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love or ....





agusta
Idea what do u do when u meet the love of of ur life, but then u r married to someone else......?????
briancoit
agusta wrote:
Idea what do u do when u meet the love of of ur life, but then u r married to someone else......?????


kill yourself.

Seriously though, if you're married and THEN go on to meet "the love of your life", you've got to wonder how serious you were when you got married.

How can you be sure this new "love", really is love? Do you know them well enough to be able to truely say you really love them, with all your heart? I doubt it.

You clearly have issues in your marriage, otherwise you wouldnt have given anyone else a second thought - if i'm right, then work through them, then consider what you want to do.

If you're still convinced you're in love, and dont love your current partner, the best thing to do is seperate, staying together wont help either of you - but be sure about what you're doing, either way. Only you know whats right for you.

Last piece of advice, dont do anything drastic, make sure its really what you want - whatever you do.
Traveller
briancoit wrote:
If you're still convinced you're in love, and dont love your current partner, the best thing to do is seperate, staying together wont help either of you - but be sure about what you're doing, either way. Only you know whats right for you.

"Right for you?" How about what's RIGHT? When someone take the wedding vows, they have made a solemn promise "until death."

Honestly: the problem, nowadays, is not that people find so many grounds for divorce, but that they never properly determined whether they had sufficient grounds for marriage!

If you think this new person is the "love of your life," and you already publically and legally declared your current spouse to be "the love of your life" ("life" being a very important word here), and you go ahead and leave your current spouse for this new person, then neither you nor this new person will ever have any future basis for trusting each other. First of all, the new spouse won't be able to trust you, since you have already left one spouse for the pursuit of another. In addition, you won't be able to trust the new spouse, since you already know that that person facilitated having someone leave a former spouse. True, you may have some degree of superficial happiness and you may satisfy your sexual cravings, but the seeds of doubt will always be present.
JoeFriday
not much more I can say that Traveller hasn't already covered

the first thing is, you don't just fall in love with someone without some participation.. and if you're participating, then you clearly have a problem with your pre-existing situation.. happily married people don't fall in love with other people

so clean up your own mess before you go messing up someone else's life, too
briancoit
Traveller wrote:
briancoit wrote:
If you're still convinced you're in love, and dont love your current partner, the best thing to do is seperate, staying together wont help either of you - but be sure about what you're doing, either way. Only you know whats right for you.

"Right for you?" How about what's RIGHT? When someone take the wedding vows, they have made a solemn promise "until death."


Although I partly agree, I also think its unhealthy to be in relationship that you're truely unhappy in. It can grind you down, and i've heard of people killing themselves because they're 'trapped' in unhappy marriages. Being happy, and mentally stable, comes before vows which clearly cant even have been taken that seriously in the first place.

Right or wrong, thats how i feel.
Sadow
Agusta, it is probably an intense infatuation.
Don't let this interfere with your marriage if you have a good marriage.
Just sit down and think about it. Evaluate your marriage again and weight the consequences when you should break it.

Don't consider starting something with the other cus this will make things far worse. Go see the film "Fatal Attraction". (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093010/)

Naturally this film shows a worst case scenario but it will surely make you start thinking this over.
ranciel
I still say, follow your heart.

But don't let your heart fool you.

I've left someone for another before, twice. And both times, it was for the same person. But we're not together anymore, not because of the trust issue but because of something very stupid of which I still have regrets till today.

But ah well, I don't quite agree with Traveller to a certain extent. But Traveller does make sense. Wink Though the trust issue has never been a problem for me after having left two men for one man at two different points in my life. He didn't have problems trusting me, 'cause he knew I loved him enough to leave two happy and stable relationships to embark on something so unstable and possibly fleeting.

Then again, you're married. So it is a whole new ball game altogether. With marriage, you have vows. And it's not that easy to leave a marriage to start on something you're not even sure about.

Ask yourself, do you really love your husband? Can you see yourself growing old with him? If your heart says yes, stay and solve whatever existing problems your marriage has. If your heart says no, leave. Everyone deserves to be happy. So do you.

So, just listen to your heart and follow it. Don't rush it, be sure then do it. Smile
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