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for all those losers





Lennon
I feel like a loser at the mo.

I used to act weird and be really irritating, feeling awkard with myself not able to fit in. I was trying to hard, just really annoying in your face type.
So I learned to relax and settle down. I'm happy on my own, and I am content with being quiet in the background just observing, letting the world revolve around with or without me. In other words, I've lost my motivation to try and fit in with the crowds, coz it's no use, I'm not like the rest, I don't blend in and it's no use trying. People let me hang out but don't help me blend in. I feel left out of normal conversations, they're too complicated for me, I'm someone with too basic personal skills. At my age, 22, I can only really talk about games and simple things, anything professional, spontaneous or highly confident is beyond me.

anyone else feel the same?
CharKargis Olort
I used to feel the same... I'm a bit older now, so of course things change. If you want some free advice:

1) Don't jump into a relationship or marriage, just because someone seems interested... you're gonna end up burnt (speaking from experience), take your time and be careful

2) Relax... you have friends, if people are "just letting" you hang out, there's something there that they find interesting, so go with it, because if I remember correctly, people didn't just let somebody hang around if they weren't contributing something, somewhere

Always willing to talk.... so drop me a line, if you want
loryl
I used to be like that 'til recently, when my job forced me to become more open.

Now, I just feel like a blonde. Sad

So yeah, don't let your brain rot just so you can fit in!
ThornsOfSorrow
I definitely know where you're coming from. I have one good friend, and a few aquaintances, but nothing more. Like you, I used to try very hard to fit in and have friends, but I quickly discovered that I'm too shy to talk to people. Most of the time, if someone actually comes up to me and tries to start a conversation (which is rare), I'll try my best to talk to them, but they usually take my shyness as me being anti-social or just not liking them. Now I go to college and eat lunch by myself each day, but it no longer bothers me. At first being by myself all the time was very lonely, but it soon becomes surprising how interesting it can be. Watching people and listening to the conversation around me (not eavesdropping, mind you, simply hearing people talk whether I want to or not) can really keep a person entertained. Besides, I tend to do a lot more thinking when I'm alone than with I'm with someone else, which is always good.

You're not a loser; just give it time and you'll find someone who you can relate to and talk to, and if not, it isn't the end of the world.
HoboPelican
Lennon wrote:
....People let me hang out but don't help me blend in. I feel left out of normal conversations, they're too complicated for me, ...



Pfft, I doubt if they are too complicated for you...More likely they are too banal for you understand WHY they even bother. Loser? Nah, just a thinker. Over thinker maybe. But I'm glad to see you've gotten past trying to fit in with a group that most likey isn't your goup anyway.

I can't offer any solace for right now. Just keep your eyes open for people of a similar mind. You don't need a bunch of friends...just one or two good ones.


Good luck!
kokziwen
man....
don't ever feel sad or down...
whatever had been just let it be. it's becoz u whatever that happened can't be changed and what u can do is to make things better! Make your future better!
so, just let the pass passed and look forward for the future....

hope u all can understand what i am going to say coz i have a poor english... hehe
supjapscrapper
ThornsOfSorrow wrote:
I definitely know where you're coming from. I have one good friend, and a few aquaintances, but nothing more. Like you, I used to try very hard to fit in and have friends, but I quickly discovered that I'm too shy to talk to people. Most of the time, if someone actually comes up to me and tries to start a conversation (which is rare), I'll try my best to talk to them, but they usually take my shyness as me being anti-social or just not liking them. Now I go to college and eat lunch by myself each day, but it no longer bothers me. At first being by myself all the time was very lonely, but it soon becomes surprising how interesting it can be. Watching people and listening to the conversation around me (not eavesdropping, mind you, simply hearing people talk whether I want to or not) can really keep a person entertained. Besides, I tend to do a lot more thinking when I'm alone than with I'm with someone else, which is always good.

You're not a loser; just give it time and you'll find someone who you can relate to and talk to, and if not, it isn't the end of the world.



