People, I just want to know what you all think of the appropriate age gap between a guy and a girl in a relationship. Does age gap matters in a relationship? We have examples of women who date younger than their age or men date way younger than their age. Is it a problem? What will occur if there is a problem at a later stage?
Does age matters in relationship?
I've seen cases like that but only very few survived and lasted between them. Don't know why, but there was always problems specially if the gap is too big that mindsets and points of view differ too much.
Be careful and good luck
Be careful and good luck
I don't think there's a set age difference - it varies through life. For instance, a seventy year old and a fifty five year old are going to attract a lot less negative attention than a 16 year old and a 31 year old, but the age difference is the same.
Frankly, as with all things on this topic, it's down to the two people in question. If they are both mature enough to make their own decisions, then why shouldn't they?
Of course, the question that begs is how old is mature? And frankly, I don't think there's a set age for that. People mature at different rates. So yes, in the mid teenage years, there is some ambiguity here.
Frankly, as with all things on this topic, it's down to the two people in question. If they are both mature enough to make their own decisions, then why shouldn't they?
Of course, the question that begs is how old is mature? And frankly, I don't think there's a set age for that. People mature at different rates. So yes, in the mid teenage years, there is some ambiguity here.
It could work. I once dated someone who was quite a bit older than I am, and we got along very well (probably because his intelligence level was that of someone younger than myself, so he didn't seem as old as he was 
). I thought we really had something until I found out that he was just a pervert who went after any girl who was as young as I was at the time. Anyway, it didn't work in my case, but sometimes it does. Age differences attract a lot of negative attention, but they really shouldn't matter.
). I thought we really had something until I found out that he was just a pervert who went after any girl who was as young as I was at the time. Anyway, it didn't work in my case, but sometimes it does. Age differences attract a lot of negative attention, but they really shouldn't matter.To me, it only matters when one person is to young to make proper decisions. Im not sure where you draw that line, but for me puberty is a good indicator.
it's not really age that's the issue.. it's maturity and life experience that counts
there are many cases of high school girls dating 20- or 30-something guys.. the fact is that in basically all of those cases, the guy is extremely immature, and probably won't mature much in later years while the girl will.. not to mention the implications of the older guy taking advantage of a naive girl
then there is the life experience thing.. in high school, the separation of more than 2 years is a dealbreaker because so much is learned and experienced in every one of those years.. in college, it's slightly less important, but still an issue.. and every year after, the importance drops.. by the time most people are in their mid 30s, the range widens to about 10 or even 15 years, as long as both people have gotten through those critical years already
there are exceptions to this, but they are very rare.. so if you're thinking of getting into a relationship with someone who is significantly older than you, remind yourself that the person you want to date will probably act and think the same way 10 or 20 years from now.. while you very possibly will not
there are many cases of high school girls dating 20- or 30-something guys.. the fact is that in basically all of those cases, the guy is extremely immature, and probably won't mature much in later years while the girl will.. not to mention the implications of the older guy taking advantage of a naive girl
then there is the life experience thing.. in high school, the separation of more than 2 years is a dealbreaker because so much is learned and experienced in every one of those years.. in college, it's slightly less important, but still an issue.. and every year after, the importance drops.. by the time most people are in their mid 30s, the range widens to about 10 or even 15 years, as long as both people have gotten through those critical years already
there are exceptions to this, but they are very rare.. so if you're thinking of getting into a relationship with someone who is significantly older than you, remind yourself that the person you want to date will probably act and think the same way 10 or 20 years from now.. while you very possibly will not
I think Subsonic got it right...it depends on the people involved. My wife is 12 years younger than I am and any issues we've had have nothing to do with the age difference. She's sort of mature, I'm sort of immature. It works.
It was a little unsetttling when I first realized that when I was in college, she was just entering elementary school...but now it's pretty funny.
On the other hand, my best bud since I was a kid married a lady 12 years his senior. They are about as happy as any couple you can imagine.
Physical age has so little to do with who you are, I think that, as long as it isn't a legal issue, it shouldn't have any bearing on a relationship.
It was a little unsetttling when I first realized that when I was in college, she was just entering elementary school...but now it's pretty funny.
On the other hand, my best bud since I was a kid married a lady 12 years his senior. They are about as happy as any couple you can imagine.
Physical age has so little to do with who you are, I think that, as long as it isn't a legal issue, it shouldn't have any bearing on a relationship.
