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Quarrels/bickering - till how long?

Just how many quarrels, arguments does it take before you know both of you were never meant to be with each other?

My bro says you only fight with those whom you love. So does endless bickering profess undying love?
if you love each other, no matter how much you figh it wont matter. Me and my girl fight almost evryday.

We are getting married December now Smile
Captain Fertile
I have known one couple (just one) who I have NEVER known to argue. That couple is now divorced, the front they put on for the rest of the world was a sham!

I have known a lot of couple who fight and bicker a lot but they love each other and would never be apart.

I argue with my wife, sometimes the arguments are quite big (although the subject of the argument is always pretty petty).

Fighting about petty things is fine, it spices up the relationship a bit too. The important thing is to be soild and tight when it comes to the important things. Then you should be in each others corner and you should both know it.

If you aren't there for each other and solid for the important things (I mean the IMPORTANT) things then that is a problem - not fighting over everything else, the petty stuff. Smile
I have always been thinking about this. I guess even if the word 'fighting' or 'quarreling' may be universal words, they tend to mean different things to different people/couples. I used to talk to people who tell me that they quarrel a lot but when I probe further, its not even a quarrel as how I would define it. I mean quarrel would be like shouting at each other sometimes with abusive words but other people may experience 'soft quarrel' or 'silent quarrel' where one partner simply ignores the other for a specific period of time.

Now as for fighting equals professing love, I think thats a misguided believe. Some of us try to justify either to ourselves or to other people that we are engaging in a healthy relationship by quarreling etc which may not necessary be the case. A small dose of bickering is fine I think but as frequency increases it would most likely lead to divorce or break up rather than love.
So a quarrel daily may be normal?
If you fight everyday, you will have your feelings about it.
Check your feelings and check out if it's worth the fights every day. I read some doubts in your words about your friend. Maybe you both should take some time off. You know, don't see each other for like a month or so. Afterwards you can decide if you are right for each other.
Also you should ask yourself if the two of you are compatible. Do you share hobbies? What is it that you fight about? Maybe you both fight because you are incompatible. Maybe love just ain't enough.
I know this doesn't make your life much easier, sorry. Just think about it all very carefully and give it some time.
its not exist any normal quarrel per day. sometime you are in a downswing and you argue at fast you look at each shoder. sometime you don't argue for a week. But i think that you must argue to keep the relationship alive. Often you argue because you have feeling and care about each shouder. But try to listen and keep calm and put the ego outside the relationship it will go well
Depends on the degree and intensity of the quarreling as well as the context. Are you just bickering over tiny things and quickly making up? Are you bickering over tiny things and holding grudges? Or are you constantly full out fighting and screaming at each other over something serious?

I don't think it's enough to just look at how much you are quarreling and other factors need to be considered. However, the most important thing is how you both deal with quarreling. If the both of you can understand that bickering is just normal and part of a relationship, you should be fine.

There's also other ways to express your displeasure and it might be better if you two sit down and just talk things over calmly.
It depends on how you argue. I prefer to discuss things rather to argue.
When you "discuss" things, you focus on the issue at hand, and leave out lashing out about the personality traits of the other person. I had to work very hard for my husband to teach him how to argue his point. The key is to get passionate about your point but not angry.

If you are angry, many people can be very mean when screaming and yelling at each other or withdraw and not argue at all. Neither of these can be good for the relationship, in my opinion, though if it happens occassionaly make up can be great.

My parents have argued every day for the last 40 years. They have a very stressful marriage, very uncomfortable. They are together for their own reasons, they love each other, but I would not call their life much enjoyable. The logevity of the relationship does not necessarly mean quality of life!
I think it does sometimes depend on the level of fighting and what the arguement is about, but as i see it if your meant to be together- as in, you both believe it, you should remember nothing is all roses all the time, and sometime along the way one of you is gonna want out, but it will work out if you fight for it.

It's a tricky question, because sometimes it depends on the couple i guess Razz
Me and hubby never ever argued about anything... Shocked
(maybe it's because I cant argue in english, i get all mundle up and cant say anything that make sens...)

We do talk a lot, calmly, I explain my point of view he explain his and we compromise or resolve the issue,but they are rares, I know him inside out and vice versa.
we do laught a lot too...
Seriously we just dont Shocked
All relationships work differently.
I think it matters more what you are fighting about than if you are fighting or not!
If your fighting about your deepest belief's that you know will never change for either of you, then what is the point in having a relationship with that person?
If your fighting about stupid things like who is going to do the dishes then who cares? It depends how tiring it all is and if you can cope with it.
My partner and I rarely fight and never really have, we have arguments about stupid things sometimes but mostly laugh half way through.
I think that what most of you are talking about is communication. Bickering about little things that bug you is normal, especially with someone you care about. It allows you to get the little things out in the open so the don't mothball and turn into larger problems. I'm talking about stupid little things that annoy us all, like finding out she snores when she sleeps on her back (just get her to roll over) or if he picks his teeth at the dinner table (just throw something at him, preferably something soft like a napkin) and get over it. Very Happy
Bickering, in my opinion is normally the manifestation of bigger issues that are burning to come out, but don't until it is too late..

I have been in relationships where bickering was prevalent and it wasn't until I sat down and looked at why we were bickering I realised there were bigger problems there.

It is not only in relationships that this is the case, this can be with friends and family.

My "advice" to anyone bickering would be to sit down with them and find / discuss the bigger picture and if it is something that can be worked out : do it. If not : move on
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