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Parents stepparents and stepchildren-the infernal triangle





Captain Fertile
I realise that the majority of the posters here are younger than me but I wondered if anyone out there is in the same position as I find myself in (or more accuralty happily placed myself in) - that is the position of being a stepparent. If not I am still eager to hear from anyone able to talk from the position of a stepchild.

I have three kids, two of which are stepchildren and I wondered if anyone here has gone through he same trials as I have (or indeed the same trials as they have).

It is not very easy especially when there is resistance to accept fully their place in the stepfamily.

The genetic father and more importantly the genetic paternal grandparents are on the scene and really do make things a lot more difficult than they need be.

Yes there are two sides to every story but I have done everything possible to make the changes as smooth as possible over the last six years for the child in question.

But outside forces have done all they can to complicate things resulting in an inability for him to grasp his role in our family and a great deal of confusion for him as a result - yet the grandparents see their games as ways to score points on the 'love' scale.

Does this scenario sound familiar to you personally? If so I would love to hear from you.

The crazy thing is, if they could accept that he has another family just as we have accepted that they too are his family there would not be so many problems.

That is clearly not going to happen so we are looking at a damage limitation exercise. Not allowing him to see his father is not an option because it is at a stage where doing this would be punishment for the child and that is simply not fair )he is only 9 years old).

Any advise from another stepparents or stepchildren due to the fact you appreciate what is going on and are not simply hypothesizing would ne most useful.

It is difficult to imagine the complex feelings and issues this causes unless you have experienced it first-hand.

Thanks
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