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my mom's best friend son died last night... Why??





whoamifooling
My mom's best friend's son died. He was only twenty six. My moms friend has been through hell the past couple of years. she struggled to get through college. She struggles to pay the bills every month, she struggled to pay for groceries. Her ex husband just had a heart attack, he boyfriend was in a ski accident. And to top it off, she felt that his death was going to happen, through dreams, and flashes in her head.

He died last night, his girlfriend found him this morning. His girlfriend left as soon as she found out his mom was flying out. His girlfriend was the worst to him. I honestly think she did something to him.

I feel so bad for my mom's friend right now. I mean if there is a god, why would he do this??

My faith is completely gone now.
wumingsden
whoamifooling wrote:
My mom's best friend's son died. He was only twenty six. My moms friend has been through hell the past couple of years. she struggled to get through college. She struggles to pay the bills every month, she struggled to pay for groceries. Her ex husband just had a heart attack, he boyfriend was in a ski accident. And to top it off, she felt that his death was going to happen, through dreams, and flashes in her head.

He died last night, his girlfriend found him this morning. His girlfriend left as soon as she found out his mom was flying out. His girlfriend was the worst to him. I honestly think she did something to him.

I feel so bad for my mom's friend right now. I mean if there is a god, why would he do this??

My faith is completely gone now.


Fait. Everyone dies at some stage or another, which is what i've learnt. I don't really believe in a God, though.
If you do believe in a God then why not just come to the conclusion that it was their time to die? In the grand schema of things they probably did so for a reason, and it'll only make the loved ones loss stronger as people.

I think it's pretty bad that you accuse someone of murder. Just because it seemed like she was not very nice to him doesn't actually mean it. They were girlfriend/boyfriend with each other for a reason.

A post-mortem will reveal how they died. Their death (obviously) wasn't a natural death because they were only in their 20's, but that does not mean that they were killed. If the post-mortem results come back and the results incline that something happened to him to cause his death then an inquiry will be opened. In the meantime, I suggest you try and help out your friends mum the best you can (if you were close to her, that is) and not to tell anybody but your mum the feeling you have about your mums best friends son's girlfriend.
madsencarl
That really sucks dude... Did he die in his sleep? That shouldn't happen at 26... Or was there drugs/excessive amounts of alcohol involved?
Captain Fertile
If you do believe in a god, then this is the one time this can be of greatest help to you, speak to your church leader if you have one and they should help you see the bigger picture.

Whether you believe in god or not (I get the impression you do from your post hence my approach in this post) there are other things to do;

Look inside yourself , you are stronger than you know and the fact you were able to post the words you did in the way you did shows a strength that can help you through this.

Talk to anyone who will listen, here on this thread if you cannot find someone there. If you can find someone there where you are then they will be able to help you a little better and in other ways.

I hope this short message helps you know there is someboddy who cares and I may not know you I do understand your pain, I have been there too.

You have shared it and that means it has been halved, the more you share the easier it will be to bear.

It is late here right now and I am tired, I may have worded this a little better had I been more awake and alert but just know that things happen for a reason. Its not for us to know the reason, it is for us to live with what has happened.

A year from now you will be in another place and be able to look back and see through clearer eyes what has happened and maybe, just maybe understand a little more of why. You just have to get through the next year. Plenty of people want to help you with that.

Take care and I hope your God will bless you. Smile

The Captain
whoamifooling
madsencarl wrote:
That really sucks dude... Did he die in his sleep? That shouldn't happen at 26... Or was there drugs/excessive amounts of alcohol involved?
His girlfriend found him bent over the toilet.
apple
Death is a part of life....
it's hard to accept when our loved ones leave us...

but it happens...

in my country...
just before christmas...there was a road accident....
four daughters and a male cousin, ages 11-19, were going to visit family members for a birthday party....

their car which was not going fast....
but somehow it skidded on the road and crashed into a wall....

those kids never made it...

the highway was literally littered with their body parts...

<removed by Wumingsden>
IF YOU DO WHAT YOU SAID YOU COULD/WOULD DO WILL RESULT IN AN IMMEDIATE BAN
</removed by Wumingsden>


i said that to say this....

death is viewed as our enemy....

but i say....embrace the moments of life you are given each day and live it as your last....cause there are no boundaries with deaths embrace.
reddishblue
Why? Why is my brother Autistic and will never be able to read a novel or get a job/house/life?
Why did my Father lose his job and leave my mother?
Why was my mother so cruel to me that I left to live with my father?
Why was my cat poisoned when I was 10?

All those things have happened to me in the last three years, just because it is bad does not mean you can accuse god of treating you unfairly, how can we doubt his decisions?

