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Post your opinion on Indian Marriage System





kiran
This is life-long commitment between man and woman. I think this system is very good. One should have a good spouse for the rest of your life. This is strongest social bond that takes the place between one wife and one husband
Citizen Kane
I don't know the difference between Indian en Dutch marriage system. Tell us please how this "Indian Marriage System" works...?
CameraKitten
Quote:
I don't know the difference between Indian en Dutch marriage system. Tell us please how this "Indian Marriage System" works...?


The wife is sold, prepromised, or her husband is chosen. Females are not equal with males, and are often not seen as human. Females have no say in who they marry. Thats also in Korea, but women are human there. I believe. I COULD be wrong.
Farhad
I honestly think it's utter rubbish.

It's something that has affected my relationship and my brothers. I dated a girl from south east asia. One of the first things that came up was that her mother did not like me because am not from her country or cultural backgorund but accepted me because I was good for her daughter, and her father plain did not want me to exist, i eventually found out that my girl never even told him about me, because that would mean the relationship would end. It was one of the many reasons my relationship did not work out, I just hated the cloack and dagger bullshit that we had to endure... the fact that we couldn't do like 60% of what free couple could do...

My brothers was even worse, he fell for a girl hard back in college, they dated for 2 years, however the moment her parents met him they barred her from seeing or talking to him. She basically snubbed him.

And the whole Indian marriage thing? Please... it's reducing life long commitment to a mere transaction that suits both parents and takes no feelings into account of either parenter. Living as I did surrounded in a large indian community it wasn't hard to see that infidelity was rampant.

My thoughts. Its outdated and pre historic. Though thats only my view.
CameraKitten
Quote:
My thoughts. Its outdated and pre historic. Though thats only my view.


I happen to agree with you there. I feel their system is VERY unfair. Very rarely is love ever considered; its all got to do with money, status, and better chances of male childeren.
S3nd K3ys
Just the fact that there are still people in this world that think women and men are not equal is disgusting to me.
carolinehjkim
I don't know exactly about Indian marriage system is. But if CameraKitten's post is true than, I think it's difinitely wrong.

and......
[quote="CameraKitten"]
Quote:
Thats also in Korea, but women are human there. I believe. I COULD be wrong.

Camera Kitten....I think you are wrong about that sentence above sentence. That doesn't happen in Korea at all. I'm not sure where you got that wrong information?....
Citizen Kane
Have any of you seen the movie Ae Fond Kiss? It's about a young hindu man having himself a western girlfriend and the hell this raises with his family and in his own relationship.

We have to understand that marriage in india or another culture is an entirely different thing to getting married in a western culture. "LOVE" doesn't matter in India, because having a financial background an a decent future is much more important than love. With a decent future children are more able to support their parrents when these parents grow old (because of the lack of social support and the understanding that you support your parents through their life. They gave you, so in the end you give something to them). Kiran also shows this as he describes marriage as a SOCIAL bond, not an emotional one.

Asking the question what everybody thinks of the indian marriage system is like asking the pope what he thinks of atheism. He simply cannot understand the true meaning of it, neither can we simply not understand what is would be like to be brought up in India and get married there, because we are not. And will never be. (except for the indian members on the forum).

People who live in India and who have never been in contact with the western system don't even know what it's like to get married out of love, so they will not qualify this as better. It's just normal for them, as it is normal for us to get married when two people have an emotional bond.

Methinks that comparing the western system to the indian system only becomes reality in an intercultural relationship. I also think it is not up to us to jugde things that we don't know. So I won't.
wowz
that's just silly Smile
skygaia
CameraKitten wrote:


The wife is sold, prepromised, or her husband is chosen. Females are not equal with males, and are often not seen as human. Females have no say in who they marry. Thats also in Korea, but women are human there. I believe. I COULD be wrong.


