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Can you love two people at once?






Can you be in love with two people?
Yes
54%
 54%  [ 39 ]
No
33%
 33%  [ 24 ]
Maybe
12%
 12%  [ 9 ]
Total Votes : 72

Winterborne
I was just curious about what everyone thought. Can one person really love two people at once? this includes any type of preference: homo, bi, hetero, etc....

Explain your answers too. I want to know what reasoning you have behind it.
S3nd K3ys
Winterborne wrote:
I was just curious about what everyone thought. Can one person really love two people at once? this includes any type of preference: homo, bi, hetero, etc....

Explain your answers too. I want to know what reasoning you have behind it.


I love several. My wife, my kids, my family, some friends.

If you're talking strictly sexual, I would also venture to say yes.
meet in rio
I will say now that I have never been in love, and so I may entirely miss the point, but here we go.

Yes, I think so. Just as you can be really great friends with two people; just as you can hate two people; just as you can adore two children equally, I believe you can be in love with two people. Not to say that you wouldn't feel guilty about being with one and not the other, and not to say that I think it's a good idea to love two people, but I certainly think it's possible.
Nikkori
I think I can, but it's not right. I will be confused. I wish I have two hearts!
HoboPelican
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that you can love (romantically) two people. I'm not saying it is a good situation in most cultures, but it happens.

Speaking from personal experience, it can be pretty amazing if all three people feel the same way towards each other. Arguments almost always had an automatic mediator, less housework per person, and there was almost always someone to hang with. I used to think about how they say a three legged stool is the most stable. Might be true if it wasn't so frowned upon by society. Smile
Dezrok
If three people love eachother equally in a relationship, there can't be anything wrong with it, can there?

But I guess it starts getting a bit wrong when one person loves two people and the others don't love in union...
spaz-o
I think you can.

No one's the same, so they're gonna appeal to you in different ways. It's just kinda bad lucky to meet them and fall in love with them at the same time.

But that's romance. You can love like your family and all at the same time.
Jakob [JaWGames]
I believe that as some before me have said, that you can love more than one but it would be very confusing.
I think that I actually have loved two persons at once but then one was a fading love and the other one was a new one becoming stronger.
valkyrie-heavens
I believe its possible.

In my case it was getting feelings for someone who treated me good, but still having feelings for someone I loved prior, and honestly I still do.
Droop
Winterborne wrote:
I was just curious about what everyone thought. Can one person really love two people at once? this includes any type of preference: homo, bi, hetero, etc....

Explain your answers too. I want to know what reasoning you have behind it.


No u cant love 2 ppl at once, it's more like love one and lust for the other!!! True equilibrium of a relationship cant' be shared with another party...
benjmd
Your question doesn't do us much good, as the first responder pointed out, without knowing what you mean by love.

Based on what I think you're referring to...

I think love is wanting nothing but good and happiness for someone and finding oneself, through empathy, tied up in that outcome.

When you extend that to romantic love, the shared hopes for each other develop aspects of both physical and emotional intimacy.

I think the individuality of the emotional and physical intimacy in romantic love, that is to say, the depth of a one-to-one interaction in this way, is unparalleled.

To love two people at one time romantically is to deny both the full depth of intimacy possible in a relationship. "I could never love anyone more than you" or "You are more beautiful than any woman that has ever lived" are examples of things you can't say to a woman who is but one of two partners.

To willfully deny them the full depth of possible intimacy, I think, is a deficit of love. So no, you can't *really* love two people at a time.
mike_phi
No you cant love 2at once, as the way in which I understand love, I think you can love them but it would be unfair to the both of them as both would think you truely deeply madly love them but you would only feel that way for one of them for the other You will have a strong Bond/freind/ lover but not truely madly deeply and therefore for the one you truely love it would be unfair as somewhere deep inside her/his personaly he/she would feel as if he/she where sharing you.


