what is the best way to get over someone????
i mean seriously its rather tricky specialy if u let urself slip. i have yet to find a fail safe way to get over someone you like. this is jsut another rant type post to fill up space
| Dustylunchbox wrote: |
what is the best way to get over someone????
i mean seriously its rather tricky specialy if u let urself slip. i have yet to find a fail safe way to get over someone you like. this is jsut another rant type post to fill up space |
I dont think you can get over someone you really like.....you just get on with life without them...but there allways there in the back of your mind somewhereIts hardest to get over someone if you still see them every day, so if they're still a part of your daily routine, something needs to change. The best way is to simply get on with life without them, meet new people, try not to dwell on it.
Learn lessons from what happened - whatever happened, but don't dwell on the negative.
I completely agree with the others, one should simply let the experience with its goods and its bads in the back of his mind, and use it as experience and memories, with time you can make it look better on thhe best side and you forget the bad events .... to think that there is someone outthere who is gonna make you forget give a great deal of hope 
| Dustylunchbox wrote: |
what is the best way to get over someone????
i mean seriously its rather tricky specialy if u let urself slip. i have yet to find a fail safe way to get over someone you like. this is jsut another rant type post to fill up space |
It's corny, but time does heals a lot of wounds.
My simple advice is: kill the time.
After my former relationship ended, I was pretty heartbroken. Know what I did? I bought a game computer and I killed the time. This really helped me a lot. Keep thinking about it won't help, and wondering what went wrong.
It's over, accept it, get over it, kill time, heal wounds, get back to life.Time is definitely the magic bullet.
I try to think it through and say, "Here are the reasons why we should not be together," or "In the end you don't want to be with someone that is just pretending to like you, so it wouldn't work out anyways," but I think we all have ways of beating ourselves up over such things and finding 20 reasons about ourselves that the person doesn't like us.
I say learn to appreciate who you are and know what you would like to improve or develop in yourself at all times so that your relationships don't make or break you. Then just focus on the good things and let the time heal the wound.
Time helps....but for me finding a new relationship is the final nail in te coffin of an old relationship...if that isn't too gruesome of any analogy 
Once you find someone else to love, the old partner always fades to minor memory. I've just been through two rejections recently and both have been girls I was close with before I fell for them. So in the end the first girl I got over quickly because I started to fall for the second girl and now the second I can't seem to get out of my mind even though I still see her everyday and talk to her everyday I dont know.......it makes me soo happy when i talk to that girl but then again I know that I need to get over her. 
Picsite, I've definitely been in that position before. What helped me was this: When one friend has a crush on the other and the other doesn't have those feelings back and this is something that is out there at the surface, it can really put a strain on the friendship and the other friend. Sometimes it just takes realizing that if you care about someone that sometimes letting the romantic part of that go is something you can do for *them*, if not for yourself too.
Find a rebound, it takes a few days for the chemicals in your brain to stop
making you miss the other person. also avoid any contact, photo's etc.
Go out there and have fun! Get to meet new people. Spend less time in front of your PC. Soon you would meet someone you like/love even more than her/him.
getting over some one? well in case the other side rejects you or appeared using you not loveing you or just doesn't have the same feelings you have towards him/her and you need to get over it you have to do the following:
1- Yes, Kill the time but in something useful. cuz any unuseful thing or un-entertaining you'll find yourself slipping to thinking and remembering. Go doing sports, repair something at home, take more work hours. The idea is just don't leave yourself to memory and desperate.
2- Think positive of yourself specially before the time you go to sleep and right away when you wake up. If you find that the other side doesn't deserve your love and the whole relationship think of yourself the right way. Never think about what went wrong or what you have less than others. Make yourself think and feel like if s/he never deserved and that s/he lost you and you lost nothing.
3- Yes again, try to get away of everything reminds you of him/her. Memory is doubled blade in this case. Use it to your own good. If you still have to meet (room mate, work mate, class mate) keep the relation to its minimum and in the limits of work or class.
4- NO, finding another one or envolving yourself in a quick relation is some sort of cheating yourself. And guess what, you'll find yourself envolved with some one you may start to think "Oh god, how did I date that guy/girl" if it's just dating not deeper. Instead, don't be alone. Don't date or start a new relation BUT don't be alone. You can't work all day or do sports all day but having fun and having some joy with others (relatives or friends) will do the job for you without losing in another un prepared or uncalculated relationship.
5- FACE HIM/HER. If you wanna get over some one face him/her and tell him that s/he wounded you and messed up with your life and emotions. Don't keep it inside you and bear the pain alone. Make him/her share your pain and the feel of guilt of hurting you and cry out and wheep for their loss... YOU.
