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how can i tell she is cheating...





cheeko
im 27 tr old i started dating this giirl about 1 yr 7 months ago. she is 21 , ive always had my suspicions but now there really bad. today for an example we were smoking a joint in our computer room and i turn the lights out and flicked on the black light , just to add some effect. i noticed she had these huge white stains on her pants when the black light was on, so being kinda sneaky i got her into her panties and bra i noticed also down by her vaginal area there was a huge white stain looked like a load and drooled down her leg a lil with spatters everywhere. then i ask her to turn around, cause we had had sex before the night before i didnt see any of my cum marks on her or where she cum she squirts so it would show also. we showered in the moring and i would assume all those stain would be washed away. so when we were all stoned i went and got a tissue put a lil water on it and starting to wipe these stains away under black light and they did go away. so i know whne we showered our stains from the night befor ewould have been gone.. this morning i found out and she left for work at usuall time and came home around 10 30 pm, cause her friend from outwest is home till monday, so she went to a bbq. i talk to her a cpl time on the phone between 7 pm until she got home, sounded she was with her friend and everything, so im wondering if ....

#1 does anyone think she is cheating on me and what they think???
#2 what should i do?
#im on depression pills and sleeping pills started bout 2 weeks ago. i smoke weed, so does she.

if it matter isay ibeen with 9 or 10 ppl and she has around 18- 19 that i know of....
need help please lost and confused....
dan751
Let me just say, I in no way intend to offend:

Well, I may not have as much experience with the more, ahem, intimate situations of a man and woman, but I know a lot about the female psyche.
First and formost, let me say, you could've been a little more discreet about your information. However, perhaps, if you know she has "been" with that many people, it's very possible she's cheating. However, you stated that you've "been" with other people? If that's the case, does she know about this?
What I recommend, is carefully observe her for the next few days, for any indications for signs of cheating. If you can't come to any conclusions, you may have to ask her outright.

I've given you suggestions on what you should do, however, you don't have to follow them, as they are suggestions, and only suggestions.
Mates cheating on each other is never good.
All in all, I really hope everything works out for you.
cheeko
i have told her everything from my past never lied about it or nothing always was straight forward, its easier to remember the truth then the same lie over and over. she has been acting weird for awhile, doesnt call me in the day or anything to say hi or check in. just from what the blacklight saw kinda blow me away weve used the blacklight before and nothing like that has ever shown up. sorry bout being so blunt about her and me just helps kinda, i guess... what would you do??? anyone????
i know she has been with this many ppl when we first started dating she told me 13, then as time went by i caught her in lies and the number went to 18 then 19 so i dont really the exact number really. but she swears up and down she not doing nothing, not masterbating no sex, nothing. i figure its someone she works with or someone she meets up with at lunch there are a whole bunch of other things to , that lead me to think this also just from other things she has done so im lost and confused still
S3nd K3ys
Did you ask her?
cheeko
yes i have asked her and she usually get s all mad and goes to a different room and when i want to just simply talk no yelling or nothing she screams at me to go away
heavensent6
Sorry to say but from the last comment it seems to be that she may be cheating. What you need to do is put yourself in her situation. If she asked you that question, would you get pissed and walk away or would you laugh it off. It really doesn't matter how many people she slept with before she got with you (If it did you would have never had got with her right:)). Anyway, the sure sign that someone might be cheating is if their routine has changed. For example, if she used to call you all the time and then suddenly the calls came less. If she used to do certain things for you and now don't really care. Certain things like this may be signs. Normally if you thinks someone is cheating then they normally are but then again this is still not 100% solid proof.

The fact of the matter is this. what would you do if you found out that she was? If the answer is nothing then leave it alone. If you would leave then maybe that's what you need to do. If you want to work on your relationship and keep it no matter what, then that is what you need to do also.

Another question is are you doing all that you can to make the relationship all that it can be? If the answer to this question is yes that all is said and done. Don't stick around with someone who doesn't appreciate you and want only you. You deserve better than that.

Remember once you start to settle for anything that's what you normally get stuck with.

Take a stand or else you'll fall for anything.
cheeko
does anyone think the black light even matters? or would something like that normally happen in the run of the day, using bathroom ...etc..?
heavensent6
I am not too familiar with the blacklight but on her defense, since you did have sex the night before it may still be running out of her. Some women from day to day may excrete some type of vaginal fluids. Some more than others.
angry_hindu
yes up to 34 hours in some cases, so it might be from that. its not common but definitely possible. i could explain it medically but i dont think that would help lol
cheeko
explain...sure i might understand it ... i just dont know what to think or act round her now
Tvis
The best way to find out is always asking straight ahead. Explaining why you think she is cheating, come up with facts of her new behaviour. However, this could be painful as well. Think up front what could happen if she admits. What will YOU do. You will move out, you will ask her to move out?

