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My parents






Should you feel obligated to support your parents?
Yes
51%
 51%  [ 18 ]
No
11%
 11%  [ 4 ]
Depents on the situation (If so, list situation)
37%
 37%  [ 13 ]
Total Votes : 35

Morutea
Hello all,

It is my first post Smile

I want your thoughts on this:
Do you feel that because your parents may have supported you when you were younger, that you "owe" it to them to support them now?


(Pay the bills they run up etc, just because they did it for you when you were younger and unable to work)


Thanks.
scotty
You should feel obliged to support your parents. However, you don't owe it to them to pay their bills. If they are having trouble paying them or something, yes you should pay them if you can but otherwise I doubt paying their bills will really show how much you appreciate what they did for you. Buy them a nice present if you want to return the money.
LukeakaDanish
No. (though i answered "depending on the situation")

When they decided to have kids, they knew it wasent going to be free.

Of course you should respect them and try to help them if they're in trouble, however they can never expect you to do it.

The reward for being a parent is seing your kids grow up - not easy money...Smile
Blaster
It really depends. If they where good parents and where always there for you and helped you pay through college and all then yea maybe if they need it. But its kind of sad when you have to depend on your kids to help you out. This is sort of like my family. My uncle is the only one with good credit out of the house he lives in (with my grandmom and grandpop) so he has to pay for there cars and all. So i would say know to that however if they where sick and you have to pay medical bills then yea it is alright.
TeenZine
Morutea wrote:
Hello all,

It is my first post Smile

I want your thoughts on this:
Do you feel that because your parents may have supported you when you were younger, that you "owe" it to them to support them now?


(Pay the bills they run up etc, just because they did it for you when you were younger and unable to work)


Thanks.


I think it depends should you be a billionair OF COURSE.
Should you be strugling to pay your own bills no.

They shouldn't live off of your income
SO you should help when possible but still make them use some of there sav ings.
Indyan
I guess, in India things are quite different from the west.
Here, generally the parents stays with their male child even after marriage, and the children are expected to take care of them. Not only financially but otherwise. And I am quite glad its like that. After, working hard all their life they should be able to spend their old age with comfort.
spider
I would do anything for my mother now,, I used to do drugs, get into huge fights, and drink alot... my father used to beat us kids, and I mean we had to fight with our fists... I quit school, and really put alot of stress, worry, and termoil on my mothers heart... no, I dont have anything to do with my father today,, even though we live in the same town,,, but my mother was always there for me, even if I didnt need it,,, my wife got me off the drugs, liquor, and havent been in a fight for 2 years now...lol... my mother said i grew up... I keep telling her, no, I just met a woman that oculd beat me up... and she is going to college to be a nurse...lol.. Ive done some really bad things, and many I seriously regret... I just hope my own children dont do the things ive done,,, all I can do is hope for the best, and try to be there for them... like my mother was there for me,,,
and yea, I owe more to my wife than anything,,, but, my mother was there when I didnt have my wife,,, who was actually my girlfriend since the 8th grade in 1991...lol... oh,,, thats dating me,,,lol Im going to be 32 here in december,,, its not a matter of supporting eachother,, but helping eachother out once in a while... if my mother needs some money here and there, yea, ill give it if i have it,, and she does the same for me,,,, right now, im the one in the whole...lol... last year, my mother was behind on her gas bill... so i paid it off, she let it go for 4 months before she told me,,, I spent 350 dollars on her gas bill... she just loaned me 250 3 weeks ago to get into this new home of ours,,, which we rent... you dont want to go overboard and give them everything to where you cant support yourself, but yea, if you have the extra money, and they need it,,, give it,,, but see, my mother and I cant stand oweing eachother money, so as soon as we can pay it back, we do... I know a friend of mine that his mother went and took all his savings and moved in with a guy in another state, taking his truck with her,,, never to repay, or anything,,, and did this while he was at work,, not asking nothing,,,, that is the type of mother not to help out,,,, so, yea, it also depends on what kind of relationship you have... everything is different with everyone... dont get burned,, but if your mother isnt that way, and im assuming your parents arent... yea, help when you can...
frenchy
I think it depends on if both your parents are alive or if they are devorsed or if you still get on with them.