I hope that no one of you need this advices and this is not a professional just my 2 cents.
| Subsonic Sound wrote: |
Its hardest to get over someone if you still see them every day, so if they're still a part of your daily routine, something needs to change. The best way is to simply get on with life without them, meet new people, try not to dwell on it.
|
Definitely true. If you are really serious of letting her out of your system, then you should try to move on even if she's in your daily routine. But it's definitely easier if you no longer see him/her everyday.
I used to have a serious crush with this 1 girl back in high school, we tried to start a relationship but things didn't end well. I thought that i will never forget her, but after high school i did. After that, I learned that we should not be too hard on ourselves on forgetting someone, rather enjoy the moments you have been together. Sounds idealistic and hard? Who says that life of an adult is easy? 
All people are diffrent, and I believe there is no one way for everyone to get over people. I might get over people diffrent than others and I'm sure I get over girls alot diffrent than most girls get over guys. I've found that it is easiest for me to get over a girl by not talking to them or seeing them or looking at thier facebook or anything. I totally cut it off and dont let it linger around me. If they did something wrong and that is why it's over (cheating, lying etc...) then it usually helps me get over them if I throw a few choice words thier way that I know will make them feel bad, then I never give them the chance to say they are sorry, because I don't care. (I acctually do, but I know it hurts them and that's what I'm goin for) After totally cutting them out of my life, I usually hook up with a few fast girls then start dating and talkin to other people. Its that easy, although some people do it different, thats what I do.
Well, about a year and a half ago, my girlfriend broke up with me, at first I was all fine with it, but then I broke down. It was possibly one of the most terrible things a person could experience, short of an, ahem, butt probe (fortunately, I never had one). What I did to help get over her, are as follows:
01. Stopped listening to the music that reminded me of her.
02. Stopped talking with her often, and only on occasion.
03. Did tonnes of things to keep me distracted to help keep her out of mind.
Well, those aren't all the things I did, just the few from the top of my head.
I hope these help.
Cheers,
Dan.
P.S. I must point out, but I don't think it would happen to you, as people react differently in this kind of situation. But, what seems to have happened over time, is I hardened my emotions, particularly romance. I don't understand to love someone in this manner. I don't know how long this effect will last, but I believe it keeps me out of trouble.
Last edited by dan751 on Mon Oct 23, 2006 8:40 pm; edited 1 time in total
Surround yourself with people that you love and people that love you back, like your best friend, and your family. Those are people that you can trust and that you can count on.
And junk food always helps...lol
My answer to this question would simply be, to try not to look at their picture at all for 6 months. I have found out that if you do this then you don't remember much of that person anymore. Then after those 6 months make sure that you simply don't go and see that person again because that will bring up all the built up emotions since then.
Trust me I would now 
.
Now I would probably take down all the pictures, but i'm not saying to burn or throw them at someone, unless you either hate that specific person you're throwing it at or you do not like the person in question.
Either ways make sure you have some ibiprophen. Time cures any hurts.
______________________________
But get over some one you really like is the most cruel thing for yourself.
Time cures anything and everything but sometimes cure can hurt or just take a long time to revive you back again. So don't count on time only and its cure cuz it's like burning the wound... it's fast but ... ouch ... it hurts alot.
My solution is "FRIENDS" not just party friends but real friends. When my former relationship ended(I had been 3 years with the girl). I was like a piece of sh*t, I started skipping university classes(every class every day) I just didn't wanted to go out of my home. Then I started going out more with my friends even talking about it with them helped me a lot.
Sorry my english is not perfect.
Well, you really can't forget that person because he / she is now a part of your life. What you need to do is to accept and forgive. I think that's the most important thing to do than of trying to get rid of that person or to forget that person.
A distance apart to that person and a lot of time for yourself can add up to your fast recovery. I think somethings wrong with me...lol
I mean i've liked this girl that lives in another town for over a year now. I know she doesn't like me back, but i somehow keep on liking her. Sounds corny i know..but i've given up trying to not like her. Maybe one day someone else will pop into my life and help me get over her.
I agree with Benjmd...Time is the only thing that heals the pain...
Took me about 4 months until I stopped thinking about my ex day in and day out. So in order to pass that time, find yourself anything to do, that can be anything you like. Just doing something makes you help not to think about the person you always think about...
And one day...it's over...
It's been suggested by others in numberous ways, but throwing yourself into another project can be a good way of dealing with it. Work harder, play more sports, start a website (if you're technical like that), anything is good.
