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Fall in Love with a Best Friend





molif
ever fall in love with your own best friend..??

some ppl think its not a good thing to fall in love with someone who already know you so well and its not healthy for the relationship..

to me, ive already fall in love with my own best friend, so far, from a friend, to a best friend and now, my sweetheart.. i couldnt be more happier..

she is everything i need.. in terms of ANYTHING..

so, anyone here dating ur best friend..??
vanSetiawan
yap...i am now in love with my best friend...
she is so pretty, smart and cute...
she has a high sense of humor...

every time i am thinking of her, than i miss her very much...
and so on then i call her...and tell that i love her....
S3nd K3ys
I did. It was about 15 years ago. We've been married for 12 now. Very Happy
xpiamchris
Personally, I think this can swing both ways...

If both parties (you and her/ or you and him) feel the same way, I think it would be awesome. You guys already know each other's quirks and bad habits, so you don't really have to learn much about him/her. However, in the slight chance that things don't go right, and things don't turn up ok, you have the potential to mess everything up and lose a best friend...

I guess its hard... its a hard call.. but lately I've been thinking about the fact that life is too short to worry about such things.. you just have to do what you feel is right, or what you feel is best, and go for it. Sometimes whats right and whats best arent the same... and sometimes they are..

thats what makes life so complicated...
so.. kiss.
molif
im guessing having ur best friend as your love ones is amazing..
westhighdrumline
I have, but that was almost a year ago. We're still good friends tho Very Happy
benjmd
If you are not married to the person who is truly your best friend then you are married to the wrong person.

Friendship is the foundation of real love. It is totally normal and healthy to develop that sort of relationship with a friend. Some people are scared of losing a friendship if the relationship ends, but I think that depends on who you are as a person. Are you selfish and if things end will you be mean, jealous, or clingy? Or are you a true friend and if things end will you continue to share yourself with that person as a friend?

I think if you are a good friend and a good person, giving the relationship a try shouldn't hurt things in the end.
MicahsFriends
I think its good to date your Best friend that way you know them.
SunburnedCactus
I didn't know her when I first met her (sister of a friend) but my girlfriend is now my best friend. Pretty good, no? Smile
Wahwah Man
I'm in love with my best friend and i think thats the way it should be. you almost accidentally fall in love.

afterall.. a partner should be a best friend... with benefits.

shes everything i've ever wanted and its totally ok.
JoeFriday
I've never fallen in love with a best friend.. but every woman I've been in love with quickly became my best friend at the same time we fell in love

I personally can't understand couples that get married but don't consider their spouses their best friends.. maybe I just require a deeper personal connection with my partner
holly.rebecca
Well, my best friend is a woman, and so am I. And I'm heterosexual, and so is she. So no, I don't think we will be falling in love any time soon.

I love my boyfriend more than anything, but he's my romantic partner, my significant other. That's a different thing from being a best friend.

I've never fallen in love with a really close male friend who I've already known for a while. Generally it's pretty black and white as to whether I am attracted to a man or not. If I'm attracted to them from the start, then my interest and intention is to pursue a romantic relationship. If not, I become friends with them. If I'm not attracted to them from the start, I probably never will be.
saint_clark
Felt something for my best friend for about two years before I told her. She didn't feel the same way, but we carried on being good mates anyway; of course it was after that i discovered she'd lied to me and we were never best mates, but still, the principles are the same.
If you really are best friends then something like this won't come in the way; you should be able to deal with it and move on if it all goes sour.
fitotif
I did when i was 15 years old. It was just a very bad experience.
Tvis
I used to have a best friend whom I started dating with...it lasted about 3 years. Then the relationship ended and also the friendship. But by that time we had already more or less lost interest in eachother. Or maybe it was becuase I left her for another... Laughing Well anyway, at first it was great...because we always had things to talk about. Never a dull moment...
molif
true.. never a dull moment...
angelussum
Yeah, it can be hard to sometimes not to have extra feelings for a close friend. But personally, I've preferred to just enjoy and keep the friendship than to have it deepen into something more than could put the friendship at risk. I dunno, I guess for me in most cases it's been that I'd rather be with the person more than to have something with them and maybe not be close to them anymore.
arjay
Friendship is the best foundation for love. But, along the way, when one tries to convert the friendship into a romantic relationship, I believe it can also put some risks to the friendship when the love feeling is not mutual. There are people who just reciprocate to the love offer of the friend because he/she does not want to lose the friendship. But this kind of reason won’t see long-term success in their love relationship and eventually fall out of love... and so goes the friendship,too.

The preferred idea here is to take the two relationships as two distinct areas in a relationship– that is, one unique from the other. If you fall in love with your bestfriend, don’t make your being bestfriends as leverage and false interpretation of an imminent love relationship. Similarly, if you want to keep your being bestfriends, don’t make falling in love as your ultimate goal.

Notwithstanding successes in bestfriends-to-lovers experiences, in my humble opinion, it is still better that when you fall in love with someone, it is not due to your being bestfriends but because you really feel love, beyond friendship, for that person. It is difficult to put friendship at risk, but, everyone knows that putting everything at risk is a natural consequence of true love. In this case, when the other party does not feel the same and can't reciprocate to your love , you can take care of your emotion because you have prepared yourself to lose everything in the name of love.

Sometimes this line makes sense: “Friendship to love, always. But love to friendship, never.” Or simply stated, friendship always (or often) leads to love, while love leading in friendship is never (or less probable) to happen.

There is a situation where being bestfriends is better than being lover. A situation where commitment is significant to it – like the LEVEL of commitment from BOTH parties. If NEITHER wants commitment, just stick with being bestfriends.
Smile
dude_xyx
Its always nice coz yr best friend understand you better than anyone else but also if you break up most of the time you loose both love and friendship. you wont able to role back to friendship.
TheDarkLord
I liked my best friend's sister and now my friend who I've known since the day I was born...
vinx_18
I've been in love with my best friend too...but unfortunately she ended up with my cousin...too bad... Sad
afriot
I feel in love with my best friend. Now we're married and have an 9 month old baby. I can work out. Think about it. Who knows you better than your mother and your best friend? If she still loves you after knowing everything, she's a keeper!
jumpbox
I have never fallen in love with my own best friend. But i would like to because you will have a better relationship relating to one another and just knowing her thoughts because if she is my best friend she will communicate her thoughts and we will be closer than if we were jsut total strangers when we fell in love with each other.
congenialboi
jumpbox wrote:
I have never fallen in love with my own best friend. But i would like to because you will have a better relationship relating to one another and just knowing her thoughts because if she is my best friend she will communicate her thoughts and we will be closer than if we were jsut total strangers when we fell in love with each other.


i agree with u
bluefossil
when or if the relationship ends, you also ending your best friend and friend relationship
molif
true... if the relationship fails, there is no way that we can go back who were used to be as best friends...
DeFwh
Almost all of my best friends r guys so it would be kind of weird for me to even think about it. But isnt your BF or GF really your true best friend.

Embarassed I guess you can have both but i guess your best freind isnt exactly going to be your opposite or equal. But then again maybe you would have more in common then most boy to girl relationships.

Is it possible to fall in love with your worst enemy?
DarkoSS
Falling in love with your best friend.. is the worst thing that'd happen to you!
A best friend means: He knows everything about you, your life, your problems, your waknesses..etc.. there are no secrets about you!
If you fall in love with him.. there one thing that's cetrain: No surprises between you people Very Happy
You're gonna get sick of each others and soon break up that relationship.. better keep away from the best friend!
The problem is.. some people are already in love with a girl.. and they can't tell her so.. when they become friends, he just says: i'll just be her best friend and forgot about love...
but at the very first occasion.. he'll fall in love.. and break down even that friendship Sad
xkobram
DarkoSS wrote:
Falling in love with your best friend.. is the worst thing that'd happen to you!
A best friend means: He knows everything about you, your life, your problems, your waknesses..etc.. there are no secrets about you!
If you fall in love with him.. there one thing that's cetrain: No surprises between you people Very Happy


I disagree. I had a girlfriend a she was also my best friend that way, we shared our problems and everything. She was 2 in 1 Wink Very Happy


DarkoSS wrote:

You're gonna get sick of each others and soon break up that relationship.. better keep away from the best friend!
The problem is.. some people are already in love with a girl.. and they can't tell her so.. when they become friends, he just says: i'll just be her best friend and forgot about love...
but at the very first occasion.. he'll fall in love.. and break down even that friendship Sad


Taht point you are right. I won't date my best friend because of loosing that good friendship after breaking up. We both know that and have discused that... But for sometime i was realy thinking about it
Darkfall
I was 16, I had been attracted to my best friend (female) for 5 years and then I presumed I'd fallen in love with her, and at Christmas we had sex together which was my first time and her second.

Heh, look what it did to me, the next year and a half afterwards I started treating women like objects, and now I've just realised its not a good thing.

I'm only 18 1/2. Considering this was 2 1/2 years ago and I'd still tell you NOT to do it.
Temra
It all depends on the type of people, the type of relationship and all things like that. For me, falling in love with my best friend has been a huge success! We have been together for four years and living together for a few months. Because of the fact that we were best friends before hand, I find it much easier to get along with him and deal with any problems that we might have, because I know how he reacts to things and I also know, that because he nad I don't have any secrets, our relationship is sort of better for it.

For me, falling love with my best friend has worked. And, we are that close that even if we break up, we will still be friends. We have already decided that we cannot stop knowing each other no matter what.

So yeah, I feel it all depends on the people and the type of relationship they have.
xkobram
Darkfall wrote:
...at Christmas we had sex together which was my first time and her second.


Nice Christmas present.
Darkfall
Heh, tell me about it.

For new year she gave me a broken heart.
xkobram
Darkfall wrote:
Heh, tell me about it.

For new year she gave me a broken heart.


In my country, we don't gave presents for New Year.
But, I'm sorry for that.
urbanbuddha
I fell in love with my best friend. I disagree when people say that it's bad for your lover to know everything about you, because the purpose of a long-term relationship is to get to know each other on a deeper and committed level. When you fall for a friend, you know what you're getting into. But at the same time, you'll learn more things about them that could only be shared between a couple.
xkobram
urbanbuddha wrote:
I fell in love with my best friend. I disagree when people say that it's bad for your lover to know everything about you, because the purpose of a long-term relationship is to get to know each other on a deeper and committed level. When you fall for a friend, you know what you're getting into. But at the same time, you'll learn more things about them that could only be shared between a couple.