I would say this type of true 3 way equilibrium is imposible when you try to parallel it with human nature, the 3 of you might imagine it while its happening but as soon as the fase passes the group will break up. Even if we try to search for evidence of this in human history its never ever happened that three people meet in their 20s then get maried and live happy ever after, not even close to it as it is not in human emotional nature from a emotional prespective but from a sexual prespective it is evident in more poeple the you might imagine but only from a lust/sexual prespective.

just my thoughts but if it works for you dont let society look down on you as who ever says anything is just jealous of the harmony the tree of you might be experiencing and such close bonds between three entities so just proceed and enjoy

cheers
Mic
roberpro
Yes, of course you can love several people at the same time.You can love each person in a different way.It depends on you and the kind of people that you have a relationship.
watchai
I think loving two people will lead to a seveir headache Laughing . make up ur own mind and enjoy the greatest moment with the one u choose..
xkobram
If you fall in love with two people at once, try to choose only one and it won't make any problems to you!
bangala
Winterborne wrote:
I was just curious about what everyone thought. Can one person really love two people at once? this includes any type of preference: homo, bi, hetero, etc....

Explain your answers too. I want to know what reasoning you have behind it.

If it was about just love, my answer is simply YES. However, I guess you are talking about being engaged in a serious love affair with another partner that may end in a long lasting relationship such as marriage. In such case, my answer is NO. You cannot be faithful iand connected n such relationships to more than one person at the same time.
shrinkwrap
I'm not sure, but I'm not too keen on polyamory.

Love as in friend/family love, of course. If you're talking about that, then I love lots of people! But, loving someone and being *in* love with someone are different things, I think.

But romantically, I don't think I can be in love with more than one person.
saratdear
Before I reply, I think you all should take a look at here

I hope you all looked at it, and maybe posted your comments too. Well I kind of love this girl P, and even though i say I don't like J, when my friends try out their stupid tricks(try to make me and her talk, try to make us meet, etc,etc), I kind of like that. I mean does that mean I like J? I am confused! That is why I voted 'maybe'(wasn't 'maybe' one of the options?)

Well, i was supposed to answer your question, but what I just did was overload you all with all my problems. So, my answer is, maybe. If I got OK with one of them, I could vote no. But I can't make up my mind. But as all of you said here, I am only 13!
Cwin1024
You can love as many people as you love at one time. It is very possible. However, you cannot have more than one romantic relationship at one time. If you are facing this problem, I suggest being honest with both of them, and if you lose them both, at least you haven't lost your dignity. If you do not lose the one you choose to be with, then you have to earn back the trust by always being honest about everything.
sodredge
Shocked Hmm... "here I am the deer in the headlights again"

I am gonna go with "no" on this one. When you truly love someone you give of yourself to them. I do not mean sex nor do I mean love with a family member or a child. I mean love in the way you love a girlfriend or a spouse. That love you give your partner, more so your equal.

I see alot of faiths that say yes to this question, though some form of jealousy always spawns from it. The old attadge of "one man one woman" seem to ring true here.

How can you being in "love" with more than one person, you would be in less that "love" with the other, if that makes any sense. Wink
mimsxmassacre
not unlike how if you have 2 children you can love both at once or love both your parents at the same time, etc. Love is not limited by societally imposed boundaries.

all love should be unconditional, whether it is for your children or your spouse - why can't you develop a loving, trusting relationship with more than one person?
I know you want us all to say it is impossible and wrong, but it happens. There isn't enough love in the world anyway, why impose unnecessary limits?
ainieas
I really don't know for sure about this but I'm in a similar fix. Confused I love my gf but haven't seen/heard from her for quite a while since she's home now. On the other hand I've gotten real close to this other girl whom I really like and we got the world in common between us. I just don't know what/how i feel about either of them anymore. All I know is that it might end up in a real mess and I don't want to hurt either of them. Crying or Very sad Btw, the second girl knows about my gf.
Coen
ainieas wrote:
I really don't know for sure about this but I'm in a similar fix. Confused I love my gf but haven't seen/heard from her for quite a while since she's home now. On the other hand I've gotten real close to this other girl whom I really like and we got the world in common between us. I just don't know what/how i feel about either of them anymore. All I know is that it might end up in a real mess and I don't want to hurt either of them. Crying or Very sad Btw, the second girl knows about my gf.

