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what if you like/love somebody who has a boy/girlfriend?





ppalayo
That's a problem for me.
I really like a girl who has a boyfriend and that relationship is OK.
That girl is amazing and I don't know what to do.
Any opinion?
mike_phi
ok morally and living the good clean life I would say the answer is easy, get over your infatuation and get on with life, as soon as you remove your fixation from her you will realize others around you but for as long as you remain fixated and sort of "in love"(i.e in the shes great way) you will walk around with blinkers.

But I must admit the above mentioned answer is very tough to live by, and if more people took this approach of respecting the next persons relationship there would be allot less problems and devorce.

A sort of softer yet also real approach is to maintain yet control your feelings this is hard as you are not allowed to express them in a relationship harming way but in other ways if you managed to maintian these feelings and sort of stay close to her without making any moves let nature take its course and if she sees you purely as a freind and she is truely happy in her current realtionship you will still have her as a lovely and pleasant freind, if she has not truely found happines in her relationship her own instincts will steer her and destinư can take charge if you are meant to be togehter.

Good Luck cheers Mic
genchan
I think most if not all have gone through what you are going through. When you say amazing, is it only physical appearance or something more? Is this infatuation like puppy love or something deeper? Well 'if you say you don't know what to do', I take it that you are blindly in love that could just be an infatuation.

Do you know her bf as well? It makes it harder if the bf of the girl you like is your friend. Its best not to interrupt their relationship as you probably wouldn't want someone to interrupt yours when you have one. But if you have the guts, why not tell her how you feel and see what she says.

Sometimes a rejection can help you get over her quicker than just lurking in the dark Smile ... or you might just get lucky Wink
benjmd
If you care deeply about this girl, then you will want her to be happy. You should accept it if her relationship makes her happy and encourage her to enjoy it. That's the way I look at it. Sure it's frustrating when you really think the person is wonderful, but being able to care for their happiness and make that #1 in this case is the way to go. If, on the other hand, the relationship is bad or abusive, you should help her find her way out as any good friend would do. Just be sure that you aren't just putting your interests above hers - that's no way to try and start your own relationship with her!
m00tmuffin
If you have any respect for her, you'll back off and stop nurturing any romantic ideations about this girl. Don't hit on her, don't compliment her too much, don't spend too much time with her alone, and so on. It's hard to do, but the less you're around her, the easier it'll be for you to move on and quell your infatuation with her. Don't step into their business at all. You'll only make a mess of problems for her and her boyfriend. So out of respect for her as well as looking out for her wellbeing, leave your crush on her at the door--and if you're still into her if/when they break up, give her some space and time, and then try to persue her at a later point.
ppalayo
I say she is amazing because I get on well with her. She is a really nice person but you know what the problem is. Sad
I think you are right, she is happy now and if something can happen between us in the future, it would be great.
I just want to be a good friend.
I don't know if you agree with me but someone can be a good friend but bad girl/boyfriend.
Thanks
Wink
Codeman1
The exact same thing is happening to me my friend had a bf and i reallllllllyyy like her and I am losing my mind. What should I do.
benjmd
Codeman1 wrote:
The exact same thing is happening to me my friend had a bf and i reallllllllyyy like her and I am losing my mind. What should I do.


Just see my post above. If you really care about her, you'll care about her happiness and decide to let go of those romantic feelings so that you can be a good friend and she can continue enjoying her relationship without complications.

Let me ask you this: Would you marry this girl today? Commit TODAY to spending the rest of your life with her? Is your affection for her so distinct that you will never been able to love another person? I suspect the answer is no to those questions, if you're really honest with yourself. There will be other girls. Savor the opportunity to have her as a treasured friend and preserve that by letting go of the romantic stuff.

Meeting the love of one's life is tricky business, but one thing that's easy about it: the love of your life should be someone willing to love you back just as much! You'll find that eventually. Until then, there's always porn. Wink
Keran
I've got the same problem u have, i like a girl but she has a boyfriend (but he looks like a she ;p ). But that doesn't stop me, i'm trying my best to win her over ;>
She has a boyfriend and she isn't completely happy with him, so i'm playing a good friend atm, but every now or then i try to be more than a friend Wink So it's step by step to me, soon i will reach my goal.