You are absolutely right.
The problem of this realationship is, that after you break up you maybe loose your friendship you had had before you fell in love
creezalird
I'm also right now trying to make my best friend as my life partner..I don't know yet how I'm gonna do it..But I think I will just spit it out in front of her..
But I'm also afraid she's gonna reject me coz I'm her best fren..And sadly there will be no more friendship between us..Thats really terrifying..
xkobram
creezalird wrote:
I'm also right now trying to make my best friend as my life partner..I don't know yet how I'm gonna do it..But I think I will just spit it out in front of her..
But I'm also afraid she's gonna reject me coz I'm her best fren..And sadly there will be no more friendship between us..Thats really terrifying..


If she become your life partner, it woukld be OK, but if something went wrong, you would lost your friend
shaggz2dope
It is easier to fall in love with a friend because you allow them to get so close that they learn more then you could possibly ever let someone else know. It all just depends on what type of friendship you and the other person have had but you can pretty much fall in love with anyone at any given momment. Love gets hard but your friend is always there to help you and you eventually start wondering about doing things with your friend thats been there for so long and it makes you want to love them even more that they are there for you. Embarassed Twisted Evil Laughing
shrinkwrap
Yeah... It kind of sucks but it's kind of okay because just being with her makes me happy.

First we were friends, then we dated, and now we're best friends. And now I love her romantically again in addition to loving her as a friend. Maybe it's because we're so comfortable with each other. We even cuddle sometimes, haha. But she just wants to be friends. And I'm so glad that once I told her I liked her again she just said "No... But we're still great friends, right?" and everything was back to where it was before. Man. Where am I ever gonna find someone else like that, huh? But yeah. I love her very much, especially as a friend, though.
frozenhead
I have a besfriend now and haven't been to that point but who knows, in the future I might ask her out. For now, I'm happy being her bestfriend.
BlockUp
molif wrote:
ever fall in love with your own best friend..??

Heh, I think this is happening to me...
What's weird is that this is the first time I've admitted it...
just-in
If you are in love with your close friend then you miss a girl in your life man.

since your friend is already close to you... she will be there always with you as friend... whenever you need so why to create another relationship in a relationship.

Leave your close friends as they are with you. Lover or life partner... lookout for someone else guys...



Hope I said what I wanted to say... Smile
drumming_my_own_beat
Falling in love with my best friend was actually the greatest experience in my life so far.

From the day we met, we just automatically had this connection and by that night it seemed as if we knew each other forever. =]

We went out 4 times, it kept breaking off for pretty much the same reason. He had to move a lot, so the distance was extremely hard. I have to say though, despite it all, he was the best boyfriend I've ever had. He was my first love. And him and I have only gotten closer as best friends rather than split apart! He truely knows me better than anyone and the same goes with my for him. He couldn't hurt me anymore and didn't want to break my heart, and we both knew that if things were different [as in if we lived close by from the start] we could've lasted a life time. It was too hard, we're still only young adults anyway. Although we moved on mentally, our hearts will always love each other forever. We made a promise the day we first went out. "I promise I'll always be with you, weither as your best friend or more" and that promise, to me, means more than anything in this universe. No matter what, he calls me his other half and I call him my other half. We'll forever have that connection. =]

We took the dive, we gave our love a shot.
In the end though, we've created a strong bond of friendship.

No regrets at all. Just memories and a love that will never die. =]


Thats a bit long, but yea. I could write pages about Our Story. hahah
MyBonnie
I have a best friend I have fallen in love with. As previously mentioned... I found it just happened. I didn't mean for it to happen... and I am so scared to tell him because I do not want to lose our friendship. You see, I am in a relationship that is in the process of breaking up. And, I am confused if whether or not the reason for the break up is because of my feelings for my friend. I cannot imagine my life without him, and I am pretty sure he feels the same way, and we have never acted on it because I was unavailable. However, I am confused still because I love my partner, and am considering trying to work it out. This is where it gets confusing, because I still want my best friend in my life, but not the feelings. It gets harder and harder to see him everytime, when all I want to do his hold him. One suggestion I got, and I'll admit it's what my head is saying, is to not see him anymore. However, my heart is telling me different, and looking at it, I cannot imagine doing it. This person is very important to me, and I could never hurt them like that. Not talking to them would feel like I am abandoning them... I am scared to tell him how I feel, and I guess I know I should just to let him know where I am coming from... I do not want to lose this friendship.. it's crazy because before we used to just meet with friends, and then we started talking more. We are soo much alike, and have simillar backgrounds..... it was so easy to be myself with him, and I did not feel like he judged me, he accepted me for me. I am so scared that I am going to lose him because I let myself fall in love with him... Any suggestions???? Anybody go through something similar??
daferx
lol, that was the very bad thing youve done.. lol..

nwiez.. its really bad coz you treated some girls like object.. you must consider some girls side or feelings..

i dunno what i am talking about..






lolx


but anyways.. maybe its ok.. if you stop..
jmlworld
molif wrote:
ever fall in love with your own best friend..??


Yeah, I once upon a time I lived my best friend, we were in another country far from homeland and she was really prettier than she was in home land, so my soul whispered to me "This is the girl you were waiting for years!" Loll..

But, alas! I think, love with best friend will never last, this is because, she/he knows you mre than the other girls!
Cool Cool![/quote]
Ducksteina
I also felt in love with my best female friend and well, now we are a couple Smile
It's not impossible...
Da Rossa
This is not as complicated as the ladies want it to be. This thing happens, and it's is more natural than the average people can accept.

I've fallen in love with a classmate once. I didn't know her, so I began the friendly approach. I successfully became her friend. Then, a long time is wasted until I make the real approach. It was too late for two reasons: 1- She was already with somebody, but I didn't care, I felt so much love for her that I was up to engage in a conflict; and second, and most important: she had already developed a feeling of friendship towards me. She said that "it wouldn't be worth to throw away our friendship" <--bullsh*t. It's absolutely no big deal. I could still be her friend, and even more: I was here, available, ready to make her the happiest girl in the world. Shame on her.

Did you see how stupid women are in this aspect? They waste REALLY good opportunities, like the one to be with a trusted person, but no, they choose the S.O.B's instead. After that they begin the suffering and don't know why.
molif
it isn't impossible.. in fact, once you have fallen in love, you will go all out to treasure it..
tempdbs
Hurray .....! Never commit this mistake...

Friends can't become partners and Love/Friendship will never long lasts as you proceed in future.
Da Rossa
tempdbs wrote:
Hurray .....! Never commit this mistake...

Friends can't become partners and Love/Friendship will never long lasts as you proceed in future.


I think that the 'mistake' is exactly thinking like that. Why can't they?
tempdbs
Da Rossa wrote:

I think that the 'mistake' is exactly thinking like that. Why can't they?


Da Rossa-
You mean to say I am thinking ODD.. Rolling Eyes
Da Rossa
tempdbs wrote:
Da Rossa wrote:

I think that the 'mistake' is exactly thinking like that. Why can't they?


Da Rossa-
You mean to say I am thinking ODD.. Rolling Eyes


Sorry but I didn't get it. I don't understand certain acronyms. What I meant to say is that a line of thought like yours - and millions of women - is very sad.
allhopedeleted
in some ways i think your girlfriend is my best friend

tbh i just avoid trying to go out with my friends as much as possible, just so it doesnt wreck the friendship
missdixy
Been there. Done that.
Turned out terribly screwed up one time, but wonderful another.

So I guess it just depends.
Teri
molif wrote:
ever fall in love with your own best friend..??

some ppl think its not a good thing to fall in love with someone who already know you so well and its not healthy for the relationship..

to me, ive already fall in love with my own best friend, so far, from a friend, to a best friend and now, my sweetheart.. i couldnt be more happier..

she is everything i need.. in terms of ANYTHING..

so, anyone here dating ur best friend..??


Hi, I don't know if I am supposed to start above or below this entry. Let me know. As for best friends--absolutely. My husband and I have been together for 17 years and married for 15. We now have 2 boys 6 and 4. The boys are brilliant but more than a handful. we used to be best friends and would stay up alnight talking and playing darts, cards, pool, etc. We became best friends and I would have never dreamed about getting romantically involved and then one day it happened. I think it gave us a terrific foundation but after this many years and some hardships we aren't what we were. We don't communicate like we used to. Keep that in mind and maybe try harder to keep that going. I guess I'm realizing that I need to put alot more work into my marriage and romance and maybe slack off some on school, business, and kids. I don't know how to balance it all. Any suggestions?
mike_phi
Falling in love with your best freind can happen quite easily seeing that you have most of the basic requirements of a relationship covered right at the start (i.e. share, care, respect communication, trust, fun etc etc), If the feeling is mutual this could lead to a really fullfilling relationship, I personally about 75% of my relationships has been with best freinds or close freinds as girlfreinds, not intentionally it just sort of happens, and best freinds and close freinds does not imply I dated my kindergarden group of freinds one by one, I travel allot and in the various cities and countries one tends to make allot of new best friends and close freinds ; ) .

I guess one gets to feel a real strong bond when you hook up with a best freind and for me the feeling has always been mutual, you reach a point when you know your feelings are more than just freinds and you also realise that the other person feels similar, its easy to tell as you know each other quite well already.

I would advise it, it takes things to different levels
supjapscrapper
This is the eternal subject you know, actually generally it is not so good and doesn't work well if you fall in love with your best friend, even if all the first examples have shown the opposite. This said, it can happen that the natural evolution of a love relationship, goes through thephases of friend, best friend and then lover, and they can even last very long if no reminiscences of the friendship time come back, that is, if no drama or whatsoever happens and then one remembers the times of friendship where everything was cool, and then concludes that the best for both parties is to become freinds again...it's a go or break thing you know... This really depends on the personalities and emotional profiles of people..... I just hope the best for everybody and that they are going to open eyes wide and not miss the love of their life.... this happens so rarely when one looks at divorce rates in our society.
indianinworld
some ppl think its not a good thing to fall in love with someone who already know you so well and its not healthy for the relationship..

