
evilryu530
y do u like dating teens?
Ray Gravin
Quote:
y do u like dating teens?


Thats the thing, I DON"T like dating teens!

I think I will I will just keep things friendly and see how shes plays things out. Its probably safer for both of us if she moves at her own pace. I'm in no rush to get married and if we enjoy each others company thats enough for me right now.
windrei
eh.... 18 and 25... quite similar to me.... my girlfriend is 18 and i am 24. i dont see any problems till now, although sometimes she is quite childish. i believe that she will change a lot around this age. As you said, it's the time for her to change from a teenager to an adult. We cannot change this fact. All i can do now is to watching her change herself gradually but at the same time guiding her, do not let her change to a wrong way.

Age is totally not a problem. It depends on your and her characters in fact. If you 2 are serious, then where is the problem ? After 40 years, nobody would think you 2 are not a good couple~~
Ray Gravin
Quote:
All i can do now is to watching her change herself gradually but at the same time guiding her, do not let her change to a wrong way.


When I was 18 I started to date a girl that was only 16. We stayed together for almost 5 years and it was a really great relationship. After she turned 20 though she started to change in a bad way. We both change and it was this change that ultimatly destroyed the relationship. I guess this is the primary reason that I am so concerned about the difference in age. Of course I'm not looking for anything to intense with this new girl, I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't completly inapropriate for me to even consider.
ThornsOfSorrow
People will say things, but you shouldn't let that stop you. As I've said a few times in this forum, I once dated a 25 year old when I was only 17. I got made fun of, he got made fun of, and people thought it was really weird. You at least have the benefit of your relationship being legal due to the extra year, but there will be people who think it's inappropriate.

I don't mean to make you feel pessimistic, but just be prepared to deal with all of the close-minded people out there. And I really like your idea of letting her control what happens; that's probably the best way to handle the situation.
Ray Gravin
I look pretty young for my age thankfully. Most people think I'm still a tween. I don't think anyone but her parents and my friends will have much to say lol!
cavey
As long as she is "legal", and old enough to know what she wants, and you really like each other, go for it! You are both adults!

But you had your youth, let her have hers. Don't let your relationship prevent her from being a teenager and hang out with her teenage-friends. She will regret that if/when your relationship is over.
Captain Fertile
As I have mentioned a number of times before there is a ten year age-gap between my wife and I. This is no problem at all. While she was far from a teen when we met it would have made no difference to me, as long as she was mature and legal that was all I was concerned about when the right woman came along.

If it makes you both happy- go for it! As your ages change it wont sound like such a gap anyway.
pontus
Age is just a number, if it feels right go for it...
shamy
You have to try .....
creezalird
I don't think age difference plays any role in the relationship..what important is that how you feel and how you understand with each other..
Age is just a number..so don't be too worry about it..
Love someone that u love till the last drop of ur bloods..cheers
imera
Changing between voting age and drinking age, it dosn't have to be much changes. Most teens they chnge much because they are like teens should behave, they don't want to be outside from the "gang" and they they do all stupid stuff.
I grew up quite early so I havn't changed much really, I have been a grownup many years now and I'm only 19. So it depends on how she are, are she still a teen and don't really know herself, or does she think by herself and not by what others think. But I don't know her so you will have to find that out
Blaster
Thats 7 years difference... i don't think so personaly. I think that is too old... besides isn't that illeagle? Like its one thing for like 4 years but that is a lot different. But i don't know. I guess if there in love then you can't do anything about it.
charisco
In a case such as this, I don't think the age should be the determining factor. I think that you should look moreso at her maturity level, as there are some 18 year olds who are mature enough to be in a relationship with someone 7 years older than them. On the other hand, there are some 35 year olds that I know personally who probably aren;t mature enough to be in a relationship with themselves let alone someone else.

Of course the age thing would be a complete other issue if the girl was 17.
Digital Thoth
I've always been the type to consider age last. If there's chemistry, then you're doing yourself an injustice ignoring it because of some self imposed structure of rigidity. I'm not saying it's a -bad- thing, just that it doesn't seem to be the right thing for the time. Also, the best thing about personal codes is they can be altered and adjusted as life and needs dictate.

