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Identity crisis...





rainmaker
Hello everyone....

I have just been thinking about something, and I have to get it off of my chest. You see, I'm a gay guy that struggles with balancing my orientation with my religion. For a long time I refused to admit that this was even the case.

Now, even though I've more or less realized that I'm gay, I still feel that my life is a cycle of ups and downs. When I'm at the peak, I'm completely satisfied with who I've become. When I'm down in the valleys, I feel like I'm a complete heretic.

I've never been one to follow social customs, but the religious side of me is uncomfortable with my homosexuality. I'd like to start meeting other guys, but I feel that these are still some insecurities that need to be dealt with first.

I guess I'll just have to take it one day at a time. If anyone cares to comment or whatever feel free. Thanks for letting me vent!

--rainmaker
wumingsden
People ask "How can Muslims be gay?" (just an example).

The reason is people interpret things in different ways. Be what you feel you are, whether that is a religious guy that so happens to be gay then so be it, not what people wish you to be.

I'm also gay but not particularly religious. I believe in many religions, but some parts I disagree with so I tend no to get too involved.

Does anybody know that you are gay?
The reason I ask is because some people feel the need that they need to tell everyone that there gay so they don't decieve anyone. Some feel the need to tell the nearest person to them. Some feel the need not to tell anybody.

I thought at the time I needed to tell my mother (probably the nearest person to me). She fully accepts it but it still quite in shock as to how I am. After I told her I became fully acceptable of what I like, guys. I felt however a few months afterwards that she actually didn't need to know as much as I thought. I realised that I wasn't lying to her, I was just trying to be socially accepted - I am actually more socially acceptable than I thought I would be, sometimes though this is not the case with gay guys that "act" gay. Now I am open with new people I meet, although none of my old friends know that I am gay and my father and brother. I don't make a big deal about my sexuality, although I usually have to be completely open when I find out a girl likes me. Unfortunately it happens way too much, I wouldn't mind if it was guys or if the girls become my fag-hags, but they like to stay a little bit obsessed than what I like.

OK, enough of me blabbering off. Just remember that you have the right to be what you wish, and you will find a way to combine your religious beliefs with the person that you are, in time.

How old are you?
I think that you should first accept it, then make sure you are gay through experience, then if you feel the need to tell anyone/everyone then do. This however will happen in time, and if you are young then I'd recommend not rushing, although you may not feel it (or at least I didn't), you have all the time in the world.

(P.S - If you wish to speak privately about it then don't hesitate to PM me).
crdowner
Hi rainmaker,
I think I understand what you are going through. I am also gay and I was raised as a Southern Baptist. As you may already know, Southern Baptist are very much against anything gay. I knew from a very early age that I am gay. I tried to date a few girls. There were a few (two) girls that I imagined marrying and living a "straight" life.

I remember praying and asking God to make me straight. I remember crying myself to sleep. I guess you can say that I gave up on that. I have accepted that I am gay. I am not sure if God made me gay, if it was hormones during pregnancy, something from my childhood, etc. but I am gay. I personally do not feel that homosexuality is something that can be "cured" either.

At the ripe old age of 25, I starting meeting other gay guys. Then I found the one. I have been with my partner for over 9 years now.

My partner belongs to the Episcopal church. I have attended a few services. There are several things about the Episcopal church that I do not especially like but at least they are accepting of gays.

I have told a few friends but none of my family has been told. I suspect that some of them know since I bought a house with my "roommate". He and I do go to family functions.

I still struggle with religion and homosexuality some times but nothing like I did before. If you need someone to talk to, let me know.
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