In my case i would take care of my mum when she becomes part of the OAP group, but my dad thats a different story amm together.lol. He can go sing for his help.lol.
S3nd K3ys
That's an interesting twist to this post.

http://www.frihost.com/forums/vt-46586.html

I'm sure I'd support them.
studsstudio
It indeed depends on the situation. In Holland social security is still quite high. My parents have never had a lot of money and they never will and they are used to it. They managed it and are happy that way.
When I was sixteen I did the same job during holidays like what my father does for a living. Me and my two sisters make my parents proud, we all went and are still going to university because of the chances that were given us, unlike my father.
Only if my parents can't keep up their current living standard I will support them. Meanwhile I show them my gratitude for who I am now, and how I am raised, by giving them attention and love; what they have learned me I give them back. That is what I owe them, and what I know is valuable to them.
riv_
If they don't need support, there isn't really a question is there?

If they need support, there isn't really any question, is there?
Ultimately, most of our parents will need support eventually, in some form or another. I just can't see that we have much choice.
kikass
everyone should support his/her parents... we owe it to them... they took it upon themselves to make us as good people as they possibly could... it was a choice that they made.. they could have decided to not give a damn about how we turn out.. not give a damn whether we went to school or not.. not give a damn whether we had a good childhood.. so many things... yes we owe it to them.. we should support them and it doesnt mean financially only.. love, care and just being there when they grow old is a big gesture too..

PS: i read some posts about parents not being good to some members here.. i really cannot make up my mind about what the kids should do in such a situation... thankfully i have wonderful parents who have always supported me.. so there is not much doubt in my mind as to what the correct option is for me..
Inferno619
Yes. It's actually pretty simple. You were obviously unable to work when you were little, but your parents could. However, now they can't, and you can. You should obviously pay them back. And, no, I don't mean helping them every step of the way. I'm sure that your parents could take care of themselves as they can still do things for themselves, unlike when you were a child.

But, if they are having financial troubles and such, then you should help them out by getting them out of that trouble, to make everything right again. You should owe it to your parents to help them out in situations where they are in serious need.
Soulfire
Support them, yes, but I guess I'm not so sure about the bill-paying thing or anything.
etienne
offcourse I will!
jongoldsz
You should support them. That shows that you care about them.
Indyan
The Indian gov is considering passing a law to make it compulsory to take care of old parents, which is a good move in my opinion.
secret_soul
I would support my parents in everything. I mean, they did give me the greatest gift: life. Plus they've looked after me all these years so, when they're old, I'd love to be able to look after them Smile
arkebuzer
I guess it depends on your relationship with your parents... But in my case I have a great relationship with my parents, and they have allways been there for me. So it would be wrong if I wasnt there for them when they need my help.
If your parents aren΄t there for you when you need them, then of course they should not be supriced if you treat them with the same respect.

Indyan: in more ways than economic? I mean, do you have to give the parents some where to live and so on, if they dont have anywhere to live, or do you just have to give them cash enough to survive? (like a pension)

Regards
Dronzar21
Quote:
Yes. It's actually pretty simple. You were obviously unable to work when you were little, but your parents could. However, now they can't, and you can. You should obviously pay them back. And, no, I don't mean helping them every step of the way. I'm sure that your parents could take care of themselves as they can still do things for themselves, unlike when you were a child.

But, if they are having financial troubles and such, then you should help them out by getting them out of that trouble, to make everything right again. You should owe it to your parents to help them out in situations where they are in serious need.


Agreed.
and one thing. I luv my parents.
Manofgames
Ive always had a good relationship with my folks, so yes I will support them, because they have always looked out for me and cared for me.

