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Long distance relationship





nigam
well, does it work or not? Is it worth a try? How do you stay positive when your involve with someone far away from you........

care to share an experience perhaps?....well only if u got one...

*sigh*....just wanna know...
dancingfire
nigam wrote:
well, does it work or not? Is it worth a try? How do you stay positive when your involve with someone far away from you........

care to share an experience perhaps?....well only if u got one...

*sigh*....just wanna know...



Long distance relationships can work, but often don't. But then again most relationships in general don't work. It all depends how mature the people involved are and how patient they can stay, in my opinion. I've never tried it, but if I met the right woman I would definitely consider it. Internet access makes these situations a bit easier, though it's still hard.
engeland
a strong, mature and deeply in love couple can make it work. no more needed, no less to make it work
Insanity
Even though the Internet does make it easier to communicate, I would like to say that it's not always better. My advice: talk on the phone. It's more personal than just words popping up in an IM window.
Subsonic Sound
The internet is the greatest tool ever for this kind of thing.

Forget email, forget phones, forget IM. It's all about videophoning.

Get a webcam, a mike, and a copy of Skype, and you can spend as long as you like with a constant video feed, for free.

My girlfriend and I have kept one open for thirty hours before now.


Important note though, don't forget about letters. There's something intimate and personal about a handwritted letter that email just can't replicate.
dancingfire
Subsonic Sound wrote:
The internet is the greatest tool ever for this kind of thing.

Forget email, forget phones, forget IM. It's all about videophoning.

Get a webcam, a mike, and a copy of Skype, and you can spend as long as you like with a constant video feed, for free.

My girlfriend and I have kept one open for thirty hours before now.


Important note though, don't forget about letters. There's something intimate and personal about a handwritted letter that email just can't replicate.


Subsonic Sound, I just want to say that you have an awesome signature Smile
blendbet
Keeping in touch is important, but it doesn't necessarily have to be expensive. Arthur and I usually only talk on the phone about twice a month, and try to keep it under a half hour. I recommend trying to alternate who's footing the bill. Short upbeat messages left on the answering machine are nice too - you can play them over, and over, and over....

I can't say enough about how important e-mail can be. It's faster than mail, and it's cheaper than the phone. You can get an e-mail account at most colleges prepaid by your tuition. When I was looking into colleges, this was one of the things on my checklist. Faster yet, is online communication. I've never used ICQ and I only recently started using AIM (AOL Instant Messenger). Mainly I just the chat program on my college's server. Snail-mail is important, too. A handwritten letter, or a card "for no reason" can go a long way.

Communication means talking about what's going on in your life, and how you're feeling about things. If you don't communicate, your SO(significant other) probably isn't going to read your mind. Communication also means listening!

On a sub-topic, there are a lot of fun things you can send in the mail: Holiday related items, tapes with music mixes, cute things you find in gift shops, videos if you have the equipment, poetry (yours, or stuff you've found), and songs. My favorite is one of those blank puzzles that you can find in card shops or art stores - make a picture/message, and send a couple of pieces at a time with letters and cards. Cookies are cute, too, if you can manage it.

Trust
In order to pull off a LDR, you need to have a LOT of trust in your partner. If you don't, you may end up wasting a lot of time wondering where they are and who they're with. Insecurity isn't a good attribrute to drag into a LDR.
Respect
If you are leaving your SO's home area to go to college, other studies, or job reasons, do form new friendships. At college especially, you're going to a new place, and forming a new life. SO's should respect the existance and time devoted to this new life. A new life doesn't mean you don't care about your partner anymore, it means you're are still a living, breathing, valuble person when they aren't around. It also cuts down on the ever-present "I-miss-you!" loneliness/longing. Respect your partner's decision to live a life which doesn't revolve solely around you.

Honesty
Be honest about how you feel about your relationship, and what's going on in your life. Again, mind reading is unusual. If your studies or job are keeping you busy, or if you're sick, tell you partner - it's easier to understand why you haven't e-mailed in a while, or why you seem cranky/moody. Don't forget to tell them about the good things happening in your life as well as the bad ones!

In the unfortunate case you decide that the relationship isn't working - for goodness sake, don't just leave the other person in the dark, be honest with them. This doesn't mean being rude or thoughtless. Try to avoid telling them before major exams, or during finals. And don't leave it on an answering machine.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love and commitment are also important, but I think that goes without saying.
Believing in true love/ destiny might help, too.
As to visiting each other, it depends on the distance, your financial situation, and what kinds of public or private transportation methods are available to you. Who pays for who to go where when and how often can end up being a point of contention, so be careful.