Age doesn't define wheither a relationship will work or not. Age is just a number. What makes a relationship work is how the two people deal with each other, how bad they want it to work. There is only 4 years between my husband and myself, but 12 or 13 between my sister and her husband. Both marriages are working great.
To me, age doesn't matter, as long as people are old enough to make their own decisions.
Why do you ask this question? Are you perhaps drawn to people who are a lot older or younger than you? or is there a situation which brought this question to your mind?
Why do you ask this question? Are you perhaps drawn to people who are a lot older or younger than you? or is there a situation which brought this question to your mind?
I was with a woman 17 years older than me, (im 21), we lived together and for 7 months, it did create some problems cause she was already settled and had kids. and we were sort of in a different place in life... shame.
I usually have a rule of 2 years younger or older, since I'm pretty young myself. But I think 5 years difference is the best one to stick to.
When I was 16 I dated a 19 year old....now I'm almost 18 dating a 21 year old....so 2-3 years difference doesn't really matter to me.
I think it's really gross when peope 10 yrs + apart date...but that's just me. If the couple gets along, they really love each, and they are on the same level age/sex/race/status nothing should matter.
When I was 16 I dated a 19 year old....now I'm almost 18 dating a 21 year old....so 2-3 years difference doesn't really matter to me.
I think it's really gross when peope 10 yrs + apart date...but that's just me. If the couple gets along, they really love each, and they are on the same level age/sex/race/status nothing should matter.
its juz normal for ppl these days to have partners who are like 10 years + older than them Oo so if it has so become the norm..i think it shld be fine
| jharsika wrote: |
| ...
I think it's really gross when peope 10 yrs + apart date...but that's just me. |
Well, sorry to gross you out with my story of a wife 12 years younger than me, but come back in 10 years and let us know how you feel then.
I think you'll find that the older you get, the less important age difference becomes.
| TrueFact wrote: |
| I've seen cases like that but only very few survived and lasted between them. Don't know why, but there was always problems specially if the gap is too big that mindsets and points of view differ too much. |
PLUS, the 'age difference' issue (I think personally) is only a huge problem if it's say 5-10 years during the 'early' stages of life: teens, early 20s early 30s. I'm not saying it doesn't happen as you get older-- but when you are older your mindset is different and you're willing to compromise more for eachothers' happiness.
i think age difference should not be more than 2 yrs... may be coz i have seen two relationjships wih age difference >11 yrs breaking up!
| shwetanshu wrote: |
| i think age difference should not be more than 2 yrs... may be coz i have seen two relationjships wih age difference >11 yrs breaking up! |
LOL. As I said. 12 years difference and we've been together for 15+ years! Age, as others have said, is less important than the mindset of the two (or more) people.
| freakinlame wrote: |
| People, I just want to know what you all think of the appropriate age gap between a guy and a girl in a relationship. Does age gap matters in a relationship? We have examples of women who date younger than their age or men date way younger than their age. Is it a problem? What will occur if there is a problem at a later stage? |
I think age is never a factor when adults are making decisions of their own. It's their lives, let them live it how they want. Just because someone says it's wrong, doesn't make their opinion fact so do what you feel is right
| dancingfire wrote: | ||
I think age is never a factor when adults are making decisions of their own. It's their lives, let them live it how they want. Just because someone says it's wrong, doesn't make their opinion fact so do what you feel is right |
)Ya, I agree with HoboPelican and Subsonic that age difference should not be an issue in a relationship. Such thinking is in line with the idea of individualism and the right to do what one thinks is right. In this area, I would think that its part of Western values. In Asian countries including Freakinlame's (who first started this thread), there is a different thinking, one based on patriarchy and collectivism. In such societies, social norms play important roles. What is considered as possible in Western cultures is seen as impossible since it goes against social norms which are stronger in Asian than Western countries.
But in the digital age with new technological innovation, the spread of western thoughts and ideas and the advent of globalization, many Asians are challenging their own societal norms by talking about issues considered taboo, if not acting on them.
I believe in the future, more and more Asians will think of their own happiness by doing what they think is best for their lives even if that mean having a relationship with someone years younger or older than them. Here, I am basically refering to serious relationships and not those who are out to target younger or older people just for fun/sex.