And for the record, I have no religion, but my own beliefs that consist of being fair and just, I think there is a god but not in a religions sense.

We need to accept what comes and what is about to come and not live in fear of the inevitable.
whoamifooling
reddishblue wrote:
Why? Why is my brother Autistic and will never be able to read a novel or get a job/house/life?
Why did my Father lose his job and leave my mother?
Why was my mother so cruel to me that I left to live with my father?
Why was my cat poisoned when I was 10?

All those things have happened to me in the last three years, just because it is bad does not mean you can accuse god of treating you unfairly, how can we doubt his decisions?

And for the record, I have no religion, but my own beliefs that consist of being fair and just, I think there is a god but not in a religions sense.

We need to accept what comes and what is about to come and not live in fear of the inevitable.
That's a reasonable thing for me to consider. However, I really never had faith.
seanooi
People come and go. That's the circle of life.
My best friend died last year. He was only 19 years old. He met with this group of friends from China but didn't really knew them well. But knowing him for so long, he's the kind of person that would do anything to help anyone. But by helping these friends he was kidnapped and they asked a ransom of $100,000.
His parents weren't that rich so he was murdered and left in a jungle to rot. When the police found his body they couldn't recognize him as his face was badly decomposed. They had to do a DNA test.
That's the way life is. I was shocked and sad at the same time when i heard about the news. But we still have to live our life to the fullest.
So cheer up dude. Wink
Captain Fertile
wumingsden wrote:
A post-mortem will reveal how they died. Their death (obviously) wasn't a natural death because they were only in their 20's, but that does not mean that they were killed. If the post-mortem results come back and the results incline that something happened to him to cause his death then an inquiry will be opened. In the meantime, I suggest you try and help out your friends mum the best you can (if you were close to her, that is) and not to tell anybody but your mum the feeling you have about your mums best friends son's girlfriend.


A very good point indeed. Your thoughts along these lines can be very hurtful to others at this sensitive time and even self-destructive for you. Greif can do weird things to your mind.

Let things work out for themselves until you (and everyone else) have had time to get a true perspective on things and you know better what happened.

PS Thanks for the PM, it was good to hear you sounded more positive and that my post helped even a little.

Be Strong - Smile
Yantaal
long story, "god" if you really believe in it, wants us to suffer so that we are good ebnough for his heaven
a.Bird
Yantaal wrote:
long story, "god" if you really believe in it, wants us to suffer so that we are good ebnough for his heaven

even longer story, we're all swimming in a pool of chaotic molecular soup.
whoamifooling
seanooi wrote:
People come and go. That's the circle of life.
My best friend died last year. He was only 19 years old. He met with this group of friends from China but didn't really knew them well. But knowing him for so long, he's the kind of person that would do anything to help anyone. But by helping these friends he was kidnapped and they asked a ransom of $100,000.
His parents weren't that rich so he was murdered and left in a jungle to rot. When the police found his body they couldn't recognize him as his face was badly decomposed. They had to do a DNA test.
That's the way life is. I was shocked and sad at the same time when i heard about the news. But we still have to live our life to the fullest.
So cheer up dude. Wink
OMG! That is so stupid. Why would someone do that? It's like messed up.
harrypotterrpg
whoamifooling wrote:
My mom's best friend's son died. He was only twenty six. My moms friend has been through hell the past couple of years. she struggled to get through college. She struggles to pay the bills every month, she struggled to pay for groceries. Her ex husband just had a heart attack, he boyfriend was in a ski accident. And to top it off, she felt that his death was going to happen, through dreams, and flashes in her head.

He died last night, his girlfriend found him this morning. His girlfriend left as soon as she found out his mom was flying out. His girlfriend was the worst to him. I honestly think she did something to him.

I feel so bad for my mom's friend right now. I mean if there is a god, why would he do this??

My faith is completely gone now.


Faith is a good thing. It gives you something to look forward to when you are down. Everyone dies. Why would his girlfriend to something to him. Maybe God though the time was right. If he had lived longer he would have more sins and a higher chance to end up in hell. Think of it like this, at least he is in heaven right now
SFMeatwad
Damn that Grim Reaper! Damn him to his home! (hell)

As for you're Mom's friend, she will be in my prayers. I just need to write your name down first and think of something to say..
Yantaal
does the grim reaper live in hell?