In short, grab the bull by the horns, and go a couple rounds with Ali.
heval
I dont think that the gap is too long just live your life (my sister married a guy who is 5 years older than she is) Wink
urbanbuddha
Chronologically, I don't think the age gap is too much. My parents are actually 10 years apart in age, but they are very much compatible. Plus, think about when you're 30, she'll be 23. Or even when you're 47 and she's 40. When you look at it that way, the age gap does not seem as noticeable.

However, you have to think about maturity. I think that's probably the bigger issue. Because you're older, you have more experience. With experience comes wisdom. Maybe you're ready for a serious relationship, but she isn't. Such problems like that may arise and you should be prepared to deal with them. =P If you can get past that, I think there shouldn't be a problem.
vervaeke
Teenagers are a lot easier to pick up. I'm going to guess that's why you end up with them.
agustin
I dont think so... You know... if theres love... theres love°°° Nobody is too young or too old... THe Love is in the air!
Azmo
don't care about the age, is as someone said, just a number..

the question you need to answer yourself is.. where are you in your life now? You are 25, it's a big chance you wanna have kids someday in the next 2-3 years.. I mean, before you feel that you are getting "to old", and that could be kinda hard since it's a quite small chance that she wants the same, however, it's not impossible that she does.

I would say that it depens alot on where you are in your life, what you want from your life and what you are aiming for right now.

If you're not planing on having kids soon, or gettin married.. there should be no problem.. however, will she take off after school? move to a new city? if so, is it worth it?
bongoman
I think it depends on whether or not they are in College/University yet because 18 is usually that transition period between High School and Higher education, maturity on that sort of level makes a significant difference on how they look at the world. So if they have gone on to University or College they may see the world slightly different than if they were still in High School. Of course having said that it doesn't mean there aren't High School seniors that aren't years ahead in wisdom everyone grows up differently after all. So take some time to figuire out who they are about, and if you're confident that the relationship will work out then go with it.
ronb
It sounds reasonable, but it would be weird dating somebody that is still in high school, if you're in your mid 20's. But if she's finished school then I think it's fine.
linangan
I don't think there's anything wrong with dating a teen. There is that worry of how things will be once this person grows up, and it is perfectly understandable to worry about that. However, it is perfectly possible for anyone to change, so why single-out teens?

Needless to say, some teens are already grown-up, so if you think that this 18-year-old is mature enough, and stable enough not to go through a radical change once she starts going to university, and having a "real job" and other big-deal situations like that, there should be no reason you shouldn't give a try.
varon
I don't think there's anything wrong with dating her -- you sound like you're truly interested in her, and if she's mature enough I'm sure it's not that big of a deal.

It's hard to stereotype teens as "immature" for 25, and vice versa. It really depends on each person's qualities, so just go for it, play nice, and hope you have a good relationship that comes out of this. Smile
frozenhead
Try making out with her and you have nothing to loose if its worth it. Wink

There's no wrong with age gaps as long as you know to handle things to work out though I'm not saying its a sure thing. What I mean is situations like that will work with others and will NOT work with others.
amicidellatigre
jsut love her, but do not pretend she is older than her age
phil-k
I start dating my wife when I was 26 and she was 18. We are still happy together. we are married and we have two children.
Every teenager is specific. If you really like her, go ahead, but keep in mind that she is younger and you don't both have the same experience. There something you know that you'll be able to show her, but keep in mind that she doesn't absolutely want to live and behave as a woman of your age.
Phil-k
just-in
I think bit of age difference is good for the relationship... as one will have more maturity than the other will lead to less problems...

I mean the 18 will always think that 25 will definately know more than 18... and 25 is much experienced...

For example I can mention about my parents...

my father and mother have some 10 years difference between them...and they are very cool with each other till now...
agustin
no man.... love is love...
you may know that!
windrei
Ray Gravin wrote:
Quote:
All i can do now is to watching her change herself gradually but at the same time guiding her, do not let her change to a wrong way.


