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English





madsencarl
Quote:
How did we ever learn to speak English ourselves?

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does strange things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong for us to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of either one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

By the way, how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly? Where did the beauty who was OUT OF THIS WORLD go?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible. However, when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay,I end it?

Confusion, thy name is English!





stolen.
Hogwarts
Firstly, I would like to start off that German is even crazier then English.

Hahn, a German name means chicken. Who calls their child "Chicken"

HahnDORF, a town, named after a guy named...well... Hahn. Guess what it means when translated. Chicken town!

On another thing to do with Germany, you wonder why the hamburger is called the hamburger?
Wikipedia wrote:
Ships from Hamburg, Germany coincidently shipped to New York also, and brought what is now known as the Hamburg steak.


Also, just so you know, there are homonyms in alot of languages. I.e. back on the note of Germany (Razz), Hahn, the name, does not mean chicken.

Alot of these things are irregular words, and therefore are different.

The meaning of the word is determined by the sentence it is in. I.e. phonetically He ground the flower is the same as He ground the flour, but it is obvious what the definition is.
Animal
Your Copy and Pasting skills are truly amazing. Rolling Eyes

Use quote tags when you copy stuff from other pages (I added them for you here), don't just write "stolen" at the bottom. Read this before you post next time.
coolclay
Yes most of those words have some sort of history behind them that lead to what they are today.

Nonetheless it was rather amusing, and whoever made that had way to much time on there hands.
DoctorBeaver
Why do you get on a bus but get in a car?
Captain Fertile
The opposite of appropriate is inappropriate, the opposite of secure is insecure, the opposite of effective is ineffective but inflammable is the SAME as flammable.

English is weird and has to be one of the hardest to learn as a second language yet so many people learn it. Funnily enough, we English seem less inclined to learn a second language because it’s too difficult for us.
mstreet
I agree people who speak english as a first language are less incline to learn a new language. Amazingly enough I have found though that English is the global language. I have been in many meetings throughout Europe and they have all been in English and not the host countries language
Daisie
mstreet wrote:
I agree people who speak english as a first language are less incline to learn a new language. Amazingly enough I have found though that English is the global language. I have been in many meetings throughout Europe and they have all been in English and not the host countries language

I totaly agree...
When i go to france with the kids, in the vain hope that they will learn a bit of it, I find that everyone talk to them in english... Sad
English is the business and web language...

What I find hard in english is that you dont speak the way you spell words...
"ght" at a word ending?! what is that all about ?!
themadness
I find Spanish much easier; I use it whenever I can.

You can always tell what's a verb, adjective, noun, etc., and making negatives is easier in english (most often, add des- to the adjective), and so on.

Plus, Spanish sounds so much more romantic than English.
R2.DETARD
My English teacher tried to explain the difference between "effect" and "affect"
I never understood, nor cared what the difference is.
Hogwarts is right though, DEUTSCH IST VERRÜCKT!
Learning German was hard, there are so many grammatical rules, and worse! exceptions to those rules!!!
TomS
Well, I can't say that german is 'verrückt' because it's my motherlanguage.
Only the changes which are made trough the "reform of correct writing" are stupid. They want to change any word from Latin or English to german.

Ketchup -> Ketschap
Computer -> Kompjuter
Awfully!

@Hogwarts: Hm. Who do you know with the name 'Hahn'?

I have heard stories from Americans that call their children even funnier names than 'chicken'.
eg. 'Dirtbike'. The poor child is so punished.
cybernie
sometimes english is a bit confusing when it comes to word usage and sentence construction.
Captain Fertile
R2.DETARD wrote:
My English teacher tried to explain the difference between "effect" and "affect"
I never understood, nor cared what the difference is.
Hogwarts is right though, DEUTSCH IST VERRÜCKT!
Learning German was hard, there are so many grammatical rules, and worse! exceptions to those rules!!!