I don't know what indian marriage system is. But you have wrong information. I'm in Korea. it's impossible here.
It has never happend in Korea
MDCNK
My family is indian but I was born and raised the dutch way, even though I am somewhat raised with indian rituals and such I do not have the need to be married that way. Women are just as men, we're all humans and we all should be treated the same, I personally think women should get way more attention and care/say in a faithful relationship/marriage.
I am also part hindu but I have an american (caucasian) girlfriend, I don't feel like I have to be with also an Hindu woman just because I have indian in my familytree.

But of course I respect all the people who do choose for it but I personally don't agree with that 'system'.
brweb
skygaia wrote:
CameraKitten wrote:


The wife is sold, prepromised, or her husband is chosen. Females are not equal with males, and are often not seen as human. Females have no say in who they marry. Thats also in Korea, but women are human there. I believe. I COULD be wrong.


I don't know what indian marriage system is. But you have wrong information. I'm in Korea. it's impossible here.
It has never happend in Korea


I am from India..

skygaia you are right...

marriage in India is very important in life... so, we are taking very seriusly this matter... that's all...

and one more thing
This is fully wrong - "Females are not equal with males".
In India.. Females are goddess...

...
tidruG
CameraKitten wrote:
Quote:
I don't know the difference between Indian en Dutch marriage system. Tell us please how this "Indian Marriage System" works...?


The wife is sold, prepromised, or her husband is chosen. Females are not equal with males, and are often not seen as human. Females have no say in who they marry. Thats also in Korea, but women are human there. I believe. I COULD be wrong.

Woah!
Who told you that? Living in India, I can tell you for a fact that that is not true.

Farhad wrote:
I honestly think it's utter rubbish.

It's something that has affected my relationship and my brothers. I dated a girl from south east asia. One of the first things that came up was that her mother did not like me because am not from her country or cultural backgorund but accepted me because I was good for her daughter, and her father plain did not want me to exist, i eventually found out that my girl never even told him about me, because that would mean the relationship would end. It was one of the many reasons my relationship did not work out, I just hated the cloack and dagger bullshit that we had to endure... the fact that we couldn't do like 60% of what free couple could do...

My brothers was even worse, he fell for a girl hard back in college, they dated for 2 years, however the moment her parents met him they barred her from seeing or talking to him. She basically snubbed him.

And the whole Indian marriage thing? Please... it's reducing life long commitment to a mere transaction that suits both parents and takes no feelings into account of either parenter. Living as I did surrounded in a large indian community it wasn't hard to see that infidelity was rampant.

My thoughts. Its outdated and pre historic. Though thats only my view.

Well, unfortunately, there are some really old families that are rather orthodox in their views. They're hesitant to let people marry out of their religion or caste, and the matrimonial ads are still divided into caste names, which is utter crap, in my opinion.

Citizen Kane wrote:
Have any of you seen the movie Ae Fond Kiss? It's about a young hindu man having himself a western girlfriend and the hell this raises with his family and in his own relationship.

We have to understand that marriage in india or another culture is an entirely different thing to getting married in a western culture. "LOVE" doesn't matter in India, because having a financial background an a decent future is much more important than love. With a decent future children are more able to support their parrents when these parents grow old (because of the lack of social support and the understanding that you support your parents through their life. They gave you, so in the end you give something to them). Kiran also shows this as he describes marriage as a SOCIAL bond, not an emotional one.

Asking the question what everybody thinks of the indian marriage system is like asking the pope what he thinks of atheism. He simply cannot understand the true meaning of it, neither can we simply not understand what is would be like to be brought up in India and get married there, because we are not. And will never be. (except for the indian members on the forum).

People who live in India and who have never been in contact with the western system don't even know what it's like to get married out of love, so they will not qualify this as better. It's just normal for them, as it is normal for us to get married when two people have an emotional bond.

Methinks that comparing the western system to the indian system only becomes reality in an intercultural relationship. I also think it is not up to us to jugde things that we don't know. So I won't.
You're living in the India of the '60s and '70s, my friend. Love marriages are very common here nowadays. There's a big change when it comes to people's views on marriage these days. It's pretty much the same as your western system. The only difference is that dating is still frowned upon in some of the rather conservative societies.

