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Hide and Seek - a poem





niffer
Iíve hid myself underneath an infinity of bedsheets
Under a thousand oceans of tears
In the dustiest old closet,
The key, of which, Iíve swallowed
But vomited out, and given to a friend of yours
Iíve forced myself to forget

Letís see you try to find me now
Letís see you try to step on my face and peel away my soul
You wonít make me It ever again
KatanaSky
niffer wrote:
Iíve hid myself underneath an infinity of bedsheets
Under a thousand oceans of tears
In the dustiest old closet,
The key, of which, Iíve swallowed
But vomited out, and given to a friend of yours
Iíve forced myself to forget

Letís see you try to find me now
Letís see you try to step on my face and peel away my soul
You wonít make me It ever again


That was well written piece. The only reason why I think not many have replied to it, is simply because they cannot relate (...or are simply not into poetry). I am very into poetry though and even though you haven't openly asked for it, I am going to post my opinion.

I really liked how you began this poem. However, from "In the dustiest old closet" and on was simply... ok. You did pick it back up when you said "step on my face and peel away my soul" it sounded as if the narrator of the poem (not sure if you are the narrator yourself) find your soul so thin and light that it is not difficult to remove and does not necessarily need to be pried from inside you - as if it were simply laying as a second layer of skin.

Atleast, that was my take on that. Keep writing! Wink
noliver
Well I really like the poem . It's quite sad, but also very powerful. I like the metaphors that you have used. Post more !
Requell
You really should post more poems. Theres few decent poems to read online. I have given up on amature poetry sites. you do very well.
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