Not only will it keep your mind focused on something else, but you'll actually be a lot more productive too.
[quote="benjmd"]Time is definitely the magic bullet.
I try to think it through and say, "Here are the reasons why we should not be together," or "In the end you don't want to be with someone that is just pretending to like you, so it wouldn't work out anyways," but I think we all have ways of beating ourselves up over such things and finding 20 reasons about ourselves that the person doesn't like us.
I say learn to appreciate who you are and know what you would like to improve or develop in yourself at all times so that your relationships don't make or break you. Then just focus on the good things and let the time heal the wound.
Agreed. Time is the only thing I've found that really helps. You just can't put someone out of your mind. It doesn't work.
Well my best friend started goin out with someone bout 4 months ago and I got mad cause I was gonna ask he r out. I really like her and all. The thing is last night we had a dance at school and it like t hey barley talk to each other or anything.. makes me sad...
Time is the healer as mentioned earlier. WHen you get out of a serious relationship, it is always hard and you end up thinking about her/him most of the time. ANd i think it is normal and ok to think about them after all they had been a major part of your life.
To get over them, you need time, and some other things which can take the focus away from your ex.
an alternative is to have a few more than just one person to like... hehehe!
one down there's still a few around...
my advice is to just get back on the horse, find someone else and if that doesn't work then do anything and everything else to keep your mind off it. By doing this hopefully you'll be so busy with yourself in doing other things you'll forget all about them and you'll most likely find someone else while you're at it.
Here i would also have to agree with some of the posts Time in its fast moving yet slow healing motion is deffinatly the way and its not only time on its own its time you have to use.
The best way is to use the time not to reflect on the parts you have lost but to build on your own character as we all constantly have work to do when it comes to improving ourselves, and if you find that you failing now and then to really let go and sort of nack slide soetimes then use reality,
There obviously is a good reason you truely feel you want to get over this person so if you believe this is what you want to do then when ever you weaken just tell yourself these blantent reasons for why you left in the first place and why you so much want to get over this person that you have even posted a question and are hoping to find a solution, this obviously shows you really want to get over it so just remeber why and what made you decide so strongly.
I think its great you have already come very far as you are deffinatly sure you want to move on, allot of people are confused, at least you have that clear
good luck cheers Mic
Having just been dumped yesterday, I will contribute the following:
1. Purge. Let all those emotions out, then start sorting a little bit.
2. Time
3. Refocus on what makes you "you." Reestablish for yourself the parts of your life that you value besides just that special someone so that it is clear that life goes on in many good ways.
4. If everyone has someone for them, it certainly has to be someone who will love them fully - this last person couldn't give you just that, so they weren't right for you.
5. Let go of fear. Fear of finding someone new or ever getting past this person or dealing with changes the broken heart will bring is often the toughest part. But you shouldn't concern yourself with asking those questions. You should concern yourself with answering those questions. Go meet people, embrace your life, and refuse to dwell on the past.
At first it'll seem impossible--that these thoughts will never ever stop haunting you, but time does make things better. Avoid contact with them in any way possible, and if you can't bear to at least be parted with any artifacts on remnants of your relationship, put them all in a box somewhere that you won't be tempted to go and peek in every day. Find something else to occupy your time with; preferrably not a rebound girl/boy, but with friends, or a new hobby. Hopping right back into a relationship right after ending one is usually a bad idea so wait a month or two. If after months you still find yourself feeling depressed, you might want to go seek a therapist and get some professional help.
I find what most suffers during a breakup, regardless of the nature of it, is self-esteem and a daunting amount of spare time.
Self-esteem will replenish itself. Spare time tends to need filling. Hobbies, perhaps neglected freindships, anything you enjoy really (healthy pursuits of course).
Different realtionships take longer or shorter to get over, but having been a veteran of many, I can tell you it gets better.
I am in a crazy situation right and I am racking my brain trying to figure the best way to handle things so I can keep the little bit sanity I have left.
I will make it short, I am in a band that is doing really well right now , a lot shows booked , over seas tours, great money , awesome experience and oppurtunity. But my ex is the lead guy in the band , he taught me everything gave this great oppurtunity and so much more. He now of course many years later and many of his head games he just recently decided he does not feel for me even as a friend anymore because he would get pissy when I would try to communicate with him and ask him how we can get our friendship back to healthy point, I never get any answers.