But in the digital age with new technological innovation, the spread of western thoughts and ideas and the advent of globalization, many Asians are challenging their own societal norms by talking about issues considered taboo, if not acting on them.
I believe in the future, more and more Asians will think of their own happiness by doing what they think is best for their lives even if that mean having a relationship with someone years younger or older than them. Here, I am basically refering to serious relationships and not those who are out to target younger or older people just for fun/sex.
It depends really, some say that age is just a number, but I personally find that there should be a limit. No 18 year old should date a 30 year old, I think 5 years is the maximum between an age gap to be in a relationship.
| twisthigh wrote: |
| It depends really, some say that age is just a number, but I personally find that there should be a limit. No 18 year old should date a 30 year old, I think 5 years is the maximum between an age gap to be in a relationship. |
Ok, but can I ask why? Is age really the issue or is it something else that is just associated with age?
I'm also curious as to why 5 years is the maximum. You're certainly entitled to your own opinion, but I see no reason as to why any two people who are both old enough to make intelligent decisions regarding who to go out with (which is anyone older than 16 in my opinion, if there's going to be a huge age difference), then age shouldn't matter. As I've already mentioned, I once dated someone who was a lot older than I was (more than 5 years older), and the only reason it didn't work wasn't one that was directly related to the age difference. Sure, we had to keep our relationship somewhat secretive (since I was very young at the time), and the people who knew about it made fun of us, but I could deal with that since I really liked him. So, as HoboPelican already asked, please explain, since I'm curious as well.
You should spek about percents, then years. i think 10-15% or little more Is normal
No I don't think so because If both of them truely love each other, age shouldn't even be considered.
I mean I frown upon a 40 year old with a 10 year old, but I mean a 30 year old with a 20 year old is OK.
I mean I frown upon a 40 year old with a 10 year old, but I mean a 30 year old with a 20 year old is OK.
| xkobram wrote: |
| You should spek about percents, then years. i think 10-15% or little more Is normal |
I agree with you that as you get older the age difference can increase, but your numbers are a bit unrealistic
Using 15%
At 15yr, that would give you a 2.25 year spread
At 30yr, a 4.5 yr spread.
At 50yr, a 7.5 yr spread.
That is awfully narrow.
But it's an interesting idea.
in my openion, if the different is not too large, is still accepable.
because, seriously, if the age different is too large, i dont think there is a good idea for them to be together as theyu will have less similarity in physical and mental .....
because, seriously, if the age different is too large, i dont think there is a good idea for them to be together as theyu will have less similarity in physical and mental .....
More than the biological ages are the mental ages of the couple. We have seen a lot of 'ideally' age-gapped couples succeed while others failed in their relationships. On the other hand we have seen also a lot of ‘not ideally’ age-gapped couples succeed and some failed, too. So we can be brought to a certain degree of conclusion that, within the legal bounds, biological age has nothing to do with the success or failure of the relationship. Having said that, it does not follow that there should be no boundaries when one or both of the couple is/are underage/overage. 
I guess couples who have been comfortable with the emotional side of their relationship tend to succeed more than anybody else. Failures of most couples to settle their individual differences have lead to pattern indicating weak emotional stability from either or both. Also, it is worth noting that, in my opinion, true love is immune to time and space. And age gap is just one of the derivatives of time.
Some failed relationships are being blamed to ‘inappropriate’ age gap if it exists because that is the most easy reason for non-thinkers. But when you look at the real situation and the real reason, you will understand that what transpired in a relationship prior to failing is not related to age gap. Maybe a more relevant issue would be ‘getting into a relationship in a very young/old age (underage and overage issues)’. Yes, most particularly, very young couples going into relationships that they don’t even know the ground rules - that is a bigger issue.
I have been into a deep relationship when I was still too young (I was 13 and the girl was 12 yrs old. Ideal age gap?) and naturally it failed. No other reason to think, we were just too young for a serious relationship. The key? Wait until both of you are emotionally stable (some prefer to term it as ‘being matured’).
Anyway, who wants to celebrate his/her 18th birthday while his/her partner is bedridden and dying a natural death due to old age?
I guess couples who have been comfortable with the emotional side of their relationship tend to succeed more than anybody else. Failures of most couples to settle their individual differences have lead to pattern indicating weak emotional stability from either or both. Also, it is worth noting that, in my opinion, true love is immune to time and space. And age gap is just one of the derivatives of time.
