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Have people become too selfish???





girlcalledjay
A few days ago my husband and I were driving home from the mall and we saw a car broken down in the other lane of traffic. The driver was standing near the front of the car and there were about 10 cars behind him...waiting for him to move.

We stopped and ran across the road to see if he needed help. We helped him to roll his car to the side of the street so that the traffic could pass. He told us that he had been there for more than a couple of minutes and NOBODY offered to help. Even as we were rolling his car forward, the drivers behind us were still blasting their horns and waving arms!

I couldn't understand it.

Then just two days ago my husband had a motorcycle accident on his way home from work. He fell and skidded along the ground and into/under the car in front. His jeans were ripped, his legs were bleeding, he was struggling to pick his bike up. The driver of the car in front drove off without offering to help and the cars behind drove around him. In rush hour traffic, only ONE person stopped to help him and that was another rider.

A call to friends soon had more help than was needed on the scene!!! But nobody else really seemed to care.

As a society, have we become too selfish? Are we only concerned with our own lives?

Please tell me that's NOT the case.
standready
girlcalledjay wrote:
As a society, have we become too selfish? Are we only concerned with our own lives?

Sadly, that is exactly how it is. How often does someone hold the door open for you. If you hold the open for someelse, do you get a thank you? These very simple acts are not even done anymore.
BTW: hope your hubby is ok?
Vrythramax
I unforunatly must agree, we may not have become selfish, but a very large mjority of us have become self-centered. We look out for only ourselves and turn a blind eye to those that may be in need around us, and with the shape of the world today, and the course we are ALL taking, it going to get a whole worse before it get's any better.

So sad, but true.
scotty
There is nothing I can think of that shows we are anything but a bunch of selfish gits.

Although in response to the crash Richard Hammond had (Top Gear presenter, BBC) a lot of money was raised. I think people have discounted what a simple gesture or a bit of help when somebody has fallen is worth. Money seems to be everything now.... "I donated 10, yeah well I donated 20 etc"
guissmo
girlcalledjay wrote:
A few days ago my husband and I were driving home from the mall and we saw a car broken down in the other lane of traffic. The driver was standing near the front of the car and there were about 10 cars behind him...waiting for him to move.

We stopped and ran across the road to see if he needed help. We helped him to roll his car to the side of the street so that the traffic could pass. He told us that he had been there for more than a couple of minutes and NOBODY offered to help. Even as we were rolling his car forward, the drivers behind us were still blasting their horns and waving arms!

I couldn't understand it.

Then just two days ago my husband had a motorcycle accident on his way home from work. He fell and skidded along the ground and into/under the car in front. His jeans were ripped, his legs were bleeding, he was struggling to pick his bike up. The driver of the car in front drove off without offering to help and the cars behind drove around him. In rush hour traffic, only ONE person stopped to help him and that was another rider.

A call to friends soon had more help than was needed on the scene!!! But nobody else really seemed to care.

As a society, have we become too selfish? Are we only concerned with our own lives?

Please tell me that's NOT the case.


People here are sometimes like that too but some have "unselfish" reasons:
1. They're scared of helping.
2. They're too much in a hurry (which brings us to a new people-problem).
3. They feel like they wont be able to help much.
4. They don't really care.

I still believe that the lowest percentage of people is #4. But, come to think of it, reasons are just made to get off the hook.
bartdou
perhaps that's just the case, at that time all people are busy going home after their day's hard work or going to work, they have no time to help you. Every individual is selfish naturally, only when they have extra ability they will give help to others.
mantasx
I really agree with guissmo, people are mostly scared to stop and help. If you see a guy lying on the ground legs bleeding, I wouldn't stop. I'de be scared to look at it. Other people might simply think that somebody else will help, or make a call, or something.
HoboPelican
Man, this topic really is bumming me out. Are things really that bad these days? There isn't anything (well, very few things) that would keep me from stopping to help someone out in a jam. And so far, I've been very lucky with people helping me when I've needed it. Sometimes I've had to ask before I got help, but they were very happy to help once they had some direction.