It is illogical to fall in Love with somebody whom you dont know Very Happy.

And there is no point in falling in love with a person whom you dont know. Unfortunately you going to live with the Character for the rest of the live (if it is true love) and not with Beauty or Money or Physical fixtures.

Happy Loving...
azbuky
I think that falling in love with your best friend isn't such a healthy thing to do... First of all, there is a very high chance that the "love" you think you feel for him/her is only in your mind. It may not be real, because it can be induced by the way you get along with your friend. What I'm trying to say is that, when it comes to a very tight friendship between a man and a woman, you can easily confuse this with love. Then again, there are so many relationships that don't function.... I won't give my friendship with a person for something that might destroy it! Because there's nothing more likely to destroy a perfectly good friendship than a great romance!
azbuky
Sorry, it was "There's nothing better than a great romance to ruin a perfectly good friendship" (A Lot Like Love)
azbuky
MyBonnie wrote:
I have a best friend I have fallen in love with. As previously mentioned... I found it just happened. I didn't mean for it to happen... and I am so scared to tell him because I do not want to lose our friendship. You see, I am in a relationship that is in the process of breaking up. And, I am confused if whether or not the reason for the break up is because of my feelings for my friend. I cannot imagine my life without him, and I am pretty sure he feels the same way, and we have never acted on it because I was unavailable. However, I am confused still because I love my partner, and am considering trying to work it out. This is where it gets confusing, because I still want my best friend in my life, but not the feelings. It gets harder and harder to see him everytime, when all I want to do his hold him. One suggestion I got, and I'll admit it's what my head is saying, is to not see him anymore. However, my heart is telling me different, and looking at it, I cannot imagine doing it. This person is very important to me, and I could never hurt them like that. Not talking to them would feel like I am abandoning them... I am scared to tell him how I feel, and I guess I know I should just to let him know where I am coming from... I do not want to lose this friendship.. it's crazy because before we used to just meet with friends, and then we started talking more. We are soo much alike, and have simillar backgrounds..... it was so easy to be myself with him, and I did not feel like he judged me, he accepted me for me. I am so scared that I am going to lose him because I let myself fall in love with him... Any suggestions???? Anybody go through something similar??


I got through something like this... and I choose to tell my best friend what my feelings were... And now, after almost 2 years, I am so sorry I did that... I've lost my friend... And the person I loved will never be the same again, even if we are still together... I was very unsure of what I was feeling, I didn't know who I loved more... I didn't know who I wanted to be with... And I hurt their feelings and mine too. My advice is not to tell them everything! Don't make them pass through the incertitude you are passing right now. Give it time. Things will work out, eventually. They always do. Just DON'T HURT THEM, because you'll never be able to get over it, you'll always feel guilty and the relationships that you have with both of them will never be the same again. Never!
bhioux
Well, I think we all have different lucks. It once happened to me, I asked my best friend out and it turned-out to be a sour experience.

I vowed I would never allow that experience to repeat itself, but day after day I still wish we got on well. Honestly speaking, I agree that it is one of the good things that can happen to a guy, if I have that opportunity again, I will be more careful.
queenbee1986
I think it's o.k to fall in love with a friend. You do run the risk of loosing a good friend but that's the risk you have to be willing to take to gain a lover and friend for life. I had a relationship with a guy that I've been knowing all my life and it didn't work out but we are still friends today. Sometimes it's hard to here him talk about other females and he doesn't like to hear me talk about other guys but we both have a place in each other's heart that no one else can fill. It does depend on the people involved because everyone can't do that and go back to being friends.
tony
molif wrote:
im guessing having ur best friend as your love ones is amazing..


it is Smile i am there now Smile
windrei
No, once i fell in love with a friend, but she is not my best friend. i just wanted to be close to her and take care of her, wanna protect her, wanna make her smile, wanna make her happy. But finally i did not tell her my feeling, as i thought it's better to keep the friendship with her instead of changing it to love relationship. Now we are still friends, and best friend i think. i will not love her anymore because i already met my true love. That's fate.
Sphaerenkern
Well, I think falling in love with the best friend is, in my opinion, the best way to a relationship - you know each other, know how the other one feels and so on... And, it works for me Smile
Mannix
molif wrote:
true... if the relationship fails, there is no way that we can go back who were used to be as best friends...


That is true. So I would ask if it's time to play the romance card now or not. ...You might wait until you both have enough experience and are at a point in your lives were you could marry if it came to that. I certainly wouldn't throw it away in a matter of satisfying adolescent hormones. ...I don't know how old you are. ...In alot of ways, it makes a difference. Are you two ready to settle down?
russel26
im not yet experience well fell in love with bestfriend
edzofcit
Loving a best friend is very common. It's because in every problems you have, your best friend is always there for you. Whenever you're lonely and sad, best friend is always there. That's why it is very easy to be in love with your best friend.

As for me, My girlfriend is my best friend. I love her so much, she's always there for me, let's just say for thick and thin. hehe.. We've been together for almost four years now and is very content for what we have.
luzenkock
edited
asim
Hi,

i have been in love with my best fren.... now she is not with me.... one istake and she is gone.... i still curse myself for that day... Evil or Very Mad
mimsxmassacre
This is quiet common! Basically love is never at first site. That is infatuation love is when you come to know some good qualities of person and start respecting him/her for the qualities. you start feeling secured with him or feel happy .you start thinking about him and gradually have a feeling you will not be able to live without him/her or any feeling similar to that.
thats love!
Guelila
yep....
I had a really really close friend, a girl who I grew up together since we were very young.
When we were young, she was just like everyone else, a good friend. But as we grew up, hit high school, we were no longer little kids, and she grew up to be a fine girl.
When we were sophomores, I began feeling something for her, and I thought I was in love with her for like 6 months. After all, she was and still is hot Laughing . But I never told her anything, and just kept my feelings for myself.

My relationship with her is kinda weird though. We both had bf/gfs before, and we would give advices to each other and stuff, but we flirt with each other as if we were going out.
We go out on dates and stuff, but we are not having a relationship with each other. If we wanted to, we could probably get together, but we seem to like us as we are right now Smile

Conclusion: dont tell your best friend your true feelings towards her/him. Smile
bikermwtp
Yes it has happened to me once, if only i would have moved faster Crying or Very sad . Everyday I think about her and everyday i regret not telling her how i felt. Now she is going with my (who i thought was my best) friend. (Friends don't go behind friends backs) He knew I really liked her and knew i wanted to ask her out but he went to her one day and asked her out. He was not even interested he done that just to get me mad. I wish she knew how two faced he is!!! Mad Mad
CaptainOkami
haha im one of those people who cant help but say what they feel
so of course i told my best friend i was in love with him
and, being my best friend, he explained he didnt feel the same way and we went on as usual
only i reminded him from every time we were together how i felt and he always reacted the same
it wasnt unpleasant at all, ...until he took advantage of my feelings when i was drunk
...but besides that! haha we're still good friends except i hit him whenever he starts telling me about some girl he likes Evil or Very Mad
black1029
i have best friend and she doesnt know what feeling i have for her... but someday i propose a courtship for her then she decline me its hurt for me but in couples of months she called me and asking some date so as friend so i accept her invitation.. then after dinner she ask me if i love her so definitely i answered her question YES!! then she said sorry for my silly attitude... shae love me too... i really happy right now...
nivre
the reason why is that you think you'll be more compatible wid her...its not a valid reason for loving someone...even I had fallen before wid my best friend....but we know we love each..but try to choose which one would be better, if to be more than friends or stay the same...
shakib
hum in fact i don't think you decide to love your best friend, it just happens. But yeah, you do have a lot in common normally when you're best friends. or then you just understand the other really easily, which is not given to everybody in some cases. and being with this person all the time and having fun are two things that can lead to loving the other. but i still do not think you "decide" to fall for the other! as this is the unforgetable memories in my mind but now our relation is weak gue to some misunderstanding
bikermwtp
Well I finally took some advice from the forum. There are 2 of my best friends i really like, well i told them both how i felt, now they both trust me more than they do themselves, they told me they have never had someone accually comeout and tell them that kind if thing, they said if i was brave enough to do it i must good either really in love or crazy for them!! So now i when and told them and now the one girls sister who is a year younger than her said she wants a man like me!! so now i have three girls that wont leave me allown now and really badly want me, they tell me this!!!!!! If thats not good enough now people are really starting to notice me and there are a bunch of people that are starting to get togeather with me and hang out. Last night i invited my one friend over and someone found out and thought i was having a prty or something so last night i had 7 girls that really like me over to my place!! um i dont know about what you think but i think this is the best decision of my life!!! Some advice to anyone who has a friend that you really like, TELL HER!!!!! either she will date you, or she will be better friends with you! If you teller her and she just tells you to get away or something along them line she really is not your friend!! If she is your TRUE friend she will understand you and get a gigle out of it and either become closer friends or it will just be over looked and it will continue as if nothing ever happend. Take the advice from the forum TELL HER!!!!!!!!!!
karrupin
I fall in love with one of my guy friend, and I don't even realize it until he is left for study..
I feel so depressed for this, I've been so cold hearted to guys (had bad experienced with guy before), and he know about that very well, we are friends after all.. now I confused, should i tell him? I can guess the consequence, example he would laugh at me, arh! it's scared me everytime I imagined it..

Maybe what Guelila is correct,
Quote:
Conclusion: dont tell your best friend your true feelings towards her/him. Smile



but it's really painful to hide this feelings, especially when I hate guys the most. I think he is the only guys i get okay with..
Coen
Never hide your feelings as they will get out eventually, one way or the other. As you cannot control how they'll eventually come out I reccommend to simply tell him how you feel. You might have been cold to him, appologize if you feel you should. If he is your friend (and maybe loves you too) he'll understand for sure. I fell in love with my best friend too. I told her and she told me no but we're still close friends.

Simply tell him how you feel, prevent it from coming out on a moment that you cannot control. Make sure you are in control of when you tell it so you've got a good chance of succes.
JohnCarlo
For me, I believe that friendship is the best foundation of LOVE! True Love is freeing. One can love truly if he truly knows the person he is loving.
kk_loke86
I feel in love with my friend. She is my coursemate and even we rent the same hostel near our university. I have told her that I have fallen in love with her but now it turns out to be.... I losing her as my friend.

