Is there such thing as a soul mate?

dracula

Is there such thing as a soul mate?
I have never had a girlfriend, nor am I in any hurry to get one. But what I am wondering, is there such thing as a soul mate? I have seen soo many people get in love, then break up. Or get married, then after a few years divorce. So if people keep doing that, how can they find their 'soul mate'? Or will they ever find a 'soulmate'?
What do you think? I am not making sence but if you can refrase this then you are welcom to.

eznet

Hello.... I am far from an expert... simply a rational being with a desire for science. I am in a happy, loving marrage (over 5 years now). Although 5 years is far from a lifetime I think it has given practical experience. We are both happy and have pretty much always been since meeting... I think that this in part comes from knowing, for a fact, that outside of nature, natural chemical reaction, natural instinct, biological factors, etc. there is no such thing as love. Love is a chemical process..... it is highly active (and fun) at the beginning and naturally declines after some times... knowing this allows couples to accept natural feelings of decreased "Awe" and "obsession" found early in relationships and replace them with longer lasting, emotionally and mentally deeper feelings and emotions.... lust is often identified as love as it last for over 2 years often times, hence why so many marrages end in divorce within 3 years.. just some advice for the future.... dont expect love to fix all, know that that warm and fuzzy feeling has more to do with initial attraction then deep rooted connection... Find someone who is a friend and that you can easily relate to as that will last forever, even after the warm fuzzies are dead Smile

trollbunden

well I think so but it's hard to find your soul mate. It's not sure you meet your soul mate in this life

JoeFriday

eznet offers some good insight

my opinion (beyond what eznet already said) is that too many people have bought into the hollywood 'soulmate' hype.. take a look at internet personal ads and you'll see about a third of all women mention looking for a soulmate

generally a soulmate is perceived as someone with whom you have an instant and total symbiance.. that is, everything between the two people is 'natural' and 'easily flowing'.. meaning there is no work necessary and everything just falls into place.. the people who believe that is how a relationship should be are looking for the impossible

sure, they can remember meeting someone and it being 'perfect' for 4 months.. and then something happened and that feeling went away, so they left the relationship to find their 'true' soulmate rather than work on a relationship

have you ever heard the phrase "you appreciate the things you have to work for more than those you are given"? that's how life is.. when something is handed to you, it usually doesn't have the same value as the things that you earned.. relationships are the same way

don't spend your life looking for a perfect partner.. there are no perfect people, and therefore no perfect relationships.. find someone you respect and care about and forget the soulmate nonsense.. you'll be much happier if you live in the real world instead of trying to emulate movies

snjripp

It seems to me that there is not necessarily one person out there who is the one person for you. It seems that it is more like a continuum of people/relationship that are closer or more distant to an idea of perfection. I think that there are probably many people with whom you could have a great enduring relationship--and that given a great fit (close on the continuum to your perfect) that a relationship can exist and last as though the two were soul mates. However, I think there is actually no perfection in human relationships so searching for what one may ultimately classify as soul mate could be quite fruitless.

juliox

Perhaps there is a soulmate if that you define as the ideal person in which you share your life, that would be your soulmate, i would say, and there might be as many soulmates as you wanted to be, is just a matter of adaptation Laughing

bluefossil

there is no such thing as a "soul mate". it's about two people make a relationship "work". You are going to be a world of hurt if you think, "<name here> is my soul mate. There is no way things can get f-ed up cuz SHE IS my SOULMATE".

danito

I agree with juliox, depending on the intensity of the particular personal relationship I think most people would say they have, throughout their lives, had more than one person they would consider a "soulmate". And of course as people change throughout their lives so indeed do the needs that a soulmate fufils. But I guess if they were a true soulmate, then they(and you of course) would adapt to those needs.

Aiz

I believe there is such a thing.

I don't believe it in the fairy tale way anymore, but I'd like to think there is someone out there who would accept you the way you are and making a happy life with you. I guess all the divorces and breakups were results of failed attempts, or rather in some cases, a lack of attempt at making it work.

Sometimes, like with religion and other personal beliefs, I think it's better just to believe what you will and not brood on it since the best answers to this type of questions is really your own personal experiences.

Tac-Tics

The word "soulmate" was invented by proprietors of online dating services. There's no special quality about someone which makes him or her a soulmate or not. It's just a fuzzier sounding word for the person you sleep with.

jenus

I do agree with Juliox and bluefossil, is just a matter of adaptation, bc is there were a soulmate there would not were cheatting lol, well that wjat i think is just an adaptation to the person that you love and that you want it to work it out...

HoboPelican

angry_hindu

windrei

me too, i also never have a girlfriend. But i believe there is someone called "soulmate". She was my college classmate, we have been known each other for more than 10 years. We talk about anything, and when i have problems, from tiny things to personal serious matter, i ask for her opinions. i think it's okay. We both know that we are only friends, and good freinds. If we really get involved to each other, it had been happened during the days in college. But we did not. Now she has a good boyfriend. i am happy about it too.

heavensent6

I believe there is a soulmate for everyone out there and that God created someone for everyone out there. A soulmate to me is someone whom you waited for almost your entire life and finally find them. Of course there are ups and downs but part of being a soulmate is that you have the love and respect for each other to surcomb anything.

