Me and my girlfriend caroline have been together almost 2 years, and she cheated on me a few weeks ago, simply because i complained to her on the phone because it was costing me £1.50 a minute from portugal to england, an she was talking to her friend wasting my money. So that night she went out and snogged a boy, and erm, yeh went abit further than that. i didnt deserve that though, i treat her like an angel all the time. i love her to pieces. but it always bothers me. Do you think we could last? I asked why she did it, and she just says, i dont know, and wont give me a straight answer.
Me and my girlfriend
| danlvincaz wrote: |
| Me and my girlfriend caroline have been together almost 2 years, and she cheated on me a few weeks ago, simply because i complained to her on the phone because it was costing me £1.50 a minute from portugal to england, an she was talking to her friend wasting my money. So that night she went out and snogged a boy, and erm, yeh went abit further than that. i didnt deserve that though, i treat her like an angel all the time. i love her to pieces. but it always bothers me. Do you think we could last? I asked why she did it, and she just says, i dont know, and wont give me a straight answer. |
kill'er
"I don't know" is a stupid excuse. There could be deeper issues down there, and you two should have a thorough heart-to-heart talk. That's the only way.
Doesn't really seem like a valid reason at all (if ever there is any) to cheat on someone, so you might want to seriously re-evaluate your relationship with her, because being together for so long, that is a really crappy way to treat your significant other, and isn't very respectful in the least. Sorry hun...hope it all works out for you. :\
| danlvincaz wrote: |
| I asked why she did it, and she just says, i dont know, and wont give me a straight answer. |
Well, ladies really do that. They have this instinct having so many excuses.
[opinion]
I wont bother understanding ladies' way of thinking anyways.
[/opinion]
| danlvincaz wrote: |
|
So that night she went out and snogged a boy, and erm, yeh went abit further than that. i didnt deserve that though, i treat her like an angel all the time |
I'm so sorry to read that though. C'mon dude, what she did to you obviously answer your questions. It's not your lost I think?
You definitely need to talk to her. You had every right to complain about her wasting your cell phone minutes; it was good of you to call her from that far away, so she should have been giving you her full attention the entire time, rather than talking to her friend. A lot of people cheat these days and continue their relationships with relative ease, but if it really bothers you (and it should) I would demand that she tell you exactly why she did it.
| ThornsOfSorrow wrote: |
| You definitely need to talk to her. You had every right to complain about her wasting your cell phone minutes; it was good of you to call her from that far away, so she should have been giving you her full attention the entire time, rather than talking to her friend. A lot of people cheat these days and continue their relationships with relative ease, but if it really bothers you (and it should) I would demand that she tell you exactly why she did it. |
Yeah I agrea, I c this in daily life all the time. My parent are also devorsed and both my mom and dad allready had 2 diffrent friends. As if it is normal...well maybe it is. However, to the point.
You SHOULD talk to her and not kill her..err, talk to her and look her in the eyes and when she answers you on a question ask her to answer ou while she' slooking in your eyes. If she's telling the truth that should be no problem. It works for me
but in a slightly different situation.personally, I'd be prepared to dump her
if she cheated on you simply because you got into an argument like that, she isn't a very dedicated or loyal girl.. and her refusal to give any sort of reason says to me that she is picking a fight so you can break up
I'd probably leave her alone for a week so you both can cool off, and then see how you feel after that.. if she doesn't show any remorse, the show is over
if she cheated on you simply because you got into an argument like that, she isn't a very dedicated or loyal girl.. and her refusal to give any sort of reason says to me that she is picking a fight so you can break up
I'd probably leave her alone for a week so you both can cool off, and then see how you feel after that.. if she doesn't show any remorse, the show is over
I don't think we should go around telling him to dump her.
We have to know what he thinks first. danlvincaz, do you mind her cheating on you? If you do mind, you should do something to stop it, if she is going to do it anymore. Or, as the previous speaker said, you might have to dump her, only if you feel it is ABSOLUTELY nessecary.
If you don't really mind, then you should just stick with her. Just stay with her, love her for who she is.
This has been stated already, but it's true. You have to really get to talk to her. Like face-to-face would be a really good idea.
Just do what ever you won't regret too much.
We have to know what he thinks first. danlvincaz, do you mind her cheating on you? If you do mind, you should do something to stop it, if she is going to do it anymore. Or, as the previous speaker said, you might have to dump her, only if you feel it is ABSOLUTELY nessecary.
If you don't really mind, then you should just stick with her. Just stay with her, love her for who she is.
This has been stated already, but it's true. You have to really get to talk to her. Like face-to-face would be a really good idea.
Just do what ever you won't regret too much.