When I was 18 I started to date a girl that was only 16. We stayed together for almost 5 years and it was a really great relationship. After she turned 20 though she started to change in a bad way. We both change and it was this change that ultimatly destroyed the relationship. I guess this is the primary reason that I am so concerned about the difference in age. Of course I'm not looking for anything to intense with this new girl, I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't completly inapropriate for me to even consider.


um.... don't be so pessmistic, man.. maybe it's the last relationship that makes you feel insecure now and do not wanna date girls younger than 20... i have the same considerations now.. but just let it be, because i trust her will not change drastically and become a bad bad bad girl... after 24 i think, she will become stable and not like playing much anymore... you know what i mean ? maybe your ex girlfriend is regreting now... because she missed a good guy, all are due to herself..

anyway, try to begin this relationship. Give yourself a chance and trust her. Wish you 2 happy.

as you said, you look young, nobody feels you 2 are strange couple~~ ( me too, haha )
cybernie
I don't see anything wrong with the age gap. Dating and getting to know someone better is not a matter of age. Even if it goes or develop into a deep relationship, there's nothing wrong with it. I have seen and have known several people getting into a relationship with an age gap of even 20 years and there was no problem. They even have a better status of living together than with those of the same age.

I was told before that women are more matured-thinker than men. An 18-year old girl is more matured-thinker than an 18-year boy, so I guess on that basis, the maturity of the girl when it comes to looking things into a deeper sense just cope up rightly with your maturity when it comes to age.

Go on buddy! Life is good! Life is full if surprises! Who knows? Maybe it's worth it!
Tvis
My opinion is, if you think about long term relationship, don't take an 18 year old. In my opinion, 18 year ols, still want to explore relationships, and that involves seeing other people. Later on people can be more stable. And after having tried various relationships, there are looking for something permanent. Like starting a family. It could be that an 18 year old is thinking the same way. But I guess at that age, you need to try a lot to see what you really like. So, my advise would be, yeap, they will change a lot in the coming years. For the fun part an 18 year old could be a lot of fun. Tight bodies, have to learn a lot. But if you are looking for something deeper, search someone older.
jenice
I don't think there's anything wrong with it per se, but keep in mind that your world view is far different than hers. You're bound to be a bit more serious in a lot of areas.

Just... tread carefully here.
laurenrox
This is something I think I have a little common ground with you on. I just turned 18 this past April and my boyfriend is turning 25 this 4th of July. We met and started dating when I was only 17 (it's legal in this state, don't have a siezer). We've had our ups and downs like any couple and some of it did have to do with our difference in age, but in addition with living together too early. At this stage in his life he's concentrating on work, while I'm a bit more concentrated on fun, college, etc. As far as something like that goes, you'll just have to find a medium.

As for maturity, you'll have to spend time with her before you can judge her on that. Teenage adults (especially girls) can be drama queens. Fortunately, I passed that stage a few years ago. She might have as well. All I can tell you to do for that is to step away and let her have her space if need be (unless she's getting herself involved in something that's dangerous, ie drugs, then you should step in or get someone who's quailfied to deal with it).
Da Rossa
Ray Gravin wrote:
I told myself last year that I would never date a teenager again. There is just to much drama with teenage adults. People change so much in the 3 years between voting age and drinking age that it makes it hard to determine someone's true identity. I think this is a good rule to live by but now I have my doubts.

I've been talking to this girl that I meet at a vegan potluck for a few weeks now. She's a vegan, I'm a vegan. She's single, I'm single. It should be perfect shouldn't it? She's only 18 though : (

Is this age gap completely inappropriate?


Age is not everything. You may like her and vice versa, but your personalities, daily activities, habits and desires for the future are very likely to be divergent. Then you should measure the pros and cons of each thing.

