Of course she should have pulled away 6 months ago. She should have today me to drop dead. She should have told me to never talk to her again. But she was there for me with all my hardships. She help me find a place to live. She always makes sure I am ok, sometimes making herself sick in the process.
But since the court date when I said I was guilty of something I did not do. She has pulled away like it was just the last thing she was holding of for. Make sure it was done and then she is done. Last night when I said good bye she said we need to talk. I know what she wants to say she wants to move on. She wants to know I will be ok when she moves on. I wont but I will tell her I will. I love her to much to not say that. I wish I had listen to her years ago and got the help I needed. I wish I could have been the person she needed.
This sounds bad, Tasa. I'm not quite following you of what you told there, but I understand your woman left you. I will give you this advice: let time pass by and time will bring wisdom. Forget her for a while, concentrate on what is good for your life at this very moment. Try to find satisfaction in the things you still have. Maybe you are still young and healthy.
When the months have passed by you must think about the relationship the both of you had, but not right now. Do not focus on it, because it is gone for now. Focus on yourself and what you have. If you think you have nothing, think of what you can have in the future. Hang in there and don't loose it man. You will pull yourself through. You can and you must. There is no other way. Don't look for guilt, because it will not help your life. Don't think life sucks because things aren't looking to bright today. Life can be beautyful tomorrow...
(if it helps: my life sucks bad at this moment, but I won't let it get me down, I will get on top again...)
Time will tell indeed.
Supplementing Sadow; Please try to keep in mind that pain is a part of life and that fleeing from pain only brings you in more pain. Crying isn't a shame, especially not when you're around people who love you.
It always helped me to cry a lot if I felt sad, so I could get on with things.
Good supplement, Kane. Currently I'm putting most of my hurt away. I guess it will come back at one point. I will try to take the pain, one piece at a time...
I could go all philisophical and say something like "Without pain how would we know what joy is?" But... in honesty, pain suck. So does losing someone you love. But, who knows? Maybe it's what's best for you, too. Perhaps she's not the one that's meant to be more than a friend. Who knows? Only time will tell, right?
And hell, she may be wanting to talk about something completely different. Let her say what she's going to say, before you get suicidal, kay?
[quote=Digital Thoth]And hell, she may be wanting to talk about something completely different. Let her say what she's going to say, before you get suicidal, kay?[/quote]
Could be a good idea. Fuirthermore, If you've got the feeling that she's moving away for a while now, it could be just the reason while she's moving away:
Self Fullfilling Prophacy
You think she's moving away, and act different, perhaps keeping your distance to protect yourself or otherwise, she dislikes your new behaviour and starts to move away.
hard to keep an open mind, so talking is the only way to prevent this sort of stuff from happening.
If only it was really that simple.
This is my ex wife I am talking about. The last little while we have been getting closer, but the other night as she is driving off I give her a kiss, and she says we need to talk it is something that has been happening for awhile. I lost her once and now she is leaving again.
And I have no one to blame but myself. I hurt her she can not forgive me she can not trust me. it is my fault.
What was the thing you never did but was found guilty of?
|lukeropro wrote: |
|What was the thing you never did but was found guilty of? |
I was not found guilty. I put in a plea in abeyance of guilty which means it will go away after a year. And it was not against my Ex-wife. But it was domistic violence against someone else. I will admit that the day in question had a lot of yelling, but I never hurt and blocked anyone from leaving. Or any of the other lies.
By doing a plea in abeyance it means as long as I pay the fine and finish the counseling that I was already doing the whole thing will disappear.
But it was like sandpaper in my mouth when I had to say guilty.
If that is what she wants you have to ler her go. Work on getting your issues straight. How can you be true to someone if you are not true to yourself. She has come back to you once already, if you were to get your life in order without her and let her see this, as time goes by she might realize, hey I like what I see and want to give things another go.
You need to work on YOU and get YOU better, let yourself heal from this ordeal. Will it be hard? of course it will, but you have to be active and get your mind off of her if this is the decision she has come to. Go out to events, go play a sport, hang with some old buddies, just DON'T SIT AROUND FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF. This will only make it worse. Trust me I know someone very close to me who has been in this situation before, you can get through this....
If she's pulling away i think you should let her go cause anything you fight so had to keep really isnt yours.
maybe you shouldnt play so much guildwars... or maybe you should play more... whatever seems to help.. but damn thats alot of time