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Would you marry a HIV Positive Partner?
A friend who is HIV negative is dating his HIV positive girlfriend. What are the odds if he should want to marry her? Can this really be a test of real love?
Man, that is a bad decision to have to make. Love, disease, blame, guilt. Man, I don't even know how to think about it all. Those two just need to be really sure about what they do.
pffff.... difficult. on the one hand, IF they decide to marry, they can never have children, because she is positive. Or they should adopt. And then there is the sex-thing. This can never be fully safe and so it should be better to not have sex at all. also pretty much an issue.
If they decide not to marry, they might feel guilty for not doing so. later on in life realising that you should've married your girlfriend although she was HIV positive can leave guilt, even if the partner is already gone. (although there are a lot of medicin which stop the hiv from progressing).
Undecided. Very much, and agreeing with hobo, I hope they know what they do... whatever that may be.
If they decide not to marry, they might feel guilty for not doing so. later on in life realising that you should've married your girlfriend although she was HIV positive can leave guilt, even if the partner is already gone. (although there are a lot of medicin which stop the hiv from progressing).
Undecided. Very much, and agreeing with hobo, I hope they know what they do... whatever that may be.
but doesn't HIV kill you, like really slowly so wouldn't their marriage end sooner than they would want?
HIV positive is not AIDS picsite. HIV positive may be a dormant state for AIDS (putting it simple).
She may not have any problems for a long while with the correct medication. IF (or when
) it becomes active, the state we call AIDS, then problems will rise.
As for the question, I don't think anyone can answer it unless they have been through that process. It's a very complicated issue and has a lot of precautions that may cause problems between them.
I just hope SHE can lead her life as normal as possible and without complications for a long period of time and that HE is able to stay by her side and enjoy the great things a life in common has (with the setbacks already spoken about, but there's more to life than that).
Good luck to both of them
Be Well
She may not have any problems for a long while with the correct medication. IF (or when
) it becomes active, the state we call AIDS, then problems will rise.
As for the question, I don't think anyone can answer it unless they have been through that process. It's a very complicated issue and has a lot of precautions that may cause problems between them.
I just hope SHE can lead her life as normal as possible and without complications for a long period of time and that HE is able to stay by her side and enjoy the great things a life in common has (with the setbacks already spoken about, but there's more to life than that).
Good luck to both of them
Be Well
I think it's all right, if they really love each other. Though it would impose great danger for the other and for the child, I do not think it should be a hindrance for their love. They can live together, marry, and have a happy life by accepting the situation as it is and accept death as it comes. It would hurt, but turning away from the love because of the virus would hurt too anyway. About having a child, they should think carefully about it.
Have you guys heard about the japanese drama "Kamisama Mou Sukoshi Dake" (God give me more time)? It's about a young woman who's been transmitted with HIV virus after sleeping with a man. She met and fell in love with a famous songwriter who have experienced losing a loved one before and is afraid to lose another again. It's really touching.
I just thought about sharing it to you guys. If you want, you can watch it. It's available on youtube, log in first to access the video.
Have you guys heard about the japanese drama "Kamisama Mou Sukoshi Dake" (God give me more time)? It's about a young woman who's been transmitted with HIV virus after sleeping with a man. She met and fell in love with a famous songwriter who have experienced losing a loved one before and is afraid to lose another again. It's really touching.
I just thought about sharing it to you guys. If you want, you can watch it. It's available on youtube, log in first to access the video.
It's now possible for a HIV positive mother to give birth without transmitting the virus to the child, though the procedure is not yet a 100% success. However, they can adopt children to be on a safe side. What I'm more worried about is the sex issue. We all know that condoms do not give 100% protection.
It's really a difficult situation which points out more reasons we need to pray that God helps us find a vaccine for this deadly virus.
It's really a difficult situation which points out more reasons we need to pray that God helps us find a vaccine for this deadly virus.
If you love him/her too much and that you could overcome the courage of transmitted the HIV virus, go ahead.
But in my opinion, this risk is too much, too much as it will potentially, or rather surely, take away your life. Would you do that far to secure your love?
To me, I'd rather be in close friends with her. Though this might be a discrimination, but your life is at stake. Value your life! Otherwise, you have to resist the urge of having sex with him/her, something that completes the marriage I believe.
But in my opinion, this risk is too much, too much as it will potentially, or rather surely, take away your life. Would you do that far to secure your love?
To me, I'd rather be in close friends with her. Though this might be a discrimination, but your life is at stake. Value your life! Otherwise, you have to resist the urge of having sex with him/her, something that completes the marriage I believe.
It's really a difficult situation and decision.