She may be actually an adult, have a developed mind, be well-resolved and know what she wants about life. Then it's good for you: only her biological age is below yours. But the relationship can last forever. It's up to you two. Be honest with her. She may be cute, but others may think that you just want a 'fun' with her. Prove they're wrong.
isyan
if its me... id go for it... yeah!

although you said that your 25... but still its nice to try...

if she likes you and your the same with her... go on...


jah blez!
carlospro7
no i don't think it's inappropriate, I just think it's a little weird to date someone way younger or older than you. Well that's my opinion
yiemega
I think the person who his age is 18 years old is not too young for the person who he/she ages was 25 years old. Because 18 years old person is suitable for person under 30 years old that means the person who was 25 years old are suitable to for the person 18 years old. In Malaysia its no problem to marry the person who ages below than 19 years old because its okay to avoid random sex.

Because of that in malaysia the person who older or younger marry the person who younger or older is not weird because in this country its will happen because their family did not want their son have a sex relationship before their son marriage.
KronikSindrome
it depends on the person...

age is a number and not much else, life experience can make up for a lot.

I dated a 22 year old when I was 17, ended up being a 5 year long relationship. I'm 23 now and my boyfreind is 30, the age difference
(in my case) makes no difference at all.
Mannix
I personally feel that it's too young. ...They aren't really ready to settle down yet, and typically, they don't really know what it takes to live on their own. ...If you do that, especially if your serious about it, you might be stealing something from her, not to mention not meeting someone who's has had quite the same life-changing experiences as yourself.
Da Rossa
Mannix wrote:
I personally feel that it's too young. ...They aren't really ready to settle down yet, and typically, they don't really know what it takes to live on their own. ...If you do that, especially if your serious about it, you might be stealing something from her, not to mention not meeting someone who's has had quite the same life-changing experiences as yourself.


Mannix's got a point in there. A 18 yo young boy/girl really doesn't know what s/he wants for life. But, if it's only about a present relationship, I think there's no problem.
cropwell
i thnk age is nothin but a number,what really matters is if you are truly in love with the person and he loves you the same way back.
My mum got married to my dad when she was 18 and about she was a fresher in the university thats was 35 years ago and they'r very much still together and still loving to each other,i've seen modern day male and female getting married also and it works out really good.
THe bottom line is lOVE that whats really matters.
molif
do what your heart wants... if you want to love her, why not? good luck..
mawfia
I say there are nothing wrong with age gaps as long as you have a bridge to make up for it. If people are posting that you should or shouldn't both are wrong. We are not there and cannot truly know the situation. Just because it worked for one person does not mean it will work for you and vice versa.

When I was eigtheen I had no clue about how to handle a relationship and If I had gone out with a 25 year old I would have been all jacked up. But That was me. For her she may have everything together or enough stuff together that you two will make a good match. The least you can do is try and go from there. Certainly do not start planning your wedding but be open minded and give her a chance.
melissareich
I personally think age shouldn't matter... besides, love is love. If you love her, then don't worry about it. I do believe she is obviously less experienced and probably doesn't take things very seriously, but besides that... when it comes to love, I guess nothing should get in your way Very Happy
Liu
Do you feel enough for her that you would risk being the object of gossip amongst her friends and yours?

I have a friend whose 20 dating someone 30+ years of age. With this comparison I don't think your situation is so far off.

I'm betting the majority here will say it's fine to date someone with such a huge age gap for fear of being considered shallow, but lets face it, somewhere around you deep down inside cringes a bit when you hear two people in relationships with ages so far apart.
Japokskee
It dont matter...

Love is blind... It comes un expectedly.

Whoever you are. Whatever age you are. As long as you have the heart to love. then it is possible.

Very Happy

love u all Smile
asiadragonx2
ages doesnt matter when is love Smile go on Wink make a try
LeatherRose
Ray Gravin wrote:
I told myself last year that I would never date a teenager again. There is just to much drama with teenage adults. People change so much in the 3 years between voting age and drinking age that it makes it hard to determine someone's true identity. I think this is a good rule to live by but now I have my doubts.

