Do you have REAL friends? that you see almost everyday... have funn with and can talk about everything and anything in PERSON....., or dose most of your social and mayb sex-life happen online? with maybe one or two interation with a group or such in the week the rest of your time spent on a computer/internet.....
Are your friends just contacts on MSN or Yahoo?
just as a note*, if you want to have a really annoying online friend, add smarterchild@hotmail.com to your MSN contacts, its one of the most annoying BOTS ive ever met, lol
---------------- 
I don't know how my friends really feel about me but ...
I am a real friend. I may choose to die for them if it means letting them live.
I see my best friend about once a week. What makes her my best friend? The other week I was feeling really down. I'm disabled and was depressed because I couldn't clean my house properly. She offered to come over after work a few day each week to do my cleaning for me. That's what I call a true friend
Here is my policy on friends. I have a top group which most people will call best friends. They either know everything about me, will know what they don't, or have the right to know. There are only about two people in that group. Like The Czar, I will knowingly die for them.
Next in knowledge about me but not in priority is my family. In other words, save for logical exceptions, I will always tend to my family first. However, I keep some knowledge of myself away fromt them to allow them a more relaxed lifestyle. As with my best friends, I will give up anything for my family, leading up to and including the ultimate sacrifice.
The third group is the rest of my friends. These are people I know well. We will set aside things to spend time with each other but won't go to extreme lengths. I would risk my life for them, although I'm sure they'd understand if wouldn't die for them.
The final group consists of my associates, people I am forced to socialize with. I will always consider helping them out, but usually only if they ask me.
With this hiearchy, there come exceptions that I allow due to a diverse logic of mine. For example, I would deny a dinner with my family to aid a dying friend or even rendezvous with one that I simply haven't seen in quite a while.
I have only one bestest friend ever in my life.
we dont talk that much anymore but he is the one who can answer all my problems and can help me to solve them.
I believe he is someone out there, looking out for all of us, sometimes we doubt his presence but he will never leave us.
his name is Jesus.
I do have one real friend. The rest is just people I more or less know...
This friend and I talk person to person as often as we can, but there are also a lot of e-mailing, and messenger talk going on. We can talk about anything, anytime of the day. We support eachother, and keep the eachother alive...
I'm luckt enough to have a few *real* friends (not counting my wife), these are people I have know for years and we are in constant contact and seeing/helping each other out when it is needed.
*EDIT* - I thought I did, but it seems I am sadly mistaken.
Last edited by Vrythramax on Tue Jul 25, 2006 3:15 am; edited 1 time in total
Aside from my wife and son, I do have "real" frinds. I don't necessarily talk to them on a daily basis, but I do "hang" with them during the week.
The way i see it is that everyone innately looks after their own interests. A friend is someone who is willing to align your interests with theirs to a certain extent. I guess what you mean by "real??" is whether or not the friendship is mutual, transient or fake in the first place.
Hi there,
I have true friends. I am a little relapse person, I guess I should be more "present", but I know that I can be count with my friends when I need them and They can count with me too, of course.
Because my work and my obligations I am a little distant now, and I know I shoul be something to change that.
| discountcontacts wrote: |
| The way i see it is that everyone innately looks after their own interests. A friend is someone who is willing to align your interests with theirs to a certain extent. I guess what you mean by "real??" is whether or not the friendship is mutual, transient or fake in the first place. |
Unfortuanatly I think this is a little pessimistic.
I personally believe that Humans are social creatures by nature, having a need to connect with like minded individuals. That, I believe, is why Solitary Confinement is an extreme form of punishment.I view friendship as a deep bond between persons. Some people does not understand it but well, me and my friends does.
I mean, we can not meet for weeks or months or years, and I just recieve news from her blog and we sometimes talk to some IM but when we meet again, we feel as close as just we've just been separated yesterday. The bond will never be broken, whatever you do, even you quarrel or do shits to each other.
But in case you're talking about RL friends in comparison to OL friends well, I dont know, the list is quite mixed. Like I meet some officemates online and stuff. But for those that are purely online friends only, well, they're nice. And I have really, really nice friends that I can talk to. People that I've been drawn close to, those that I tell stuffs that I can't tell to my reall life friends. Still, I have a life. I do not spend my time in the internet voraciously like most people does. Because its still different if you have your friends beside you whenever you needed them.