Some people don't want to know the truth and will try to be a better person towards the person that might be cheating.

If you first want to get more "evidence" I suggest what other people said. Try to focus on her behaviour. Try to act as normal as usual. Do the things you always do. But watch het carefully, ask her how was her day. I used to cheat on my girlfriend, I had to be careful with my celular in that period. Because the other girl could call or leave a message. Does she have a celular? Is she turning it off at home while earlier she always left it on? Does she receive more sms messages, or does she answer the phone walking away from you. Silently sending SMS messages? Silently checking mail...behaviour that is different than before that could point out she is cheating. Afterwards confront her with that behaviour...if she has nothing to hide, she should act like it...
bluefossil
if you think she is cheating, then she is cheating.
asim
its not necessary that she is cheating, according to you, had sex last night, when you discovered those marks, so were wearing condom or with out, if yes yes then she may be, but if you were not then, you cummed inside her or outside, if only side then she is cheating, if inside.. the marks you find were your sperm, because this happened with me.... and my girlfren also told me that whenever i dont use a condom, the next day a white fluid drips from fer vagina.... but i would suggest you ask her.. and ask this while having sex.... okay....
nivre
if ur partner can't even look into your eyes straigthly nd when he/she is doing something unusual...
having doubts, and hiding something to you means she's really cheating on you...
you should first listen to her and understand...know the reason before making a decision...


trust is so hard to earn...
Chris24
Go with your gut feeling. See if you can check the calls on the cell phone or house phone bill. Does she randomly disappear and not call? or disappear for a while and not answer her cell? is her makeup still all done up when she gets home, or does it look like she just put on lipstick(don't know if she wears it or not just another sign)

just some things you could notice.
RubySlasher
Stop smoking pot you pothead.




.
mawfia
Man i thought my posts were graphic i think you got me beat there buddy. Also the indications you state are alot more obvious than mine. Its also hard to say because you are on some medications that may possible alter your way of viewing things. If what you say you saw is true, that would be more than enough evidence for me. I have a question though was she not able to see the white marks as well. Did she ever give a reason as to why the stains were there? She what her explanation is. If she doesnt have one, make your own and find someone else.
Chris24
RubySlasher wrote:
Stop smoking pot you pothead.


Wink what?
bluefossil
if you have suspicious of her cheating, then she is most definitely cheating. end of story
urbanbuddha
cheeko wrote:
yes i have asked her and she usually get s all mad and goes to a different room and when i want to just simply talk no yelling or nothing she screams at me to go away


Maybe that shouldn't be taken as a sign of her cheating on you. I would be pretty pissed off if my significant other asked me if I was cheating. Asking is a bad thing because if you're wrong, it just shows that you do not trust her.
evilryu530
man thats crazy. if you have to do all that for a relatinoship, then it's not going to work. i say just bounce my friend. and be over it. thats too crazy........plenty of other girls out there. if you get the suspicion of her cheating on you, chances are she is.
lee8507
From my knowledge semen shows up as a greenish yellow color under a black light
Josso
LOL you bumped a 4 year old thread to say that?

Come on
loveandormoney
cheeko wrote:
im 27 tr old i started dating this giirl about 1 yr 7 months ago. she is 21 , ive always had my suspicions but now there really bad. today for an example we were smoking a joint in our computer room and i turn the lights out and flicked on the black light , just to add some effect. i noticed she had these huge white stains on her pants when the black light was on, so being kinda sneaky i got her into her panties and bra i noticed also down by her vaginal area there was a huge white stain looked like a load and drooled down her leg a lil with spatters everywhere. then i ask her to turn around, cause we had had sex before the night before i didnt see any of my cum marks on her or where she cum she squirts so it would show also. we showered in the moring and i would assume all those stain would be washed away. so when we were all stoned i went and got a tissue put a lil water on it and starting to wipe these stains away under black light and they did go away. so i know whne we showered our stains from the night befor ewould have been gone.. this morning i found out and she left for work at usuall time and came home around 10 30 pm, cause her friend from outwest is home till monday, so she went to a bbq. i talk to her a cpl time on the phone between 7 pm until she got home, sounded she was with her friend and everything, so im wondering if ....

#1 does anyone think she is cheating on me and what they think???
#2 what should i do?
#im on depression pills and sleeping pills started bout 2 weeks ago. i smoke weed, so does she.

if it matter isay ibeen with 9 or 10 ppl and she has around 18- 19 that i know of....
need help please lost and confused....




This thread
is 6 years old.

So I dont think, the user has the same problem today?
Isnt it?

But the topic is very interesting,
cheating in relationships,
so I am answering.

Here the problem is
the guy is playing the policeman
and so his partner has to cheat.

The question is
if somebody is interested
how to live a true relationship?
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