Maybe that is part of the problem. People see a problem and think they have nothing to offer in the way of help. Doesn't occur to them that just directing traffic could help or maybe the use of a phone is all that is needed. Heck, just a friendly face sometimes is the biggest help imaginable.

Do a good deed for somebody in need. It may come back to you some day. Smile
Ghost Rider103
standready wrote:
girlcalledjay wrote:
As a society, have we become too selfish? Are we only concerned with our own lives?

Sadly, that is exactly how it is. How often does someone hold the door open for you. If you hold the open for someelse, do you get a thank you? These very simple acts are not even done anymore.
BTW: hope your hubby is ok?


Well, when I go to restraunts, stored, stuf like that, I always hold the door open for people, and Usually get a thanks you, but most of the older heavier women never thank me for holdng the door for them, I am not sure why, but I cant remeber anyone else not thanking me besides an older heavier women.

But, I dont live in a big city, I live in the desert, in a town, not a small town its like a nice clean town, but most people around here are pretty nice, if your driving on a road and you pass another vehicle you almost always get a wave from them.

But the last time I lived in a city was when I was about 5 and I dont remeber much of anything, but I do know why we moved out of a city is there is just was to much trafic because those selfish people are in a rush, which causes normal people to get angry and start acting the same way. But thats just my opnion on that. So because the himan life is growing and growing and growin, these selfish people are coming and coming, and turning helpful people into selfish people because if your going to stop to help somone with their car, in the old days, you wont get honked at, yelled at, etc. But now you get that and it could embarrass some people which forces them to not help somone out because of reasons like that.
cybernie
it happened to me before... but i realized it was wrong when my spiritual adviser did a bibile reading on me...
mschnell
It seems to me like from the beginning of time people have been saying that the younger generations are more inconciderate and rude than their own. If that's been consistently true, then I think we would all be pretty mean by now:P.
HoboPelican
cybernie wrote:
it happened to me before... but i realized it was wrong when my spiritual adviser did a bibile reading on me...



Uh, you got me curious....what did this bible reading make you realize you wrong about? I'm not sure if you ignored someone who needed help or were ignored when YOU needed it. Could you explain?
Keran
Ofcourse ppl got more selfish, especially in big towns where everyone wants to be richer and better then other. I see a lot of people passing by strangers that require help, it's like normal these days...
Small cities and villages are not that corrupted yet, that's why i love living out there, though i live in a big city...
Vrythramax
HoboPelican wrote:
Man, this topic really is bumming me out. Are things really that bad these days? There isn't anything (well, very few things) that would keep me from stopping to help someone out in a jam. And so far, I've been very lucky with people helping me when I've needed it. Sometimes I've had to ask before I got help, but they were very happy to help once they had some direction.

Maybe that is part of the problem. People see a problem and think they have nothing to offer in the way of help. Doesn't occur to them that just directing traffic could help or maybe the use of a phone is all that is needed. Heck, just a friendly face sometimes is the biggest help imaginable.

Do a good deed for somebody in need. It may come back to you some day. Smile


Cheer up brother, you know who your friends are, and you made an excellant point with your post. Smile

Peace.
gh0stface
I guess people are more selfish. However it's understandable in these times of days. Everything isn't so simple compared to say the days during black and white television reigned supreme with clean TV family oriented shows.

People have to be more guarded now. With random violences, car jackings, muggings and what not in bigger cities such as LA, Detroit, Dallas or what not. So it's really hard to call people selfish when they believe their lives are in danger or may be in danger. Especially when dodging rush hour traffic on the high way.

What guissmo states, I think he hits it pretty close to home.
william
As sad as it seems, it's true. People are becoming more selfish and self centered. It's becoming more and more common. Why can't someone just spend of few minutes of his or her time to help out?

I still don't know why it's like this.
godam64
i think i know the problem :

you live on the wrong place Laughing

it's totally different in my country especially in jakarta. if you got accident there would be a lot lot of people trying to help you out. sometimes there are thieft that will rob your valuable stuffs join the crowd pretending to help.

i personally will help people in trouble. except help drowning friends on the sea. i can't swim. so i let them die without nothing to do Crying or Very sad
eggg
People are pretty considerate around here. I've taken some spills on sleds, bikes, etc. and every time there's been someone around they've freaked out and rushed to my side. I hold doors for people all the time, and they always say thanks or at least offer a smile and a nod. Olympia's not that big, but it's not exactly a hole in the ground either. It's probably the water.
Zaini
It's not that people are too selfish now but nowadays people had soo many thing in their mind that we do not have time or energy to worry about other people. We're also worried that if we stop to help the other people, we will fall into a scam. So many bad thing happen to nice people who try to help other people in the end the are in the losing end.

