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how can i be less boring?





diduknowthat
Ok so the person I like (I'm a sophmore in highschool...so not love or anything like that) who happens to live in another town, got a new mac laptop which has a webcam on it. So we're on webcam alot, and she says im really boring. Problem is, i'm just not the kind of person who puts their emotions on their face and really expressive. So what can i do?? Helpp Sad
Vanilla
Change the girl. She seems to be so cold with you! When girls tell you thinks like that, better don't get excited. If this is just the way you are, there's no reason for you to change. She needs to change.
HoboPelican
diduknowthat wrote:
Ok so the person I like (I'm a sophmore in highschool...so not love or anything like that) who happens to live in another town, got a new mac laptop which has a webcam on it. So we're on webcam alot, and she says im really boring. Problem is, i'm just not the kind of person who puts their emotions on their face and really expressive. So what can i do?? Helpp Sad


You guys talk a lot, but she says you're boring? I guess my first thought would be is she saying your face is not showing much or is she saying that you yourself are boring...If it was a random comment about your face not expressing emotion...well, it is a visual medium so try to jazz up the video. Wear a hat...Make a sock puppet talk for you...Have fun with it.

On the other hand, if she thinks YOU are boring. then I'm with Vanilla. Find a friend that gets you.


Good Luck, either way.
scotty
She said it because she has nothing better to say: she is boring. If you want to present yourself better on a webcam errr I really don't know what to do, although get some scrap paper and write messages or something, that can be fun. Razz I was on a webcam to an ex and she ate a piece of paper to get my attention Shocked
bluecradle
scotty wrote:
She said it because she has nothing better to say: she is boring. If you want to present yourself better on a webcam errr I really don't know what to do, although get some scrap paper and write messages or something, that can be fun. Razz I was on a webcam to an ex and she ate a piece of paper to get my attention Shocked


omigosh Shocked that got my attention too...
well it really is different when you are talking to somebody over a webcam...try to smile often, that helps alot...but don't try too hard to please her because if she isn't really after the real you then i agree to those guys above Cool
Linda_B
I find that webcams are quite boring in themselves... In the beginning it's great fun waving and smiling at whoever you are talking to but then you start to fiddle with the computer and you sort of forget that you are being watched. From my experiences it just becomes akward after a while and I try and find excuses to turn it off.

Try focusing just on talking? In the end, isn't the conversation the part that's supposed to keep her interested?

(As a girl, I don't know if I would directly fly at the sock puppet thing....)
frozenhead
diduknowthat wrote:
Problem is, i'm just not the kind of person who puts their emotions on their face and really expressive


I think you already answered your question. Just try letting yourself at ease expressing yourself, I think that's healthier. Wink
JoeFriday
I'm with Linda.. I think webcams are really creepy.. it's like being a peeping tom with permission

but any of the above comments could be right.. we'd need to know the context in which she said that.. it's possible she just wants you to be more interactive with her on camera.. smile and act a little goofy from time to time

but if she thinks that you're a boring person in general, I'd consider her just plain rude
benjmd
No one is boring. People are phenomenally interesting - it just takes the right person to open you up or to understand how you see the world. I don't take kindly to people who call others boring.

However, there are ways to be more openly intriguing to lots of people - read a diversity of things (like stay up on the news, etc), work on self-confidence, and the NUMBER 1 WAY TO NOT BE BORING:

Listen. Listen to what another person has to say and ask them about it. Most people hate to listen and love to talk. So if you fuel that they will be so happy. Remember the things they have planned and ask about them afterwards. Ask them what they did today, then ask them what they thought of it. Nothing pleases the human being more than the opportunity to be listened to. It is our way of feeling like we can connect ourselves to the world.
JoeFriday
that is excellent advice.. the only time that doesn't really work is when you're with people who expect to be entertained, as is the case with this girl
HoboPelican
Linda_B wrote:
....
(As a girl, I don't know if I would directly fly at the sock puppet thing....)


LOL

Hey, I was brainstorming! Smile
But depending on how it was done, it could be hilarious.....or creepy beyond belief Wink
diduknowthat
Thanks for replies everyone, I've considered all of your advices and also have a few things to add.

Quote:
Change the girl. She seems to be so cold with you!


Actually she's not cold at all to me, she talks to me ALOT, more than anyone else does online, and she's always the one starting up webcam convos everytime.

Quote:

I guess my first thought would be is she saying your face is not showing much or is she saying that you yourself are boring...


It's probably that, and most of the time I'm doing hw, not the most interesting face Laughing But today I tried to have more emotions and stuff, seemed to work out better.

Quote:

I was on a webcam to an ex and she ate a piece of paper to get my attention


Oh my god..I don't know what to say Shocked You have one funny ex Very Happy

Quote:
Try focusing just on talking? In the end, isn't the conversation the part that's supposed to keep her interested?


Yes, I've also tried that today, though it would be so much easier if my dad wasn't home as then I can talk more freely on the mic.

Quote:

it's possible she just wants you to be more interactive with her on camera.. smile and act a little goofy from time to time


Yup, I think she meant that too, i did more of that today Smile

Quote:
Remember the things they have planned and ask about them afterwards. Ask them what they did today, then ask them what they thought of it. Nothing pleases the human being more than the opportunity to be listened to. It is our way of feeling like we can connect ourselves to the world.


Hmm, I'll do that tomorrow, thanks for the suggestion.

Quote:
the only time that doesn't really work is when you're with people who expect to be entertained, as is the case with this girl


She was alot less like that today, maybe it was just because her friend was over last time.


