I am completely an utterly invisible to my neighbors. I’ve lived across the street from them for eight years now and they still can’t see me, no matter what kind of clothes I wear or what I do with my appearance in any way.
Neighbors on the right and left of me can see me and wave. I even know their names but the people from across the road will look straight at me and not give the slightest inkling that they recognize any form of life. Not even their kids can see me.
It can’t be because they’re Muslim because when I go to the Oriental Plaza (a mall owned by Muslims) and I have money to spend they can see me just fine. And they’re friendly; they always promise a special deal just for me by exclaiming “...for you only my friend”.
Can anyone cast some light on this mystery that causes me much pain?
have you tried going over to their place and introduce yourself? Maybe bake them a cake
I don't think that because they are muslims they don't see you. Probably they are just shy or something like that. In the university I saw a bunch of people which whom I had classes before and they don't salute me either, but that is because I am not social enough to start a conversation with them or at leat say Hi. Maybe if some day you make a party you colud invite some of your neighbors and get to know them better. The things is that if you want something you have to do something to get it, give the first step and you will see that things come out right.
Some people don't like to socialise.
Thanks for showing interest in my predicament.
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| a_dubDesign - have you tried going over to their place and introduce yourself? |
| Quote: |
| freeedy - give the first step and you will see |
When I’d just moved in I remember standing in my driveway. My neighbor stood in his, I thought we’d made eye contact and I gave a little wave. He just stood staring so I started crossing the road to go and introduce myself. Halfway over he abruptly turned and hurried into his property closing the gate behind him.
How do you talk to someone that cannot see you.
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| a_dubDesign - Maybe bake them a cake |
I like the idea of baking them a cake a lot, but I don’t think I’ll be able to handle the rejection if they treat my cake half as bad as they treat me.
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| freeedy - I don't think that because they are muslims |
I’m positive it’s not because they’re Muslim. Like I said the shop owner Muslims like me a lot.
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| The Conspirator - Some people don't like to socialise. |
I don’t have any particular need to socialize with my neighbors either. But I do think I should treat them in a civil and courteous manner by greeting them when we see each other. Acknowledging another human being, especially one as intimate as that of sharing a physical community can only be beneficial for that community as a whole, and it costs absolutely nothing.
Thanks again for showing concern. This is an exceptionally troubling dilemma for me. | Rico wrote: |
| Thanks again for showing concern. This is an exceptionally troubling dilemma for me. |
no prob bro, I've been there beforeMaybe they hate you. Have you tried being ON the street, perhaps on their sidewalk?
| Rico wrote: |
I am completely an utterly invisible to my neighbors. I’ve lived across the street from them for eight years now and they still can’t see me, no matter what kind of clothes I wear or what I do with my appearance in any way.
Neighbors on the right and left of me can see me and wave. I even know their names but the people from across the road will look straight at me and not give the slightest inkling that they recognize any form of life. Not even their kids can see me.
It can’t be because they’re Muslim because when I go to the Oriental Plaza (a mall owned by Muslims) and I have money to spend they can see me just fine. And they’re friendly; they always promise a special deal just for me by exclaiming “...for you only my friend”.
Can anyone cast some light on this mystery that causes me much pain? |
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Peace be upon you.
Okay well first of all, it's not because they are Muslim. You know why? Because i'm a Muslim lol.
Second of all, do this:!
Operation 'Make me visible!'.
step1)try SLOWLY talking to them. So first make sure you say good morning to them/afternoon/whatever to them. Do this for a week. Every time you see them say it.
step2) Then start adding jokes e.g. {good morning...and incase i do not see you, good afternoon, good evening and good night}, or maybe asking for something e.g. "can i borrow your *inset DIY tool*.
I.e. prolong the talk.
step3) Change the talk into a conversation. Invite them for a drink (non-alchol . Muslims do not drink stuff like wine, beer for religious purposes.) in your house/garden/event (not to the pub!). Maybe try dinner (don't give them anything from pig, e.g. no ham, pork).
step4) Become good friends with the guy. Share problems, jokes, and so on.
step5) Report on progress and i shall continue giving you Operation 'Make me visible!'.
Note: they could be horibubble people. in that case leave them alone. Just remember the road to sucess is by taking small steps. So make sure you start off with 'hello and goodmorning' and progress slowly to 'nice weather, isn't it?'
| Quote: |
When I’d just moved in I remember standing in my driveway. My neighbor stood in his, I thought we’d made eye contact and I gave a little wave. He just stood staring so I started crossing the road to go and introduce myself. Halfway over he abruptly turned and hurried into his property closing the gate behind him.
