When you have a girl friend, will you have sex with her? Is that a normal life if we have sex with our girl friend? Or a couple can't have sex until they had married? Why sex? Tell us WHY you had sex with you beloved and WHY you don't have sex with your beloved.
I'm going to get hounded as soon as the people from my topic in Religion on Sex Before Marriage find this topic. See, I've been learning new things about the Faith and I have been really doing research on waiting until after marriage and going ahead and having sex whenever. I've come to this conclusion:
The Bible tells us that fornification (sex before marriage) is wrong. Yet, it gives us the simple reason that our body is filled with the Holy Spirit...no. I needed a reason, one that makes sense. I couldn't find one. I searched everywhere: Jewish Torah, Bible, Church, Writings; but I couldn't find one. So I decided, here is what I think. Sex before marriage can be wrong, or it can be the best personal experience ever. If you wait for someone you really love, and I mean you would do anything for her and you go crazy when you see her you're so in love; and you plan it out best you can, take the measures available to avoid pregnancy and STDs, with your soon-to-be partner then it should be an excellent experience.
People try to tell me that the feelings of sadness and crying are God's ways of telling you you did wrong...no. Even if you are married there have still be cases where the depression still occured and it was a larger sum then the ones without it.
I recently became aware of these things and now I am possibly planning to mabye think about it as I get older. I don't think one-night-stands are right.
This decision does not effect my ways. I still can keep my beliefs and have this one different. If it lands me and Hell, I can say I had a good time and enjoyed it. Plus, my girlfriend will come along with me so it can't be that bad.
Long: do it because it's a fun and natural way to have a good time. As long as you're safe there's no reason not to.
in the words of Ben Stiller:
i think its up to you both and most importantly if you are both comfortable with it . I dont think religion should come into it . It should be something just between two people and there isnt anything wrong with it at this stage. It is perfectly fine and normal!
You should do it, indeed.
Why not? even in my country - with such a traditional culture - China.
I figure if I truly love the girl, and she's truly special enough, I will wait until marriage - when it REALLY means something. Because as I have seen time and time again around my high school, in a relationship when a boyfriend and a girlfriend have sex... it becomes ALL about the sex, and they lose the intimate relationship they had on an emotional level. Obviously that doesn't apply to all relationships, but just from what I've seen.
Personally, I think this is a tough question that depends on the relationship and the people in it. Of course personal beliefs should be respected, but at the same time, I think that relationships should be allowed to progress naturally. And if that includes sex, then it does. Regardless, the focus shouldn't be on sex in a relationship.
Culturally, I think people don't look at sex, or marriage the same way they did even a decade ago. So it's hard even within the generations to decide which is right and which is wrong. I say, go with what feels right, and don't let people pressure you to do what you don't want to.
You nearly answered your own question. In the times when the Bible was written, there were no reliable methods of contraception. So, no sex outside of marriage was both a way to help prevent parentless, illegitimate children and also a control on disease.
This is an interesting poll.
I wouldnt say for which option I voted but this gave me an oppurtunity to learn views of others.
i don't think there's anything wrong with premarital sex if you're safe about it. as long as you're informed and know what you're doing, it can be a very satisfying way to spend time with your partner. i don't think it's the largest part of a relationship, but i also think it's a very important part of one. this leads me to the point i always bring up when premarital sex is the topic of conversation:
what happens if the person you marry is horrible in bed? you've just vowed to be with someone for the rest of your life, but you don't enjoy being with them in bed.. how do you think that's gonna work out? you should at least test the ice before walking on it.
what exaclty are "needs" anyway? like, 'i really need to have sex right now'?
haha 'needs'. that totally reminds me of Fez from That 70's Show.
Tell why I had sex with my gf? It's not like it's that big of a deal. Just bored and horny I guess. Plus I don't live at my parent's house any more. What I really want to know is why were those cat's having sex outside my window at 3am this morning?
i wouldnt do it if i wasnt really close to them...
sex isnt something you should just do with anyone.. yknow
and the person who quoted the bible is right. you shouldnt have sex before marriage. it's wrong.
It's wrong why? because your personal morallity says it is? Just because something is wrong 'for you' and you don't agree with it doesn't make it universally wrong.
If a person were to not subscribe to the 'christian' school of thought, it might be perfectly fine for them. It might even be the RIGHT thing according to them.
Something like this can't be discussed in absolute terms.
Sex dosen't make you closer its an expression of closeness, to the 8 people who answered the top answer on the poll.
your to stupid to be sexuall active, i dont care if your 13 or 30. you are stupid.
i have had sex with my girl friend. i am over twenty years , she as well, and i think it is normal. morever sex is the same important as loving, eating e.t.c for every human.
Live for life,
make love not war...
Whatever cliche you want to use there is one for how you feel about this topic....
Personally I think if you want it, get it, if you can wait do it... and when in doubt fly solo and think of your best friends mum....
hmm marriage in itsel is bollocks, ppl change, the only thing constant is change, it is very rare if two ppl can stay together for such a long time and truely still have an insterest in each other...
Intimacy is a special bond that ppl share when or before making love... It is a true emotion and very poweful. There is nothing wrong with that..
Making love for the wrong reasons is wrong... but in today's society it is everywhere, how can one not be interested or curious before marriage?
My girlfriend and I used to stay in a house with another couple, who used to make such a rukus when making love, just so everyone could hear how porno they are... Ha! Sure, my girlfriend and I sometimes get porno as well but i'll tell you now that is not intemacy, that is straight SEX. So, i believe if you are having sex to please your lust, that is wrong..sex is sooo much more than that...if you have having sex to experience a special bond with your lover, there is nothing wrong with that.. But wether or not its before marriage is, should i say, irrelevant...cos thats just a bunch of bollocks..