I'm worry if I saw someone by the road in what seem like their car broke down. Is it real ? Or is it a robbers try to get someone to stop to rob us? This is the risk that I think we're not willing to take as it has happen to so many people.

It is better to be safe than sorry.... Anyway, when we're in trouble, no one willing to lent a hand. We had to strugle on our own.
[FuN]goku
well it depends.... um.. someone i know stopped to help someone before and it turned out that the person had a knife on them and stuff... so it might have to do with trust... i mean if it was like 1993 and below then people probably wouldnt know that. i think that maybe that people think that if they stop to help then they might get robbed, or hi-jacked. so.. yeah. thats my opinion.
woundedhealer
I'm disabled and use a mobility scooter when I'm out, and I would say on the whole more people are considerate than not. Obviously there are some ignorant people about, and I probably notice them more than other people do. It seems societies become more self absorbed as they become more affluent. So maybe were're not so civilized as we think.

I know this isn't on the line of selfishness, but I think it's on topic enough to relate.
I have a small assistance dog who sits on my lap when we're in a shop. So many people come up to me and start stroking my dog and don't say one word to me. When this happened the other day, I did speak out. I was taking a garment off a rack to look at, and as I turned round, I knocked a ladys hand with the hanger. She was just about to stroke my dog while my back turned. I told her that it was an ignorant thing she was doing, that she should have spoken to me first. her reply astounded me. She said she didn't know me. i pushed my point home by asking how she would feel if I walked up to her child and started touching her. On the whole I don't mind people stroking my dog. I notice people get a lot of pleasure out of it. I just like to be asked first.
Shiva
Well it's a lot of sad stories, thats for sure!!

But infortunatly thats where we are going.. To a society where the strongest survives, the weak or unlucky will die.. Sad

Its sad to see people all aroud the world only thinking of them selves like that!! All the time!!! Sad

But not helping people who has crashed somewhere.. Thats bizare!! Shocked
screamingdecay
Parents spoil there kids, they become brats threw there hole life and spoil there kids and it gos on and on...
woundedhealer
screamingdecay wrote:
Parents spoil there kids, they become brats threw there hole life and spoil there kids and it gos on and on...

I agree there are a lot of spoiled brats, but there are also a lot who are dragged up and don't learn the lessons they should do from their parents. Not all youngsters are like this. There are many decent, caring youngsters out there. Lets hope these ones teach their children the lessonsthey need to be decent human beings.
sonicj
I hate to add another "nail in the coffin" to how selfish we are, but I have my own personal story.

About 10 years ago I went to pick up my son from a nearby city, where his mother lived. She and I were divorced. I was having a hard time financially at the time. My car was broken and I had borrowed an old beat up truck from my uncle. It was a very cold night and I was on the way back to my house with my then, 1 year old son. The truck broke down on the side of a hill on a main highway. No one was stopping to offer help, so I decided my only choice was to start walking to an exit. So I bundled my son up and headed off. I walked carrying my son and his bags for several miles and my son was getting very cold. I kept trying to wave cars down, but no one would ever stop...although several honked their horns at me. Finally a policeman stopped and took me to the next exit. It is hard to imagine me passing by someone in my situation. I mean come on, I was carrying a baby for heaven's sake.
woundedhealer
sonicj wrote:
I hate to add another "nail in the coffin" to how selfish we are, but I have my own personal story.