She don`t want to talk with me anymore. She treats others just as normal but she just ignore me, don`t want to talk even a single work to me. I feel like, I have losing friendship just for love.

Why this can happen, I don`t understand. I am very sad on this and very dissapointed. Friend and lover, does it really possible. I don`t know.
karrupin
kk_loke86 wrote:
I feel in love with my friend. She is my coursemate and even we rent the same hostel near our university. I have told her that I have fallen in love with her but now it turns out to be.... I losing her as my friend.

She don`t want to talk with me anymore. She treats others just as normal but she just ignore me, don`t want to talk even a single work to me. I feel like, I have losing friendship just for love.

Why this can happen, I don`t understand. I am very sad on this and very dissapointed. Friend and lover, does it really possible. I don`t know.



Erm, I guess she doesn't want to hurt you that she don't know how to reject you, maybe that's the reason why she stop talking to you. Now that I think of it, one of my male classmate ever fall for me too, he confessed to me, then I did what your friend did to you. I stopped talking him, in fact I was actually avoid and ignored him.
The reason is not because I hate him, I don't want to hurt him but I'm afraid to reject him, and I guess that is why we girls acted like that o.O
bikermwtp
I found that the worst thing you can do is to hide your feelings. If you tell her your true feelings than she will know and there will be complete honesty straight up!! She will respect you telling her because than she will know your not trying to hide something.. Most girls can tell if you like them so if you dont tell them i find it makes the friendship ALOT harder because she knows you like her but dont want to tell her. If you tell her than she will respect that you wanted her to know and if she likes you than your all set. If she doesnt like you in that way she will tell you to protend that it never happend. So no matter how it goes it will be better if you tell her!!
Coen
kk_loke86 wrote:
I feel in love with my friend. She is my coursemate and even we rent the same hostel near our university. I have told her that I have fallen in love with her but now it turns out to be.... I losing her as my friend.

She don`t want to talk with me anymore. She treats others just as normal but she just ignore me, don`t want to talk even a single work to me. I feel like, I have losing friendship just for love.

Why this can happen, I don`t understand. I am very sad on this and very dissapointed. Friend and lover, does it really possible. I don`t know.

I think what karrupin said made sense. If I were you I'd wait for a moment if she starts acting normal towards you again. If she doesn't I'd look her up and ask her why she's ignoring you. As she probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings, don't hurt hers while asking. Stay nice and polite and simply tell her it's OK if she doesn't love you but that you do want to stay friends.
I'm not a girl so I can't tell you how she might react but that's what I'd do.
supjapscrapper
This happens to everybody man, I know of hundres of people that experienced such a thing. And quite honestly, I don't think there is any rule about whether it should be good or not. I guess it just depends on whether such a relationship if everything goes wrong can destroy a group of best friends or if if one of the lovers can get over the separation that it makes both suffer ver much, because they would stiill wanna be best friends and see each other very often. so that's it, it's like life, no answers to nothing Very Happy
ovidiuo
Unfortunately she was first my best friend girlfriend and then after they've separated we became very close but not to close perhaps because of that matter.

She is so beautiful and she is still my best friend but she has another guy now and I am still looking.

My time will come.

The thing is in my case the girls that I meet turn out to be best friends and I don't know what is about me?


Question
Coen
You probably have a talent for becoming friends with girls. Nothing to worry about, most of my friends are girls too. Like you said yourself: Your time will come. Just stay calm and see when it comes.
romanice
im planning 2 tell my bestfren dat im falling in love wit her..i've been her bestfren for 5 years now and im accidently noticed im falling 4 her 2 weeks ago when i got jealous..if im her bestfren im not supposed 2 feel dis way,if im her bestfren i shud support her if he find sumbody else dat can take a gud care of her like i always support her in dis past few years..but now what i feel is different than b4..i want to make her smile,happy with me not with sumone else..i tried avoiding her coz i cant stand the way she talk bout sum other guys..i break the rules of our frenship when i fall in love wit her..i became sumbody else,not her fren anymore..so i guess if i dun tell her im gonna lose her coz i cant stand to be near her but yet so far..i cant stand to look at her and feel really hurt deep down under when she talks bout other things..so ihave 2 explain 2 her why acted weird lately n clear things up..wish me luck Confused
Coen
From what I've seen and read it can simply go two ways. Or you will get a perfectly happy relationship or it'll create quite a mess. Although I have a feeling that last thing doesn't happen very often.
biljap
I know that feeling… I felt several times that I fell in love with a friend but after some time I realized that it was not love. Not the kind of love I think it should be.
I think it’s not good to show how you feel unless you are thinking that there is possibility that your friend will feel the same… One of my best friends told me that love me, I wasn’t feeling the same and I felt that I could never think about our relationship being other then friendship… We are still friends but there is a distance…
nivre
never ever jump to the situation easily. it will tend to destroy your friendship. examine your feelings first before running around and telling her/him that you've fallen inlove with him/her. In my cases, my friends dominantly are girls. Guys told me that its better to court my friends because i know them thouroughly, but in my point your just abusing the situation. It does not mean that you are close to your friends can already be love. Its dangerous to paddle around in situation like this. In my experience, i tried to court my friend during our high school days and turn up so badly that even our friendship is affected. If you feel that its really love and your friend feels the same, then you can make your move or maybe the your friend will make a way.
j0yfuln0is3
I am in love with all my friends.

Wow. There are all amazing now I really think about it...



But going back to the topic in context.. aha...
The person I've chosen to be with has always been a friend. I think that if your partner is your best friend, then it is always easier to talk with them about issues, whereas a lot of people in relationships tend to have a friend outside their relationship who they talk to about what's bugging them about their other half.

However, if you are not in a relationship yet, then telling the person your feelings can be incredibly hard. So it is a tricky topic to be honest...
TiffanyTerrorXO
I was dating my best friend.
Until she began to use me for physical things.
Now we aren't dating and we moved on to people we actually care about.
Well i cared about her but she didn't really care about me.
bikermwtp
TiffanyTerrorXO wrote:
I was dating my best friend.
Until she began to use me for physical things.
Now we aren't dating and we moved on to people we actually care about.
Well i cared about her but she didn't really care about me.


I know how that feels!! It has happened to me once. I'm happy i found out early tho because i found out she was just using be too get what she wanted. After i found that out we had a very long discussion about it! After i talked to her about it she seen what she was doing after the fact. After the situation we only became closer too me. Still too this day she wants me more and more, she is trying too prove to me she is sorry and it wont happen again, but i tell her if it happened once (even if they say it wont) it will more than likely happen again! She is trying to prove to me we are perfect for each other, and other than that incident there is nothing wrong with her!! Personally i think she is the most amazing person i have met! I cant seem to get over that one time tho! Sad Personally she is everything i ever wanted but like i said just that one thing set me right off her. I dont know what i should do about it! I really want to be with her soo bad and she wants too be with me, but only that one thing!! So i don't know... This kinda thing is never easy!!
artemishunter
Have I ever fallen in love with a best friend?

I have developed these sorts of problems for as long as I can remember! I always fall for my friends, at least temporarily. Its happened on a fairly consistent basis, actually. Razz

I think it might be partially due to the fact that I am attracted to people who also meet my best friends requirements (they seem to be inextricably intertwined). And the fact that my best friends are all guys.

When I got to college, I had a crush on this guy from the moment I met him and found out he was a Joss Whedon fan. We even planned on going out on a date (I asked him). Sadness and rejection and ridiculous self-drama aside, we eventually became best friends! Luckily he has just enough personalities traits that really bother me to keep me from ever wanting to actually date him! We're actually going to be sharing an apartment with another friend this coming year...

...I'm holding out hope that this won't rekindle anything irritating like interest again. Razz
cvkien
i always wanted to have my best friend as my girl friend. because we like each other, then only we can become best friend. but i'm not sure if we love each other, cause i'll scared she will reject because we use to be friend, and so i think maybe she would have the same feeling. and that make us, and most of the best friend maintain to be friend.
thuyhanh
Personally, I think this can swing both ways...

If both parties (you and her/ or you and him) feel the same way, I think it would be awesome. You guys already know each other's quirks and bad habits, so you don't really have to learn much about him/her. However, in the slight chance that things don't go right, and things don't turn up ok, you have the potential to mess everything up and lose a best friend...

I guess its hard... its a hard call.. but lately I've been thinking about the fact that life is too short to worry about such things.. you just have to do what you feel is right, or what you feel is best, and go for it. Sometimes whats right and whats best arent the same... and sometimes they are..
risicakes
he's two years older than me and we were introduced as friends and team mates for this lame ocean competition. then after we started to get closer and hung out more often. Laughing so we were best friends and loved each other as friends. however, we never saw it coming that we would like each other. but now that we are together, we finish each others sentences, share clothes (well i just take them...), and drive around LA together. i couldn't have found anyone so perfect and cute... hes so cute. Wink
jcvincent75
My girlfriend was once my best friend. I don't think that it's true about what they say that it's not healthy for a relationship that you two know each other very well. For me, having your girl friend know who you really are and deciding to love you just as you are seems so sweet. I mean if you want a healthy relationship, why hide your true self to your girl friend? Right? I'm with the author of this thread.

Stay cool man!

Regards!
kristine
my friend and his best friend feel in love with each other.Until now there been together for about 3yrs.
chaddabox3
life sucks
Coen
I see your problem. I think it depends on whether you want this or not. Remember that a secret like this will come out eventually. The main problem for both of you probably is that you don't want to offend your ex and his best friend, which is hard. You two will just have to talk it over and consider things, I guess.
jenss
molif wrote:
true... if the relationship fails, there is no way that we can go back who were used to be as best friends...


I disagree. But you should have the conversation before you get serious. If you were intimate and things didn't work so well could you go back to being friends? Would it be ok if you or she dated someone else after you went back to being friends? If the answers are yes then it's fine. I'm still friends with many of my ex's. Strangely it's only the ones that broke up with me - I think guys just can't take rejection.
jenss
artemishunter wrote:

...I'm holding out hope that this won't rekindle anything irritating like interest again. Razz


If you start to have those thoughts just remind yourself of all of the stuff that annoys you about him. If you start to decide they are not that big of a deal then you will really know that you are falling for him.
Fenlock
i think it's a wonderful thing, as, i know everything about her, and she knows everything about me.
me410
Not necessarily, many times a good relationship must based more in friendship than in passion, you can't knows everithing of some else, but if you are very compatible from start, you can love more deeper.
styles
This is my first time ever doing this.