REAL friends?? Difficult! Especially in this age where $$$ comes first! People love $$$, and how often do we hear stories of friends cheat another friend because of $$$? I say, $$$ is the root of all evil being that destroys friendships on Mother Earth! Thank goodness we have the Blog and this forum to kill time and express ourselves! Hehe.
| illegalhost wrote: |
| REAL friends?? Difficult! Especially in this age where $$$ comes first! ... I say, $$$ is the root of all evil being that destroys friendships on Mother Earth! |
I don't think money comes first. so i also don't think money (in my case not dollars 
) is a thread to real friendship. friendship is not at all about the material things in life, but gives us the chance to express what we feel and think whithout the constant awareness of our dependence of money. friendship doesn't depend on money, it depends on what we feel. friendship can cheer you up. it is a better cure than money when you're feeling down. etc etc. i think i've made my point.
money is the root of evil; the ones saying this only agree for themselves that they don't see how they can cope with this powerful tool in life. i only can say: look! there is more in life! just keep searching to forms and states of hapiness that are less depending on material things!Well, up until some months ago I had 2 best friends i though I could trust my life upon... but it turned out I cant. Theyre just the sort of people that are "ok, youre cool, we can hangout, help eachouther out a bit... maybe" but theyll forget me in a few months form now on. So now im kinda sad and lonely, especially after thinking about such things, but i found a bright side to all this. Thing is, no one can cheat on me or betray me. Although thats the same thought as "hey, im broke so no one can rob me anymore!". Although I still continu meeting with them because we share some intrests and sometimes its the only way not to be bored all day.
| We r the SYC wrote: |
Do you have REAL friends? that you see almost everyday... have funn with and can talk about everything and anything in PERSON....., or dose most of your social and mayb sex-life happen online? with maybe one or two interation with a group or such in the week the rest of your time spent on a computer/internet.....
Are your friends just contacts on MSN or Yahoo?
just as a note*, if you want to have a really annoying online friend, add smarterchild@hotmail.com to your MSN contacts, its one of the most annoying BOTS ive ever met, lol
---------------- |
i dont have a such good friend and i think world is getting more and more selfish so people which can be called best friend is not possible but may be i got one in futureI guess it also depends on which country you were brought up in and the environment you grew up. Some are just contented with the simple things in life. Others (guess that would be me, haha!) grew up in a competitive environment where you couldn't possibly move at all unless you show some $$! But maybe it is just my mindset as well. Heck, mindset is shaped on the environment we grow right? How can we change it? Damn difficult.
Oops, guess i've strayed from the topic here. Hope the mods don't kill me fer it, haha. Yeah, honestly, i have some really good friends but it's been awhile since we last catch up. Having said that, friends are people who you actually go through and thin together, such as your army friends? Or your business friend who stick with you even though you are broke. now, that is NOT an easy one to find. Last time i checked, that would be classified under the "Spouse" column. Haha! Your spouse is your best friend once you get attached. Cuz you HAVE to lean on her/him when the tough gets going, right?? Oh, maybe your pet too.
Friendship is very sentimental touch in the world. Godd friends can change the life style and economic.
I have lot of good friends 
| illegalhost wrote: |
| I guess it also depends on which country you were brought up in and the environment you grew up. Some are just contented with the simple things in life. Others (guess that would be me, haha!) grew up in a competitive environment where you couldn't possibly move at all unless you show some $$! But maybe it is just my mindset as well. Heck, mindset is shaped on the environment we grow right? How can we change it? Damn difficult. |
man, i don't think you changed the topic here. this is about what it is that makes us calling someone a real friend, and whether such a person can truly exist in certain environments. especially yours, where money has such a dominant role that it has infected all interpersonal relations!
are there any contexts that you meet friends where money does not count at all? for me there are lots. for instance when i play music in my band and share the vibes we feel when we make music and talk about it later. or other things when you build on a relationship that is based on trust and about being understood.Actually I think that I have some real friends. I have at least four persons I can rely fully on.
i have hundreds of real friends
i guess, real friend -someone i dont' see in awhile yet can resume any conversation without awkwardness at all times even periods when you lose communication-are just a handful.
I have a circle of friends I've had for almost a decade - great guys all, and with any one of them I can spend hours just talking - discussing things we're both interested in, occasionally friendly debate about things we don't agree on, that kind of thing. I'd be a bit lost without them, frankly.
I have other friends too, of course, but outside that circle only one of them can compete in terms of closeness - and that's the girl I've been in a loving relationship with for over a year. 