It's time the west stopped looking at the old movies and old reports of life in India to judge how things are in India. Y'all should meet and interact with the Indians living here now, and then notice the change in life and living standards here. Unfortunately, pathetic stories or sad stories or stories which are shocking are easy to sell in the media, and that's what the media sells about India. Instead of looking at stray cases, look at how things are in general.

PS: Even though I did mention that dating is frowned upon in some conservatice societies, I'd just like to mention that in most urban cities, dating is not a problem. Quite a few of my friends have girlfriends (or boyfriends).

As far as females not being equal to males, that's utter bullshit. The thing is that the dowry system is still practised in some rural and very orthoddox societies, which makes a female child less desirable in some families. But once again, that's restricted only to those certain families and communities.
orno
CameraKitten wrote:
The wife is sold, prepromised, or her husband is chosen. Females are not equal with males, and are often not seen as human. Females have no say in who they marry. Thats also in Korea, but women are human there. I believe. I COULD be wrong.


India is not what Bollywood and Hollywood (occasionally) make it out to be... Atleast not anymore...and not in the big cities and towns anyways. sure it has its problems, no system in the world is perfect, but the fact of the matter is that things are changing...

having a boyfriend/girlfriend is not such a taboo thing anymore, live-in relationships, although still frowned upon, are becoming more common, pre-marital sex (although a topic always avoided) is not such a big deal. each country has its own traditions and religion brings with it more "confusion".

and then, on the side of the world, we have pre-nups and what not. i think people nowadays (atleast in the western world) marry coz its so convenient and coz they can get out of it easily... to me it sounds like a normal girlfriend/boyfriend relationship with extra "benefits" like sharing the surname (if at all), or a peer pressure thing or whatever...
i dunno...thats just my opinion...

fact of the matter is, no system is perfect and i think everyone should respect the traditions and customs of a country before blindly dismissing it at bad or useless
Tokci
CameraKitten I agree that this used to happed....but about 60 yrs back. Things have changed. Ppl are becoming more open here.

Love marriages are becoming very common now a days. The most imp part of the system is that ppl actually believe in it. Even if there are some differences in the marriage they try to work it out and make it happen.
indianinworld
Marriage is not just Marriage in India.

But a Relationship which is very equal to a relationship that exists between a Man and his Mother.

Indian Marriage system not only acts a Lisence of a Man to Hold to a Women, But also develops a internal Bond, Trust and mutual relationship with each other. This marriage system acts as an showcase to the world that they are not Bachlor or Individuals anymore. They are couples NOW.



I can see people posting "Rubbish" , "Females - not equal with males" and other such things...

As one of my friend told, - We Have more Female Godesses than Male Gods in India. This shows our respect towards our opposite sex.

In India, Women are treated as eyes of a Person. Parents help and save women right from her birth till she is married. After that Husband takes their role.

There is only Parenting present with the parents. But there is LOVE and parenting with Wife.
(There is difference between the Love with Mother and a Love with Wife)



There may be some women who doenot go or go against this. But most of them does go. That is why Indian Culture always flies high...
mOrpheuS
tidruG wrote:
It's time the west stopped looking at the old movies and old reports of life in India to judge how things are in India.


It's an established fact that all Indian men wear turbans and gather around the Taj Mahal to wave frantically towards the sky ...















Come on, admit it already !





p.s. - And in case you're wondering where the women are all this while ... well, they are tethered up alongside the cattle, ready to be sold to the butcher once they're all full and fat ...
picsite
Are you talking about the pure old style indian marriage....because now a days you rarely see that and even in india you get a more modern style of marriage.
SaurabhKumar
I think Indian Marriage System are good. Arranged marriages are traditional in Indian society and continue to account for an overwhelming majority of marriages in India.
cybersa
In my opinion,Indian Marriage system is good system.
Now day's Indian Marriage system is decreasing.
georgekalathil
yes..Indian marriage system is one of the strongest one in the world and gives more importance to moral value unlike in the western countries...I am saying it from my own experience..
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