I have been dating my girlfriend for 8 months. She used to play hockey for a college team before I knew her and now is joining a rec league this month. I don't play hockey. There are about 18 other lesbians we hang out with on her team and it makes me sick to my stomach to think of her showering naked with the other girls on the team. I don't want all my friends showering with my girlfriend I feel like it is something intimate and special that is for me only and that is one of the very things that turns me on the most. Her defense is that most of them have seen her naked already- but that was before me. Now I want to be the only one who watches her undress completely. I think if this were a hetero relationship it would be different. I know nothing goes on in the shower.. but i cant help the way I feel. I have never felt jealous like this before but it is so strong i cant just ignore the feeling inside. She says her team mates will make fun of her if she doesn't join them.
I don't think I will be able to get over this. I feel like it will ruin the showers we do take together which are usually our foreplay cause they will no longer turn me on as I will think about her showering with my friends (and one of her ex's). It makes me feel gross.
Am I being unreasonable?
To me, it seems like you're in a very tough situation. On one hand, although I've never been in a situation such as yours, I can understand why you're upset. On the other hand, it would be unfair of you to ask your girlfriend not to shower with her team since she would be put in an awkward situation, and I'm sure that it's all innocent anyway.
Maybe you can find other turn-ons besides taking a shower with your girlfriend. Or, if not, then you can think of all of the special things that you share with her, that her friends don't (and not just sexual things). Just remember that none of her friends are able to experience the intimacy that you share with your girlfriend.
This probably didn't help, but as I said, you are trapped in a difficult situation. I would just tell her how you feel, and if you can't change anything, it probably won't be as bad as you think. Good luck, and I really hope it works out for you.
First off, I always wanted to be a lesbian.
Lighten up, I am no lesbian, not sure if you gals are prone to be swingers, good luck, maybe group lesbian action could be quite... mind expansive... JK, it's a male thought.. forgive us, if she wants that sorta one on one only monogamous relationship, she will still faithful, use your stress productively, use that jealously as deeper lust for a stronger love, don't let it bother you, don't sweat the small stuff, easier said than done i'm sure, remember darling, we all float on alright, have fun, do what you will, just try to love what you're doing, for whatever that means to you, hope it meant something or two.
Peace, you're lovely, good luck,
|Kendra wrote: |
Am I being unreasonable?
Well let me tell ya I do think you are being unreasonable, well she is not doing anything in the shower with her teamates and when she is in the shower with ya is a total different situation. It seems to me that you may be a little insecure of yourself, you don't say it but you may think that she can left ya for any of her teamates. Well just be carefull not to end up smothering her and ruinin everything(and then you may think she left ya for a teamate.). Jealousy is smthng you need to control.
I think its a completely normal reation for you given that situation, it's I would say a mechanism to which we you react to. Of course, there's no point in going with an issue if there isnt any, right? So I think I would say, chill for while, If you see anything out of the ordinary, then by all means.
:: Here and there.
Thats a tough spot. I compleatly understand but unfortunitly there dosent seem to be a good solution. Either get over it or start playing hockey and shower with the rest of them. I didnt know hockey was such a big les game.
Sorry to say, but I think you are being unreasonable. First of all, she has to shower after training or a game. Imagine she is all sweaty and all. I imagine this process of showering is not a lesbian orgy. It's girls that shower together. Ok, as man this sounds weird, because 18 girls showering together is like seeing an oasis in the desert. Back to the point. She is with you now...if she wanted to be with her ex, she would still be with her, don't you think?? She chose you!! That means something...give her that little bit of trust. You are making a huge deal out of something really simple. She is showering...if she loves you, she does not have sentiments with that. It is just an act. Keep on showering with her, just the two of you...because all thos 17 friends don't have that...you do!
I also think you are being unreasenable, but being unreasenable is a part of life and part of your relationship, so nothing wrong with that.
Time to think about WHY you are unreasenable. and Jelous. because there is always a reason behind these feelings.
What are the experiences that made you jelous in the past? (have you been through similar experiences before?). How were you raised? (did you always get stuff from you parents nobody else had?)
Ask yourself why you are jelous and unreasenable and you'll automatically find the way to deal with it.
Like a month late reply but oh well. I don't really think you're being unreasonable. But that is a tough situation. ThornsOfSorrow gave some good advice. I would just explain how I feel to her (which you've surely done already) and talk about ways to resolve your feelings of jealousy. You shouldn't pressure her to do anything, just see what she thinks would help and talk it out. Of course know that she's not trying to make you jealous.
go for an excellent date with your gurl fren,
enjoy best time with her and after that u will never feel like this,
u need a change.
Go Fot It