My advise to you is that if you really feel that you two will match very well, or you will be able to handle her, even better than her current boyfriend then you shouldn't give up.
sodredge
Shocked Wow do you guys hear yourselves ? Yes we are guys though do we have to prove women right before we get our feet out of the door. You wonder why women always call men "dogs". It seems that you guys are trying to substantiate reasons to glorify breaking other people up.

If you seriously at any time were thinking about the girl/woman in this and what would make her happy then you would not be talking like this. Though you are not thinking about her at all, I would dare say most of you are thinking with your pants alone,

Here is a good example, what is she drops her boyfriend to be with you or worse she hooks up with you while she is with him. What is to stop her from doing the same thing to you ? It's great to talk about the cheat until you are the one dumped or cheated on.

If you serious like the woman for more than her hot bod, respect her enough not to hurt her with your own personal gain in mind. Cool I sound like my parents. OMG I am so old now. Very Happy Very Happy
cavey
Unless she breaks up with her boyfriend - back off!

There is no wonder there are so many divorces today, when people do not respect that two people are together.

Yes, I do realize that it takes two to tango. But even if she would do something with you, does not mean that she would not regret it later, loose the man/boy she really loves, for someone she got a little temperary crush on, or very flattered by.

If she breaks up with him (without your "help") - go for it!

--

Is she already in love with you? Tell her to break up with him if she wants to be with you - then go for it!
ppalayo
If you cannot be with a girl/boy now, maybe all you need is time.
I will do that, I just wanna be a good friend and maybe I will have a happier future (with her obviously).
Wink
I will just wait. While waiting I maybe meet other amazing girl.
Smile
tingkagol
ppalayo wrote:
That's a problem for me.
I really like a girl who has a boyfriend and that relationship is OK.
That girl is amazing and I don't know what to do.
Any opinion?

don't intrude, but keep communications open. Hope, but don't do it too much. It's not like she's married anyway, so yea, you still have a chance.
Subsonic Sound
Look at it from this other guy's perspective. Imagine you're in a relationship with a wonderful girl, and it's going well, but some other guy keeps hitting on her.

Now personally... if someone hits on my girlfriend, and they didn't know she's taken, that's fair enough. Can't expect people to be psychic. They'll find out, apologise, and everything's fine.

If they KNOW she's taken and keep hitting on her, well firstly it shows quite some arrogance on their part, and secondly, they're liable to get hit. And probably not by me, either. (Bless her. :p)
TheDarkLord
I've known my GF since the day I was born (or the day SHE was born??? Oh dammit Im dead I forgot her BDay) becuz we were family friends if I found someone hitting on her...

...I would hit them.
Zaini
I'm happily married, with a adorable 3 yrs old son, and I'm falling in love with someone girlfriend. And I think she is falling in love with me also. we know that our relationship. if we decide to continue with our feeling, will be difficult and we will hurt a lot of feelings.

But, it is hard to resist the attraction and we keep falling toward each others..

Dilemma...
tyrant
Zaini. You have a 3 year old son. Who is more important your flesh & blood or some chick you wanna sleep with or you think you love.Don't forget you wife and why you married her.
Zaini
I wish I'm not in this kind of position. I'm use to hate people who have 2 or 3 wifes or girlfriend. I always believe there should only 1 soul partner in our life. But when I'm in the situation, I think I understand why some people have more than 1 partner.

Now, I understand why in Islam, Allah allowed men to have 4 wifes and why polygamy is accepted in Islam.

I never try to cheat on my wife and I never try to look for another lovers, but it's just happen. I try to avoid it, but funny things about our feeling, the more we try to avoid it, the stronger it become.

I dont want to be like this, but it is proof hard to avoid. It is easier said than done. Now, I just wish and I really hope that my feeling toward her is not love but lust... It would make thing easy
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