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what to do when she wants you back...





NuniPio
what would you do if your gurl breaks up with you, saying she doesnt love you, but she still wants to be friends, a few days later you talk more and are still very close, still do things that you would do in a normal relationship, then one day she does something that you had warned her would break her trust forever, that was to sleep around with somebody else. but it wouldnt be as bad because you're not together, yet a few more days later she says she still loves you, what would you do??
haak_heu
NuniPio wrote:
what would you do if your gurl breaks up with you, saying she doesnt love you, but she still wants to be friends, a few days later you talk more and are still very close, still do things that you would do in a normal relationship, then one day she does something that you had warned her would break her trust forever, that was to sleep around with somebody else. but it wouldnt be as bad because you're not together, yet a few more days later she says she still loves you, what would you do??


well if you are not comfartable with here and dont want any relitionship even friendship just say here ...and if you love her alot and can not love without here than let her do what she want just show her how much and to how much extend you love her let her decide what she want.
lors
It sounds like she just broke up so she could go out with another, kick her to the curb for good. She will just keep doing this as long as you allow it.
bluefossil
lors wrote:
It sounds like she just broke up so she could go out with another, kick her to the curb for good. She will just keep doing this as long as you allow it.

I agree with Lors. She is using you.
blue77
It's realy a hard case. I brake up with my boyfriend and after a weak he said that he wants me back. I liked them as a friend and it was realy hard for me to heart his fealings. I set mine conditions, and he accept them. But the situation is still crazy. Evribody is holding on his possition.
Unicycle Street UK
if you think shes worth it, go for it , if shes decent enough shell deserve a second chance!!
Citizen Kane
Complicated. I would move on without her. Even if you still love her and or she still loves you. Why? Because of a couple of reasons:

I wouldn't be sure I couldn't trust her anymore. If my girlfriend had been in bed after a couple of days with another and then would ask me back, there would seriously be trust problems. And jelousy. this would not be something I would want to live with.

Pain, saying goodbye and moving on are all part of life. If my girlfriend would be braking up with me, would sleep with another and than would ask me back, the pain of taking my girlfriend back would last much longer and would be much more wrecking than talking things over and telling her that I still loved her but there would not be a base for any relationship anymore.

If my girlfriend would do the things to me your girl did to you, than she would't be decent. At least not in my eyes. I would feel used even worse, the guy she slept with probably also used her and I would not want to be with someone who would be easilly used by other people. The chance of this situation repeating itself would just be to great.

I would move on. there would be other people worthy of my love.
Tvis
I can asure you that when you don;t take the distance with her...she will do the same forever...get back to you, make you feel special again...go with someone else, leave you in pain, get back again...I would not want to continu like that...but that is up to you.

I prefer to take the pain a while and in a while you move on again. Let her do her thing without you...
Sadow
NuniPio wrote:
what would you do if your gurl breaks up with you, saying she doesnt love you, but she still wants to be friends, a few days later you talk more and are still very close, still do things that you would do in a normal relationship, then one day she does something that you had warned her would break her trust forever, that was to sleep around with somebody else. but it wouldnt be as bad because you're not together, yet a few more days later she says she still loves you, what would you do??


I would not go back to her, but if I would still love her I would say it to her. I think I would leave the relationship rest for a while, and check out her behaviour. If her behaviour would be as I would hope it would be (huh? Very Happy ) then I might consider taking her back. I would wait atleast 2 or 3 months.
OutlawSpirit
i wouldnt get back with her... she is un-trustful and also, indecisive... not good!
ezekiel_rage
NuniPio wrote:
what would you do if your gurl breaks up with you, saying she doesnt love you, but she still wants to be friends, a few days later you talk more and are still very close, still do things that you would do in a normal relationship, then one day she does something that you had warned her would break her trust forever, that was to sleep around with somebody else. but it wouldnt be as bad because you're not together, yet a few more days later she says she still loves you, what would you do??


Yeah, it does seem that the she just made herself a good excuse to sleep around with somebody else.

I guess she's trying to test the waters first.

If ever her thing with the other guy doesn't click, may be sh e figured that she can always comeback to you.

That really sucks.

I bet that she's lying or at least not sincere when she told you that she still loves you.

Because is she really does still love you, she would not sleep with somebody else while she's trying to make up her mind.

Besides even if she does love you, she have no respect for you. if she respects you she would not do what she did.

In any relationship 3 things are very vital, Love, Trust, Respect. If one is missing then that relationship is bound to fail.

If you accept her back she will just treat you like a rag.

Let her go and move on with your life.

Always remember that you deserve better than this.

Good luck.
connhim2000

NuniPio wrote:
what would you do if your gurl breaks up with you, saying she doesnt love you, but she still wants to be friends, a few days later you talk more and are still very close, still do things that you would do in a normal relationship, then one day she does something that you had warned her would break her trust forever, that was to sleep around with somebody else. but it wouldnt be as bad because you're not together, yet a few more days later she says she still loves you, what would you do??



