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Taking responsibility for actions under the influence.





meet in rio
When people get drunk/high and do/say stupid/hurtful/destructive things, do you forgive them because they 'weren't themselves' or are you just irritated that they lost control of themselves in the first place? Does whether or not you similarly over-indulge have any effect on your reaction?

A few scenarios as food for thought:

a) Friend insults you personally and seemingly intentionally.
b) Friend breaks a vase/CD/window.
c) Friend kisses your significant other.
d) Friend punches you.
e) Friend vomits all over your nice new persian rug.

Et cetera.
RT Cunningham
As an over-indulger of alcohol on a quite a few occasions myself, I have to say something that will cause other abusers to call me a liar.

When you use/abuse alcohol or drugs, you know what you're doing at the time. You may not be able to restrain yourself because you've released your inhibitions, but you know what you're doing.

Hitting things, puking, etc. caused by your inability to adequately control your muscles, reflexes (including gag reflex) is a different story. I can forgive someone for that, but not the other things like verbal or physical abuse or kissing someone that you shouldn't be kissing. You have enough sense, no matter how impaired you are, to know that what you're doing is wrong.

If you get to the point where you don't know, you're either unconscious or pretty close to it.
Lusiphur
Agree with the previous poster. When you drink you do not lose control, and I hate people that use it as an excuse for anything.

What happens is that you lose your inhibitions, if someone says something nasty I would bet a lot that they thought it while sober just didn't have the "bottle" to say it normally. That's usually the case with situations I've witnessed anyway.

Would I forgive someone? Depends on who they were. If a good friend I would forgive them if they came to me and apologised (and as long as they didn't blame it on the alcohol), if someone I just know chances are I'm not going to care enough to hold it against them, if it's a complete stranger than no I won't, why? Because I'm not going to know them well enough to know if they deserve forgiveness or if they are genuine with their apology.

I'll go through your 5 scenarios

Quote:
a) Friend insults you personally and seemingly intentionally.


This would depend on how they insulted me. If they used something I told them in confidence then f*** them. If I know them well enough to think that they were only joking I would forgive them, if they apologised I would forgive them. I tend not to hold grudges for "name calling", unless they have broken your trust OR the insults are directed towards my family. Then it goes beyond name "calling though".


Quote:
b) Friend breaks a vase/CD/window.


My reaction and if I would forgive them depends if it was accidental or deliberate.


Quote:
c) Friend kisses your significant other.


I'm assuming you mean a proper kiss, if so I would probable lose 2 friends over this. It's not something I react well to at all. Maybe under extreme circumstances (I have no idea what those would be though)

Quote:
d) Friend punches you.


There would be a fight, then the next day we would talk about what caused it. I know this as it has happened. And is usually over some stupid slight that has been growing in your friend. Unless he's a bully, then screw im as he was never a friend in the first place.

Quote:
e) Friend vomits all over your nice new persian rug.


Laugh as it's beyond your friends control. And if it'#s a real friend they will over to buy a new one or pay the dry cleaning. If they don't they#re not a friend and I'll treat them as such.


Hope I've helped.
Quiviro
If a friend of mine make something stupid when he/she is drunk I would be angry with him/her because of that but I would be angrier because he/she is drunk and says "Forgive me, I was drunk" Evil or Very Mad
You're unforgiven if you're drunk Evil or Very Mad


PS: your signature should say
Quote:
Soy inglesa - discúlpame
meet in rio
Quiviro wrote:
PS: your signature should say
Quote:
Soy inglesa - discúlpame


Oh - thank you Very Happy
ArthurBenevicci
meet in rio wrote:
a) Friend insults you personally and seemingly intentionally.
b) Friend breaks a vase/CD/window.
c) Friend kisses your significant other.
d) Friend punches you.
e) Friend vomits all over your nice new persian rug.

a) Give a second chance I think
b) Probably give second chance
c) Depends on what sort of kiss, probably immediate ass-kicking
d) Immediate ass-kicking
e) I think a second chance, depending on the situation
ThornsOfSorrow
Maybe I have a biased viewpoint since I don't drink, but I think that a person should always be responsible for their actions, unless they have some sort of mental disorder that causes them to think irrationally or to not be able to think about their actions (schizophrenia, night terrors, etc). Drinking a beer, or two, or three, or any other type of alcohol, is a choice that should be used wisely. Anyway who is prone to insulting people when drunk, or making out with other people's girlfriends should not be getting drunk in the first place. If we forgive drunk people for doing small things (insulting others, breaking things, punching, etc), then why shouldn't we forgive those who get drunk, get behind the wheel of a car, and accidentally kill someone? It shouldn't matter whether they're "not themselves"; they chose to drink, so they need to deal with whatever consequences come from their actions.
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