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How do you know if hes/hers the one?





Mr. McCoy
Hi guys!

I have been thinking of something for a quite long time now... How can you know/feel if you have found the right guy or girl?

Is it a guy/girl who makes you feel warm inside everytime you think about him or her?

Does her or her makes your stomic tickle and fill if up with butterflys everytime he/her is talking/writing to/with you?

Or will you never find out until youve been together with that person for a while?

Best wishes Mrs McCoy Razz
Sappho
I think the best answer for this would be that if you'll feel it you will know for sure, once you are questioning it its just not it. Wink

This of course is a very idealistic approach that did fail in many cases. Smile Couse in real world you never know the other very important variable in this equation and thats the feeling of the oposite side. So in the best scenario its a bet with 50% chance at worst. Wink
blue77
You never can be certain that the person that you with is the one. The things are always changing and the relationships also. Many times I have the same ilusions about my boyfriends, and after a month or two they disapeared. Maybe is important to enjoy the happy moments that you have with one person and leave the outher to the destiny.
em0o
it takes alot. everyone is bound to go over a few speedbumps but if you two really love each other, it would work out in the end and you'll know if he/she is the one.
chrisu
I don't think that there are any certain way that everyone can know if he/she is the right one. As blue77 said, you can never be certain about it. At least not 100% certain. You only have to trust each other.

There are so many things that can break up a relationship. Even the reason too perfect can be a reason for break up.

One thing, that gives hints about if he/she is the right one, is time and speaking with the other part.
zenkirevolutions
there's just this... feeling... it's oxymoronic, it's too fantasy to believe, you just know , you feel like you've known them for much longer than you really have...

someone told me we have more than one soul mate, a lucky person meets there 1st one, a really lucky person meets there second one, and we dont live long enough to run into the others, unless... by chance, we are very lucky people...

blah what is luck?
chaly133
It' s really depend on you, if you think he or she is good enough just go ahead.
carolinehjkim
How can you know/feel if you have found the right guy or girl?
You might feel something very special about the person.. But the thing is people are not sure if that's the feeling they were looking for. I think it's really hard to know if the person is the right one for you without actually having some kind of small relationship with them.

Does her or her makes your stomic tickle and fill if up with butterflys everytime he/her is talking/writing to/with you?
It's natural to feel nervous in front of that person, but by and by it will lessen.
codeman
I've been with this girl off and on for 3 years now... but our longest run has this one... we've been together for almost 8 months now. Last month we had a huge rough patch (pretty much lasting the whole month) and we almost broke up for good (of course staying friends) but after working at it a bit we got back together. Before last month we've never had a serious problem and since we got back together in Dec. I've had the feeling that she IS the one... and up til our rough patch she had the same feeling... but now I'm not so sure she feels that way anymore... we still get along great and she still loves me and such... but I don't get the feeling that she thinks that I'm the one. All that said... who knows... only time can tell... but you really have to give it time... the begining of a relationship is definitely not enough... maybe for some people... but most people have to wait and see. Or at least thats my view of things Very Happy
HoboPelican
I gotta go with the "you never really know" bunch... I don't even want to tell you how many times I "knew" someone was the one! Laughing Laughing Laughing


The best realtionships I've been in always just felt "natural" from the start.
raver
First there is physical atraction that binds you for the first months. Then it's the discovery phase, the part where you really start to learn more and more about your partner, his/her's qualities/defects, and enjoy an entirely new degree of intimacy.
Then comes the lazy phase, where you formed a habit out of staying with someone. From this two things can happen, either you ignore her defects and fall in a "love" state, or you get bored and search for something else.
So in my opinion, love is just an illusion, an illusion in which we want so much to believe in, that we can't see what it really is. Ofcourse this isn't necesarilly something bad. As long as you enjoy it, there's nothing wrong with it. Wink
codeman
raver wrote:
First there is physical atraction that binds you for the first months. Then it's the discovery phase, the part where you really start to learn more and more about your partner, his/her's qualities/defects, and enjoy an entirely new degree of intimacy.
Then comes the lazy phase, where you formed a habit out of staying with someone. From this two things can happen, either you ignore her defects and fall in a "love" state, or you get bored and search for something else.
So in my opinion, love is just an illusion, an illusion in which we want so much to believe in, that we can't see what it really is. Ofcourse this isn't necesarilly something bad. As long as you enjoy it, there's nothing wrong with it. Wink