I wouldn't neccessarily 'Pay the bills' but I'd help as much as humanly possible.
rkgruver
For those that have not had a good relationship with their parents, I'm sorry. Even though our society has become more complex it's hard for be to invision not helping my parents, or my wifes parents out in a time of need. Two things are important to consider: 1) the time in your parents life (their age) 2) Your abilities and successes and naturally 3) the circumstances surrounding their need for help and the type of help they are needing.

I speek of the time in our parents lives when they are retired, older, and/or sick. Speaking from personal experiences. My mother, who passed away in 2004 had developed dementia (Alzhimer's). I felt a real need to be their for her during the years that her dementia progressed. Because of this she was able to stay in her house longer than she could have if I hadn't been around. After she passed I had no bad feelings about our relationsip during her last few years.

This past September my father-in-law died. He had been in the hospital since last December after being hit by a car while walking back to his car in a parking lot. He was a "young 93". His wife, who is 86 was by his side everyday for the past 10 months. My wife and I were there to support them. Even though we had to make many sacrifices it was the right, and only thing to do. His widow needs us now too. Not financially, but for emotional support. And yes we will be there for her to the end.
Rako
I think of it this your parents support you then you support your children and the world goes one. But if your parents can't pay their bills and you can help i think you should help they deserve some thanks just like you would want your children to thank you.
medievalman26
It depends on the situation like if paying for my college takes a big enough toll(I know it will) I might(more likely will) support them.
CyanEyed
i think that you shouldnt feel obliged to help your parents in their old age, but you want to do it, out of your own free will, simply because you love and respect them. they are your parents after all, they should be the most important people in your life
defnet
Now that I have a job that pays good. I give me parent a fixed percentage because our family is going through somewhat financial tough times and the money I earn is way more then I can handle. The rest goes into my savings account. Cool
STYLAN
We should always be obliged to our parents whatever the situation is.
the are the ones who made us come into this world.
solarwind
We should be obligated to help our parents, even though they have committed such a horrible mistake by bringing us into this world. (Well, it's not so bad...)
Utopia GFR
I think you should basically support any people who are in need of support (whether it might be financial or moral).

Some traditional values (in some Asian countries for instance) leave no choice at all to the children but to grant their parents permanent aid no matter their level of income.

Now, the morality of this topic is kind of debatable, while some think that very wealthy parents still need financial assistance (because they consider it as being compulsory), others may first consider the element of cash investment and save their money for their own life purposes.

I think giving your parents full attention as they get older and older by being present and helpful sounds a lot better than spoiling them with non vital goods if they aren't really in need of those artificial treats Smile
Yazz
I say no, pretty much for the same reasons as everyone else. But yeah, if you can afford to help or to support without diminishing your own life and habits, then why not. It'd be just mean to not help out.
valkyrie-heavens
Not really sure if I can answer this. At the time being im living with my aunt till I graduate and move out on my own. But I still talk to my father and I would completely support him 100%. My mother on the other hand...
HoboPelican
Well, I only have my Mom still living and I send her money monthly. If it came to it, I would have her live with me and pay all her bills. Not because she and my Dad spent X amount of bucks in raising me, but because I love her and care about her. For me it's a no brainer.

But I have seen other parents who treated their kids so poorly that I would not be at all adverse to seeing them rot in a poorhouse (they still have those?). A very situational question.
wendy86
Morutea wrote:
Hello all,

It is my first post Smile

I want your thoughts on this:
Do you feel that because your parents may have supported you when you were younger, that you "owe" it to them to support them now?


(Pay the bills they run up etc, just because they did it for you when you were younger and unable to work)


Thanks.

i don't think so...
Zaini
What kind of support ? I don't think at their age, they would care about money anymore. It is more of emotional support, I believe.

It's depend on the upbringing and culture. Our culture (Asians) is respect our elderly and to always remember what our parent did and sacrifice to bring us up to this world. As a Muslim (Islam), our believe is such that Heaven is under our mother feet.

I think if we're old and helpless as our parent later, we also would like our children to at least make an effort to let us know that they love us, right ?
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