If she knows about your girlfriend then I wouldn't worry to much at first. She'll respect the fact that you've got a girlfriend. For yourself, however, you'd need to figure out how you feel. Talk about it with people you really trust if you think that'll help and just think about it. That'll probably help.
divya
It's possible love many people.

And it's possible to be sexullay attracted to more than one.

But I think it's quite tough to feel an equal "connection", the kind that perfect partners have, with more than one person...

Different people satisfy different needs in our life.
But if you've found the right life partner, you'll find almost all your needs fulfilled by them...

So to answer your question, yes. And no.
nivre
its true that you can love many people but i voted for no...no in the sense that the level of each love differs from one another, so in the end, you will be loving one person with the bigger and higher feelings you have felt for her/him...
chabates
I think I may be currently in love with 2 people right now.. what should i do?

I have been dating my girlfriend for nearly 6 years, but i am now finding my self falling for her best friend who i have also been friends with a while now!

:s
redhakaw
i am in love with a lot of girls

that includes Elisha Cuthbert and Emmanuelle Chriqui

cant get my mind of 'em
aames_prov356
I think that while you can have a familial love for more than one person, your parents, (siblings?) and friends, I think that it is impossible to actually be in love with two people like 2 women or 2 men at the same time. You might be attracted to or be infatuated with two or more at a time, but you cannot love more than one person. Love is a comittment, not a feeling. True love doesn't end with outer appearances, but extends to personality and other characteristics. Sure two people you love may be great people, but could you truthfully say to them that they are your one and only? If they asked you if they and the other person you 'love' were both in trouble, but you could only save one, who would you pick? Love is unconditional if it is true love. No ifs and ors or buts.
zaira
loving two people at once is very stupid because you don't have a two heart.
You don't know what is the meaning of love if u love two person at once.
Obviosly one of that person you love is true and the one is a lie....
Don't be blind and be real to yourselves...
in this generation LOVE is a simple word that you can't sure if it is emotional or nothing...
ainieas
Coen wrote:
ainieas wrote:
I really don't know for sure about this but I'm in a similar fix. Confused I love my gf but haven't seen/heard from her for quite a while since she's home now. On the other hand I've gotten real close to this other girl whom I really like and we got the world in common between us. I just don't know what/how i feel about either of them anymore. All I know is that it might end up in a real mess and I don't want to hurt either of them. Crying or Very sad Btw, the second girl knows about my gf.

If she knows about your girlfriend then I wouldn't worry to much at first. She'll respect the fact that you've got a girlfriend. For yourself, however, you'd need to figure out how you feel. Talk about it with people you really trust if you think that'll help and just think about it. That'll probably help.


Hmm...I'm still pretty lost. Actuallylot of things have taken place this last week. My gf did come back but not she wants a three year gap, with her concentrating on her studies and all. I haven't told my gf about the other girlin my life but i feel i need to soon. I'm in quite a mess thinking about it all Sad
hope22
anyone who says their IN LOVE with two people at once is only LYING to themself. In my opinion, they are IN love with only one; they just can't break-up with the other for one reason or another (comfort, house, children, money, image...). Now...don't get me wrong, you can LOVE two or more people at once, but you can't be IN love with two people at once. I always say there is a difference when it comes to love and IN LOVE.

my quote: many say that love is a choice and it can be if you choose to force it, but falling in love never is ~sherry ann Smile
Coen
ainieas wrote:
Hmm...I'm still pretty lost. Actuallylot of things have taken place this last week. My gf did come back but not she wants a three year gap, with her concentrating on her studies and all. I haven't told my gf about the other girlin my life but i feel i need to soon. I'm in quite a mess thinking about it all Sad

Again, stay true to your feelings. I understand it can be confusing so I'd reccomend to talk it over with people you really trust, your parents or best friend(s). Just think for yourself and make up your mind on what you want. Do you still love your girlfriend? Are you falling in love with the other girl? How do you feel about that 3 year gap?