is hwe job really an evil one?
raaeft1
Death is an inevitable part of life.My 86-year-old aunt died day before yesterday night. She was suffering from cancer which had spread all over her body organs except her brain.She remained mentally alert till the last and remembered God at the exact time of her death forgetting all pain that she must have suffered.
Only recently I had spoken to her on the telephone on January 1 and she was all right other than suffering from old age arthritis. Cancer was detected only in the middle of January.
divinitywolf
Dont lose your faith. OK it can always be argued that God, if he's all powerful then why does he let people die, but if no one died there'd be no space left. OK if you're thinking yeah but 26 is a young age then just realise that it might be a test. God could be testing you to find out how strong you are. He may have an interesting future for you. But death isnt a bad thing, you shouldn't feel sad. i read a quote somewhere which is as follows " Death is but the next journey of life". He may be in paradise right now having the time of his life. Truly no one ever dies, for as long as theres a record of him then he will live on, in our photographs, our memories and our hearts. He will never be forgotten and neither will any of you...
David_Pardy
Why do people blame God when people die?

It doesn't make sense. It is INEVITABLE for people to do.

Human life on this earth is synonymous with suffering. The fact that he was slumped over the toilet probably suggests that it was to do with drugs or alcohol, or perhaps some other sort of poisoning. In the case of alcohol or drugs, it's his own fault - so why blame God? In the case of other poisoning, well that could amount to murder, carelessness or even suicide. It does happen.

You must understand that God lets people die, because we're supposed to die. I'm sure there is not one single age in the world that someone hasn't died at below 100 at some point in time. You know what you do now that he's dead? You accept it as a part of life, and move on. You are more than welcome to grieve, as is his mother and any friends and family who knew him, but there is a time to accept it and move on.
Vrythramax
I hate to be cliche' here, it is a horrible loss and I honestly sympathize, I have lost horribly not long ago....but wasn't it Jim Morrison that said "no one gets out of life alive"?

Please correct me if I am wrong.
Fright Knight
Don't blame God for what is happening to your mom's best friend. Yes indeed God created us and He has the right to take our life but we must also remember that the greatest gift that God gave us is freedom/Free will. It's not His fault if the husband has a weak heart. Maybe he has a bad diet. Its not God's fault if her boy friend had a ski accident. God never told him to go skieng that day he had an accident. And God never told the Girl friend of her son to kill him(if she really killed him). No one must blame HIM (God). Afterall, He never made us just for Him to Kill us. We were made to LIVE and not to DIE.


That's life. all you can do is to support your mom's friend. Make her feel that she's not alone. Blaming must not be done right now. Now is the time to heal. Blaming someone is just like asking a wound to be opened again.


Peace.
timothymartin
If your faith is completely gone, then do you not believe he's dead?
Insanity
Sometimes bad things happen to good people. That's just how life works. It sucks, but that's how it is. Sorry for your loss.
ribozon
I'm really sorry for your loss but; every living creature will feel the death's cold face without denying it, there is a chance to do whatever we want in this short period so we should have fun as much as we can, we should spend the time with our family or the people that important in our short lifes.

edit: just noticed topic is old but still sorry for him :/
Arty
I'm sorry, but there is no God.

All this talk about love and free will and moping around because of all the unfair things that had happened to everyone in life is for the weak. Just abandon all those sentimentics and focus on your goal in life.

Death is not our enemy, it is our motivation to make our mark on the universe.
ProfessorY91
Arty wrote:
I'm sorry, but there is no God.

All this talk about love and free will and moping around because of all the unfair things that had happened to everyone in life is for the weak. Just abandon all those sentimentics and focus on your goal in life.


I'm equally sorry, but that statement is an opinion, not a fact. There are some who disagree.

I agree that emotional detachment and discipline during emotionally charged times is in the best interest of your goals in life. I don't agree that people shouldn't take time out of their goals to mourn the passing of a loved one. Absence takes some getting used to. However, there is a limit to feeling sorry and reacting to your emotions.

My condolences for your loss.
deanhills
Condolences for your loss. Don't think anyone can offer any real help during a situation like this. You have to work through it yourself, and come to your own conclusions. All I can say is that this will also pass. It always does. Wish you all the courage and strength and best wishes.
iman
Well, things do happen to good people. Sometimes we don't have to know the reason.
deanhills
iman wrote:
Well, things do happen to good people. Sometimes we don't have to know the reason.
I heard this philosophy yesterday as well. A good one. Takes a while to get there though, especially when one loses someone that you are closely connected to. But eventually time sorts things out, and life goes on.
nigam
my condolences to the family....don't loose your faith...this happened for some reason and by that you need to be strong, and have more faith in God.
TurtleShell
SOmething very similar happened last year to my mother's best friend's son. This was a boy I used to babysit for. I cried for his mom when I found out the news.
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