During visits, you may feel a bit awkward - sometimes I do, sometimes I don't - and things are still working. You may want to take things slow for the first few days. And in my experience, the goodbyes get a little bit easier each time.

Parents can be a "problem" for many teens entering in to LDRs, especially those begun online. Remember that most of the time they are trying to do what they think is best. They've seen scary things on the news, and like anyplace else, the internet has its dangers. Parents don't always have a full grasp of all that the internet is, and they don't feel like it's something the have control over - this makes them want to protect you from it. Try to explain things to them, and try to be patient. Try to avoid going behind their backs - if they find out (and they have a knack for it) they feel even less in control, and that will make things worse for you. I've had parents Wink , so feel free to e-mail and ask for advice regarding them.

What about what other people think? Some people may think you are wasting time in attempting a LDR: "Why bother? It never works." (Wrong - Explore the web, successes exist). Other people think it is a very brave thing to do and will regard you highly because of it. However, it's not what other people think that should matter in deciding whether to enter into a LDR. It's what you and your partner mean to each other. Nonetheless, it is more helpful to have supportive friends.
Remember,"Absence makes the heart grow fonder".
Subsonic Sound
dancingfire wrote:
Subsonic Sound wrote:
The internet is the greatest tool ever for this kind of thing.

Forget email, forget phones, forget IM. It's all about videophoning.

Get a webcam, a mike, and a copy of Skype, and you can spend as long as you like with a constant video feed, for free.

My girlfriend and I have kept one open for thirty hours before now.


Important note though, don't forget about letters. There's something intimate and personal about a handwritted letter that email just can't replicate.


Subsonic Sound, I just want to say that you have an awesome signature Smile


If you mean the quote, credit to Xi Zhi. If you mean the banner, credit to my girlfriend. Very Happy
Blaster
They usualy never go anywhere and if you do get married with them then you will probley relize things that you haven't before. To me they don't work too well. IMPO The're not worth it. Either move there or have them move where you are.
molif
i don consider mine as a really long distance relationship but well, to a country like Singapore, we live at each end.. she live in west and i live at east.. somehow 2 hrs journey to travel from one side to the other..

maybe its easier to work on it.. but, i don find distance to be a problem.. in fact, its a good thing.. i love to feel when im missing her, which i will be surrounded with the thoughts of her face in my mind.. always..
Aimewitue
TRUST,HONESTY,COMMUNICATION,STRONG & deeply inlove are the simple words to make a long distance relationship works
trought it's hard ....
bangala
My wife happens to travel sometimes and this creates some opportunities to live and experience a long distance relationship. Well let me tell you it is good for a change Smile
freakinlame
I think you do need a lot of trust and honesty as well as love to make it through a long distance relationship. And also, you need to stay true to each other because you won't be seeing each other. So, therefore, if you don't think you can be patient and not go around looking for other girls when you are away, then my advice is don't get into that kind of relationship. Speaking from experience.
dan751
I had a long distance relationship for about a year, then she broke up with me because she said it was "eating her inside" that we couldn't be together. So, it may work if you feel like giving it a shot. If you do, I might recommend IMVU as it does an extremely good job at expressing your emotions, way better than just words. Wink
dzign
It does work for me, and eventually, I got married to my long distance girlfriend Smile Hip hip hooray

The main things for me on this long distance relationship are trust and communication.

- Trust: Of course sometimes we are really down and start to not having faith in our partner, but keeping the trust up is important. The worst case, we lose this relationship, but hopefully we are strong enough to admit it as "not our true love" yet. This is for remedy if long distance relationship does not work well, but try very best to work every single problem out. We are unique, so differences will always happen and they might even become the enemy of long distance relationship

- Communication : Really really work it out on how to keep the communication goes well. Nowadays, Internet is getting better, International or Long Distance call are getting cheaper. Email, MSN, Sype, or any other communication tools are available. Even Video conferencing or if we want to go back to the basic, letter and SMS are provided for us. Make use of them to keep the communication flowing. The reasons of keeping up the communication are for updating ourselves with the current situation of our partner as well as method of giving attention.

That's what I can say based on my own experience. Sorry if this becomes too long Smile
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Any thoughts or advice? Thank you!
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