If you make up your mind about those things for a start, it would become a lot easier to come up with a next step.
zevampyre
You can love many at the same time.. but it hurts..

if you truly love someone.. that can never fade.. even if they leave you...

i know these things from personal experience....


abikor
Yes - my mother and father.
But seriously - to real emotion we don't have the influence, but to simultaneous connections with 2 persons - already this way. In this second case I regard dishonest it (without a "triangle" with the full awareness of everyone interested)
Kaze_Mitoki
Yes.

It is quite possible to love many different people at once, at different levels and at the same level. I currently love more than 20 people, but there is one person that I hold closest to my heart - my fiance`. I would do anything for that man.

In that "more than 20" figure, I included my friends, some of my family that actually give a *flarn!* about me, and my fiance`. I am not going to get into religion here, but my God also fits into there.

The key thing to realize, is that there are all kinds of versions of love; to me, it is a shape shifter. with this person, you love them as a friend. with this person, you love him like a husband or wife. and with this person, you love them as if they were family. and with that person over there, you love them because they actually -are- family, even though they drive you crazy!

That is a definate yes. As far as sexually, there are people who do that... it's possible... but I choose not to.
James_Hicks
I won't limit myself to loving only one person. I have too much to give. I love my wife but I could easily love someone else. She can't understand nor will try. She's set in her ways like most people are.
molif
if you love two person at a time, u are in for one hell of a ride of pain and agony.. haha..

tt's all i can say.. cos high chances tt u may lose both..
tjf000
I think I can, but it's not right. I will be confused. I wish I have two hearts!
Yes, I think so. Just as you can be really great friends with two people; just as you can hate two people; just as you can adore two children equally, I believe you can be in love with two people. Not to say that you wouldn't feel guilty about being with one and not the other, and not to say that I think it's a good idea to love two people, but I certainly think it's possible.
TrueFact
I think one can love two at once as what tjf000 has described earlier, but the idea is it won't last...
one may consider you a betrayer while the other will not accept it from the first glance.

It depends on all three of you...
cvkien
yes, you can love more than 1 person, but depends on what kind of love you are giving. couple love, is selfish, that only can own by one person, if not, people will still fight for that, the one, couple love is all about sex. family love, is semi-close. you only love your family, not others family and family love is all about care. friend love is selected, you'll defense your friend when they are in trouble, but only those you want them to be your friend, friend love is all about trust.
deanhills
Quote:
Hmm...I'm still pretty lost. Actuallylot of things have taken place this last week. My gf did come back but not she wants a three year gap, with her concentrating on her studies and all. I haven't told my gf about the other girlin my life but i feel i need to soon. I'm in quite a mess thinking about it all


Well if she wants a gap, maybe you have a gap too? Best to discuss this with her. Honesty is always the best policy and will bring great relief to you.

This is probably a good example of loving two people at the same time. In this romantic context one can only be fully committed to one, otherwise it messes your head up.
thuyhanh
I think I can, but it's not right. I will be confused. I wish I have two hearts!
aadler82
It all depends on your definition of love. But in the sense of "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person" that is also romantic, yes, it's possible. Strictly sexual desire can be quite easily be directed to more than one person, and it may mean nothing more than arousal. But that romantic, deep love can also be distributed to more than one individual with a certain appreciation for humanity. However, this love needs guidelines for success if it were to become formal. If one were to be in a stable relationship with more than one person, conflict should be avoided by admitting your plans to both--that you have a polyamorous relationship. The emotion of jealousy can often disrupt these sort of relationships; that is why there requires a discussion on expectations, limits, and so forth. Those who have the characteristic to be possessive will not be successful in a polyamorous relationship.
BlackroseDigitalDesigns
Polyamory is growing in popularity across the United States. Not only socially but as a religous practice as well. True Mormans and many earth-based religions view polyamory in a more breoved light. While Mormonism views it at as right for men and men only many Wiccans think of love as something to be shared among many as the love of The Goddess is shared by all.
cath_welch
I believe i am in love with two different people, so your answer is yes. Its insane. I have been with my current boyfriend for 11 months and just recently this man came into my life and swept me off my feet. I don't know how to handle it at all. Its so confusing. But i love them both so much
ssthanapati
Yup.. I guess so... seen some ppl do that... And most of the time they are confused... But personally i prefer to handle one at a time
dhotshotkid
While some may say its imposible others may think that its part of our nature as me to like more than one person at the same time. If you ask me ill say yes. Men are naturally made to love the parts of a woman no matter who they are. It is because of this liking we find ourself attracted to more than one woman.