This situation seem to be a popular problem with any couple. Lookforward to the future,
Things that she does, loves that she exposes, etc. will be a good answer!
NuniPio
im not with her anymore, i told her i dont wanna talk to her anymore, not even as friends.. she still says she loves me tho...
Sadow
Just try to forget her for a while. Time will heal wounds and time will change a lot of things.
NuniPio
yea but the thing is sometimes i want us to be back together again.. i dont know wat to do Confused
Sadow
In the end it's up to you really. I'm just afraid she'll betray you again if she learns you will take it pretty lightly, and yes of course you still love her but she has shown you that her love for you isn't that much worth by sleeping with someone else.
To think this over you should try and place yourself in her position at the time she broke up and betrayed you afterwards. Try to imagine what you would feel. Would that be love?
But maybe I'm wrong and was she doing this to find out if she really loves you (which would be rather stupid in my opinion).
You should ask her what the reason was that she slept with the other guy. Then you might find out. You should also try to find out if she was seeing this other guy before you two broke up. That would also help.
Then again, this will always be difficult situations and you must decide for yourself what will be the wisest thing to do. These are tough decissions to make. Neutral
NuniPio
thanks guys, but ive decided shes not werth it, i was used and ive gotta get over this, and thinking that things would go back the way they were isnt an option anymore. thanks for all your help, i really appreciate it
windrei
i think she is justt playing you in her hands. Forget her, you will feel better~ don't bother yourself too much about this matter. As you said, she did something that breaks your trust to her.
Citizen Kane
@ nunipio: It's good to see you've made a wise decision. Choosing for yourself in complicated situations is always a good choice, whether if this is a difficult choice or not.

In the end you'll see tha the choice is for the better and that the girl who doesn't cheat you will be all the more satisying and rewarding.

Hope you have a good time, being on your own again, being single again can also sometimes be a relief. Free from troubles and worries. and I hope you meet the love or your life, you deserve is for being honest to yourself.

Take care!
douzy
I'll smile at her and tell that it is over and we can't go back to where we were before.
Denime
Take your time to think about it. Do not haste or rush any decisions.
It is a fact she is "allowed" to have sex with other persons when you are in not a relationship. The other side is that she should not have hurt your feelings when she loves you, especially not in this kinda way.

Make her realise what she has destroyed. Take time for yourself and meet new people. Time flies when you are havin' fun!
Lennon
you've already done the right thing by asking and not sticking with one mind.
tar-xzv
Dont take her back because you dont need somebody playing with your feelings. If you do, she will keep playing with your mind, knowing that you care about her.... she will try to get other things.

There are many other better girls out there. To me if you break up with somebody you break up and you dont change your mind a week later.
freakinlame
Do you still love her or you enjoy doing things with her? Are you moving on with your life already? Don't jeopardise your future relationship just because she wants you back. Perhaps she's just trying to manipulate you and taking control over your feelings. Maybe there is someone who would appreciate you more out there that you haven't know of. Don't do the wrong thing twice. If you know it isn't right, don't accept her back. Or else history would just repeat itself.
benjmd
You need to listen to her and believe the sincerity of her words:

1) She called an end to your romantic relationship.

2) She asked to stay friends.

3) She entered another romantic relationship.

Friends do a lot of things that relationship partners do, and good friends do love each other. If she is telling you that she has romantic love or she is getting physical with you (not just hugs, but kissing), then she is not being fair to you. If she is simply maintaining an emotional relationship and is not making physical advances or saying specifically that she wants to be more than friends, then you all are not. If you hold it against her that she has entered a new relationship, then you are telling her that you are not willing to accept just her friendship (and very well may lose that as a result). If you're really unclear, I suggest asking her directly for clarification. If you all are just friends as I have described above you need to let her go (from a romantic point-of-view) and focus on how you can be a good friend.
benjmd
By the way, I say these things because I have been there and made the mistakes. You want so much to believe there's still opportunity that you take anything that reinforces your ideas to heart much too deeply. In contrast, those things inconsistent with what you're hoping for tend to hurt that much more. If you love her enough, you will accept what she wants for her happiness and you will do just what she wants for you - go out and find a girl that *can* love you truly and whom you can love truly back.
Tycoone
If she's those flirtatious ones, kick her butt real hard. Throw her off into the sea, literally Smile .

If she's those decent ones, provided that you still like her very much, you can do either of the things.

1. Talk to her that you still love her, but life goes on.

2. Hug her real hard and continue the relationship, but it had been said that the relationship would not be as sweet as before.

My two cents.
jrs32
Those are always tough ones. The only thing you can really do is what your want to do, and what your heart tells you to do. If you decide that you want to give her another chance ((depending on the circumstances)) then that is your choice. If you really love her and want to be with her, and think that she feels the same, I'd say its worth another shot. Don't give her more than one extra chance though. Never let people use you or walk all over you.
NuniPio
another update on this topic, i have moved on and currently single but always on the lookout for a nice friendly gurl Wink
honestman
I havent read all the posts. In this situaion its clear that the real connection had broken down. If seems to me tat she didnt want to be with u sexually but still wanted your company and to enjoy the good things you ha easing her over the break up pain. She was only lookig out for someone else in the meantime and she finally found them.

She may ave realised her mistake afterwards but that is her probem. I would ditch here there and then and move on, getting on with your own life.

Jim
tingkagol
NuniPio wrote:
what would you do if your gurl breaks up with you, saying she doesnt love you, but she still wants to be friends, a few days later you talk more and are still very close, still do things that you would do in a normal relationship, then one day she does something that you had warned her would break her trust forever, that was to sleep around with somebody else. but it wouldnt be as bad because you're not together, yet a few more days later she says she still loves you, what would you do??

if she does something like that, i'd force myself not to get back in a relationship with her. but when you're overwhelmed by the emotion, you can't do anything but get sucked right back in.
atif
Dump her!
macky
it's a No No... i will just try to be friends with her/him...
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