Okay first of all this is not a tip kind of thing I need help. You see I have this coupon for TCBY(an ice-cream shop) and its free for you to take your sweetheart but only on Valentines Day. I want to ask Eric the guy i like but I don't have the guts. Everyone says (by everyone i mean my friends) he likes me because he supposedly "Hates my guts" but whenever he looks at me in the hallway it seems as if 'pure love' is squirting out his ears. Weird expression i know but... Does anyone have tips? I would love it if you helped.
I'm not sure it's a good ideas for you to ask him out on Valentines. Why?
Cause if he said no or made some kinda hurtful comment it could mess you up for many Valentines days to come.
If you like him, don't wait for an occasion to tell him. Tell him after.
Now why do you suppose he "hates your guts"???
I'd say more but the information you gave is not enough for me to draw more conclusions.
I wish you the bes tho.
Avoid the Valentines day. In an ordinary day, simply start a conversation and in the middle of it you ask him out. Not too simple to explain, but it's VERY simple to do. I personally like women that take attitude.
Just ask pretty casually. Don't make too big a deal outta it, because then he'll make a big deal out of it. If he wants to decline, then a casual asking will make it a lot easier on him. Afterall, you don't want him going out with you just because he's too scared to say no.
I think it's kinda sweet to ask him out on Valentines day. You can even just ask if he wants to be your Valentine - it sorta doesn't imply and further strings attatched and you can always take it from there.
So you can go eat your ice cream with him, enjoy each other's company and just find out if you're both willing to commit to each other, so to speak.
Spaz-o:That sounds about right. I'm just worried about him laughing at me and saying 'Uh no way.' afterall im not the prettiest person in the world. :/
DaRossa: Hmm, well he's kind of the football kind of person he's really popular so i can see what you are going at. I don't think he would like someone asking him out on Vday.
Nikki:Yes, it could hurt me. Really badly but then again what if he said yes? I like risks but i'm not sure i could take that one.He told me in 4th grade of course that was a VERY long time ago but whos to say he has changed? He might still hate my guts when were seniors in high school (which i am a senior in high school so yes.) thanks nikki
I dont have a clue what to do!!ahhh!
Like I said. Do not do it in VDay.
Jus tstrike up a conversation and pretty soon you guys will build a relationship.
|Nae_splash wrote: |
|Okay first of all this is not a tip kind of thing I need help. You see I have this coupon for TCBY(an ice-cream shop) and its free for you to take your sweetheart but only on Valentines Day. I want to ask Eric the guy i like but I don't have the guts. Everyone says (by everyone i mean my friends) he likes me because he supposedly "Hates my guts" but whenever he looks at me in the hallway it seems as if 'pure love' is squirting out his ears. Weird expression i know but... Does anyone have tips? I would love it if you helped. |
Sincere, tough and courageous post. One of the winning attitudes in life and relationships.
I don’t know you personally Nae_splash but your post gives a good glance of your inner personality hence, I hope I can give my humble opinion how to make things easy for you, success or failure. If you can browse at some of my previous posts, it will help a lot. My experiences in different kinds of approach from inviting girls who succeeded ( I may be discriminating sometimes but, if the girl succeeds, it adds to the excitement very well. It is a deed more than a promise.) will be the plus factor in this post - while it tries to make some sense in your situation now.
Let’s simply put it this way. Like in any uncertain situation, there is no such thing as 100% assurance that any act (invitation) from you will produce positive result But, absolutely, there are always chances and these chances increase by how well you know eachother - and it is only you who can best evaluate that.
This post can only aim to maximize the chances of success while minimizing the negative effect(s) of failure. No guts, no glory. But that does mean you need to be bolder more than needed. Just making your point across him properly will be enough. Make everything as normal as possible. No pressure. No demands. No commands. No threats. No expectations. How? Try to get a casual moment with him and use these lines as example to pursue the invitation theme: ‘Ei, Erick, I’m fortunate enough to have this TCBY coupon which entitles two for a FREE ice-cream treat this Valentine’s Day. I would like to know if you are available on that day and interested to come with me since I am more comfortable to be going along with someone I know well like you. If you are not sure about your schedule now, then I can wait for your call and if I don’t receive any call from you by ___ (put your time frame here), that means your schedule won’t accommodate the occasion. In any manner, I hope that you can come, but I will also understand if you can’t make it due to your other commitments. Take this as an invitation for a clean fun which i know you also deserve. Happy Valentine’s day in advance.’
If no calls from him within the time frame, make a call yourself and ask him if he remembers your previous conversation. Make the call sound more caring and concern than demanding ... like starting it with: ‘Hi, eric, I am bit worried you haven’t called. I just want to know whether you are in fine health and i would also like to ask you if you still remember our previous conversation...’ etc. (Sometimes, good intention needs follow-up to make it best.)