Pffffffff ...... none of you is a loser .... let me just take a few line to tell you about me. I always used to be the entertainer, the guy always at the center of conversations without even trying to, the one who speaks 10 times more than the others, the one who every day and evening makes new "friends", the one who is always stressed because he has to do so much things, the one with many friends circles ... and I always thought that since I didn't try at all to be like that it was just simply my personality and that I could do nothing against it ... this way of behaviour gets you very few real freunds, and luckiliy, since I have had extremely a lot of contact to very different people, I have at least gained the experience that allows me to know which people could be my real freunds, and I just really have a few of them. The way I used and still do behave helps you not gain a lot of respect either since you're the entertainer, the funny guy .... and no one or only a few thinks you are worth friendship .... so you end up being alone in the middle of the mass although being surrounded by people. Many times I try to settle down and be like some of my friends wh are really laid back and don't really speak a lot, stll they get respect and recognition, but then y nature come back and sh*** I can do nothing about it Very Happy so now it often happens to me that I retract and try to stay alone to do wome thinking for a week or so, and not meet many people, which I like a lot.
Sadow
In my opinion we are all loosers, we polute the earth, make war all the time and we all persue the wrong things like wealth. We are greedy, selfish, hatefull, and often unpleasant to be with. We people are real vermin most of the time. Or as one good book puts it very nicely: we are dead in sins.
We abuse men, woman and even children for crying outloud. Sodom and Gomorra has returned today, and I don't want to preach but its the *blieb*-ing truth.
The only way to prevent being a looser is accept the above statement and to consider yourself as not being better than the rest. Try and make this world a better place. Try to add happiness to other peoples lives and when it is time for you and me to die, it sure as hell ain't worth saying: I have 1,436,900 dollars on my bankaccount... you poor miserable human being...
But this will be worth saying: I did my best in this rotten world and tried to make people around me more happy, and I'm glad people liked me and that they will be sad I died...

(It may be a little bit out of topic and still this is all about relationships with other people, so it is worth to ponder on for some time my friend, for you actually know... your time in this world is pretty short...)
Lennon
WOW!!! That's quite a lot to take in.

You guy's really speak the heart, and it seems I've quite a lot to learn from you. Damn right there's times I want to be surrounded with people, but as supjapscrapper says that it doesn't always work out that way.

Thornsofsorrow, I feel exactly the same and i understand, so many lonely lunches but you get used to it. My aim is to open out to people, make an effort and have at least a mutual respect and understanding, so that I can get along alright with everyone, maybe not the most exciting but that humans we are we might find something in common, hence peer groups. The only block I have is my low-self esteem and my more simple-mindedness. On a good day I find myself connecting with my peers, and on a bad day I feel it was all a waste of time.

Sadow I think you have to find love, true love that will turn your heart around. Like me I feel like I have to recognize my faults and learn to live with them. Yes, we're bloody eejits at times, sometimes we do stupid things. But I'm trying to say we have to accept our strengths too, something that gives us hope, something to make us stand up for ourselves, something to offer to others. We become whole when we accept our positives and negatives.

Hebopelican, as you can see, I am too much of a thinker. But yet my friends are no more than if they need someone to go out with, they ring me coz it saves them going out on their own and they know I like going out too. We actually don't do anything together, no hanging out on the streets, hanging out doing sports or having the craic or anything. Just someone they can rely on.

And really the rest of you guys just say the things I needed to hear, just a word of encouragement was what I really needed, but yet I need counselling. I know about the negatives and positives to a large extent, but lack the self-esteem and confidence to overcome my fears, if I found a girlfriend I could let it all out and shine with my romantic idealistic nice guy side.
Sadow
Lennon wrote:
Sadow I think you have to find love, true love that will turn your heart around. Like me I feel like I have to recognize my faults and learn to live with them. Yes, we're bloody eejits at times, sometimes we do stupid things. But I'm trying to say we have to accept our strengths too, something that gives us hope, something to make us stand up for ourselves, something to offer to others. We become whole when we accept our positives and negatives.


Yes, love is the key. Why do people want wealth or a beautiful car or that kinda stuff? For a big part to earn love and respect by other people. Just ponder on it, and you'll know it's the truth. What if you have all the riches in the world, but you are the last man on earth? No one would say to you: "wow look at your stuff, that's cool!". That would suck, now wouldn't it. Why is it nice to hear things like that? It's because you hunger for respect and love and you want to be accepted by other people.
Only love is not asking for someone to make a lot of money in his life or be succesful. No, love can be obtained without being a good or succesful person. It's just that people have lost the knowledge on how to love and why we should love. Accepting all your own flaws and accepting the flaws of other people is the first step to find love again.
Sava
in my opinion ... girls are looking for money these days. I just am myself ... and have a gf which I love and she loves me. And we are happy without a Lambourghini Very Happy
picsite
I am 17 and almost 18 and I feel for you and for myself who is in a similar position. I just feel like giving up and let whatever wants to happen happen because I dont care anymore. I think its a form of depression because in the past two months I've been rejected by two girls who were close friends I feel for....but im gettin off topic....anywayz what I'm trying to say is there is usually something behind this feeling of not even wanting to try to fit in...
Lennon
Is it like a bad habit or laziness, if it's not depression.
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