not long ago I went to a competition in another city with some students. Among them there is one boy attracting my attention. He is very humour and everyone likes talking with him. When came back, I sent an SMS to make jokes with him, but what surprised me was that the next day he gave me a letter that written he loved a boy...
certainly he's gay, I wrote back to him saying I did not look down upon gays. But that night he sent me an SMS saying he loved me...
He ever killed himself twice because that boy broke down with him, I'm afraid of this. Now I live in an embarrassed condition. I must suffer from other students' misunderstandings. I can't get away from him either, I don't know how to do! I'm not gay!
I think you should be proud of not being gay. let him think about his condition, and don't feel upset.
Just make it clear to him that you're not gay. If he's a nice guy then there's no need to break off your friendship. I doubt he'll take it as a rejection, because it's impossible for you to be attracted to him, so I don't think you need to worry about hurting his feelings like those other two boys who broke up with him.
^^
That's true. There's a big difference between turning down someone because you don't like THEM in that way, and because you don't like their GENDER in that way. Make it clear to him - politely - that you're not gay, and as such it's not his fault at all that you're not attracted in that way to him.
Be polite, be understanding, there's no need to hurt his feelings more than you need to, but at the end of the day, it's not his fault, and your opinions aren't likely to change!
How long ago was it you met him? You said it wasn't long ago - I'd be dubious that he's actually in LOVE with you. Attracted to you maybe, but... it'll pass.
Ignoring him is the best thing you could do, he's obviously trying to ruin your reputation or whatever, and that's just so embarrassing. I hope everything works out for you.
| twisthigh wrote: |
| Ignoring him is the best thing you could do, he's obviously trying to ruin your reputation or whatever, and that's just so embarrassing. I hope everything works out for you. |
Are you high, or just incredibly homophobic?
I know that some people ARE stupid enough to think less of people for being gay. I don't like it, but that's life. But to think less of someone because a gay guy was attracted to them?
And to immediatly leap to the fact that this guy must be trying to ruin hs reputation?
Did it occur to you that this guy is a person? Unrequited love is a real bitch. If it were a girl doing it, I'm sure you'd see that. But because he's a gay guy, he's out on some kind of sinister smear campaign?
Good grief, I'm ashamed to share your sexual orientation. >:[well, I am not homophobic that's for sure, I just don't like spending time with them in a bed, think what you may ....
and hey, you just felt what it feels like for a girl to have to turn down boys because she doesn't see herself in a relationship with them 
perhaps you would now have more understanding if you get (and you will, like all of us) turned down by a girl. It's a very embarassing situation I understand... hmmm there isn't much you could do apart from explaining to him that YOU ARE NOT GAY!!!! and that he should fall in love with another guy... if he has enough gray cells he's gonna understand that you do like him, but as a friend. I really do not see any other solution, and if the other people think it's your fault, then tehy are idiots... Make hime bug off. He has no right to be harassing you. But you must first tell hime you are not gay.
| twisthigh wrote: |
| Ignoring him is the best thing you could do, he's obviously trying to ruin your reputation or whatever, and that's just so embarrassing. I hope everything works out for you. |
Reputation? Gosh, in which century are you living?
Right, let's get back on topic:
I think you should say to him you don't like men. This should be enough. I don't think you should take the suicide thing into account because that shouldn't be the case if you just tell him you only like him as a friend.
You should talk to him and make things clear, and then your "friends" won't nag you because of it.i really don't know what to do and how to do
Directly telling him the truth may lead to his killing himself!
| simophin wrote: |
i really don't know what to do and how to do
Directly telling him the truth may lead to his killing himself! |
It is not your fault that you don't like him. Simply say that you are not gay, that will be enough. If it isn't enough for him then you have done nothing wrong. It is not your fault about how someone feels about you (in this situation, at least). If he does try to kill himself then he really does need some help so confide in someone you trust.Don't drag it out. Tell him the truth, that you aren't gay. If he cares about you he will try to respect that. Make sure he understands that it's not him. You shouldn't be responsible for his actions or base your decisions on what he might do. If he's having a hard time dealing with his sexuality and is thinking about suicide, direct him to a counselor.
Yeah, you shouldn't be chained down by him. Make it crystal clear you aren't gay - and if he's cool with that, perhaps he can be a friend, otherwise tell him to move on and away. If he's considering suicide, there's options (hotlines, counselor, etc.)
I think that if you're curious, give it a shot. It cant hurt, and you never know what you'll like.
| Quote: |
| I think that if you're curious, give it a shot. It cant hurt, and you never know what you'll like. |
bwahahahaha!! i couldnt agree more!!! 
i've heard people saying that its only "disgusting" during the first time! just tell him you think he's a great friend, but you are not sexually attracted to guys. he should be able to understand that much.
Just tell the guy your not gay and move on with your life.
Problem solved.
Talk to him like a man! Talk to him straight. Truth hurts but its the truth.
Or maybe not. You don't have to be gay to be nice to this guy.... Think of it as if he's talking about another girl. That might help you relate.
i've told him i'm not a gay, neither will I be. but he does believe that i love him. when i told him i don't love him, he regarded it as a joke. now in his class, everyone thinks we are falling in love.
may i help him? there is only 200 days left for the Nation College Examination. Few days ago he said to me, "I just went out of him, if you leave me, i don't know what the meaning of my life is." So i think, perhaps i can help him in these remaining days under a great pressure. But i wonder if it's worth doing so 
Ok, then I'd say he's crossed the line from unrequited love to delusional.
It's impossible for you to leave him, if you're not together. It's harsh, but you're going to have to explain to him... he's obviously extremely confused, but you won't help matters by leading him on. You'll just make things worse.
He's starting to sound like a bit of a bunny-boiler...
| simophin wrote: |
i've told him i'm not a gay, neither will I be. but he does believe that i love him. when i told him i don't love him, he regarded it as a joke. now in his class, everyone thinks we are falling in love.
may i help him? there is only 200 days left for the Nation College Examination. Few days ago he said to me, "I just went out of him, if you leave me, i don't know what the meaning of my life is." So i think, perhaps i can help him in these remaining days under a great pressure. But i wonder if it's worth doing so |
It is possible to love him and not be gay. I'm gay and love a girl. it however will not go anywhere because I'm gay. I know this and she does too. Tell him that you don't have feelings for him, that to you he's just a friend and thats all he's eve going to be.