Etcetera

Believing in the concept of a soulmate would also imply that you believe in the concept of fate, that there's someone that's meant for you. Sure, there can be someone that you naturally like very much because of your values but if you're compatible enough with someone and a beautiful relationship blossoms, it'll feel like they're meant to be. Like they're so perfect for you that it had to be. In reality, if something happened to mess up this relationship and you had found a new one and it blossomed too, you'd also call them a soulmate. The feeling is based on success in a relationship, lots of people can be your soulmate. But there are too many factors in the world to have someone meant for you.

angelussum

Soulmates is such a unclear term. I mean, in some senses, you can take it to mean someone you have an instant and easy connection with, where your relationship works without much effort. Some might say a soulmate is more like someone you have a deep and natural connection with. I think it would be worthwhile to take a look at what you mean by soulmate.

Generally though, love is something that takes work - from both parties. Some relationships might be easier than others, but at the end of the day, nothing is instant, easy or perfect.

aurigadelphinus

Tainted by the status of single, I'm stating that soulmate's are possible. Soulmate indicates, to me, a certain like-minded pairing. Mabye, a shared sense of duty or level of personal integrity. That said, I do think that soulmate is an achieved status as appossed to a non-cultivated factor. I think a couple can get there quick if all the moons of jupiter are aligned. Some, most, probably take a little longer. I think soulmates is too cool of a thought to write off.

rajat

i dunno if something like soulmate ever exists Wink

mrgutterminds

This is interesting… other people I know are saying the same thing – that your “soulmate” isn’t necessarily your significant other. The truth is, I feel like I have many soulmates then.

But, I think many people think of a soulmate as the person that is/was chosen for and/or by you to be your significant other in a romantic sense. And if you blow it, you’ll have a sense of blowing it the rest of your life. Not saying I agree with this, but stick with me for a moment…

In this sense, soulmate and destiny are tied together. I, for one, have never really believed in fate. Do I believe we are on a path? Perhaps. Do I believe everything has already happened and we’re just living it out in real-time? Probably not.

On the other hand, I do have a strong feeling about one of my ex’s. Not saying I should or would get back with her, but I sometimes feel we “blew” it. She’s married now with a baby, so it’s kind of a done deal now….

So, I really have a couple of questions then: Do we have one soul that is chosen and meant to be our lifelong love partner? And do we have many soulmates that come in many forms – family, friends, lovers, etc?

Does destiny or chosen path (if it exists) play into any or all of this?

sketteksalfa

I dont believe in soulmate. They said if you agree on many things then youre a soulmate, well for me the more similar things you have together, then the shorter your relationship could be; since both of you are used to what you are doing. I believe in negative attracts positive relationship wherein there are less similarities to both and both learns from each other in many ways.

Srs2388

Yes I do believe in soulmate.... the main reason I believe in this is because I am with my girlfriend, whom i believe is my soulmate she is wonderful =)

HoboPelican

rfarrand

As far as a single, one soulmate out there is concerned, i don't really believe in that...i do believe that God knows who we will end up choosing to be with...but as for you are only compatible and able to choose one person in your lifetime is far from what i believe.

There are so many people out there, and i think you can be compatible with many different people, but we have to make a choice as human beings whether or not we want to spend the rest of our lives with this or that person...

Two people have to make that choice with each other...just because you make a choice to be with that person, does not mean that the other person feels the same way, in which case you break up and move on to the next compatible person to decide whether or not this is the person that you both together want to take that step of faith...

I am personally against divorce adn will never divorce my wife no matter what she does...i believe that it was my choice to marry her and that is what i need to live with...i will never put my kids thruogh a divorce situation...that is just not fair to them at all....they need their father and mother... this is just where i stand on this issue.

you are compatible with many people, its who we choose to spend the rest of our lives with, that is the key to finding or not finding happiness in a marriage or dating relationship.

freecitizen

Of course, everyone has a soulmate. =]

MDCNK

I also believe everybody has a 'soulmate', I tihnk I've already found mine but time will tell.

Some people might take the term soulmate too seriously, some people just search for them and that's not something you should do.
I agree with some of yuou guys, Hobo and heavensent for instance, you've made good points and I just think that the most important part of knowing that you've found your soulmate is that you BOTH know and aware of the mistakes you have made and are able to work any problem out TOGETHER< you both need to have an understanding and you have to be able to talk and work things out, if you leave problems unsolved they will get back sooner or later and just hunt you.

If you think about the way that there are possibly more soulmates I don't think that's true, I don't believe that a soulmate is just the same as a friend because that's what I read in one of the posts (not literally but it comes down to that), I do not believe that because those are just friends.