About 10 years ago I went to pick up my son from a nearby city, where his mother lived. She and I were divorced. I was having a hard time financially at the time. My car was broken and I had borrowed an old beat up truck from my uncle. It was a very cold night and I was on the way back to my house with my then, 1 year old son. The truck broke down on the side of a hill on a main highway. No one was stopping to offer help, so I decided my only choice was to start walking to an exit. So I bundled my son up and headed off. I walked carrying my son and his bags for several miles and my son was getting very cold. I kept trying to wave cars down, but no one would ever stop...although several honked their horns at me. Finally a policeman stopped and took me to the next exit. It is hard to imagine me passing by someone in my situation. I mean come on, I was carrying a baby for heaven's sake.

That is really nasty, not to say frightening for you.

You've reminded me of an incidence a few years ago. I was visiting someone 25 miles away with my step-mother. it was raining, and getting gradually worse throughout the evening. We managed to drive about 5 miles home when it got so bad we had to stop. We weren't the only ones in that situation, there cars stopped everywhere. The lovely people who lived in the area we stopped were inviting us travellers into their homes and giving us a bed for the night. I know the area was a friendly one (Bristol, uk}I just hope it still is.
Lilystock
I think it is mainly due to stress. People are feeling overwhelmed by their own life, they just don't think they can manage other person problems too... Not strong enough.

When we were on holidays at Tahiti (french polynesia), we were just amaze of how nice people were, and really cool too. They drive very slowly and always have time to help. Life just seem so much more easier there... If we could have a job, it would definitly be a place to stay!
Lilystock
sonicj wrote:
It is hard to imagine me passing by someone in my situation. I mean come on, I was carrying a baby for heaven's sake.


It must have been horrible, and dangerous too.

I wasn't there of course, but maybe people just couldn't see what you were carrying ? I know that when I'm driving alone, I will never stop to pick up a man. Just too afraid with all these horror stories you read in newpapers and watch at the news... Now, I do sometime when we are with my husband, which isn't exactly rational as if the person was armed, it wouldn't do much of a difference...
Vegetalzis
Well, i believe things are that way =/

For most people, as they grow, those concepts of generosity keep going down, cause the world keeps getting worse for them, many bills to pay, kids to care, jobs to mantain, and so on.

Fortunely, some people can still mantain those virtues, either because they are strong enough not to fall under those bad circunstances, or they just have a better life with little worries. Again, fortunely the 1st reason is the winner =]
OneBadOmen
I read somewhere that every single person does everything that they do to get something in return. Whether what you get in return is money, or the satisfaction of helping someone else. It might even be something smaller than that that you wouldn't even realize.

Maybe when there's someone in trouble and there's 10+ people around everyone thinks, "Hey, there's a lot of people here, someone will help and then I can go back to my business", yet when everyone thinks that noone does anything. It's really quite sad but I hope it gets better.
Jack_Hammer
Our whole society makes people more selfish, for example;
The american dream, for you to make yuor way in the world and screwing everyone else over along the way, but it's natural to be selfish.
Soulfire
Yes - we (even me) are all guilty of egocentricism. As long as it's what we want, when we want, and how we want it - we're happy. If it's not, we're mad and throw a fit.

The world is so pathetic.
rennes
hi,

First, we live in an over-consuming society, were people have to buy things to be recognized. To buy things, there's obviously two ways : "beeing the best", and cheating to make people thik you are.
Well those two ways have something in common : you have to step on your neighboor's face.

Second, we are so fed-up with TV showing us how dangereous the outside world is. People are scared from each-over. That's why most of us don't want to help someone else. Finaly, i you see someone hitten by another person, i would be harmful to interfere, isn't it ? ....So comfortable.
Kelvin
i think selfishness has overtaken most parts of the courteous society. Most people now adays are all for themselves without thinking of others. Wanting to be first in everything they do.

Arrogant, inconsiderate, cutting queues, speeding on the road with reckless acts without thinking of the safety of others. Dashing for something when they see others approaching the object even if the person is closer to it. All this makes us look more sellfish.

Is it the fast pace life we are living in that makes people sellfish or is it generally based on our upbringing?

I meet these people everday. Very often on the roads. Once in a blue moon, i still get to see a few good people around. God bless them all.
roadruner
people suck
the sooner you realise this the sooner you can give a damn for this kind of people
but people are busy i guess and they don't have enough time to give it to others
but when they get inot trouble they'll see what it's like and maybe the next time they see someone they'll stop and help
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