If you examine the above invitation closely, you will observe that it will always lead to a win-win situation, no matter what his reply would be. Why? If he replies negatively, then you know where you stand. While you make it clear that you are also concern about his welfare (unselfishness will always touch a guy’s heart), this will give the feeling (at the back of his mind) that any rejection from him will be his loss not yours. What will be his loss? He will miss the chance of good relationship with a good person in the near future either as good friends or lovers. While in your case, you WON’T lose anything (but ONLY the cost of phone call and the chance of using the TCBY with him. A smile will be enough to claim your ‘prize’). Over and above, if his tone is sincere, you need to understand him to seal the 'prize'.
If he accepts your invitation, then continue the good gesture of being true to yourself and to him. Let him experience the good side of you which he may have not noticed because he is more concern about ‘hating your guts’. Let him experience that even just on Valentine’s Day.
Now, here is a bonus winning: If he responds in a way that hurts you emotionally, then you know that he does NOT deserve your attention, and that will give you peace of mind and heart for the rest of your life.
Goodluck always Nae_splash and Happy Valentine’s day to you, too, from all of us here in Frihost forum.
|Nerdlings wrote: |
|Jus tstrike up a conversation and pretty soon you guys will build a relationship. |
I wish it was that simple. It's necessary more than a good talk.
Thank you all. But I have decided that since I haven't had a real conversation with Eric since the fourth grade sadly I should get to know him. And then hopefully he will grow to like me more. So from 'hate my guts' to 'like my guts' to 'love my guts'. Arjay what you said seems simple. But he can laugh at me. And then tell his friends. And that would really hurt me emotionally wise. I feel that if he wants me to go with him on a date he will ask me. You're right no guts no glory but i don't have the guts so im not worthy of they glory.
It is hard to tell you what to do but that he said he hated you when you were children doesn't mean he hates you now. If he do then he is probably still like a child, it doesn't seem like he has any reason to hate you so if he does then he is an idiot.
Did he have any reason to hate you back then?
Maybe the thing he said about hating you could really be something you two could make fun of now. Maybe after some casual conversation you can bring this up and tell him you are still trying to figure out a way to get even with him (remember to smile).
If he likes you or not is another thing but you should have the guts to try and talk with him. If you don't know the guy then don't ask him out unless it just comes very natural in a conversation with him.
About your looks just do the best to look nice. make your hair nice and stuff and I bet you can be attractive.
be yourself.. don try to be somebody else.. either for guys or gals, DON EVER BE SOMEBODY ELSE.. be yourself..
|Nae_splash wrote: |
|Thank you all. But I have decided that since I haven't had a real conversation with Eric since the fourth grade sadly I should get to know him. And then hopefully he will grow to like me more. So from 'hate my guts' to 'like my guts' to 'love my guts'. Arjay what you said seems simple. But he can laugh at me. And then tell his friends. And that would really hurt me emotionally wise. I feel that if he wants me to go with him on a date he will ask me. You're right no guts no glory but i don't have the guts so im not worthy of they glory. |
My previous post above tried to be very focused on your original topic of: ‘How to ask out a guy’. Now, I am smiling when you changed your mind and would like to change the topic to: ‘How to make a man ask me out’. Due to your change of mind, I guess it will be appropriate to make a separate topic for that. That will avoid the confusion on which topic the succeeding threads should carry.
I have said that because, although the change in word construction of the topic seems minimal, the focus of the subject person dramatically changed – the previous topic talks about you (and your wish to invite him) while the new topic will talk about him (and his possible motivations to ‘ask you to go out with him on a date’) so, understandably, there is a big difference between the two topics.
Due to this change in the focus of subject person (from you to him), there will be variation in the approach and solution and the question of how motivated a guy to make that move will become very subjective (ex. cause and effect, action and reaction, etc). So, I prefer to make my appropriate post to the new topic thread that you may initiate.
For the meantime, let me give you examples of the immediate differences between the two situations:-
First, the TCBY coupon is with you and not with him. Who got the coupon for the free threat has all the reasons to do the invitation WITHOUT the fear of making it a big issue by the invitee. Give the young guy Eric the chance to grow-up. Past is past. Forgive, forget and move on. The dreaded laughters may turn into admiration.
Second, let us accept it, you like him maybe more than he likes you and it is always natural that who has the greater interest must do the first move regardless of gender. Keep-up with the times, girls now have equal rights (yes, not mores, tradition, belief, religion, etc. that are sometimes counterproductive and regressive in nature) with guys in giving and getting attention, including making the first move. Just believe in yourself and those worries of yours will diminish and fade one by one.
I respect your opinion and idea, including the contradictions, because I know that you are still young. But as young as you are, you must assert your existence, even in a relationship. The fact that you opened-up this topic, is already a significant move toward that direction and I would like that this post will carry your hope along the way.
No matter how we try to play safe with our emotion, we will always need our sad experiences for us to grow. So, be thankful for them instead. No matter how contradicting your ideas now, you will always need to view both sides to come to a good conclusion. That is how beautiful life is. Though we have our choices, we still don’t know what will happen – and that keeps the excitement of living.
But, I need to quote, ‘in order for one to achieve all that is possible, one must attempt the impossible’. Hopefully, that adds to the guts in you that you just simply refuse to acknowledge. Acknowledge it and next comes the glory in your life.