C'mon marrying leads to making love and HIV is STD's so you should always be very careful with using contraceptives if you marry an HIV positive partner. So why take risk??? Better not to marry. I think HIV positive people should find their partners with the same disease.
I would so not hit that.
I know that some people get HIV disease through non-sexual relationship.
but I think having relationship with someone with HIV is too much of a risk.... I might think differently if I truly loved him but since I've never expericned that kind of love yet.... I would say no.
but I think having relationship with someone with HIV is too much of a risk.... I might think differently if I truly loved him but since I've never expericned that kind of love yet.... I would say no.
I recently heard that there is a study going on about the notion of being immune to HIV due to some degree of constant exposure to the virus. Mention was made of the much-studied Tanzanian prostitutes who hardly get infected despite being severally exposed to the threat of infection. Well, if this hypothesis happens to be valid, then that might lead to some significant breakthrough.
| saiyeek wrote: |
| C'mon marrying leads to making love and HIV is STD's so you should always be very careful with using contraceptives if you marry an HIV positive partner. So why take risk??? Better not to marry. I think HIV positive people should find their partners with the same disease. |
Thats just COLD, very very COLD.
Who are we to judge them? It maybe their own actions that led them to their current situation, but their current situation is not of their own choosing.
I'd say that if you can take her for what she is, go ahead and marry. And give her the best on her last days.
Kidding aside, if you get infected, at least you are guaranteed to spend eternity with each other.
That is a VERY difficult decision, I voted Undecided.
Probably not, I don't like to get a HIV.
Marriage is out of the question. Would you respond with love for this person, even to intimacy. Marriage is a life-long commitment and could continue without sex for everafter afterwards if they decided. If that was me I'd get married for the rest of her life without having sex. Maybe consider IVF or other.
love doent means sex. if we love someone then we can spend whole life with that person
I voted no. Put it simple. If you marry her you will get hurt twice. First you could contract the plague. Secondly, you know that her time is limited. Now if you decided not to marry her, you will get hurt once, which is regretting not pursuing the love of your life. So the choice is kinda obvious if we put it in simple way. However I do know its not that simple, but for me I would forget it in pain. Seriously, there is no future in that relationship, the fate is already well written all over the place. People might get blind by love at the start, but once they ride through hell when they get married, I think there would be more heartache than sweet moments.
Anyway, if your friends decided to still marry her, just make sure he is a really strong guy inside, otherwise he will crumble like there is no tomorrow. Best of luck and wishes them all the best.
Anyway, if your friends decided to still marry her, just make sure he is a really strong guy inside, otherwise he will crumble like there is no tomorrow. Best of luck and wishes them all the best.
You are so lucky to have found someone to love and be with. No one truly knows what it is to love until they are face with the question of would you still love me if...? Just as tragic as HIV is, it is not a death sentence. Your friends should be concerned, but they should also be supportive and educate themselves, as I hope you are doing as well. Many people marry others that suffer from diabetes, MS, high blood pressure, etc. and will die a lot sooner than a person with HIV will. However, those diseases don't carry the same fear and stigmas although they should. However, there is something very freeing about recognizing that the person you are with has a time limit. It becomes very difficult not to get up every day thinking how lucky you are to have an opportunity to appreciate THAT day, THAT hour, and THAT moment. Most people get too caught up in sex, money, small every day stresses that makes love difficult. How do I know? I am one of the few people that will be able to tell my children, I married my best friend and he is HIV positive. I don't talk about him in the past tense. I only see our present and our future. There are some precautions that you should and have to take to protect both of you, but after a while those things become second nature. We are about to have twins (thanks, to sperm washing) and so far everything has been great. He is extremely healthy and we hope in a year or two to adopt another child. We fully recognize that he could get sick in a year, 6, 15, 25... whatever. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow or die of a heart attack. We have our living wills in place, try to make sure we are not accumulating debt, take advantage of whatever public programs are available, we both live as healthy as possible, and we surround ourselves with people in our same type of situation. Lots of people would marry abusers, drug dealers/ addicts, criminals, and jerks, before marrying a person with HIV. That is so dumb to me. HIV is a disease like any other disease. Love your girl fully and completely. She is not dead and neither of you deserve to live a half life. By the way, my husband and I are only 26 years old, and I can honestly say that nothing is ever as it appears in the land of "ever after" but at least we have chosen to live happily. If I die tomorrow I can say what most people will never be able to say and that is I my life, my man, and our family is my dream come true. Good luck and lots of love to you!!!!
"Do not pity the dead, pity the living- and above all us, those who live without love...."
"Do not pity the dead, pity the living- and above all us, those who live without love...."