How do you talk to someone that cannot see you.
Quote:
a_dubDesign - Maybe bake them a cake
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I have an idea. November is coming up. This is when Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset with no food and water. Make them a meal and give it just before sunset (if you give them AT sunset they will all be praying and probaly will not answer the door). Say "i know you are fasting so when you stop here is a meal" or something like that.
May God help you.Perhaps there like me.
I withe my neighbors to the right and left of my house but I've only talked to my neighbors across the street twice (once after having to catch my dogs after they got out and another time wen looking for the home of a dog that wondered up to my house) but other that that we don't talk to each other or even wave at each other.
My point is its not that there rude or that your invisible to them, thats just the way they are.
| Hobbit wrote: |
| Maybe they hate you. Have you tried being ON the street, perhaps on their sidewalk? |
What are you saying; your vernacular is way too cryptic for me? | Quote: |
| loyal - Operation 'Make me visible!'. |
Loyal, I can't tell you how much I appreciate the attention you’re giving this matter. I must confess that most of your suggestions invoke reactive responses in me. I was under the impression that I’d conferred accurately that I do not think religion is the problem here. The fact that they will not even make eye contact with me makes greeting, however slow and gentle not come into the picture at all. But the sincerity with witch you articulated the advice caused me to have an epiphany (I think the runoff on The Conspirator’s signature - "The world is multifaceted, you can not see reality from one persecutive, you must look at it from many perspectives."- was also a catalyst in changing the way that I think).
The epiphany is this: they look down on me not because they’re Muslim, it’s because they’re wealthy. It all makes sense now, how could I have been so blind? What a relief, it’s not religious bigotry just good old fashion snobbery.
This is quite amazing. I don’t feel any better but I do feel enriched from experiencing a paradigm shift in my thinking. Loyal, and every one else that helped, my deepest gratitude.
PS. Any suggestions in dealing with snobs?
[/quote]i go to bristol Uni so my BSc will come with a subsid in snob techniques.
i suppose it depends what you mean by snob, but if you mean stuck up rich people i'm your man.
step one, dont judge them, many of my friends are of the rich snob type, but once you know them it really isnt such a problem.
step two, accept that for the minute they have judged you. this sounds stupid but you need to enter their minds, what are they thinking about you?
Step three, talk about things that they may be interested in, there is no point in talking to many rich people about manual labour, luggin shotties in the park, etc try talking about polo, rowing, pims, the opera & balet, and classical music etc. Once they realise that you are actually an intelligent person, it is not so difficult!
i'm sure im goign to get flamed for the above but, in my experience it's true!!! and remember, you may never ever be able to crack the snotty little eton kids that think you were born to serve them, its impossible!
| Rico wrote: |
| Quote: | | loyal - Operation 'Make me visible!'. |
Loyal, I can't tell you how much I appreciate the attention you’re giving this matter. I must confess that most of your suggestions invoke reactive responses in me. I was under the impression that I’d conferred accurately that I do not think religion is the problem here. The fact that they will not even make eye contact with me makes greeting, however slow and gentle not come into the picture at all. But the sincerity with witch you articulated the advice caused me to have an epiphany (I think the runoff on The Conspirator’s signature - "The world is multifaceted, you can not see reality from one persecutive, you must look at it from many perspectives."- was also a catalyst in changing the way that I think).
The epiphany is this: they look down on me not because they’re Muslim, it’s because they’re wealthy. It all makes sense now, how could I have been so blind? What a relief, it’s not religious bigotry just good old fashion snobbery.
This is quite amazing. I don’t feel any better but I do feel enriched from experiencing a paradigm shift in my thinking. Loyal, and every one else that helped, my deepest gratitude.
PS. Any suggestions in dealing with snobs?
|
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I will always help you if i can, good friend. Just ask.
Now if what you say is true. If they are people who look down upon you, i would want a chat with them if i could. They are being hypocrites...
The Qur'an says this in regarding to equality:
Glorious Qur'an [3:195]: Their Lord responded to them: "I never fail to reward any worker among you for any work you do, be you male or female - you are equal to one another...
So they are wrong to be snobbish.
I can't help you with snobs, i just ignore them.
May God help you.Thank you guys, the stuff about the rich people is informative, but truly I don’t have the energy much less the time. And loyal, I’m sure if you had the opportunity you’d be able to straighten them out brother.
Didn't Clinton say that rich people are different?
| The Conspirator wrote: |
| Some people don't like to socialise. |
Aristoteles quote
"The human is a social being"
(I hope I translated right from greek.)billys you are minus one point! keep posting or your account will be deleted!