Some failed relationships are being blamed to ‘inappropriate’ age gap if it exists because that is the most easy reason for non-thinkers. But when you look at the real situation and the real reason, you will understand that what transpired in a relationship prior to failing is not related to age gap. Maybe a more relevant issue would be ‘getting into a relationship in a very young/old age (underage and overage issues)’. Yes, most particularly, very young couples going into relationships that they don’t even know the ground rules - that is a bigger issue.
I have been into a deep relationship when I was still too young (I was 13 and the girl was 12 yrs old. Ideal age gap?) and naturally it failed. No other reason to think, we were just too young for a serious relationship. The key? Wait until both of you are emotionally stable (some prefer to term it as ‘being matured’).
Anyway, who wants to celebrate his/her 18th birthday while his/her partner is bedridden and dying a natural death due to old age?
I think age matters or not depending on what age you are already.
If I was 25 and seeing a 15 year old girl then it would matter, but it may not if I was 45 and seeing a 35 year old woman. So the 10 year age gap has a different meaning depending on where you are.
I could even say that 15 years may be Ok on say age 65 and age 50 and the older you get the less it matters.
I hope this makes sense.
Jim
If I was 25 and seeing a 15 year old girl then it would matter, but it may not if I was 45 and seeing a 35 year old woman. So the 10 year age gap has a different meaning depending on where you are.
I could even say that 15 years may be Ok on say age 65 and age 50 and the older you get the less it matters.
I hope this makes sense.
Jim
to me, age doesnt matter... how much older or younger you are being compared with your partner, you shouldnt care about that.. care about the feelings u have with each other.. thats the most important thing..
age is nothing.. but of coz, be more realistic.. a 60yr old dating 20 yr old, thats outrageous..
age is nothing.. but of coz, be more realistic.. a 60yr old dating 20 yr old, thats outrageous..
Do you mind a younger guy? 2-3 years younger.. Because most of my girl friend does...
| HoboPelican wrote: | ||
I agree with you that as you get older the age difference can increase, but your numbers are a bit unrealistic
Using 15% At 15yr, that would give you a 2.25 year spread At 30yr, a 4.5 yr spread. At 50yr, a 7.5 yr spread. That is awfully narrow. But it's an interesting idea. |
OIC, you're right, for older people i should use another meter, Im 15 yrs old and I think i wont go out with 12 yrs old girl, but with 18 yrs old girl i can, my friend aged 13 has a 17 yrs old boyfriend, I she told me, its very difficult to her. But what can love do...
If anything is dumb it's girls claiming that they're more grown up and thus 'deserve' an older boyfriend. Not only can it do a lot of harm (when they worship loverboys that give them attention), but it's also a lame way of claiming yourself superior. When I see the 15yo girls at my school that would supposedly be as grown up as me (a 17yo boy) I do feel quite insulted.
In general relationships become healthier if the partners are closer to each other in all aspects: cultures, intillegence, level of education, age, etc. This doesn't mean that relationships will fail if the partners came from different cultures or they were of different ages. However, the probability of failure increases as differences increases between them.
| Arnie wrote: |
| When I see the 15yo girls at my school that would supposedly be as grown up as me (a 17yo boy) I do feel quite insulted. |
It's true that a lot of young girls don't act older due to them being with their friends and thinking that being loud and acting dumb is "cute", but psychologically, females supposedly do mature faster than males. Like you, I really haven't seen much proof of that, but it's still interesting. By the way, I was actually told by a male that I should date guys who are older than me so that they'd be as mature. Either way, I think most girls like older guys not because they think they need an older male to match maturity levels, but more because they want to feel protected.
| ThornsOfSorrow wrote: |
| I think most girls like older guys not because they think they need an older male to match maturity levels, but more because they want to feel protected. |
That's true, but this changes by time and later they start looking for youger ones that match their ages. It is great to think about your present needs, but it is also essential to think about your future needs as well.
| twisthigh wrote: |
| It depends really, some say that age is just a number, but I personally find that there should be a limit. No 18 year old should date a 30 year old, I think 5 years is the maximum between an age gap to be in a relationship. |
I tend to agree....I'm a 23 year old guy and I would even feel strange about dating an 18 year old girl. There's just too much of a maturity leap in those years.
