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Getting back with ex's





Srs2388
How many of you guys get back with ex's or would concider it?
after a relationship is over... do you ever think you will get back with the person at all, or is it over for good?
Citizen Kane
Hmmm,... this might JUST be something for me...

I had a couple of relationships. A while ago I had a GF which was near-borderline. At that time I couldn't determine what she was doing to mewith her behaviour, so we tried it once, we broke up and then we tried again. For almost a year we were together. But after a while I realised she was not good for me and I litterally grabbed all of my courage to break up with her.

After another year or two, I had a girlfriend which, at one point, cheated on me. She then left me for another, but because she was the only one I knew where we lived, I totally got hung up on her and desperately wanted her back. We've been on and off for four times and each time was shorter and worse than before. in the meantime I had a venerial desease from her as well as all the heartbreakings you can ever imagine. In between I also had another girlfriend, but that didn't work out because whe were both having a tough time settling ourselves and our lives the way we liked them.

After a lot of grief and yet another GF with which things also didn't work because of differences in social classes I met the GF I had inbetween my former GF. We got along very nice and now we're together for almost a year. And I can't imagine being happier.

So getting back to an ex could be for better or for worse. It all depends on who the ex is, who you are at that point of your life and what you and the ex want from a relationship.
HoboPelican
Citizen Kane wrote:
Hmmm,... this might JUST be something for me...
....
So getting back to an ex could be for better or for worse. It all depends on who the ex is, who you are at that point of your life and what you and the ex want from a relationship.

True, True....

Let me just say that I had 3 weddings and 2 wives. Smile Yep, got back together with the first one after the divorce. In my case (and I only speak for myself), it was the stupidest thing I have ever done. I assumed she had changed, but that was not the case. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that everything that was wrong the fist time was exactly the same the second. In fact, both marriages lasted almost exactly 5 years.

Going back might work, but it all depends on why you broke up and what has changed since then....
Citizen Kane
HoboPelican wrote:
True, True....

Let me just say that I had 3 weddings and 2 wives. Smile Yep, got back together with the first one after the divorce. In my case (and I only speak for myself), it was the stupidest thing I have ever done. I assumed she had changed, but that was not the case. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that everything that was wrong the fist time was exactly the same the second. In fact, both marriages lasted almost exactly 5 years.

Going back might work, but it all depends on why you broke up and what has changed since then....


Oh man, this is so recognisable... Although I havent been married and the relationships lasted not as long. I thought I was the only one who had been in that situation!!

For me it went wrong during the "assuming-part"... I also assumed that people could change and learn from things. Some people do, but most don't. I learned a lot from the people who couldn't and I enjoy the people who did.

Cost me 6 years of my stupid little life. But of course thats nothing compared to the 15 Hobo gave up. Shocked
HoboPelican
Citizen Kane wrote:
... But of course thats nothing compared to the 15 Hobo gave up. Shocked


Actually, it was ONLY 10 years. The third marriage is my present wife.Smile And I tell myself it wasn't a total waste....My current wife is 12 years younger than me. I tell myself that the first wife was just keeping me off the street until my current wife was legal! Laughing

This marriage makes it all worthwhile, though. We've been together 17 years and I've never been happier.
ThornsOfSorrow
I would NEVER start dating an ex-boyfriend again. I've never done it in the past, and I won't in the future. Basically, my view on it is that if it didn't work out the first time, then it won't work the second. Of course people change, but there are very few people who go through such radical changes that a failed relationship can be revived without any problems.
altikris
People change through the years. When you first went out with them, you obviously saw something in them that you liked.

Depending on how the relationship ended, thats how you know if you should venture back to an ex.

If the relationship ended badly, stay far away. If the relationship ended for different reasons, it all depends. People move on and change into completely different personalities.

Do your homework on why you would consider getting back with them, and remember that there are always other people in the world that could make you happy that you haven't spent time with yet.
Bofia
its tempting but for the most part it should be a rule not to get back with ex's
Chris24
There is nothing wrong with getting back with exe's. As long as you learned what went wrong the first time and both of you agree to work on those problems to make things better this time. Also, do NOT ask about what they did or who they saw or dated when you were apart. It is not your business and will only make things worse.

Enjoy the time you now have together, and get to know each other again as I am sure you both have changed in some ways. Good luck
varon
Nah, not for me. When I end a relationship, it's really over... My philosophy is, when I a relationship ends, it's meant for it to end, and I have to move on. And it usually happens that my relationships are "ladder-ized" -- the next one to come is better than the last, as if I'm ascending the steps in a ladder. Smile

But for others, breaking up merely means taking a break from the continuity of their entire love story -- which is a really, really sweet thought. (Think "The Notebook" for instance. Very Happy) It just is different for everybody. Smile
Srs2388
hmmm I can see what you mean... I did it though Smile
I hope the same thing doesn't happen again Confused
arjay
Very Happy I will try to echo my humble opinion this way - partners won’t need to be going back at each other after a break-up if both have done their parts well during the relationship. You will only need a second chance if you think you missed the chance to do something good to make the relationship worked.