A soulmate, i think, is a person who truly satisfies your every need and support you all the way, that person who will walk through fire for you, who will do anything for you because that's how much they love you. No matter what mistake of terrible thing you could've done they will stick with you if you truly are sorry and ask for forgiveness, you should truly know this person and it also should be your best friend, not just your legal partner...you know?

andy26 · Last edited by andy26 on Mon Dec 25, 2006 4:26 am; edited 1 time in total

*preffer not to show this post anymore due to finding out this stuff is on google*

crimson_aria

I believe that there's such thing as soul mate. But I believe that his/her soul mate is not always the one destined to be with him/her. I think soul mates are someone who completely connects with you in almost everything. But it's not necessarily that person who you will fall in love with or stay with forever.

sonicj

This is a tough one to answer. I have come to the conclusion that a person can choose to love anyone. The majority of the time people choose wrong. This is why there are so many divorces. I think a soulmate is simply someone that fits with you like a puzzle piece. We should all be more careful about who we choose as a partner. If you choose unwisely and end up in a bad relationship with children, then you have compounded the problem not only for yourself but for generations to come.

atiwary

Yes!!

I think that over many lifetimes we have met many people who we have had close relationships with. Those people who we have been the closest with are soulmate or soulfriends. Depending on our karmic pattern, we meet these soulmates to help each other's development.

mrgzilnik

I'm certain that there is, but it is incredibly rare. I think that any relationship worth having will require work to keep it fresh. Also bear in mind that everyone changes as they go through life, so for a relationship to last many years, the two people need to have many of the same goals in life, so that their changes occur in like directions, rather than diverging over the years.

douzy

There's no 'soulmate', but potential 'soulmates'. That's the way I see it. That is why it is advisable to meet as much people as possible before you decide whom to spend the rest of your life with.

TrueFact

I don't think so douzy, You can't just choose whom your heart will love. Along your way in life you meet 100s and some of us meet 1000s of people but you love only one and you don't choose to love him or not. You may try to hold back your feelings and emotions and put behind your back but you still love him/her. a soul mate is usually of the opposite sex and sometimes it's just friendship not love but it does exist. And that's why we usually say it about our beloved.

joemakgobane

again this is one of those psychological comforts. if u believe u can fly, then u can fly. it`s all about convincing your mind.

joemakgobane

again this is one of those psychological comforts. if u believe u can fly, then u can fly. it`s all about convincing your mind.

dancingfire

cvkien

so, you mean your girlfriend or wife is your soulmate? well, i don't think so. if you love someone, do you mean your soul is choosing your girlfriend's soul so that you will choose her? how do you know you have soul? as i know, human has mind and body. but if you are saying that human has soul, where is the soul? why can't i see the soul? if you say that soul will control your body, that mean you don't have a mind. because mind is a sense of thinking as the function of the brain. and human will come out some concept of soul, god, ghost... because they cannot explain the situation and human won't giveup in order to use all that concept to tell others that they are genious or 'master'..??

bongoman

Ok well to answer the first part of this question I think it depends how one defines a soulmate, if it has to do with some metaphysical connection with another person I personally believe that is possible (and there's been some recent research to suggest that there may be some levels of mental links between some people, although that can be debated). If you define a soulmate as someone who posseses a set of desireable physical and mental characteristics that is compatible with your own then yes thats very possible.

The second part of my answer which partly has both of the above mentioned definitions....

Ok now this may be slightly fuzzy math here but... looking at it from a statistical point of view there are roughly 6.5 billion people on this planet we call earth. Now break that down further by gender and you have roughly 3.25 billion people right? Well that means there's a 1 in 3.25 billion chance then that you'll find a soulmate out there. If you look at it that way then you'd think it was nearly impossible to find a soulmate out there, but I believe thats the beauty of such a probability. Because despite the fact that your chances are 1 in 3.25 billion people still find enough commonalities to get together in the first place, have whatever relationships they have whether legally binding or not. The fact that people also get divorced or break up further prooves this point. But certainly enough variations in personalities out there exist so if its not directly possible to find a soulmate then you'll darn well get close to it. So in a sense I see the whole search for a soulmate idea like a statistical curve, in theory you'll be able to get close to it but its really difficult to actually reach it, and I think to a sense thats why it all works out in the end because as I am sure many people in relationships will attest to will probabably be able to find some flaw in their partner no matter how "perfect" they may be.

sodredge

I can only pray there is such a person out there, then again...

I was looking at Wikopedia and it strikes me funny that this is how they coin that word.

Soulmate (or soul mate) is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a subjective, emotional feeling of deep affinity, friendship, love, strong intimacy or compatibility.

Some how putting it like that seems to lessen it some how. Though I get it. I have been around the relationship block a few times. You could call me old school and a hard read at times, so finding the "one" has been a trial and as of late something I have given to my faith. If it is in the cards then God will play them for me.

Why would you not want to think that there is a Yin to your Yang, hope is what makes our world go round. Very Happy