For your other doubts, reread your previous posts above, taking particular attention to your reply to the post of Nikki like … ‘Yes, it could hurt me. Really badly but then again what if he said yes?’. Those are your words, and I should say they are right and the chance will always be with those who go for it. By the way, yeah you are right, how about if Eric feels the same way as poster Vervaeke? Lol. Not so distant probability.
Why the efforts to make this post? I have seen a lot of younger girls suffered a lot of insecurities and inferiority complex with me. But when they realized their potentials, they became my good friends and to others. Along those experiences are their personal reflections that, if they have not tried it, how will they know that there is a beautiful relationship that is waiting to bloom anytime?
Goodluck and yourstruly hopes that the quality posts in this Frihost forum inspire us all to value our existence and quality thus may guide us to excel in the other areas of our lives including education and relationships.
While this post goes beyond Eric, you did have a good idea about developing natural friendly relationship first. As we always say, take it easy with your heart. At your age now, friends last longer than lovers.
Nae_splash, have a memorable Valentine with (a) deserving friend(s). Throw some greetings to your parents, too.
Thanks for giving me space and time in this thread.
Sokken: well when we were kids he had a reason to dislike me but i don't think it would be a reason to hate me. I kicked him in the fourth grade. A lot. I was weird when i was little and that was my way of showing him that i liked him. It didn't work. Maybe we could laugh about it. It's past v day now and i went to church and got to talking with an old friend of mine. Maybe not too old but he's always been known as a trouble maker. So i got to spend time with a friend on V day.
Arjay:wowow that was a longg post. haha. I like him but i can't picture saying i love you to him he's not the one. I can tell, he's jsut another crush. heh. I guess it just lasted a long time. Maybe some other time around eh? I'm sorry to waste your time you guys. I think i should lay off the dating. I'm so young I should just make friends when im in college i should pick it up maybe.
it is depends on what kind of guy you wanna ask. for those sexual mental guy, you just need to become sexy, then i'm sure they will ask u out. but if you want to ask those honest or "good boy", then if they don't have girl friend, they are easily to be tackle. guys like girls invitation and they are hardly to reject because guys like to be love by girls. my clue is just simply ask.
I don't think there is a bad way to ask a guy out - as long as you aren't flippant about it.
There is nothing more flattering and sure to fill your soul with joy than to know a lady likes you enough to ask you out.
It should work this way for men too but it seems mcuh more the norm form men to ask women out.
When I lady asked me out it always made me smile and I was always nice and polite to her even if it was a no. I always made it sound like it was a reluctant no.
Men should remeber this, its nice to be nice!
Valentine's is over rated. Theres no time like now. You might risk losing him for someone later.
Pick your coupon - and just palin tell him "I want to spend this coupon on you" and the rest its your charm in the ice cream shop.
Feel love is not an think what the most people know; sometimes is confused whit passion, but the true love is more than that.
In that way say goodbye to somebody is really hard, because you have to leave your fellings out for him or her to do it. In that way the most hard is when maybe you can be in love; but you have to say goodbye by another reason (work, way to be, or problems).
In that way the goodbye is really hard; and maybe you never say it.
Captain Fertile wrote
There is nothing more flattering and sure to fill your soul with joy than to know a lady likes you enough to ask you out.
I'm not so sure about that... I'm not a guy or anything but I do know some guys who have been embarrased because an "Ugly" girl asked them out. What is with the labels anyway? Like ugly and pretty etc. Sorry off topic but..
guys are suckers for girls.
He Tom... ice cream tonight? Come pick me up around 730?
Leave coupon in his locker with your name and number on it.
Give him a look and a smile, he will ask you out then save your coupon to share with the girls to talk about your date afterwards
You don't have to wait to express your love towards him...
When you meet him the next time... start the converstation this way...
You : Hey eric... why did you do this to me?
Eric: What ? ... I don't get you..
You: Why did you do this to me?
Eric: What did I do to you... ?
You: Sorry.. will meet you later...
just leave that place and go away from him...
as you said if he has some feelings towards you... he'll not sleep for next 2 days and will be searching for you...
He'll come searching for you and ask you..
Eric: What did you say that day?
You: What? ... nothing (with a lovely smile)
Eric: You said something... but I didn't get it clear...
You: Nothing ... I had gone mad ...
Eric: You are trying to hide something...
You: No... I said... You disturb me a lot..
Eric: Whats wrong with you ... say something clearly...I can't understand anything..
You: now a days I am always thinking about you... and u disturb me a lot
Eric: Hey... what happened to you... u talk different...
You: Yes... I am gone mad... I think I am in love with you... ( just look at his eyes straight when you say this)
Eric:..... (he'll be shocked if he didn't expect.. if he was expecting the same then too he will keep quiet for a moment)
You: Yes eric... I like you so much...
Thats it... you are done... then everything depends on his answer ....
If you don't want to ask him, you could write him a note or an e-mail. Then ask him to reply you with a note or an e-mail. If this turns out to be positive for the both of you, you're lucky and you should have the time of your life.