In yourstruly’s case, I try to make all possible efforts to make a relationship work – that most of the time, the act goes beyond the acceptable normal level of tolerance. So whenever I decide to call for a break-up, I am sure with myself that I have done almost ALL that is possible to save the relationship, yet it must end to avoid more ‘collateral’ damages. Pray

Sometimes we hate to do such very touch and sad decision, but we must… to keep one’s sanity. So, after a lot of self-sacrifices, self-evaluations, meditations, and a lot of keeping our faith, when I say; ‘It’s over.’, it is really over. And that gives a lot of space for respect to both partners. A lot of lessons learned also. Think

So if you think that you have done your best during your previous relationship yet it failed, there is nil assurance that it will be better the second time around. But, if it is the other way around and you think that you could have done better yet did not do it during the previous relationship, then you should try a second time because there is always the saying that; “love is lovelier the second time around’. Very Happy

Finally, when you go for the second time, leave all the troubles behind, forgiveness must be unconditional, and move on as better and renewed partners. Very Happy

The opinion stated above is best understood under the melody of one nice song about love and forgiveness entitled ‘The Past’ originally sang by Rey Parker Jr, but beautifully revived by Jed Madela. Angel Some of it’s words include …
Quote:

I was wrong when i hurt you
But did you have to hurt me too
Did you think revenge will make it better?
I don't care about the past
I just want our love to last
There's a way to bring us back together

I must forgive you
You must forgive me too
If we wanna try to put things back
the way they used to be
'cause there's no sense in going over and over
The same things as before
So let's not bring the past up anymore

So, now, is love lovelier the second time around? Maybe. I still need to experience it. But, if we can make it the first time, I guess it could be loveliest. Applause
bonestorm74
Can be a bad idea but I guess it depends on the situation. No reason why it can't work.
Usborne_Books
I have gone back to an ex. And yet once again it ended.

Would I consider going back to him even now - yes I would.

It is hard for the heart to let go of something it has heal onto for so long.
At least it is for me.

But there are exceptions to every rule, right?
seanooi
I got back with my ex once.
I thought that it would be different but sadly it wasn't.
If you were to ask me a few years ago, I would have to say yes.
But now, since i'm in a steady and happy relationship already, I would definitely say no.
Rengidar
I think it really depends on situation.

I broke up with the girlfriend I am now happy together but I needed just one evening to understand that it was a terrible mistake. We had just drifted apart and weren't talking very much anymore and basically we both understood it won't last long anymore. But when it actually happened I (or may I say we both) realized that this wasn't what we wanted. When we got back together we both really changed. And now everything is just great.

So I would say you have to look at each different situation and see what is the best for you and your ex.
rheanna
what comes around goes around.. Twisted Evil only 10x fold not 3..ask my x muhahaha


My favorite one
He got zapped by lighting through the computer and that's how he met his d@mn chick.......

His Girl dumps him and pulls the same thing he did with me. MUHAHAA He wasn't thriled about that. So I gloated and said "Now know you know I feel" MF

Then while camping with his chick he almost chopped his finger off with an axe

2 Dui's

Bench warrant for his arrest

2 Motorcycle accidents

Tried to commit suicide * but had to call me first and I said * What are you waiting for..Don't miss!!!!!!! What'd he do he missed.. GRR

Kicked out of my house Cool the legal way

**Don't piss me off cause I'll put a hex on you... Twisted Evil Laughing Wink
**Must be the black cat.. That's when it all started. Laughing
glenn83e
Srs2388 wrote:
How many of you guys get back with ex's or would concider it?
after a relationship is over... do you ever think you will get back with the person at all, or is it over for good?


It really all depends on the situation. If the relationship eneded on a bad note then well no. but if the relationship eneded on good terms there might still be a spark.

I have seen relationships last for years and then end, and then about a year or so later they meet up at a party or something and then start falling for eachother again. Remembering the good times that they had together.

It happened to me once. I was with someone back in Jr High, we broke up and got back together before our senior prom. Again it never really worked since we both had to go our seperate ways after high school but that is just an example that it can happen.
leslie.sweets
well with me they are ex's for a reason ;
But i agree with Glenn when saying that is you broke up on good terms that it could bring up sparks but remember they are ex's for a reason so i would have to realy consider it Wink but that is my point of view
I am Happy with the person i am with and in my point will never be an ex Wink
Chris24
Dang rheanna would hate to piss you off.... Wink
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