Hmm...seems like everyone has his or her own say about the matter. So, there is actually no problem with age gap in a relationship? Anyone agrees? I mean when you are still a teenager, of course a few years gap seems big, but whenm it comes to being an adult, like someone said, it doesn't even matter anymore, does it? I'm 19, she's 15. But when I'm 25, she'll be 21. So its ok right?
Maturity doesn't depend on the age of someone right? I mean one can be old and yet not mature in their thinkiong and action. And yet, a younger person can be pretty mature for thie age. So what do you all think?
I have seen several couples where they had real big gaps, and they all finished with problems.
I mean until maybe 10 years, it can still work, but something like 20 years gap, it is ment for a disaster. When you are still young, 20-40 can seem ok, but when you get older, you can face a real problem, since one it is still kind of young and the other is already a grandfather/grandmother type.
More than 10 years, you should better think it twice.
I mean until maybe 10 years, it can still work, but something like 20 years gap, it is ment for a disaster. When you are still young, 20-40 can seem ok, but when you get older, you can face a real problem, since one it is still kind of young and the other is already a grandfather/grandmother type.
More than 10 years, you should better think it twice.
Yes - Ofcourse : As a matter of fact, Age Matter - When you speak of Relationships.
If you are 25 - You can decide to go with 30 or even 35. That is FIne.
But if there is a huge difference between the two - Say More than 5, Then
Consider - 25 with 35 or 40, then
Generation Gap will attribute to so many problems in the near Future.
In terms of Long Future - There will be serious problem. when she is 35 - you will be 45 or 50.
To be frank - Right from ur Sex Life to ur Personal Life, everything affects.
Better Let age differnce be around 5 years (Less or More - Whatever). It is always better that Mens age should be higher than that of the girls.
Keep Smiling.
If you are 25 - You can decide to go with 30 or even 35. That is FIne.
But if there is a huge difference between the two - Say More than 5, Then
Consider - 25 with 35 or 40, then
Generation Gap will attribute to so many problems in the near Future.
In terms of Long Future - There will be serious problem. when she is 35 - you will be 45 or 50.
To be frank - Right from ur Sex Life to ur Personal Life, everything affects.
Better Let age differnce be around 5 years (Less or More - Whatever). It is always better that Mens age should be higher than that of the girls.
Keep Smiling.
| Quote: |
|
OIC, you're right, for older people i should use another meter, Im 15 yrs old and I think i wont go out with 12 yrs old girl, but with 18 yrs old girl i can, my friend aged 13 has a 17 yrs old boyfriend, I she told me, its very difficult to her. But what can love do.... |
Sounds Funny - Love at the age of 13 years ???.
What will she know about Love ??
so are you saying that a 13-year-old knows nothing about love?..hmmm..interesting..i guess age gap does not affects a relationship between 2 people of opposite gender, as long as there is a level of maturity and understanding between the two of them. We just wouldn't know what the future will bring. now it may seem okay, but what about 10 years later? I know that not all relationship will end up on the wedding aisle, but could it be possible?..Need people with experience to comment on this one...
but some how, let's take a 13 yr old girl.. possible that she know nothing much about love.. but im sure she can feel the emotions.. and how, they are more fragile.. as she grows up, she becomes more mature.. tt is why, i love matured woman..
there are some nasty behaviour that a 13 yr old girl can project..
there are some nasty behaviour that a 13 yr old girl can project..
For me, I wouldn't want a girl that's a lot older than me. I would want someone that's a closer age than me. At least two years older and younger than me. I like to think that when people are around the same age, they have more interests that they like. That's a really important thing because you would want to create memories by doing what interests the people enjoy doing.
I really like pre-teen "love". They are mostly just playing around and don't really think much about it. Obviously there are a few that are true and aren't with someone just as a way to play around. I think all kids should wait til they are more mature so they can truly understand what love is about. That doesn't mean you can have lots of friends!
I really like pre-teen "love". They are mostly just playing around and don't really think much about it. Obviously there are a few that are true and aren't with someone just as a way to play around. I think all kids should wait til they are more mature so they can truly understand what love is about. That doesn't mean you can have lots of friends!
no, age is no matter for a relationship....
In general, no, I don't think age matters in relationships. That said, I think it CAN be an issue if one person is really young (let's say mid-teens to early 20s) and the other person is say 10 or more years older. But the older and more mature both people get, the less age matters.