All in all, I'm just a real shy person who doesn't express alot of emotions. I guess I'll try express my emotions more, as I saw myself today on the cam and I do seem really boring, just sitting there with a blank face. Any more suggestions are highly welcomed!
HoboPelican
Very Happy

My friend, I think you are going to do fine. Have fun!
yzgm
dont be so worry . Time will change same with other . Surprised
freakinlame
Stop trying. If people think that you are boring, its probably because you try too hard not to be boring. So, change your lifestyles. Hang out with different kind of crowd. Yea, you'll be just fine
diduknowthat
freakinlame wrote:
Stop trying. If people think that you are boring, its probably because you try too hard not to be boring. So, change your lifestyles. Hang out with different kind of crowd. Yea, you'll be just fine


It's not the crowd i hang out with, it's just that I'm usually very nervous around girls, especially the ones i like (as in crush).
tyrant
Be yourself, if your boring then she wouldn't even chat with you right ?? anyway i agree with the rest, webcams are kinda corny, and i personally find online communication a barrier to expression. Nothing beats the personal touch. a hug on msn can never replace a hug in person.

Or, you could be childish and start finding her faults, make her feel inferior then end up as enemies.
paulbarter
I think that the webcam is the problem. Must be a lot of pressure like that, try calling her nd see if you relax a little. Arrange to meet her and do something fun together, then there wont be so much focus on you and you can be yourself and maybe she will see something she likes. If she still thinks you are boring, then find someone who doesn't! There is someone out there who likes you!
cavey
Probably it's not you that is boring, It is just she who is bored. Blaming it on you.

It might also be a suggestion to upgrade your web-friendship - do something fun (date?). She cannot suggest something concrete her self because she is shy. Telling you that you are boring is her way making you do the suggesting.

Good luck! I'm sure you are not boring.
molif
i agree with some of the comments here..

NO ONE IS BORING...

if she finds you boring, don care.. get to know someone else instead who can appreciate u and ur time.. coz some ppl DEMAND for more...
sodredge
I am a bit of a loud boob at times on cam though you could try just cutting back. Dance the hula infront of the screen, make odd faces, do a cool King Kong impression and fall off your chair. Then again be yourself bc if she is real in anyway she will like you for you. If you are boring infact maybe you could make some mini movies to run on your cam with personaly thoughts about her on them. You can show her that throughout her boredom you have been thinking about her. I make avatars when I am having boring chats. It is always nice to present something to someone for no apparent reason.
zamolxes
I think we've all been through this kind of stuff, everybody, sooner or later in life, is going to like someone, but the feeling is not mutual (by the way, I don't think you shouldn't allow yourself to fall in love just because you're very young.... or that because you're so young "you don't know what love is", that's bulls**t, one can seriously fall in love at... almost... any age. and highschool is definitely not at all too young for that.).
OK, so a person is boring from the inside out, not the other way around. You could be boring if you have nothing to say or no attitude versus anything at all.... and that of course, shows on the face as well. So, without knowing who you are and how you face looks like or what you personality is like, I have one main piece of advice - if you think the relationship with someone is boring, try to fix that inside, not outside. Just a smile won't help much, it will help, but it won't change the real situation, which could, for example, be - you don't have common subjects to talk about, no common interests, etc. So in fact you could be bored as well, but because you like/love the girl you might ignore that. She's so cute she doesn't even need to say or do anything, just... be there.... right? Well, it stops being like that after a while. The relationship (whether friendship or love) needs some fuel to keep it going, you need to be interested in each other. So, yeah, as I said already, find interesting things to talk about, and things you have in common. I think any person behaving naturally, not trying to impress or behave in any kind of aggresive manner, but also not being too shy/closed, is (more or less) naturally interesting. Now, some people like agressive tipes and some others like shy types, but closed types (those who are not being communicative) are hard to deal with. Find interesting topics, among other things. talk about what you like too, of course, but make sure to find out what SHE likes, and talk about that too.
OK, and there are cases when the girl just doesn't have any interest in you and that's final. It's just natural human attraction, or appeal - if it ain't, it ain't. The first 30 seconds-1 minute when you meet a new person creates the "first impression", and this is of crucial importance. If you look interesting to someone in these 30 seconds, that's it, the image they have about you will be positive forever.... unless you give them preeeety serious reasons to think different. I used to be shy and not understand much about people when I was in highschool. And guess what, reading some light-psychology books (the "How to" kind) helped me a lot with opening my mind and gaining interest in knowing about people. Read about attitude and the ways you can talk to a complete stranger and start a conversation and keep it going - it has a lot to do with subject and the way you pay attention to what they say, and how they give you "unrequested information" that you can creatively use to fuel the conversation. Pretty cool stuff. Or so I thought at that time. And I still do Smile
Last thing. You probably have very little to no chance with this girl now, if she already has this negative image about you. But if you're not madly in love with her, it's good Wink Go ahead and find other girls, you learn from every person you meet and talk to, and that adds up, and before you know, you're a different person, you've learned so much and you look at your old self in amazement. I believe in learning and evolving as not something that mutilates the personality but enriches it. Have fun!
Codeman1
diduknowthat wrote:
Ok so the person I like (I'm a sophmore in highschool...so not love or anything like that) who happens to live in another town, got a new mac laptop which has a webcam on it. So we're on webcam alot, and she says im really boring. Problem is, i'm just not the kind of person who puts their emotions on their face and really expressive. So what can i do?? Helpp Sad


You have to choices either work it out or you can dump her and find another girl. In my opinion it seems shes not the right one for you. Anyone else you like at your school and maby think they like you? Ask her out if so and try your luck. Basically dump that girl I don't think shes your type.
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