Ok, I'm falling for my friend. She means the world to me. We work together. After work I miss her. I can't stop thinking of her. Thinking of her smile makes my day. However, she met someone and is moving to fast. The guy has kids and they now live together. She wants a family. It kills me to see her with him but he makes her smile. I don't know what to do. I wish I was the one making her smile. I wish I knew how she felt. I know I should man up and say something but that would be selfish on my part. And I seen many friendships go to sh*ts for those feelings.

What do I do?
shkhanal
falling in love with best friend is not bad thing and it won't produce any bad on relationship. But I doubt marrying with whom you love might cause problems in relationship.
deanhills
romanice wrote:
im planning 2 tell my bestfren dat im falling in love wit her..i've been her bestfren for 5 years now and im accidently noticed im falling 4 her 2 weeks ago when i got jealous..if im her bestfren im not supposed 2 feel dis way,if im her bestfren i shud support her if he find sumbody else dat can take a gud care of her like i always support her in dis past few years..but now what i feel is different than b4..i want to make her smile,happy with me not with sumone else..i tried avoiding her coz i cant stand the way she talk bout sum other guys..i break the rules of our frenship when i fall in love wit her..i became sumbody else,not her fren anymore..so i guess if i dun tell her im gonna lose her coz i cant stand to be near her but yet so far..i cant stand to look at her and feel really hurt deep down under when she talks bout other things..so ihave 2 explain 2 her why acted weird lately n clear things up..wish me luck Confused


Remember: best friends can also be jealous, they do not have to be involved with one another to have those kind of feelings. Also it is easier for best friends to communicate with another. You most probably have your best friend's luck too, so am sure the discussion will go very well. Don't be upset if she bursts out laughing though Smile I have a feeling this is going to come as a tremendous surprise to her. She would never have shared her views about other guys with you if she had an inkling of what had been going on in your mind. Maybe in the end you will have to laugh with her. That is the good part about best friends, you can sort things out quite easily and also sort out one another.
ptfrances
I think that such a situation is nice if you reach to be with your best friend at the end but could be also really frustrating if you don't manage to be patient and give much of yourself.
mejo1900
I am dating someone who used to be a pretty good friend and it works really, really well. That being said, dating a best friend can be really scary because breaking up can mean the end to your friendship. I have also found that if you date a best friend you are waay more likely to become over obsessed and ignore other friends.
Parkour_Jarrod
Yeah i am couldnt be happier it feels right, liek we were made for each other, i only wish i could spend more time with her, we both made a pack when it ends(if it ends) taht we will stay friends no matter what
wab11287
Well about 4 years ago I started to get a lot closer with one of my good friends and we would always hang out together at each others houses. We were both in High School at the time and had a good amount of free time. We would go out to the movies and stuff together some times with other friends and some times without. After a while we seemed to just get closer and we ended up sort of dating. Neither of us really said if we were dating or not and it was just a little weird because we were such good friends. The whole dating thing only lasted about two months and then I had to move away for college. After that we still talk on the computer but only as friends. I am engaged and she has a boy friend so we can say that we both took our own way and dont feel anything about it anymore.
furtasacra
Two cents from a forty-two year old woman ... I have had four long-term relationships, the first one starting when I was 19. (I'm defining long-term as two years or more, by the way. The longest was 10 years.)

All of those long and deeply rewarding relationships started as close friendships that grew into something more profound and intense. I've had a few romances that began with falling in love with somebody I didn't know very well, and they all fizzled out in months, or even weeks.

The obvious problem with getting into a romantic relationship with your best friend is that if things go south, you might be out of a best friend... and since really good friends don't just drop into your lap every day, it can be horribly painful. You're not just losing the romance, you've lost your best friend's shoulder to cry on when it happens.

The advantage of falling in love with your best friend is that you don't have to worry about falling right back OUT of love again due to unforeseen incompatibilities. Your best friend already knows, and either shares or tolerates your views on politics and religion; and probably shares many of your tastes in music, books, movies, TV and food. Your best friend already knows your quirks, faults, bad habits, and ugly secrets, and loves you anyway.
stuckinaditch
I Fell in Love with my bestfriend and i've never been the same since - i've had to back away coz I can't stand seeing him with other women or asking him about his relationships.

I'd had my heart completely broken - i miss understood some of our friendship for something more and enjoyed his company so much I thought he must feel the same.

But no de didn't he's explained that he'd never see me like that - I was absolulately devastated and i'm still getting over it 3 years later...

I still see him as a friend and go round about once a week for a catch up but we stay away from subjects our love lifes as it hurts me too much...

It's awful and i'd recommend not doing it.. only if you know that they feel the same - I was so sure he must do - we'd been flirting for about a year before I told him how I felt and didn't get the response I wanted.
shamankiing
i do fallen in love with my good friend...
But being rejected... Crying or Very sad
bsbteng
I think you should carefully treat with the realationship of the best friend. The best friend isn't always the best lover.
Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad
Omega-hotelomega
This happened to me once , unfortunately there was no sexual attraction to me on the other persons side , lead to a lot of Jealousy and heartache before something " gave " and i stopped wanting them .. happily we're now friends again and i wouldn't touch em with a bargepole ! Very Happy
Jamestf347
I went out with my best friend, it was a good relationship at first but it began to slide. So it all depends if you have the same feeling strongly about eachother. But don't give up if she/he doesn't ... they'll most likely end up feeling the same way sooner or later (if you are really a good friend). : )
gerliw
Well, i used to date with my best girl friend about two years ago,i thing you will find the way to tell her that something isn`t good and it will be happen alone.
steve1200
At the Age of 14 - 15 I had a relationship with a really good friend. (Not my best, but even very good).
It had last for 6 months I think. For this age, it's quite long i would say.

We've known each other very well, and that was good. It's a wonderful memory and I don't want to miss it.

Now, I love my best friend, but I don't know, if I want to date her...
paskifire
oh my god it brings me back to old times. When i confessed to my girl bestfriend, It turned out that the feeling is not mutual. Im rejected and i will never do it again ever.
LennaBear810
Excuse me I kind of need help...I'm a girl and I've been going out for my best friend for almost 1 month he said hes been physically attracted to me for about 8 months...we say i love u to each other as best friends what are the chances of us falling in love with each other? Everybody tells me we will but I don't know what are the chances well fall in love?
bapmedclinic
I think you absolutely have to marry your best friend. Or, I guess I should say that the person you marry needs to be your best friend. I hate it when I man gets married and asks a girl to be his "best man" because she is his best friend. And vice versa. A marriage cannot be sustained if you have a best friend of the opposite sex.
jessicafuellgraf
I was so high I did not recognize
The fire burning in her eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind
Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane
Never to return again
But always in my heart

This love has taken it�s toll on me
She said goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won�t say goodbye anymore

I tried my best to feed her appetite
Keep her coming every night
So hard to keep her satisfied
Kept playing love like it was just a game
Pretending to feel the same
Then turn around and leave again

This love has taken it�s toll on me
She said goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won�t say goodbye anymore

I�ll fix these broken things
Repair your broken wings
And make sure everything�s alright
My pressure on her hips
Sinking my fingertips
Into every inch of you
Cause I know that�s what you want me to do
Fanghai
well the way I see it
your significant other should be like a best friend anyway
so this shouldn't be weird...
programitv
I was dating my best friends.. it was wonderful for how long it lasted, but as it was a distance relationship, didn`t work for too long. The separation was very painful, as besides loosing a partner, I lost a friend..
aakash_88
true you fall in love when you are least expecte to and to whom you are least expected to ...But if somehow it is your best friend it is the best thing that can ever happen to you ... Only if you can convey oyur message at the correct timing and your friend is ready for it if not you might end up losing both the relatinships and really get badly hurt.....
Insanity
There's a lot at stake if you date a good friend... if things don't work out, then it might be awkward or even worse when you break up. You could lose a good friend. I know this because it has happened to a friend of mine before, and their friendship was never the same.
omoobagreat
Falling in love with one's best friend i think is the best, having known each other for a while, knowing what each other likes and dislikes before coming together in love will make their love to start on a better platform
babarus
From my point of view is a good think if you are friends befor to be lovers.
I-love-him
well we're the best buds with our friends. he used to wait me outside on our class room. he was my best friend. well I used to say "i love you" and he's giving it back to me. not knowing the times that I have kissed him on the cheek, and the times that we hugged means something to me, I didn't know that it would make me love him. He's the most lovable guy that I have ever met! after a month of vacation, we go back to school and surprisingly he was on my class. I didn't mind that feeling for 3 months until I found out that I really love him. I felt sorry for myself because he loved somebody else, but as a girl, my pride grows. at first I gave him letters that I never felt that he was my best friend. I didn't know what to do. he sends me messages. It was like breaking-up. we never talk for a month and then I felt strange when he's looking at me. not just looking. he's staring.

again I wanted to talk to him so I give him another letter, a letter that says that I wanted to talk to him and I wanted for us to be friends again. until I found myself thinking about him all day. on the last day of our classes which is last Friday, I have given him another letter that I love him since then and the reason why I reject him all the time is because I don't want to love him and surprisingly again, he said that "why didn't she tell me back then? I should have focused on her." and my friend told me, he said that "I love her more than a best friend, more than my family."

EmbarassedI was flattered yet irritated. until now we haven't talk about it much.