An illusion? That makes for a sad story... the first part is pretty acurate but I don't think love is an illusion... feelings are real... I really hope you don't go through life thinking that love is just an illusion... that will make for a very lonely life. Love is real and when you find it... you'll know and you'll be happy. Smile
raver
codeman wrote:

An illusion? That makes for a sad story... the first part is pretty acurate but I don't think love is an illusion... feelings are real... I really hope you don't go through life thinking that love is just an illusion... that will make for a very lonely life. Love is real and when you find it... you'll know and you'll be happy. Smile


Thanks for proving me right. Like i said, love is "something" that gives us power, that gives hope and happiness. Because it isn't tangible, you must believe in it, just like the belief in god. But we all search for something to make us live another day. I have loved and lost, i have mourned and laughed and known alot in my years.
So what if i consider love an illusion, but still believe in it anyway? Woudn't it be the same thing? Unfortunetly, this is how i think. Live with it Very Happy
_VMX_
There is no way to know that. Relationships are something that evolves with time, and before time passes there's no way to know certain things.

There's one thing I'd like to point out though:

I think it's important that you like the other person just they way she is when you meet her. That is, you don't want her to change anything about the way she is, and neither does she want you to. Often, you can start a relationship and cope with certain things that you dislike about your girl, but with time those things become huge, it becomes really obvious to her that you don't like them, and the relationship will eventually break up: either because you can't take it anymore, or because she doesn't feel like you accept her completely as she is, and thus she will break up.

There are people who change the way they are just to stay with the person they love. But in the end, this usually never works out, because that person is rejecting to be him/herself, and he/she won't be happy in the end. Sooner or later all this just comes out, and results in a big discussion and usually the end of the relationship.

Other than that, there's no such thing as "the one" for you. Time will tell if your relationship lasts forever or dies next week, but there's nothing pre-estabilshed in a person that can decide whether you'll always be together or not. It's the circumstances that arise throughout time, that will determine if the relationship makes it or not.

For example, there may be a couple that's going on very well together. Then something may happen to them that someway separates or confronts them emotionally, and that eventually leads to the end of the relationship.

Thus that same couple could've been together forever if that particular thing haddn't happened.

This means that you can't just meet someone and 'sit and wait' to see what happens next and to find out if she's "the one" for you. Because relationships evolve on a daily basis and they solely depend on what you both do.

It's you who can make someone be the one for you and the relationship last forever, or convert it in another failed attempt.

This is why experience is such an important thing in love, because the more you've been through, the better you'll know how to solve the inconveniences that threaten that relationship. This is also why it's very difficult that your first or second relationship is the definitive one.

Hope it helps, and sorry for the long post Wink
crimson_aria
I don't think anyone can tell you how. I think it's yourself who can tell when you feel that that person is the right one. You just..... feel it. Yes, the only thing constant in this world is change, so feelings and people might change. I think there's nothing much you can do but to listen to what you feel. Just be true to yourself and trust what your inner self says.
Rev` -
You just don't know, if she's hot then she's the one Laughing
kashusklay
I think knowing if you are with the right or wrong person definitely takes time. There is no definite way of telling because people also change so its like trying to solve a dynamic equation looking at it mathematically.

What i've learned is there must be attraction in the early part of the relationship before kids, and there has to be good communications. I find that if people leave sarcasm and humor out of every conversation and actually find a way to communicate, they can really understand if they are for each other or not. Someone told me that couples that even see each other regularly should email each other because its a good mode of communication where important things don't get lost as in convos.

In the end, I think its about compromise and agreement that both people want to be with each other and no matter what problems the relationship encounters, they will both try their best for each other to see their way through it.
bluecradle
Cherish every moment you have, even if it lasts only just a few weeks, months, years, or for eternity. Yes the above posts are right, relationships are commitments you have to renew each day. The longer you are together, the more commited you are and care for one another, and maybe, that's how true love is.
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