Got any good ones? I've got these:
A local charity had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The director called to get a contribution.
"Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven't given a penny to charity," the director began. "Wouldn't you like to help the community?"
The lawyer replied, "Did your research show that my mother is ill, with medical bills several times her annual income?"
"Um, no," mumbled the director.
"Or that my brother is blind and unemployed?" The stricken director began to stammer an appology.
"Or that my sister's husband died in an accident," said the lawyer, his voice rising inindignation, "leaving her penniless with three kids?"
The humiliated director said simply,"I had no idea."
"So, if I don't give any money to them, why would I give money to you?"
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A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist is forced to enquire,"Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"
A local charity had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The director called to get a contribution.
"Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven't given a penny to charity," the director began. "Wouldn't you like to help the community?"
The lawyer replied, "Did your research show that my mother is ill, with medical bills several times her annual income?"
"Um, no," mumbled the director.
"Or that my brother is blind and unemployed?" The stricken director began to stammer an appology.
"Or that my sister's husband died in an accident," said the lawyer, his voice rising inindignation, "leaving her penniless with three kids?"
The humiliated director said simply,"I had no idea."
"So, if I don't give any money to them, why would I give money to you?"
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A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist is forced to enquire,"Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"