'Confused'I really don't know what to do. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE!!
Sweetgurl
[color=indigo]Its been nearly one year that i have come close to that guy which i consider to be one of my closest friend!! At first i thought it was just a friend like everyone but gradually he became more than that to me. I felt i did not need any friend any longer, he meant everything. Among all the guys i have known he is the one who is damn different. I started to realise that may be i am falling in love with him specifically when i find him giving attention to other girls or if he was not making laugh as usual! The problem is that he does not give a sign about his feelings, what should i do, am pretty much confused and feeling hurt at times.
HELP ME. Sad
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proyectosGT
Well, I think that if you have been friend of your lover BEFORE be boyfriends, there's a better chance that make success in the relationship. It doesn't mean that oppositive side doesn't work, but with a best friend, you have opportunities to show exactly as you are, and that's preciousless. I hope that you have very years of happiness with your lover. And excuse me my english. I'm still learning it.
Tsubasathira
I USED TO GO TO PAINTING CLASS AND HAD A CUTE GUY FRIEND THERE. HE QUIT CLASS AND I DISCOVERED THAT I LIKED HIM, BUT BY THEN, IT WAS TOO LATE. SO, OTHERS WHO HAVE A CHANCE, GIVE IT ALL YOU'VE GOT.
sudipbanerjee
I think there is nothing bad if best friend become lover. Actually I have the same experience. I always learnt in co-education school and later in college, University. So I have many friends (actually speaking Girlfriend) but I have no such feelings against them. But exception was one. She was not my schoolmate but live in the same area where I live. we were in the same class also. we were good friend also. One of her cousin was a good friend of mine also. In our high-school days I realize I have some feelings towards her. I began to love her. But alas! she is already engazed. I said nothing to her. But our friendship grows time to time. Both of us have some common hobbies, likeness, dislikeness. We share each and everything of our life to each other. After 2-3 yaers I got the news that now she is free because her lover ditch her. she was very upset at that time and as a best friend I am trying to help her to overcome this tragedy. We came more closer at that time. One of our common friend knows my original feelings about her from the high-school days. he is now insisting me tell her everything. But I scared if I teel her truth she become more upset at that time and our friendship will be in danger. But oneday with some courage I tell her all. She said nothing neither positive nor negative. But after someday we realized there is something above friendship between us. Without saying anything we starts our love life. This was the final year of our college life. This year and the first of our University life was the best day in my life. When we was in the second year of Masters she died in an accident but still I loves her. Now I am mariied and my wife knows about my past realtion.
I think when best friend becomes lover it is more sweety because love is also a friendship. Isn't it?
ultrahandstandman
I fell in with a friend 2 years ago. We broke up and got back together 3 times. We are best friends. I still love her. After another year I asked if she still had feelings for me. She said yes. It is scary being in a relationship with your best friend. It was definetly scary for me. She's been out with very few guys after me. I was the one who made her happy, the one who kept her safe, and the one who kept her smiling. Isn't that what a best friend is? The one person in the world that you can depend on without the worry of he/she judging you? I was that person to her and I still am that person to her. She has not found a guy who can provide for her the way that I have. Every guy she has been with has treated her like shit. Physically abused her. I would never in my life think about hurting her. She is everything that I have and she is everything that I need. She is my oxygen. I can not live without her.
DixiePixie
I am helplessly in Love with my best friend. And I have been for 4 years. He's breathtaking, in every way. I do everything with him, yet I fall even harder, even deeper into Love with him every time. Embarassed I can't help it....I Love being with him. He tells me I'm gorgeous, so maybe I have a chance....Hmm. He tells me everything, and I just can't....get enough of him, I guess. God, help me. Pray
tinajacobs
When you decide to take action, you should know that with it comes the risk of losing everything. You risk your friendship, and it can never go back to the way it is. You might think it's okay if you can't have her as someone special, you're perfectly happy going back to being best friends, but that's not the way it'll happen. If she says no, if she's shocked, anything, your closeness is, for the most part, gone.
smit_alumni
I am too! she knows what i need more than what i want! she can make me see things from a new perspective. the best part of dating your best friend is that you have a certain level of transparency which cannot be acheived by many even in 10 yrs by others.
jilbs
molif wrote:
true... if the relationship fails, there is no way that we can go back who were used to be as best friends...


i agree. this is the risk of making your best friend your girlfriend or boyfriend. but if the relationship succeed, it is the most magical and most rewarding relationship.
jpayee
You become bestfriend because there is much more than a friend. anyone feel it
smit_alumni
DixiePixie wrote:
I am helplessly in Love with my best friend. And I have been for 4 years. He's breathtaking, in every way. I do everything with him, yet I fall even harder, even deeper into Love with him every time. Embarassed I can't help it....I Love being with him. He tells me I'm gorgeous, so maybe I have a chance....Hmm. He tells me everything, and I just can't....get enough of him, I guess. God, help me. Pray
well your situation is more like mine just that i am a guy! she is gorgious! so one fine day i took her to the top of a hill and held her hand, told her about my feelings for her and we've been together for the last 5 years and never have we been in a major fight that we have not been able to work out of!(touch wood) so put your courage together and say it out loud to him tell him that you love him and how much you love him he'll know it just right b'coz he's your best friend and that is the best part of it all.
blog_inforama
It is important that the one you love is your best friend. If not then you are missing on a huge thing. She should be able to trust you with everything and any thing at all. it is all in how much you communicate with him/her. this is really important.
icechild
Yes!!!
Happened to me three years back, i lost the friendship and the relationship because she felt like i was taking advantage of our friendship to want to date her.
Gave me a BIG NO!!!
And that was that, we still friends though but not as it used to be. Sad Crying or Very sad
clan4
An existing relationship helps a lot in dating. Your best friend have known so much about you and this will help in keeping the relationship as you already know the do's and dont's of each other, thereby making sure you don't err. Love grows from likeness and a best friend is someone you already like witha passion so I think it will be nice having an affair with such a one. Thanks for reading......
fr3ak
babarus wrote:
From my point of view is a good think if you are friends befor to be lovers.

Agreed, it can be really nice then Smile

But, also I agree with this.
jilbs wrote:
molif wrote:
true... if the relationship fails, there is no way that we can go back who were used to be as best friends...


i agree. this is the risk of making your best friend your girlfriend or boyfriend. but if the relationship succeed, it is the most magical and most rewarding relationship.



Even I had positive experience with this. We were falling in love and had some feelings that surpass friendly feelings, but after few months of avoidance and not talking to each other, somehow our friendship was ok for some time, but not as before, then again we didn't talked for some time, but now we are almost good as before. I say almost, but I think it's not because of that falling in love, but it's because some other things. But we are really good friends still, we can talk about anything and we are totally free with each other.
macky
i have never been in love with my best friend at all she is like a sister to me
Nani93
Dude, I seriously need help,
i feel like im currently falling in love with my best friend but won't admit it to my self, mainly because im afraid it will ruin our friendship...
i've known him for only 6 months but i feel like we communicate so amazingly well.. like he can really understand what i'm trying to say, or what i feel without me saying it... it's like eyes can talk..

but seriously.. i wouldnt risk losing this over any kind of relationship... WHAT THE ******** SHOULD I DO!?
mshafiq
One on my friend is in the same situation. He is in love with her best friend. So is the girl. I know them. The girl is divorced but probably did not spend even a single night.
The problem is they want to get married.
BUT the problem is parents of the boy do not agree at all. Their major reason to oppose is the age of the girl. She is at about 5 years older. They both apparently are aged (around 30). As you know parents always have soft corner for their boys, the age of their son is not an issue at all. Or at least do not want to marry him to girl of 5 years older in age.
By the way, financially they (both) are in very good condition and perusing a successful career. Both wanted to get marry as they want to enjoy as they do not want to sleep together before marriage.
In February, boy is going to meet his parents (as they do not live in same country), so let us see what happens.
What do you think? Should he obey parents or get marry with the girl..?
macky
i have my best friend and we were very close to each other we always tell a story to each other

about my girlfriend and other stuff....but my girlfriend got jealous and that is the time that our friendship

got end....
greamelexon
The friendship is based on true love. Perfectly normal and healthy development of such a relationship with a friend. Some people are afraid of losing the friendship if the relationship ends, but I think it depends on how you are as a person.
xoxoily
So I've been best friends with my best friend for almost 5 years. I've NEVER had any kind of feeling for him, but now.....i dont even know! I like him soooo much but theres a BIG problem. Both him and I are in commited relationships. Not that we've done anything, but I'm starting to feel something for him. The friends I've told are mad at. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, but I havnt felt this way in a while. I dont know what to do......
Alexia
!
Quote:
So I've been best friends with my best friend for almost 5 years. I've NEVER had any kind of feeling for him, but now.....i dont even know!



Ok so me too. His my best friend since i was born. I've never felt something for him but know i'm completely lost !!! And + he is in love with a girl and when talks about it he kind of hurts me and i don't know wht to do ?!
foxguy121
I wish i could tell you if it is a good idea or not but i'm too nervous to ask my best friend out....
Though i can tell you i think it would be amazing. She is almost the exact opposite of me but we click together easily. I met her accidentally at school and we talked for 2 hours and became the closest friends you could think of, of course her brother called us bonnie and clyde. We have known each other for 3 years after this saturday and i still feel i should ask her out sometime but i cant get up the courage to do it....
The best advice i can give you is to take a chance, Carpedium, Sieze the day
syj824
best friends turn into lovers,it can be really nice
surekha1976
Dear friend

Yes this is true you best friend can be your lover. But in most of the cases love is not successful so you are lucky person that your best friend is your hubby or sweetheart.

Now love is passion and only today love is not actual love only attraction.
rogue_skydragon
surekha1976 wrote:
Dear friend

Yes this is true you best friend can be your lover. But in most of the cases love is not successful so you are lucky person that your best friend is your hubby or sweetheart.

Now love is passion and only today love is not actual love only attraction.


I completely agree. Love today is based primarily on passion and attraction. Friendship may develop over time from this, but rarely is a relationship born from friendship.
bukaida
Friendship is one of requirements of love. But the most important is the responsibility. So it is not always good idea to mix up the lover and the best friend. However there must be a good friendship between you and your better half for the relationship to continue.
GoldenEagle
My girlfriend and I started out as best friends in college (obviously I thought she was super-cute, hence why I introduced myself). We started hanging out a lot and we completely fell for each other. We hung out and around each other for all 4 years of college and once we graduated we moved in together. 5 years after we met and we're still together and having a blast in the real world. The secret to our success is that we're super friends. Ultimately this is what's important as physical appearances can only go so far...
josh67
i have been best friends with a girl for 2 years and iv always seen her as more of a sister figure, but then we had a fight and didnt talk for a couple months, but when we did start talking again 3 months ago i relized i was completely inlove with her, and i didnt tell her, i told my best mate and a week later he kissed her, i completely lost it and he ended up in hospital, i told her how i felt and at first she said i was more like a brother, and she didnt want anything to come between us, but i didnt quit, and have been hanging out with here for two and a half months every day after work, and every bit of spare time weve had, and on saturday i kissed her and everynight this week and she told me she loved me tonight, although it was the hardest thing of my life, its starting to pay off, shes so amazing and beautiful in so many ways, im happy for the first time in so long.
davidv
Unfortunately, my best friend is of the same sex and I certainly don't steer that way and I sure hope he doesn't either because things might get awkward... not that I'm opposed of the same sex... My perspective on falling in love with your best friend is on the positive side because of many reasons.