for more log on to www.weefmgrenada.com
westcp
i think you can love two people (or mroe for that matteR0

but in so doing, one must feel that you would loose a bit of love/affection/lust for the first and others

I speak from experience.

I am married. happily. a guy too. (i guess this is more of a guy question? not sure). but one girl I worked with I got real close too. I think she just like dme as a friend though, but i loved her.


just my 2 cents here
raynjust
I currently live with 2 women, 1 is my x wife who I have been with 20 years another is a 22 year old women who has had a very disturbed life and is now on the right path, I love them both and they both have different qualities that compliment eath other, is it wrong to love them both even though between the both of them they forfill everything i need if life?
TrueFact
If you read the thread from the beginning, you would find that some people agreed that it is ok and others said it is not.

A second thought, someone can love two, but surely they will not be equal to him/her or s\he will love them in different manners, like raynjust for example, I assume he still have feelings towards his ex-wife which can be love and his feelings towards the young girl may be nothing more than the feelings a father has towards his daughter when things emerge to the real thing.

I think it is time to discuss what may make a man or a woman love two persons at the same time and whether it is a real love, or circumstances will change things?
raynjust
Thank you TruFact, you are right on both points to a certain degree, my x was is a bad car crash back in 1999, she has not been the same since, yes I still love her but more as a care giver than a lover, the younger women is very intellegent and helps me out alot, as I do the same for her, we do have a fahter/daughter type relationship but she has qualitys as a women that I have lived without for a long time. Trying to keep it all in the proper perspective has been a little rough, the qualities they both have compliment each other and makes my life easyer ( but a little complicated )
Prasad007
No, I don't believe that.
LaurieChup
Hi

I am in love with two people and it is killing me inside. Its the most depressing feeling knowing you are hurting two people.

Guy 1: i have been with for 4 years and had a baby with
Guy 2: my first love from school who i have never stopped thinking about since 2005

Both are in love with me. Guy2 knows about guy1 but still wants me saying i can move in with him and start a life with him. He loves me and has never been able to find another oerson with a connection like mine and his and he wants to be a family with me and my daughter. Guy1 does not know my feelings deep down for guy2.

Guy1 was my rebound from guy2 but i ended up falling in love with him because he treated me like a princess and was cerything guy2 wasnt! I did cheat on guy1 Sad with guy2 quite a few times and he found out. But he still took me back because he loves me. I trie to forget about guy2 for so long. But everything reminds me of him. And i even get the urge to cheat on guy1 again.
Guy1 changed after everything i did and started to treat me oretty badly but I just cant bring myself to leave him. I love him so much An all the good things he does seems to replace all the shit he does. Hes an amazong dad. And he still is trying to do roght by me and my daughter. Hes working away at the moment for 7weeks just to get money to try for a house. I appreciate it so much.. And i think thats the main thing im dcared of. Im guarenteed security woth guy1 and im scared to risk it all to be with guy2 for it to not work out.

Imso confused with what i want to do.
I know this is all wrong. And its so difficult to know what to do.
Please help and please dnt judge! I already feel like such a bad person.

