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If you speak english you must be a genius!





djcaution
Shocked
If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius!

Here are but a few of the reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
Cool A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
1Cool After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England and French fries weren't
invented in France.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital or ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

How can noses run and feet smell?

How come we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

Why is it that when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible?

Why doesn't comb rhyme with either tomb or bomb?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which the alarm goes off by going on, and where you fill out a form by filling it in.

English was invented by people and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which is not a race at all of course.
jasmine
I love Nora Robers and her Irish Jewels trilogy.

She makes you believe in fairy tales and you just can't help but fall in love with the magic and mystery of true love in the magical plane of fantasy in Ireland. Smile
foodman
wow thats actually really interesting
SGbilder
Maby it's a good thing that I don't speak english so good, I had to lock up a lot of words to see the second meaning of them Embarassed
DRXX
Thats really interesting

But I gotta admit

English is hard..Some words have different meanings

I learnt english 4 years ago and I speak it Perfect
-TomJ-
DRXX wrote:
... and I speak it Perfect

Shouldn't that be 'perfectly'? Just wondering ...
elincinerador
i'm no expert in english, but if you think english is a tough language, try latin languages... spanish is not a piece of cake, french is no joke... also, i don't speak german at all, but it is famous for being hard, a fame that english does not has.
yes, english has it's oddities, like the ones you mentioned, but for example the verb tenses are quite easy. you have just a few. in spanish you got quite a lot, which may be hard to learn.
anyway, learning any language is a difficult task for anyone. but you're not a genius if you're bilingual, for sure. you may be considered a genius maybe at your 5th language.
Nameless
English sucks. Quite frankly I think the whole world should all learn to speak, I don't know, binary. Less confusion then. Laughing
ocalhoun
djcaution wrote:

1Cool After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Number is not a word when used in that context: it should be something like 'more numb'.
Besides, I don't think using the word 'got' that way is proper either. Perhaps the language would make just a little more sense if it was used properly?
Nameless wrote:
English sucks. Quite frankly I think the whole world should all learn to speak, I don't know, binary. Less confusion then. Laughing

Binary is only a representation of letters; it's not a language of it's own.
How about instead, we all speak say, latin.
Ka7raK
DRXX wrote:
Thats really interesting

But I gotta admit

English is hard..Some words have different meanings

I learnt english 4 years ago and I speak it Perfect


Modesty be called for! Anyway, i also think English can be quite difficult to learn. In Portugal, almost every person i know says French is easier than English. Though this is a obvious lie, anyone that doesn't know the language can be forced to become random and go berserk. The intersting thing about English is the number of verbs. Not much! Portuguese has tons of verbes and a lot of Pasts, a lot of Futures and a lot of Presents and conditionals and stuff. What's the point? English rules! Everybody shoud speak English just like everybody in Star Wars understands Basic.
secret_soul
Technically the English language, as spoken by those living in England, doesn't refer to "eggplant" - we would say "aubergine", me thinks.

Sorry about that. Embarassed I'm such a geek.

Apparantly English is the most complicated language to learn because of all its little idiosycracies...
crimson_aria
English is hard but I think it's easier compared to other languages with certain accents and so on.
buddycat
How about: I can't stand to stand on the stand in this heat?

But such things are not the difficult part. English is enormously rich in words. It seems that there is a word for every shade of a meaning. On the other hand, there are so many languages in the world which are difficult for other reasons. Who knows which one of them is the most difficult? Sebian has 7 noun cases (Latin only 6), perfective and imperfective verbs (not tenses, mind you). Dutch is a cute language. Almost grammarless, but then very expressive. Sentences in everyday Dutch look like proverbs. French is opposite - rigid and rich grammar. They say that Finnish is a bear to learn, I don't know why. And so on.

I like English because to know it well is (like) being learned. Learning English really well is a life project of scholarly pursuit.
magneto_ms
Heh heh really funny..

i had a teacher who once demonstrated how silly the language is

she asked us to pronounce 'GH0ETI'

the answer was 'Fish'

gh= asf as in enough
e= as i in oesophagus
ti=as is in invention

funny now you think about it..
poiko123
Finnish has 15 cases and over 1 000 000 different words. For example there are about 45 words for snow/sleet, but since they are close to the arctic circle there is a great need for this. English has 0 cases, which makes it a bit easier, but so many exceptions makes it tough, but otherwise it is learned relatively easily. Esperanto is a developed by a Polish ophthalmologist in the 1870's and 1880's, could be an alternative root. It is a constructed language instead of an evolved one so it basis is simplicity and efficiency. I believe eventually, the modern nations of the world will adopt Esperanto (or something of the sort) as an official language.
snowboardude
lol yeah its true, english is an odd language, but there are weird inconsistencies in any language
hahame
my english is so poor,so i just make a main idea when i read the post here
HoboPelican
ocalhoun wrote:
djcaution wrote:

1Cool After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Number is not a word when used in that context: it should be something like 'more numb'...



Actually, I think number is fine....it just looks odd. Here is the Freedictionary.com take.
Quote:

numb Pronunciation (nm)
adj. numb·er, numb·est
1. Deprived of the power to feel or move normally; benumbed: toes numb with cold; too numb with fear to cry out.
2. Emotionally unresponsive; indifferent: numb to yet another appeal.
tr. & intr.v. numbed, numb·ing, numbs
To make or become numb.
S3nd K3ys
They're taking their food there. Wink
wiggy
I speak perfect english I can say anything I want,

Guess why?



I'M ENGLISH!
wiggy
Nameless wrote:
English sucks. Quite frankly I think the whole world should all learn to speak, I don't know, binary. Less confusion then. Laughing


Anyone here watch Mythbusters it is so cool!
benwhite
I seriously doubt esperanto will ever become a mainstream language. Last time I checked there were only some 10k speakers worldwide.

Perhaps more importantly, it sounds silly. It's constructed, so it's rules are consistent but they're also unintuitive. It's likes a silly combination of english and a romance language. It's not really worth it.

English as a -second- language is difficult, especially so depending on one's own native tongue. Similarly, arabic and chinese are considered as challenging to native english speakers (spanish and french, while tough for high school kids, aren't actually all that hard comparatively). As children worldwide learn english at young ages and have parents that speak it fluently, the "difficultly" will decrease as people become more familiar with it.
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