Look at it this way, best friends are loyal so you know that none of that sneaky business would occur. Going out but not telling you where they've been, avoiding you because of x,y or z. Not to mention, because they're your best friend, you already trust them so there's no initial barriers which need to be overcome during the first few weeks of the relationship.

People you hang around generally have similar interests and your best friend is no exception. This leads to loads of advantages over couples that aren't best friend, initially. Things like not having any indecisions as to where to go on a date, which movie to choose between when at the cinema or what kind of gift to give them for their birthday/anniversary/memorable dates the whole shebang. These issues would already of been covered prior to even being a couple.

A lot of the time, people are worried that their partner would lose interest in them because as we know life sucks and shit happens but by being in a relationship with your best friend, the chances are much lower. There are no sudden undesired discoveries or really anything for that matter because they're your best friend and they've in a way "passed a test" before they even began the relationship.

However, all this said there are some negatives. Because they're your best friend, you know way too much about them and they know much about you. This means that there's rarely ever going to be any new or unexpected things you might learn about them... I for one get excited when I learn something new about my gf. It's something I didn't know but now I do and I can take that into account for future encounters. Then again... as time passes, even the most polar of couples eventually learn everything there is to learn about their partner, you know... if they're committed which some obviously aren't...

But yes, negatives aside, I still would want to fall in love with my best friend if they were of course, the opposite sex. That would definitely be ideal. If not, 2nd best would be to fall in love with a really close friend. Which I did and got screwed over, thing is though, I'd do it all again if I had another chance.

So yeah, that's my 2 cents.
Machilles89
i fell in love with ma best friend who is a lady.Things though are weird btn us.
asim
molif wrote:
ever fall in love with your own best friend..??

some ppl think its not a good thing to fall in love with someone who already know you so well and its not healthy for the relationship..

to me, ive already fall in love with my own best friend, so far, from a friend, to a best friend and now, my sweetheart.. i couldnt be more happier..

she is everything i need.. in terms of ANYTHING..

so, anyone here dating ur best friend..??


i recently felled in love with my best friend, actually she was my cousin, we have known each other and shared a very good relationship for more than 20 yrs, she lives in a different state. I always thought that she had a boyfriend, but lately i came to know that she was never in a relationship, so i asked her out. she replied yes but in a different manner. She said she loves me and had always but as a cousin. what do you think, can i ask her again.
kristen_marie
it's been almost 11 months that i've fallen in love with my best friend. the first time i met him was the first time i started to like him. he is different from other guys that i know and i love that. we share the same definition of love and we, mostly he, flirt with each other. we hug, tickle, laugh, smile, tease, talk, walk, hang out with each other. we have some of the same friends that we hang out with so when people would invite me to places, and he would be going, he would beg for me to come and wouldn't take no for an answer. we are always sitting next to each other whenever we hang out and we always have a good time. i've been trying to hint at him these past few days that i like him but he is not getting the point:P he is so smart yet so dumb to realize how much i like him. so this thursday i'm planning on telling him how i feel. maybe something good will happen..or not. i told him i was afraid of telling the guy i like that i like him because he is my best friend and i was afraid of what he might say. and i wouldn't want to lose him as a friend. he told me that the guy wouldn't be a good friend if he freaked out when i would tell him i like him. and when he said that i was like "so he wouldn't freak out if i told him?" so i'm guessing he wouldn't because we are really close friends. so my plan is to just tell him...as much as i don't want to ruin our friendship...i'm going to say "you are the guy i've liked for so long.." and we'll see what happens... this is the first time i've ever admitted to someone that i like them. well...here we go.
shivaghimire
Someone becomes best among friends when he/she's habit and behavior is well noticed and liked. Its good, not only good its very good, excellent to be in love with best friend because his/ her behavior is well known then others. So happy to be in relation with best friend.
rebeccam
For those guys who fell for their best friend, was there ever a time when you told her, no way? What changed, when did you realize you could?
friho
i think it's normal to fall in love with best friends. in my friends ,there are many of them become lovers from friends. i both ever fall in lovr with my friends. but unfortunately,he refuse me and choose my best friend . i once sad for a long time and hate my friend but now i has forgive them
Nygurlswaggerandherboo
Oh yeah it was romantics started at 8th grade and ninth

It like this we would do group work and knowing me I like to work with the guys but then he was there the joy of a life time

He would smile...that smile could make me melt I was sitting in the middle of the group with all of his friends and I scoffed closer to him so that I can work with him more

He would rub my legs and put his hands on mine.

That started our eight grade romance

In history one day we got to sit anywhere I was gonna sit with my best friend Sharon but he called me over to sit by him so I did he sat and then moved to the seat by me, then I would put my hands in my desk and he put his hands in the same desk, then he rubbed my leg and make me feel so good being by his side.

Then we carried on to the next year and so we was in the same math class again and he would look at me with those brown eyes of his (:
Greatking
Lets get the bad out of the way first. A problem with falling in love with your best friend is that you may find it difficult to conceal your emotions until you are ready to make them clear on your terms.


This can lead to you acting awkward and different around them and creating a strange atmosphere. If you find this starting to happen you should try to talk to somebody about it in order to get an idea about how you really feel.


Obviously your best friend would be the one you would normally talk to this about but in this case pick somebody you can trust first. Then speak to your best friend and get a fell for what they are thinking. You don't want to rush in too quickly because that could harm the friendship.


Another problem with falling in love with your best friend is that you have already gone through the first 50 dates and that intial spark or chemistry may be missing.


A bit of romance may also be lost because you are bound to have seen each other at your worst. The biggest problem is if you break up and lose the friendship altogether.


This is the biggest fear and there is no way to know it won't happen but perhaps it's worth the risk.
Greatking
You already feel completely comfortable around them and they know most of the worst things about you. If they are still willing to stay with you then you know you are on to a winner.


The spark could be a completely different feeling to anything you have ever experienced before. Normally the chemistry is instant but with somebody you have known a long time then tis new sensation can be really exciting and even if it fades you know each other so well that you still have other aspects of a realionship to enjoy.


You both know each other really well, probably get on with your families and are easily compatible if you are best friends. You can trust this person completely and be secure with them. This, above all else, maybe the biggest pro of falling in love with your best friend.
maxxypane
No, never. I have never fall in love with my best friend. I like her friendship very much. I think I'm nothing without her. She take care of me every time. She is also likes me but not like that.
music10
Well, I have liked my best guy friend since third grade, and I am now 15. I recently found out that he has liked me for awhile too. The only problem is I have a boyfriend right now. I don't know who to choose. The guy I've liked since I was little or the guy I'm currently dating whom I haven't known that long? Sad
answernote
molif wrote:
ever fall in love with your own best friend..??

some ppl think its not a good thing to fall in love with someone who already know you so well and its not healthy for the relationship..

to me, ive already fall in love with my own best friend, so far, from a friend, to a best friend and now, my sweetheart.. i couldnt be more happier..

she is everything i need.. in terms of ANYTHING..

so, anyone here dating ur best friend..??




I just dont know what to do about my best friend. i love her more than anything in this life, but she wouldnt even listen to me when i am telling her, i cant think of any one else, i definitely want to get married to my best friend.
brandon02852
yes. it is one of the best kids of love (feeling-wise)
codersfriend
No I never did that.. I always put them on my friendship zone Smile
Coen
Although it may work for some people it has never worked for me. The two friends I fell in love with valued our friendship too much and weren't interested in me romantically. I do think it can work, though. People who do it should just be prepared for the fact that if things do not work out in the end it may be impossible to go back to 'how it was before'.

answernote wrote:
I just dont know what to do about my best friend. i love her more than anything in this life, but she wouldnt even listen to me when i am telling her, i cant think of any one else, i definitely want to get married to my best friend.

Have you ever considered asking her out or trying to get her into a situation where you know that she has to listen to you? I am not saying that you should try to force yourself on her, don't get me wrong, but if you really have feelings that are that strong then you should get them out, because I don't think it's wise to keep them bottled up. Plus you need to find out what the situation is, and if she shares these feelings (or if she does not).
codersfriend
just take your time. Just because you've been friends for years doesn't guarantee that she will feel the same way. It's like you're going to start from scratch again. You're going to fall in line with her suitors despite that you're friends. Maybe you're bonus points against your rivals is that she already knows you but that does not always count.
kolastreet
go ahead ... if it was bad desition it will appear any way but you need to wait for answers cause you might lose your relation with her for ever some girls thinks that aboy can be only afriend or bestfriend but cant be my love because bestfriends almost know my heir life and they thinks they only like brothers and sisters
other wise take care Smile
supermario123
known my bestfriend for 3 years, just recently i've been attracted to her suddenly. Kinda weird there will be times she calls me babe, etc., but times it seems like shes just a friend I dont want to lose her as a friend, yet I dont know if there is something more between us. Any advice?
lilysc1
Yes. I've been married to my best friend for 15 years now.
Coen
supermario123 wrote:
known my bestfriend for 3 years, just recently i've been attracted to her suddenly. Kinda weird there will be times she calls me babe, etc., but times it seems like shes just a friend I dont want to lose her as a friend, yet I dont know if there is something more between us. Any advice?