Which guy would you want to be with??
darthrevan
No you can not truly love more than one at the same time. Eventually love will drift from one to the other. In other words, the former feelings will go away.
loveandormoney
Winterborne wrote:
I was just curious about what everyone thought. Can one person really love two people at once? this includes any type of preference: homo, bi, hetero, etc....

Explain your answers too. I want to know what reasoning you have behind it.


Yes.

But there is a difference:
Love or leading.
visualconcepts
Winterborne wrote:
I was just curious about what everyone thought. Can one person really love two people at once? this includes any type of preference: homo, bi, hetero, etc....

Explain your answers too. I want to know what reasoning you have behind it.


i am straight, and im in love with two girls, i told both of them, one is ready, other is not, but i think will marry both of them, really i love them so much, muahhhh
loveandormoney
Do You spend Xmas by Three?
oscar123
hope22 wrote:
anyone who says their IN LOVE with two people at once is only LYING to themself. In my opinion, they are IN love with only one; they just can't break-up with the other for one reason or another (comfort, house, children, money, image...). Now...don't get me wrong, you can LOVE two or more people at once, but you can't be IN love with two people at once. I always say there is a difference when it comes to love and IN LOVE.

my quote: many say that love is a choice and it can be if you choose to force it, but falling in love never is ~sherry ann Smile




Expect you can't really force love or any other feelings...Feelings can change, but not by preferences, but by circumstances
zaxacongrejo
more than 2 its a triangle not love
TheGremlyn
ainieas wrote:
Coen wrote:
ainieas wrote:
I really don't know for sure about this but I'm in a similar fix. Confused I love my gf but haven't seen/heard from her for quite a while since she's home now. On the other hand I've gotten real close to this other girl whom I really like and we got the world in common between us. I just don't know what/how i feel about either of them anymore. All I know is that it might end up in a real mess and I don't want to hurt either of them. Crying or Very sad Btw, the second girl knows about my gf.

If she knows about your girlfriend then I wouldn't worry to much at first. She'll respect the fact that you've got a girlfriend. For yourself, however, you'd need to figure out how you feel. Talk about it with people you really trust if you think that'll help and just think about it. That'll probably help.


Hmm...I'm still pretty lost. Actuallylot of things have taken place this last week. My gf did come back but not she wants a three year gap, with her concentrating on her studies and all. I haven't told my gf about the other girlin my life but i feel i need to soon. I'm in quite a mess thinking about it all Sad


I'd say try and reconnect with your gf and just focus on her for the time being until you can sort things out. It might not be such a bad thing if you can be friends with this other girl. Being friends with her could be a lot more rewarding than if you break up with your gf and immediately move on with this new girl. If you feel things aren't working with your gf then end it. Then give yourself an appropriate amount of time to figure out who you are and what you want and this other girl can be there to help and support you (if she's worth anything).
codersfriend
You might be talking about a romantic relationship. Well that depends on your culture. But if you do believe in monogamy, stick to the rule. You only choose one. Because if you don't either one of them (or both) will get hurt and you would also find love meaningless
Arrogant
Yes From what I have seen lately
loveandormoney
Winterborne wrote:
I was just curious about what everyone thought. Can one person really love two people at once? this includes any type of preference: homo, bi, hetero, etc....

Explain your answers too. I want to know what reasoning you have behind it.


You can love 100 people:
Your parents
Your sister
Your brother
and so on.

And You ca I want to live alone I do not like to love humans.

Explanation:
If You want to rule humans
then You do not like to love humans.
TheLimey
I believe you can.. it causes major issues Sad
kaysch
There are so many men who have a wife and a mistress at some point in their lives. And I'm sure they love both of them, each woman for different desires.
Strangely enough, I believe that it is much rarer that a woman has 2 guys at the same time. But maybe I'm wrong there...
loveandormoney
TheLimey wrote:
I believe you can.. it causes major issues Sad


You should stop to own people.
Mrs_Robota
of course we can, but the kind of love is always different
loveandormoney
When You enjoy it
then there is no problem.

There is no problem when You are black or white.
Famous song.
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