to play hard to get: is this ok?

pikameowmeow15

hey, my name is Aurora. im 16 and im a really open person. haha i have 2 anxiety disorders and depression, but i am on medication and im feeling better. the thing is, ever since i was little (when or when not this depression was going on i have no idea), i've had a really low self-esteem. it bugs me, because everyone tells me im so pretty and stuff and nice and smart and blah blah blah, but its just that i dont feel like it. i guess it feels like bulimia for the mind. i see all these things that dont really exist. (or so i think).

to add to this confusion, i really like guys. lol ya i know. but i dont know how to act around them. i guess the female species has always been my favorite or something, i dont know. but all my friends are girls anyhow.

since i am an open person (in this context, meaning i will tell u my whole life story if u ask) and i like to make friends, sometimes too easily, its hard for me not to talk with a guy i like with out spillin my guts. or...in worse cases, acting totally uninterested by being shy and stuff. oh, the benefits of low self esteem!

advice i need: how to play hard to get! haha watch out! here comes the new, suave, debonair me!!

Citizen Kane

Hmmm a very rare question and if I didn't know the reason behind it I probably wouldn't give the awnser.

How to play hard to get?! This totally depends on what you would call hard to get.

First of all there is hard to get in direct contact, face to face if you would like. Lay your eyes on a guy, but the moment he notices you, start chatting with a girlfriend. Guys tend to find this a challenge.

Then there is the hard to get over a longer period whilst being in contact with a guy. Mayhaps you have already had a date, or perhaps you have exchanged bodyfluids mouth to mouth (or even below the belt, as we call it in holland). The guy finds you attractive but playing hard to get could test his integrity and sincerity. You could do this by letting him make all the arrangements for meeting up, occasionally canceling a date, but still go out with him on other ocasions. Don't tell him too much about your feelings and certainly not about your intentions. Keep them a little hidden or out of sight. Mysterious if you would like. For a change, DON'T tell the story of your life, but keep it casual. DO listen to the guy (if you want it to work out) but keep certain details for later on in the (love)game.

Hope this helps!!

pikameowmeow15

xkobram

Nice to see the differences between men and women (or should i write: women or men? Very Happy

). At Citizens post it clearly visible: Guy want to be little bit conqueror. If you make it too easy to him, he is confused and he may be not longer interested. I think, most guys dont feel it this way beacause they are, ehm, "pigs" in all age. For good relationship is needed too a bit of game, conquering, not being "straight." Good start is basement of good relationship, love or finding mystery is building material.

But dont make it too hard to him, especialy at places, 4 ex. partys, where he can find other girls making it easy. But if he is little interested in you, you will have time to find out where the right difficulty should be set.

And also when meeting new guy, dont skip the "friends" phase. Later you would have problems with comunication.

At party (this is only example, i dont talk about concrete situation):
WRONG order:
1) dance
2) kiss
3) talk

RIGHT order should be:
1 -2) talk or dance
3) kiss

I think its better to first talk then kiss
(mine point of view)

blue77

For women is ok to play hard to get. It's normal in the begining of relationships with some gay and maybe after that. But you have to know where and how to stop with this game.

For man I have to say that I realy hate when man is playing this role. It's not interesting for me and only thing I can do is to escape.

Bofia

i think you just need to learn how to flirt effectively without getting all nervous or whatever

Azmo

Well, something that makes a guy like me go nuts (crazy) is this hard to get part.. (ended up well tho)

(after u made contact)

Late night calls, when he is alone.. just chat about anything.. keep it to a normal conversation, joke, not a stuiped joke, but a strange joke.. it should sound as a demand... a hint.. I got this after like 2 days of chatting.. "so will you kiss me tomorrow @ school?" and I got lika "ehm, waah... and she goes "infront of all of my friends, just walk up to me and kiss me" man I was nervous.. what should I answer etc.. it was a hint to me.. but she wasnt serious about that "just walk up to me....."

In school she just gave me secret smiles, eye contact.. not a single word.. always with her friends.. frustrating.. and then again.. late night calls..

But after a wile we talked more and more @ school, she left her friends for me shorter moments..

and after a wile, when I threw a party at work.. (a water palace) well ye.. it was fun Very Happy

and after that it all went on.. got sms like "get out of the classroom I wanna make out" ...

It was a very long and frustrating (but fun) way to get there.. rly hard to catch.. but man it was worth it!