I've been talking to this girl that I meet at a vegan potluck for a few weeks now. She's a vegan, I'm a vegan. She's single, I'm single. It should be perfect shouldn't it? She's only 18 though : (

Is this age gap completely inappropriate?


i'm 18...my fiance is 26...we live together in our own apartment. it doesn't bother him about me growning up and stuff. he sais he enjoys it because he gets to play apart of how i become because he is in my life and is influencing me. the only thing he sais that bothers him is the fact that i can seem childish at times and i get upset easily...but he still wouldn't leave me for the world. if you really like her and its legal of course..age shouldn't matter.
darrenpaul
18 is waaaaay to young! Put it this way, when you were 12, he was 19!

An 18 year old is just starting life, enjoying and a whole new field of education or work

A 25 year nearly has all that done, they are two totally different spectrums, and just don't work unfortunately
jenice
I suppose I might say that any relationship at that young age will not be the same as it is when you're older.

I was married at nineteen, and we're just not the same people now that we were at that younger age. My husband was older than me, but not by much. He was three years older, but it was enough of a difference even at that because he had been in the NAVY and changed quite a bit.
akshar
I think it shud be 16. At 16 you make maximum mistakes and that is when you learn maximum about yourself
Peterssidan
Of course there can be problems but thats allways a risk. She is adult as she is 18 years old so so take action before it's to late.
ReubenWilliams
Some 40 yr old are more immature than me, they say they could tell that the buddha was the buddha when he was only 6! Its not simply the years in your life that determine your character. True your experiences play a part and that is a turbulent time but if you get a strong feeling about her, go for it.
Sadow
Ray Gravin wrote:
I told myself last year that I would never date a teenager again. There is just to much drama with teenage adults. People change so much in the 3 years between voting age and drinking age that it makes it hard to determine someone's true identity. I think this is a good rule to live by but now I have my doubts.

I've been talking to this girl that I meet at a vegan potluck for a few weeks now. She's a vegan, I'm a vegan. She's single, I'm single. It should be perfect shouldn't it? She's only 18 though : (

Is this age gap completely inappropriate?


Sometimes people of this age do not change that much and sometimes people change a lot when they're in their mid twenties, so... What I'm saying you can't prevent heart aches. Just follow your heart, but never forget to use your head either. I'm serious, Ray.
LeatherRose
darrenpaul wrote:
18 is waaaaay to young! Put it this way, when you were 12, he was 19!

An 18 year old is just starting life, enjoying and a whole new field of education or work

A 25 year nearly has all that done, they are two totally different spectrums, and just don't work unfortunately


yeah ok, and when he will be and when she is 22 he will be 29. when she is 30 he will be 37.
don't look at it in such a negitive way, they didn't even know eachother then. you can't give up a chance on love...you may never find it again.

and that is such bull! me and my fiance are perfect together, i have a great job and so does he, and he are both going to college with eachother. just because your a different age doesn't make you totally uncompatable people.
what rubbish. Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad
mawfia
Some more food for thought for anyone who is christian. Sarah was ten years younger than Abraham. There are even more extreme cases. I am sure some will say that the times have changed and there is no need for such extremes...similar to medieval times.

What are everyone elses thoughts?
jmlworld
It's easy, you can have her since you love her, never hesitate aba' her age, coz, people are different from brain not age!
Related topics
Paying someone who is good with photoshop or one like it.
PHP image
What annoys you
Will pay 25 frih$ to fix SMF & phpBB themes
Server 2 weirdness...
Have people become too selfish???
BMI
Ban on Smoking
wat do ppl have against islam???
Offering custom textures for 3D games (DISCOUNT)
Email al acbar los Points
a think test
i'm tryin to get bigger....
Prime Numbers and 2012 Danger Latitudes
Reply to topic    Frihost Forum Index -> Lifestyle and News -> Relationships

FRIHOST HOME | FAQ | TOS | ABOUT US | CONTACT US | SITE MAP
© 2005-2011 Frihost, forums powered by phpBB.