He plays with alot of peoples emotions , wants his cake and eat too kinda thing , I do not know how to handle his rejection and I do not know how to deal with the other women he says is a friend but I can see it is much more, and it is going to be in my face for a long time. I do not want to quit the band, I have worked hard to get to this point and I do not want to have to walk away , just because my lame ass cant except the fact that out of the blue he became a freaking douchebag and is treating me like shit, it is making it hard to put my emotion into the music , how do play someone elses music with passion and all your heart when that person gives you nothing.
so much for being short, but i just so desperatly want to get over or have that friendship again, his acting like he cant stand me or could care less about me is driving me crazy and causing anxiety every time we play a show together I cannot just be ok with the fact that he does care about me at all anymore.
Please if anyone has any advice on how to be around someone you care about and they do not feel the same I would really appreciate any advice , even if it is going to be a little harsh
Peace. thanks
getting over people is one of the hardest things ive had to do and i seem to constantly go through it every time a relationship ends. (i get to attached )
but i have found that the best thing to do is distance yourself completly from them. this allows you to think normally, which you cant if you are constantly seeing them.
saying that it is still hard depending on the situation. sometimes i think that its easier just to never let anyone get close. then they cant hurt you.
| estring44 wrote: |
I am in a crazy situation right and I am racking my brain trying to figure the best way to handle things so I can keep the little bit sanity I have left.
I will make it short, I am in a band that is doing really well right now , a lot shows booked , over seas tours, great money , awesome experience and oppurtunity. But my ex is the lead guy in the band , he taught me everything gave this great oppurtunity and so much more. He now of course many years later and many of his head games he just recently decided he does not feel for me even as a friend anymore because he would get pissy when I would try to communicate with him and ask him how we can get our friendship back to healthy point, I never get any answers.
He plays with alot of peoples emotions , wants his cake and eat too kinda thing , I do not know how to handle his rejection and I do not know how to deal with the other women he says is a friend but I can see it is much more, and it is going to be in my face for a long time. I do not want to quit the band, I have worked hard to get to this point and I do not want to have to walk away , just because my lame ass cant except the fact that out of the blue he became a freaking douchebag and is treating me like shit, it is making it hard to put my emotion into the music , how do play someone elses music with passion and all your heart when that person gives you nothing.
so much for being short, but i just so desperatly want to get over or have that friendship again, his acting like he cant stand me or could care less about me is driving me crazy and causing anxiety every time we play a show together I cannot just be ok with the fact that he does care about me at all anymore.
Please if anyone has any advice on how to be around someone you care about and they do not feel the same I would really appreciate any advice , even if it is going to be a little harsh
Peace. thanks |
I think the worst thing is to psycho analyze things as that is certain to drive you crazy in the head. The only person that can change is you. To get your life back you need to take control of you not of him. Maybe this is like heroin. Most heroin addicts only really have great trips during the first few sessions, and during the rest of it they keep on fixing with heroin in the hope that they can get the great highs of those first trips back. So maybe you could be addicted to a friendship with this guy? You want something back that you can never have again. So possibly you need to take stock of this for you and revise your expectations so that it would be ones that focus on you for you rather than expectations for someone who really only brought you happiness a long time ago, and perhaps has moved on with his life.I also met someone in other forum. I could not get rid of him. everyday I'm always thinking of him...I curse him that I hope he too would be thinking of me every now and then up to the point he wish to see me in person... so it would be fair...I mean for no reason at all he stop talking to me we had a nice conversation and all. I was already trusting him so much so that I feel like I like him already.We set to meet already but the day before it he said he wouldn't make it and then that's it . he's gone what kind of man is that making a woman fell for him and then will leave...Maybe I am an idiot...but I could not stop thinking about him... The best thing to do if you decide to breakup is to get married. Then once you are divorced you'd be glad it's over and move on quite easily. Plus, once you've discovered the cold, hard truth of marriage then every relationship after will detour you from ever getting too attached. Marriage can really kill ones confidence in the matters of love.
that's why I don't want to get married yet...its a complicated thing.
You need to reduce the amount of time you think about that person. Get yourself involved in other activities, like gym, charity work, etc. Do not isolate yourself. Rather, find new friends and be more outgoing. Having someone to talk to also helps a lot. Someone like a friend or a counsellor.
Hey when I've had to deal with a breakup I always make sure to avoid or cut out that person entirely or as much as possible because it often ended up making things worse.
After that I would definately turn to close friends to try to spend your time with them because I know my friends are always there for me and to cheer me up and maybe even spend more time with your family. The worst thing I think you could do is be alone and sulk over it. Don't get me wrong go ahead and give youself some time to recover but I would not give it more than one or two weeks. Oh and maybe pick up a new hobby or goto the gym something to distract your mind from any pissed off/ sad feelings you may have.