When I was 27 I started dating a guy in his early 40s. I thought he was very sophisticated and it was actually quite a turn-on that an older, successful, handsome man was interested in me. That relationship didn't end up working out, but it had nothing to do with our ages (and as a side note, 6 years later we are still the best of friends!!!)
So I guess my point is that a big age difference only matters if one of the two people is really young and/or immature.
When I was 27 I started dating a guy in his early 40s. I thought he was very sophisticated and it was actually quite a turn-on that an older, successful, handsome man was interested in me. That relationship didn't end up working out, but it had nothing to do with our ages (and as a side note, 6 years later we are still the best of friends!!!)
So I guess my point is that a big age difference only matters if one of the two people is really young and/or immature.
Age is very important. 3-4 years it's a small diferent but 10 ... i don't think so.
I would say it depends on what age they are at. It may not be a problem for a 40 year old to be with a 30 year old but it would be out of the question for a 20 year old to be with a 10 year old (and very illegal). I would say the older both of you get the more the gap doesn't matter as much.
well i like a guy that is well 9 years older then me... and we dont care but im under 18 and hes not so the law kind of forbids it... so its really hard for us to be just friends since we like eachother! but he says that if we play it safe and be just frends until i get older then we will work out... its funny cause everytime someone says something about how its illegal we start singing te somg "no one wants to see us together" by akon haha lol
But i dont think age matters AT ALL!!!
Age kinda to me does matter but not really like yah i understand 10 years i would feel uncomfortable but right now im in a relationship..
I'm 14 turning 15 this october but my boyfriend jsut turned 19 this july 12?
i dont see the big problem.
i ahve lots of respect for him and feelings. and the way he treats me i think he does to. were not in a relationship thats sexual cause all we do is hangout and the contact we be doing is kissing. so i dont see the big deal. i told him im not ready for sexual things and he says he respects that and when im ready im ready. i dont think th age would really matter just be safe about it and find the right person to be with.
I'm 14 turning 15 this october but my boyfriend jsut turned 19 this july 12?
i dont see the big problem.
i ahve lots of respect for him and feelings. and the way he treats me i think he does to. were not in a relationship thats sexual cause all we do is hangout and the contact we be doing is kissing. so i dont see the big deal. i told him im not ready for sexual things and he says he respects that and when im ready im ready. i dont think th age would really matter just be safe about it and find the right person to be with.
| Subsonic Sound wrote: |
| I don't think there's a set age difference - it varies through life. For instance, a seventy year old and a fifty five year old are going to attract a lot less negative attention than a 16 year old and a 31 year old, but the age difference is the same.
Frankly, as with all things on this topic, it's down to the two people in question. If they are both mature enough to make their own decisions, then why shouldn't they? Of course, the question that begs is how old is mature? And frankly, I don't think there's a set age for that. People mature at different rates. So yes, in the mid teenage years, there is some ambiguity here. |
Hi, Been there done that several times. I always dated older guys. In high school the guys were only after one thing and very immature, no thanks. But at 18 I was living with a guy twice my age and helping parent his son. Still friends with both and even have lived across the street from him for 17 years. But there are huge differences in age. I don't think I would rule it out because whose to say that the right match couldn't last forever. But it takes a lot of work and you always have to be willing to work at a relationship.
| freakinlame wrote: |
| People, I just want to know what you all think of the appropriate age gap between a guy and a girl in a relationship. Does age gap matters in a relationship? We have examples of women who date younger than their age or men date way younger than their age. Is it a problem? What will occur if there is a problem at a later stage? |
I believe age is important, but not crucial. If you are almost the same age this is good, because some aspects would be much easier. But if a younger partner are in love with a much older one, the love can make it work. But watch out: a bigger difference will need a much bigger love.
This
Well It didn't work for me mainly because difference in maturity levels and priorities in life. If thats taken care of then it might just work
| indianinworld wrote: | ||
Sounds Funny - Love at the age of 13 years ???.
What will she know about Love ?? |
You think that Love can be only in higher age. I can hardly agree with that. Love in different age is different, but the meaning, the pasion is same.
A friend of mine, who's 20, started dating with a like 40yo man. At first all of our friends had negative reactions; some still do. We'll see if they stick together as time passes..
As an answer to everyone, I think it depends of the degree of maturity of each person. Some people can think and behave as adults even if they are young: for ex: boy 21, girl 24.