I'm not saying that he SHOULD dump her.. I'm saying that, based on my experience, it's probably going to happen any way.. the girl doesn't seem too concerned with his feelings.. nor is she terribly concerned with their relationship if she runs off and hooks up with some other guy for some minor disagreement.. not only did she do it, but she went so far as to tell him that she did
perhaps she was so guilt-ridden with her betrayal and thought that he deserved to know.. but that's not the impression I've gotten, considering her stated reason
all I'm saying is that if she continues to act with such little regard for your feelings, you can do a lot better with someone else.. have some self-respect and show her that you're not going to put up with her crap
and I say this because I was in exactly the same position many years ago.. I felt so much better about myself after I dumped the woman who did that to me
perhaps she was so guilt-ridden with her betrayal and thought that he deserved to know.. but that's not the impression I've gotten, considering her stated reason
all I'm saying is that if she continues to act with such little regard for your feelings, you can do a lot better with someone else.. have some self-respect and show her that you're not going to put up with her crap
and I say this because I was in exactly the same position many years ago.. I felt so much better about myself after I dumped the woman who did that to me
Try to rekindle ur relationship... Or maybe she is not worth ur love. But try out. You may end up happy.
it happened to me also, and today i totaly forgot her, but thats just me
well... money crisis between a couple.. it's difficult to solve.
from what you said, i think you have talked to her calmly about this matter. But she does not understand, right ?
so now you have 2 solutions. One is working harder !! earn more money and fulfill what she does. Another one is to give up. i think she is not suitable for you. You love her too much, but instead, she does not love you as much as you do....
from what you said, i think you have talked to her calmly about this matter. But she does not understand, right ?
so now you have 2 solutions. One is working harder !! earn more money and fulfill what she does. Another one is to give up. i think she is not suitable for you. You love her too much, but instead, she does not love you as much as you do....
i'd dump her.
A cheating grilfriend happend to me twice and I'm so sick of it that i'd just dump here if she would cheat on me.
But I'm just happy to me single at the moment, at least, I think so. Just a small break between me and another girl, I have my freedom right now, and that feels good. I can just do everything with girls I want without cheating.
So what is it i'm trying to say?
Break up and you find yourself having your freedom back without al the whining of your girlfriend trying to hold something behind your back.
-Frietkot
A cheating grilfriend happend to me twice and I'm so sick of it that i'd just dump here if she would cheat on me.
But I'm just happy to me single at the moment, at least, I think so. Just a small break between me and another girl, I have my freedom right now, and that feels good. I can just do everything with girls I want without cheating.
So what is it i'm trying to say?
Break up and you find yourself having your freedom back without al the whining of your girlfriend trying to hold something behind your back.
-Frietkot
| danlvincaz wrote: |
| Me and my girlfriend caroline have been together almost 2 years, and she cheated on me a few weeks ago, simply because i complained to her on the phone because it was costing me £1.50 a minute from portugal to england, an she was talking to her friend wasting my money. So that night she went out and snogged a boy, and erm, yeh went abit further than that. i didnt deserve that though, i treat her like an angel all the time. i love her to pieces. but it always bothers me. Do you think we could last? I asked why she did it, and she just says, i dont know, and wont give me a straight answer. |
Weird. The first thing that will come out of your mind as you read this kind of post is; ‘Does this post contain enough details to make it accurate, thus, we can make a good opinion?' We can only hope we can hear both sides of the story. The big question here is, how did the poster learn about the cheating (… went a bit further)? Where did the information about the cheating come from? Was this supposed cheating verified beyond any shadow of doubt? If all questions can be answered clearly in favor of cheating then this topic is quite interesting, else, this may be another issue of ‘reverse psychology’ employed by the girl. If the previous statements outweigh the latter, then this will lead to confirm the idea that women cheat as much as men, and may even be worse.
With two years into a relationship, are you sure this is the first chance of cheating? Or, this is just the first time that you have full(?) knowledge about it? Can you think of another reason(s) aside from the trivial cost of phoning? Is her wasting your time and money by her preferring to continue talking with her friends, while you are on the other line, not enough indicator that the relationship lacks enthusiasm and is fast fading? And, she just uses any reasons (as minute as phone issues) to send you the signal (in different frequencies and bandwidth) that she wants to be out of the relationship sooner rather than later? Sometimes, men just need to be sensitive enough to read their partners’ mind; or, maybe you just preferred to ignore the wake-up calls by looking the other way?
The actual act of cheating was the culmination of all the previous signals your partner were sending you. And, it could have been done in purpose knowing that it is the easiest and the faster way for you to let her go. Her lack-luster ‘I don’t know’ response to your query why she did it was the coup d’grace – she made her point very, very clear – action speaks louder than words. Simply stated, her action indicates that she is no longer interested with you or in pleasing you in any manner. Though how painful it is, it is time to let her go. She has already been begging for so long.
Danlvincaz, it was not your fault. Some relationships have to end just like that - weird. Don’t dwell on the good things that you have done to her like treating her like an angel and loving her to pieces, which may not have pleased her taste buds as much as you hoped. Maybe it was only you happy doing it. Or maybe, you are doing it in the notion of being in love thus your gestures never reached her heart. Or maybe also, she wanted to be a ‘devil’ sometimes, etc.
Relationship is a two-way street affair. Understand your partner’s needs and desires from HER point not yours. That is why, it is needed that we exert efforts to know the inner and outer personalities of our partner before embarking into ‘goodness’ trip. You may end up reaching your destination in different vehicles. Remember, HOW you reached your destination is as important. Maybe your relationship has been traveling for two years, unfortunately, on a separate vehicle. I can only surmise because I can’t read your hearts and minds.
Learn from the experience and move on. This time, be sure to look for a worthy angel that loves being loved to pieces. And, both of you will be happy. Goodluck.
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