Ahhhh, so it's not just me - I cannot get my head around affect and effect. I am always unsure of the correct usage of either word.
Dean_The_Great
English is an interesting language as it is a combination of the scandinavian languages (German included) and also the latin based languages (such as spanish and french). Thus, we have a confusing, no hard and fast ruled, backwards language that for some reason has been accepted as the universal standard. Some languages, such as italian and spanish (and even such bizzare languages (by Euro standards) such as the asian languages (Korean, Chinese, Japansese), make far more sense than ours.

It is also one of the reasons that English does not flow nearly as well as the romance or asian tongues. Ours is designed in a blocky, and barely effective way. It is also consdiered by far the most difficult to learn as a second language.
Vlien
Interesting topic.

You know that stupid song by Bob Sinclar, Love Generation? It has this sentence in it: "No one can tear it apart." And the singer gets the pronunciation of "tear" seriously wrong, I was really annoyed by this. He said "teer", instead of "tair". And all you English people out there, is it correct to say "just look TO the rainbow" instead of "look AT the rainbow"?? Tell me! That was in the song too.

'bout funny place names, the Belgians are even better at that! In Flanders we have a town that is called "Arse" or "Ass" (whatever you like :p), literally translated ("Reet"). Hope this isn't moderated, that would be sooo silly.
dz9c
wow where did u find that that is so cool wow thank you for this i will cherish it for generations
DoctorBeaver
Just to clarify the point - you can do something that affects others, it has an effect on them. But then you can effect a change.
nilsmo
Every language has its ups and downs.

1. English: weird words
2: Romance languages: complex verb conjugations, feminine/masculine nouns
Kaisonic
The only reason English has weird words is because we simplified everything. Every other language is too complicated, having a separate word for just about everything. With English, you only need to know a handful of words to know the meanings of a bunch of things. It's just plain awesome.
eliasr
well, i think english is easyer than my own countrys language ( Danish ) and i think it's because of the rules in the language, like the grammar and such, also the rules about the spelling. it's so simpel, then i would say my own comes after that, and then german.

actually it's kind the same for my grades, i get most in english, then danish and then german.
Agent ME
Vlien wrote:
And all you English people out there, is it correct to say "just look TO the rainbow" instead of "look AT the rainbow"?? Tell me! That was in the song too.

Yeah, "... look to ..." is a grammatically correct phrase as far as I know.

eliasr wrote:
also the rules about the spelling. it's so simpel,

Couldn't help it but lol Razz The word is spelled "simple" so you know. Wink

(What's really hilarious is when someone flames another person on a forum about bad grammar, and screws up in his own post)
co2socs
Hey everyone!

pesonally, my english is not really rich, because I learned this language about one year ago;

I was speaking Russian and french, but since everything in world is english... I deceided to take courses.

I still have to make it better... But I realized that it's not as hard as others. In french, for example, you have to use the ''é'', ''à'', ''è'', and so on... for the grammar...

In english, you don't have to worry about this... Some rules to remember and you are set up.

Still, have to work on my accent Laughing

But it also depends on the person's education, because it's not everyone that have capacitys to learn languages fast...

If you learn an language when you are young, it's easyer, but when you are older.... starts to become more difficult....

Anyways, good luck everyone with english hehehe.

-John-
Agent ME
@Above-Person^ : Looks like to me your english writing is good from that post - only problem is that you misspelled the word "easier" - you change the last 'y' to 'i' when you add certain endings usually.
mwasimba
Well english in my country colonized us but the most interesting things have been the toungue twisters try the following phrases and if you can't pronounce it right the first time, just know you need to work on your english

Red lorries, yellow lorries, green lorries, and blue lorries ran along Limuru road.

She sells sea shells by the sea shore

If Kantai can tie a tie, and i can't tie a tie, why can't i tie a tie like Kantai can tie a tie?

HAHAHA i heard you!!!!!!!!!!!
sky217
I don't know how "Limuru" is supposed to be pronounced so I fail that one. I've never used the word "lorries" before either. Sounds like a British word. Smile
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