Besides, it depends of what they expect for the future. 20 years of difference is not very big when you are 20(the girl should be very adult-minded^^), but when she is 50 and the man 70...it's another rythm of life!!
Besides, it depends of what they expect for the future. 20 years of difference is not very big when you are 20(the girl should be very adult-minded^^), but when she is 50 and the man 70...it's another rythm of life!!
Hi buddy,
to me age is of no use.... i have been in realtion with many girls and many aunties... im currently dating... one girl... and one aunty... 18 and 31 respectively.. and my current age is 25.... and really gives you something you will be needing after marriage...
to me age is of no use.... i have been in realtion with many girls and many aunties... im currently dating... one girl... and one aunty... 18 and 31 respectively.. and my current age is 25.... and really gives you something you will be needing after marriage...
So, I dont think age matters at all as long as maturity levels are on somewhat of the same level (pretty much what everyone has said).
I have always been attracted to older men. I am 24 (girl) dating a 45 year old man and he is my "dream list" man-everything I've wanted since I was a child. We never get bored of each other and he still has the heart of a kid in some ways. He doesn't have kids (I have 1) and he is so good to her. We are like 2 peas (or 3) in a pod.
So I like I said age doesn't matter..its the persons.
Do have one ? for anybody if they'd answer. Although we're happy, he is worried about the gap and feels that in 5 years hes going to be 50 and old & I'll be right in my prime at 30 and wont want an "old man". I try to re-assure him that I'll love him no matter what and my family and friends do too, but he just can't seem to get over it. Any suggestions?
I have always been attracted to older men. I am 24 (girl) dating a 45 year old man and he is my "dream list" man-everything I've wanted since I was a child. We never get bored of each other and he still has the heart of a kid in some ways. He doesn't have kids (I have 1) and he is so good to her. We are like 2 peas (or 3) in a pod.
So I like I said age doesn't matter..its the persons.
Do have one ? for anybody if they'd answer. Although we're happy, he is worried about the gap and feels that in 5 years hes going to be 50 and old & I'll be right in my prime at 30 and wont want an "old man". I try to re-assure him that I'll love him no matter what and my family and friends do too, but he just can't seem to get over it. Any suggestions?
The biggest differences are between 15-20 years, in this "gap" even 2 years are big problem often. Its time when you grow up rapidly so the younger partner isnt thinking as the older one.
It depends on the age. If someone is in her/his teens and gets involved with someone much older, that of course is going to raise very difficult issues. Furthermore, for someone who is 16 years old, someone who is even 19 years old may be that much older. But I think as we get into our twenties and getting older, age differences are very relative and become much less important. Some people who are in their thirties can already be considered over the hill, whereas other thirty year olds are as young as in their teens.
I have seen relationships especially between men who date much older women last for very long. Must be something to do with how men relate to their mothers, or just a simple case of a very comfortable friendship and lots of love.
I have seen relationships especially between men who date much older women last for very long. Must be something to do with how men relate to their mothers, or just a simple case of a very comfortable friendship and lots of love.
male should be older not by much, 3-5 years diff.
I don't think that;s age the problem. It's the maturity of both individuals. I know couples with the girl older than the guy. They are wonderful to each other. Now, there are people who are a lot older than their partners and they treat them like objects. in fact, sometimes if there is a too great age gap, there may be misunderstandings; each other think differently (like in many couples). well, as i said, it all depends on their maturity. love is a serious matter, if the relationship turns sour, try to know what;s wrong and if really, no lasting solution can be found, keep faith. Life continues; everybody wants his share of happiness.
I don't think so. Maturity of a person and compatibility are best ingredient in a relationship. I have seen couples with age gap but survive the relationship and live with it successfully.
| HoboPelican wrote: | ||
Well, sorry to gross you out with my story of a wife 12 years younger than me, but come back in 10 years and let us know how you feel then.
I think you'll find that the older you get, the less important age difference becomes. |
i think it matters where you are in life and i agree with you - the older you get the less a gap matters. and in the end it is important the maturity of both partners is at a similar level - which can be hugely different in different people.
cheers
Well, age gab doesn't matter in some countries. Mainly, if the man is the older, it doesn't matter in many countries. However if the older is the woman, it arises some problems.
It could be better for the marriage to be free from age, race, religion, etc. But it seems that age is still barrier that rises problems between the lovers, specially when the woman is the older.