I have real friends, lol. I actually dislike online communities like myspace and stuff. I get so bored! i do use MSN sometimes and Facebook because that is the only way i can communicate with someone, but it's rare to see me on one of those
I have not many 'real' friends but some realy good ones. The were with me over 20 years.
ofcourse. I can imagine life without my friends. Friends truly become part of my family.
Introduction
Last edited by billys on Tue Aug 15, 2006 9:32 pm; edited 1 time in total
SORRY FOR THE MISTAKES ON THE LAST ONE I HAD A SMALL PROBLEM WITH THE QUOTES
Introduction
Friends, human relations, sometimes they are so complicated, some times they are straight forward, thus they are so complicated!
Trying to answer this question makes me recall back to my memory all of the human relationships I had, well there are not so much but hey I am 17, I guess that a lot will come.
And I guess that many opinions exist for this subject due to the fact that everybody's answers depend on their past experiences. If someone has had some ruff relationships and some people have hurt him he says that friendship doesn't exist, on the other hand if someone has had people with who he could bond he says that friends (real ones) exist.
Well, I guess that the answer to the question "do you have real friends" must firstly be answered by defining real friends...
I know that having a friend isn't having a notebook with a number of standards and when someone fulfills all of them, he then passes the test and instantly becomes your best friend!
But there must be some stuff that we find in our friend that are the same for everyone because as human, are needs are similar and due to the fact human contact is a really big need we have to have standards (conscious or unconscious) in our friends!
Are real friends people who we can talk with about any subject that comes up?
| Subsonic Sound wrote: |
I can spend hours just talking - discussing things we're both interested in,
|
Are real friends people who we help each other in every different situation and rely on?
| Jakob [JaWGames] wrote: |
| I have at least four persons I can rely fully on. |
| talonsmallville wrote: |
| when I need them and They can count with me too, of course.. |
| Icantation wrote: |
| but he is the one who can answer all my problems and can help me to solve them. |
| woundedhealer wrote: |
. She offered to come over after work a few day each week to do my cleaning for me. That's what I call a true friend
|
Are real friends people that we feel deep connection with and can share really important things from our live?
| studsstudio wrote: |
gives us the chance to express what we feel and think whithout the constant awareness of our dependence of money
. |
| kazoe wrote: |
I view friendship as a deep bond between persons. Some people does not understand it but well, me and my friends does. I mean, we can not meet for weeks or months or years, and I just recieve news from her blog and we sometimes talk to some IM but when we meet again, we feel as close as just we've just been separated yesterday. The bond will never be broken, whatever you do, even you quarrel or do shits to each other.
. |
Are real friends people who we can hang around with forever, or have no ice there left to break!?
| em0o wrote: |
| i guess, real friend -someone i dont' see in awhile yet can resume any conversation without awkwardness. |
.
| UApilot wrote: |
| They either know everything about me, will know what they don't, or have the right to know.. |
Well, for me, I think that having a friend works on two levels. The conscious and the unconscious. Consciously, I believe that we consider the person that we have this relation with friendly for the above reasons. But after hearing about Froyd’s ideas about the unconscious part of us I also seem to feel that.
Unconsciously, there is a whole other game playing which we may not even know about. Maybe, your friend reminds you (character/appearance) unconsciously of something you really love. And you love that thing/person (always unconsciously) because when you had it with you or where in contact with it/him it made you feel biologically nice. Or when you are with your friend you have the chance even if you know it or not to unleash desires from the past. Many other stuff may happen which create this bond.
I think that it is really difficult to say he is a real friend or he is not. Because, people in my life that I considered to be my friends ended up humiliating and avoiding me and others which I was avoiding I ended with having the best time with them. I believe that life is really complex and human relations is a really fluid situation, all of these people that I know I just cannot start categorizing them. You never know what is going to happen in the next chapter of your life, so you cannot say for sure if he is real or he is not. You really have to give your best shot and try your best to keep the relation alive, because (I don’t know for you guys) but for me having a good relation is something that needs effort, sacrifices and a lot of hope that things will finally work out. Because and the saying says(I don’t really know if a heard it from somewhere or I made it up myself but it hears right in my mind!)
You will be more hurt from the people you love the most.
Last edited by billys on Thu Aug 17, 2006 2:51 am; edited 1 time in total I think that you can have friends eventhough you don't speak with them everyday, but you still know that they are there to help you in anything, and also dogs! I think any animal makes a great friend for all of us.