I would try to figure out what you want first before you do anything. Are you willing to try and see if there is more at the risk of changing things? I fell in love with two of my better friends, both were not interested in me romantically and we are still friends so trying does not have to mean the end of your friendship per se. When you know what you would like to do you can try to pursue those goals by asking her out for instance, or by not doing anything (depending on what you decide to do).
codersfriend
time to change your ways..
stop being a wacko Smile
zenbasen
I hope one of you guys can give me some advice, good or bad idc, anything advice will help me at this moment, well anyways, i realy realy like this girl, well i feel like its love because i can't get her out of my mind, but we are like bestfriends and she started to like me alittle bit and what not but she still is inlove with this guy she dated. i was there for her when she needed me and when they broke up i supported her and stuff, im soo nice to her, i never hurt her and i never gave her a problem, we get along soo well and we can talk to eachother about anything, we tryed to date and i felt perfectly fine with her, but the problems was she felt weird because we wer like bestfriends then started to date, soo we broke up and now we still are friends but i wana go back out with her and make her not feel weird and fall in love with me like im inlove with her, idk what to do....
zenbasen
I forgot to mention, she loves both me and this other guy but she is like inlove with him and loves me as a bestfriend, but has some feelings for me.
Spinner87
In the last four months I have been falling more and more for my best friend. Problem is I am already in a relationship. To top it off they work together. I hear of a lot of relationships who began as best friends and ended up married. I just don't know what to do in my situation. Is it just because were best friends...or are we meant to be?
johans
this is cool.. same thing happened to Kate and Prince William -- perfect one.

I found this post since 2006 started and read all the post and exchange opinion are very nice.. ohh Relationships Forums, sometimes nice if you are in good condition or inlove but sometimes bad if your feelings are not good.. well this is LIFE.

Very Happy
therimalaya
Congratulation, That is a great start of happy life. I was in love with my best friend and she is my wife now. We are happy and expecting a boy soon. Love with a best friend has many advantages. You have good understanding of your partner and that will help you in realizing each others feeling. In life never think whether s(he) has done any mistake and what s(he) is doing, rather you have to think what i'm doing and how is s(he) feeling. That is the secrete to a happy life.
Best of Luck
donoob88
well, me yes, me and my girlfriend are formerly best friends, well, she propose that we should be best friends since i just talking or something to her like a friend, then it's started to be more than friend, that why she made me one of her best friends.. after months that we been together, she feels so happy to be with me, when i ask if she wants me to be her boyfriend, then she say yes.. but from the beginning i don't intend her to be my friend, i want to be her boyfriend right away. anyway, it is okay, since that's what we are now Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
cele
HELP PLEASE!
I don't know what to do... I am in a new relationship (only just four weeks) and my best friend (a guy) just got out of his six-month relationship with another of my really good friends. I have known him for five years now, and I think I only just realised how much I love him. I just don't know what to do because;
- I don't know if he considers me as more than his best friend or not
- His now ex-girlfriend is one of my best friends
- I'm new in a relationship with someone and I don't want to hurt the guy cause he cares so much about me
- I see both guys and the ex-girlfriend every day at school and it kills me!
please, any advice would be great! I can't talk to any friends cause they're all mutual friends with the guy, his ex, and my "boyfriend"...
please help!
mm365
molif wrote:
ever fall in love with your own best friend..??

some ppl think its not a good thing to fall in love with someone who already know you so well and its not healthy for the relationship..

to me, ive already fall in love with my own best friend, so far, from a friend, to a best friend and now, my sweetheart.. i couldnt be more happier..

she is everything i need.. in terms of ANYTHING..

so, anyone here dating ur best friend..??


best friend..or lover??... Question hehe
Coen
cele wrote:
HELP PLEASE!
I don't know what to do... I am in a new relationship (only just four weeks) and my best friend (a guy) just got out of his six-month relationship with another of my really good friends. I have known him for five years now, and I think I only just realised how much I love him. I just don't know what to do because;
- I don't know if he considers me as more than his best friend or not
- His now ex-girlfriend is one of my best friends
- I'm new in a relationship with someone and I don't want to hurt the guy cause he cares so much about me
- I see both guys and the ex-girlfriend every day at school and it kills me!
please, any advice would be great! I can't talk to any friends cause they're all mutual friends with the guy, his ex, and my "boyfriend"...
please help!

The way I see it we can split your problem in two parts. One: you are currently in a relationship. And two: you see the people who are involved in this situation on a daily basis and are friends with them. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Well, first of all, a relationship that is kept intact solely because you do not want to hurt the other person's feeling is not a healthy relationship to be in. If you do not you will need to think really carefully about what you want to do. Either ending the relationship or spending time to try and strengthen it are the best ways to go in such a situation, I'd say. And, as much as it may hurt one or both people involved in it, it will always be for the best in the end. You need to truly love the person you are in a relationship with, in my opinion.

As for the other part of your problem (seeing all the people involved daily): say your friend and you are truly in love with each other and want to start something. In such a case, it would be wrong for anyone to try and get between that. True, they may not like the situation, but they will have to accept it because you do not stop love.

I think you have some thinking to do. If you want to try and pursue your friend and are sure that you are not in love with your current boyfriend then you should consider ending your current relationship. It is the fairest to everyone involved. If the opinions of your friends matter much to you then consider what might happen if you do get into a relationship with your friend and see if you want that to happen and if it would be a situation could be okay with in the end. Finally, also consider that your friend may not have feelings for you.

The situation you are in sounds complex, but if you think it over and try and get an overview of it then making a decision should be easier. I have tried to help you with that, and I hope I succeeded. Good luck.
sanjaya200
well there is a calculated risk in it. only risk is that if you two brake up you will never be friends a gain.

its hard for two lovers to be friends a gain and pretend as if you never kissed each other, never had sex, or never sheared personnel feelings. and be friends a gain and tell your friend that you date anther oh how will that feel. but that's the dark side,

see the good side, your best friend knows all your likings, all your secrets and all your disliking. he/she accepts all these and fall in love with you, so there is a small chance of this relation ship to brake. and a big possibility that this relationships will succeed.
johannespilz
cele wrote:
HELP PLEASE!
I don't know what to do... I am in a new relationship (only just four weeks) and my best friend (a guy) just got out of his six-month relationship with another of my really good friends. I have known him for five years now, and I think I only just realised how much I love him. I just don't know what to do because;
- I don't know if he considers me as more than his best friend or not
- His now ex-girlfriend is one of my best friends
- I'm new in a relationship with someone and I don't want to hurt the guy cause he cares so much about me
- I see both guys and the ex-girlfriend every day at school and it kills me!
please, any advice would be great! I can't talk to any friends cause they're all mutual friends with the guy, his ex, and my "boyfriend"...
please help!



i think getting together with one of your friends friend is only causing problems. and let's face it. there are probably millions of other people in your city. why does it have to be this one? the only problem is that u know him/her so well so u get into him/her. if u start looking out for others u might see how many attractive people there are and stop with this idea. but of course, if u think it has to be "the one" go for it. but dont care so much about the new guy u are with. same thing, follow your needs. if u think about another guy the current is not the right anyway and u should do what fullfills your needs. this current guy will never do so maybe being alone is even better?
Radar
I think it's always going to depend on the situation and the people.

It's been a premise for romance in movies for a while, which i think tells you that it is a, awkward and uncomfortable, and b, a dream shared by some.
mic1332
4yrs ago i met whom i believe is my perfect match who also became my bestfriend... she has been a relationship this entire time, but i couldnt stop myself from Falling in Love. I too have been in a relationship for the past three years, and ive always felt something missing... ive recently been hanging out w/ my bestfiend more than we usually do w/ our busy lives, and i just couldnt take it anymore... ive realized that im completely in love with her.... ive decided to break my silence because it wasnt fair to her that i would come in & out of her life when i felt hurt. She hasnt tried to talk to me about it, which i completely understand. Im hurting , but i feel soooo amazing letting it out. We may never be together, and thats something i need to learn , but being in love with her has been an AMAZING experience ... just knowing you could love that way is great. Ill be positive that ill be blessed with a new love if she isnt the one for me.
dreampanchani
yes I fall in lv wid my best frn....bt I know i cant get him...he also lvs me alot...he proposed me bt I refused...bcoz I know we will never be 1...bcoz I cant hurt my parents ever...he lvs me alottttttttttttttt I know bt I keep telling him dat I never loved him...n u r just my best frn...nothing else...bt I lv him truly..I cant let him unhappy...I encourage him 2 fall in lv , believe in lv again wid sm1else...bcoz I want 2 see him happy...I will not say ever 2 him dat I lv him so so much....bcoz if i'll say dan I cant face him ...he willl never forget me if he will know dat i lv hiim...he tried very much 2 make me understand dat i m also in lv wid him though I refused...I pray he get a best girl in his life who will lv him so much....I lv u so much best frn...I m sry I cant tell u..Bcoz I want u 2 see happy... Crying or Very sad ....the best thing or may be worst is dat we dont know each other face 2 face bt truly fall in lv by heart...the worst thing is dat I cannot say him ever in my life dat I lvd him so much...he will rmain in my heart always...I lv u best frn.. Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad[/b]
busman
benjmd wrote:
If you are not married to the person who is truly your best friend then you are married to the wrong person.

Friendship is the foundation of real love. It is totally normal and healthy to develop that sort of relationship with a friend. Some people are scared of losing a friendship if the relationship ends, but I think that depends on who you are as a person. Are you selfish and if things end will you be mean, jealous, or clingy? Or are you a true friend and if things end will you continue to share yourself with that person as a friend?

I think if you are a good friend and a good person, giving the relationship a try shouldn't hurt things in the end.


This is wise beyond words. Learn this and live it truly.
nepalstar
Wow..! It seems great...! but till now I haven't got that kind of chance to fall in love with my best friend.. . but I have heard this kind of relationship in my school & college. I think it's better to be fall in love with someone to whom you know than fall in love with that person to whom you don't know well. best of luck for you guys who are thinking to fall in love with your best friend....!
busman
nepalstar wrote:
Wow..! It seems great...! but till now I haven't got that kind of chance to fall in love with my best friend


That shouldn't be a goal of yours, unless you are already in love with that person. What I thought was wise about that post was the fact that once you find the one for you, THEY should be your best friend because your relationship will be much stronger with someone you find to be your best friend Very Happy
thefame
I've already falled in love with my best-friend, but it's very weird. Think about that fact: the day you'll loose this person, you'll loose a lover and a best-friend. Double hurt. not a good idea I guess...
likeabreeze
Fall in love with your best friend?
Does S/he do the same?
If so, go ahead.
If not, give up.
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