It could be better for the marriage to be free from age, race, religion, etc. But it seems that age is still barrier that rises problems between the lovers, specially when the woman is the older.
But it shouldn't..
I don't think that age matters in a relationship
But everyone has his own opinion about that
But everyone has his own opinion about that
| freakinlame wrote: |
| People, I just want to know what you all think of the appropriate age gap between a guy and a girl in a relationship. Does age gap matters in a relationship? We have examples of women who date younger than their age or men date way younger than their age. Is it a problem? What will occur if there is a problem at a later stage? |
Age does not matter as long as both parties are in the relationship for love . Problems arise when someone is in the relationship for personal gains, and uses the other person to achieve those gains.
Its mostly a personal thing. My ex gf had a problem with it so she left me. But i never had a problem of her being 3 yrs older than me...
I have even seen a 30 yr old woman with a 23yr old guy. and they are quite stable
I have even seen a 30 yr old woman with a 23yr old guy. and they are quite stable
My girlfriend and I have been together for about 8 months. We love each other and we would die for another. But she is just too damn guy friendly. I checked her myspace comments and this guy seemed to be flirting with her. So I checked his myspace page and she's practically flirting with him in every comment. It pisses me off. What pisses me off most is the fact that she says she loves me more than anyone and anything and Im the only guy for her. If im the only guy for her then why the ****** is she saying "I love ya" to other guys? Whether it be as friends or not, it still hurts like hell to hear that.
I beleive there are no set rules in relationships regarding age and other factors. What matters is whether the two involved are happy and fine with each other. It's sad though that society usually dictates what's good in people's eyes, disregarding inner happiness, which matters the most.
It all depends... my wife is 10 years younger than me... we were married when I was 32 and she was 22, we've been married for almost 12 years now.
It does help that I act younger than my age, and she acts older than hers... but from reading the other replies it sounds like that is quite a common scenario....
Malcolm
It does help that I act younger than my age, and she acts older than hers... but from reading the other replies it sounds like that is quite a common scenario....
Malcolm
I will make one comment for this thread, and one comment alone.
Old enough to pee, old enough for me.
Old enough to pee, old enough for me.
the thing about age is all in the mind... if both the people have no problem with it then y lose ur head on it....
I dont have a problem if the girl is older or younger than me for few years...
But i have seen people who find it hard to accept
I dont have a problem if the girl is older or younger than me for few years...
But i have seen people who find it hard to accept
When you are both over the age of 20 in my opinion age doesn't really matter. Maturity level is all that matters.
Love is love. Age doesn't play part in it. Or not a big part at least. What really matters is how mature both people are and of course, over the age of 20 - 22 age will stop to matter, I think, because people usually are equally mature at that age.
For me there is no problem about age gap between one relationship.As long as they are both happy its fine.
age is irrelevant as long as both people are of legal consenting age and are happy
Who cares whos older? Seriously
Who cares whos older? Seriously
Well, it depends on how big is the age gap between two people, as far as I'm concerned. I would have no problem if my partner was 10 years older or younger but I would not definitely go out with a person who is 40 years older. However, everybody has got rights to live their own lives.
| smspno wrote: |
| Well, it depends on how big is the age gap between two people, as far as I'm concerned. |
I agree with you. Even my sister in law is 5 years older than my brother. Sure they got a few problems at first regarding the elder's perception about this matter but they finally manage to handle it all. And now they have 5 kids.
It seems like when we are younger (middle or high schoolers), the less difference in age the better it seems. Not many people in high school want to be dating someone in a middle school or something. It's kinda a social status at that age. And if you're dating someone older, people would think he's like a pedophile or something.
But when you get older, the acceptable gap widens. I seen couples married that are 4 years or more apart. They seem perfectly fine with it. I think the max that i would find acceptable would be around 8 years of difference. 8 years seem quite big to me.
But when you get older, the acceptable gap widens. I seen couples married that are 4 years or more apart. They seem perfectly fine with it. I think the max that i would find acceptable would be around 8 years of difference. 8 years seem quite big to me.
I'd say stick to the "Your Age / 2 - 7" difference rule, if you are 20, it's 20/2-7, 3 year maximum difference. if you are 30, 30/2-7 = 8 years maximum difference. That's what I generally stick to, but really age is barely a number, doesn't mean anything at all, especially not in love.
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