Look up Dr. Sebi!!! We hope to see him soon!
| douzy wrote: |
| A friend who is HIV negative is dating his HIV positive girlfriend. What are the odds if he should want to marry her? Can this really be a test of real love? |
well strange, but i dont know, how far this can go well.... not ware of wat exactly love is.... but well wats the diffrence.... thier relation is like.... watermelon falling on a knife or knife falling on watermelon.... not safe on either side's....... May Allah Bless Them....
Hi everyone. I have a friend who's HIV positive and she's been with her HIV negative boyfriend for 3 years now. She speaks at a lot of HIV awareness seminars and stuff and does a lot of work with other infected.
She's told us that she's getting married soon and well...we wish her all the best.
She says that they do have sex but they always use protection and never takes the chance of not using it!
As for me I cannot say that I would or would not marry an HIV positive person I think I can only make that decision if and when I am in the situation.
She's told us that she's getting married soon and well...we wish her all the best.
She says that they do have sex but they always use protection and never takes the chance of not using it!
As for me I cannot say that I would or would not marry an HIV positive person I think I can only make that decision if and when I am in the situation.
Absolutely no for me, I don't have to marry a HIV positive which of course will eventually die. I will only help her in any other means.
| frih wrote: |
| love doent means sex. if we love someone then we can spend whole life with that person |
that's exactely what i think about love, they are both different things and i think that youy could be married to HIV positive person if you really like her, and if she is not to ill!!
It will be horible to lost a person just after the wedding!
[quote="douzy"]It's now possible for a HIV positive mother to give birth without transmitting the virus to the child, though the procedure is not yet a 100% success. However, they can adopt children to be on a safe side. What I'm more worried about is the sex issue. We all know that condoms do not give 100% protection.
[quote]
and that's a great information!!!!!!!!!
[quote]
and that's a great information!!!!!!!!!
well they can have children. It can b done by artificial insemination ( i hope i got the term correct) without having intercourse.
Other than that marriage is completely dependent on how they value each other. I i was in place of her i wud distance myself from him for his own good no matter how tough the decision was. But sometimes love is more than just having sex. So it really depends on how strong their love is and and how huch they can sacrifice to just to be together
Other than that marriage is completely dependent on how they value each other. I i was in place of her i wud distance myself from him for his own good no matter how tough the decision was. But sometimes love is more than just having sex. So it really depends on how strong their love is and and how huch they can sacrifice to just to be together
I voted Yes.. I would marry them.
Because i feel that if my gf was to have it, i would still love her soo much. The things we do together and the way we are is great. I'm sure you would feel the same.
I know my gf has something, and im not worried about it at all. I trust her and she trusts me, we are responsible. I would marry her tommorow if i could =]
Because i feel that if my gf was to have it, i would still love her soo much. The things we do together and the way we are is great. I'm sure you would feel the same.
I know my gf has something, and im not worried about it at all. I trust her and she trusts me, we are responsible. I would marry her tommorow if i could =]
yeh it ll b a real test
| douzy wrote: |
| A friend who is HIV negative is dating his HIV positive girlfriend. What are the odds if he should want to marry her? Can this really be a test of real love? |
The love may actually exist, but I voted undecided because any precise answer would be speculation; I've never been in that actual situation.
True love doesn't come only once, so there's no reason to hop in the death boat with someone you could replace with a little time and healing.
Re: Would you marry a HIV Positive Partner?
People living with HIV can and do marry!
HIV+ individuals can and do have sexual relations and can have children without infecting them.
I am HIV+ but my partner is NOT HIV+. My being HIV+ positive was not an issue for my partner and we were married in 2001.
Bradford ( HIV+ since 1984 )
www.PositivelyPositive.ca
People living with HIV can and do marry!
HIV+ individuals can and do have sexual relations and can have children without infecting them.
I am HIV+ but my partner is NOT HIV+. My being HIV+ positive was not an issue for my partner and we were married in 2001.
Bradford ( HIV+ since 1984 )
www.PositivelyPositive.ca
Just curious: were you invoked in this forum just to post in this topic? Is it part of an agenda?
All those people thinking that it would be sad to lose a partner after you get married, my question is do you think just because you get married your spouse won't die? There are heart attacks, cancer, hit and runs, guns, hurricanes, etc. that can and will take out your loved ones more quickly and tragically than HIV will. Limitations on love simply mean that you never truly learned to love. I know people that get married and their spouse is doing life in prison. It seems much more cruel to love someone and not be able to touch them or hug them or create memories with them for the next 40 or 50 years, then to live a full and gratifying life with someone for the next 20-30 years.
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