I think he was just asking if you had friends you knew in real life, guys. lol. =p
Yeah.. the friends I talk to online are 98% of the time friends in "real life." I'm only really online on like MSN or whatever to talk to my boyfriend when I can't see him and good friends studying in other countries.
Basically, I do interact with friends daily. haha.
Friends are a gift from God! True friends are few, and it is very important to have good friends who are trustworthy and loyal!
A friend in need is a friend indeed! 
I guess most of the criteria of having real or true friends are based on individual’s expectation from a person they may consider as real and true friend. I also agree with one post that says real friendship has different level. And another thing, each of us has been created as a unique individual so the character that is inherent with us varies, too. A friend of one maybe an enemy of another. A ‘real’ to one maybe ‘unreal’ to another. True indeed, friendship has different levels and what most of the posts have said are the basics of real and true friends. But should real friends and friendship ends with the basics?
Let me say it this way, how about us ourselves, are we real friends to ourselves? When we start to expect things from others and start qualifying each as ‘just’ friend or true friend, we must not forget to put ourselves and our attitude towards the other as one of the major criteria why one becomes our true friend or just another friend. When you can be real and true to yourself, then you can be a real and true friend. When you can be a real friend, then you can find a real and true friend from others. We can’t expect one to be real to us when we can’t go real with them. Real friendship is earned from the heart and not from the barrel of a gun. It is a product of enduring time, space, and consequences mutually weaved meticulously to fit each piece and be able to create a fine craft in your relationship as friends. Remember, real and true friends are product of YOUR efforts, too. So, help the person become a real friend to you by being one first.
‘There is no greater measure of real and true friend than when one is willing to offer his/her life for the sake of the other’ And, yes btw, if you can do that to person you don’t even know, what more then can a friend expect from you? A true and a real friend is so extremely difficult to find now. If you are able to find one, fall to your knees and give thanks, for you have found a priceless possession to treasure a lifetime. 
| arjay wrote: |
| When you can be real and true to yourself, then you can be a real and true friend. When you can be a real friend, then you can find a real and true friend from others. We can’t expect one to be real to us when we can’t go real with them. Real friendship is earned from the heart and not from the barrel of a gun. It is a product of enduring time, space, and consequences mutually weaved meticulously to fit each piece and be able to create a fine craft in your relationship as friends. Remember, real and true friends are product of YOUR efforts, too. So, help the person become a real friend to you by being one first. |
I really agree with this point of view.
It is true for me also that the way we treat and see others is a reflection of how we see and treat ourselves and a mixure of the attitute of that person.
(As a episode of scrubs said) People (interaction with them and through the way we act in situtations) are a mirror to ourselves and when you are with them let's hope that we like the reflection.I know i have a bunch of REAL friends. We're a really tight close knit group that formed in our first year of university,a nd we'd do anytign for each other, taht im sure of. we're about 7, and alogn with my best friend from high school, i think these are the people that I'll never stop communicating with.
There’s a miracle of friendship that
dwells within the heart
And you don’t know how it happens
or where it gets its start
But the happiness it brings you
always gives a special lift
Any you realize that friendship
Is God’s most perfect gift.
Yes, i got a real true friend.....
| Quote: |
| When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy. |
Yes, I have real friends outside the internet. I love my friends. I treasure them so much.
I am not sure if I have real friends, since much of the time we get together but some of those times I feel out of place. Some of them have betrayed me or let me down in some way, so I don't know how reliable they are. Probably there is no such thing as a real friend, probably in a specific situation or moment every friend is capable of turning around and stabbing you in the back. Who knows? Maybe I haven't live enough.
Yes, I really do have real friends. But I can't say that I see them everyday, e few of them live in other parts of the world. but i don't think seeing eachother regularly is necessarily a criteria for being real friends. I'd rather say that the fact that we don't see eachother often, with some people I don't even have regular contact of any kind, yet when we do meet it's like no time has passed. I think that with real friends you don't have to prove the value of your friendship for it to prevail.
uhuh..i have real friends. yea and they're there for me to share my probs and hurts most of the times, although most of the times i would rather keep them to myself coz they aren't so serious problems..but other than that..yeaa i would tell them my probs and usually they'll give me sm advice i need.
but recently we haven't really been in much contact due to busy schedules and stuff liddat.
I have my friends of school (some of them are bad friends) and my friends I know a long long time. I just don't make friends who I never have met.
All my friends are real people I have met outside the net. I honestly have never met someone new and befriended them on the internet.
I have a few real friends. I love them so much.