We waited a long time. Almost a year. But when we were comfortable with each other, and we knew it was more than lust, we realised it was something we both wanted... and so why not?
It should only depend on how you feel about it. If you want to, why not? But don't do it for pressure. It's your body, and only you can feel when the time has come.
"Needs", human's need, like eat, drink, breath, think, so is sex 1 of these needs? If sex is 1 of our need, then why sex before mariage is illegal? If sex isn't 1 of our need, then what sex is??
Illegal? Where are we talking about?
Im in the UK, sex before marriage isnt illegal, and quite rightly so.
At the end of the day, in my opinion, its up the individuals themselves whether or not they want to have sex, at any time, including before marriage. To have it governed by law, when its the most natural thing in the world, is just crazy. Marriage seems to mean nothing in modern day terms, and from what i've seen of it lately, I probably wont be getting married any time soon, but that doesnt mean I love my partner any less, and we're both comfortable with eachother on a sexual level... so why not?
So yeah, basically... Sex with my partner is a common occurance, no reason why it shouldnt be either!
Having said that, I am obviously just asking to be attacked by bible bashers (no offence to christians, its not the 'average' christian i have a problem with) who seem to enjoy forcing their beliefs on anyone they can...
I just love to have sex...I do not see any point to wait until getting married. I think that we should all "try" relationships until we think we found the right one. Ok, some people find their right person in their first relationship. I don't. Moreover, sometimes it is just the fun, the kick. I see sex more as a game than as something serious. Sex can be apart from love. Although it feels better with the love thing (after a while). So I see it as a game, though, be careful, use appropiate tools to protect yourself and the other...
he is totally right after starting sex there is only sex and sex but kissing and some hugs should be done i think so ....
you have 3 types of intimate relations:
having sex with your gf
and having one night stands
The only difference between those three relies in just how you do it, from soft, a little harder, to perverse sexual relations (if your lucky).
If we can do it, than why not? Is it evil? I don't think so. Is it enjoyable for us? Ofcourse. Is it embedded in our genes? Surely.
The instinct of reproduction lies in all of us. So why not practice alot before actually doing it?
Should be about love but yeah if your both comfortable with sex it's a good way to have fun as well.*
*My age displayed on FriHost is a figment of your imagination.
Sex is sex, So if a friend of urs is close to u and both of ya are confurtable with sharing sex than it should be alright, I would have to say thou it's harder to have casual sex with a friend of urs that's young, they tend to get attached to quickly and often get their feelings hurt. best bet is to leave the young ones alone cuz they'll nipp ya in the but later... unless of course u live in washington state, where everybody sleeps with everybody no matter what the age is lol. but yah have a good day all!!
when people are young, they think sex is the ultimate form of intimacy.. and when they get older, they realize it's barely the beginning
I realize that the question was posed by someone much younger than I am.. and I personally think most teens should restrict their sexual activities to 'safe levels'.. ie, non-penetration.. but I also know how difficult that is, given the raging hormones, and also the huge amount of peer pressure pushing them to 'join the party'
however, once a person reaches a certain emotional maturity level, sex is another part of life that I think most people should experience and experiment with (within reason, of course).. it's a natural biological function and should be enjoyed.. the key is to do it with someone you feel some connection to, and to be responsible with your actions and implied feelings
that being said, I wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone who wants to 'save it for later'.. but considering I date women in their 30s and 40s, and I think a 40 year old woman who is saving herself for marriage probably has some other issues that I'd rather not get involved with
but if we're talking a 20 year old who is 'saving herself'.. that's a different story.. altho I still think it's best to explore those waters a bit before you are 100% committed.. in my younger days, there were several women who used that 'saving it for when you commit' line to really mean "I'll use sex to reward you when you do what I want".. which is blatant manipulation.. not good
From the mouth of Kelso.
"Jackie, Lets Do it"
From the mouth of Hyde
"Jackie, I wanna do it"
From the mouth of Eric
"Donna, Lets Do it"
From the mouth of Donna
"Eric, I dont wanna do it because Sex Changes everything in a relationship"
From the Mouth of Fez
"ME AND LINDA DID IT AT THE DMV!!!"
From the thoughts of Jackie
"I wish Kelso or Hyde would ask me to Do it"
lol. What im tryin to get across is that people have a varied moral when it comes to sex. One person thinks its great while the next is repulsed by the thought of Premarital Sex. My opinion is. If you are gonna do it. Be safe about it. Dont put it in unless you can handle whats gonna come out.
I don't and won't until she is my wife. It is against my relidion to do so ...
I love her and I don't need to have sex with her yet ... I never held her hand and we've been together a long time ...
never held her hand? do you even kiss?
that would seriously lead to a very awkward wedding/honeymoon.
"you may now kiss the bride"
"uhh.. kiss her? how do I do that."
...later on the honey moon.....
"so we're sitting on the bed together, wow. oh jeez are we supposed to be doing something else? i forgot to take notes."
Now, now. Let's not poke fun at other peoples religions but indeed it could be vaguely problematic.
Even though I don't have physical contact with her. Doesn't mean that temptation hasn't made me download stuff ... and learn from those ... I've read the kamasutra ...
that's the part that doesn't make sense in my mind.
if you're practically 'cheating' on her with porn, wouldn't it only make sense to instead just do it with her?
Lustful desires for other women won't make your relationship stronger.
I mean if you're getting off to porn doesn't that also defeat the whole 'purity' stance that your religion is trying to push onto you?
Everyone should have sex..Its great. Why not have it? Don't let some stupid religion get in your way!!
then why do you think sex can make relationship between you n your gf more closer?? how to prove it?? don't you think if someday when you break with her, she will hurt more? or do you think after you have sex with her, you'll marry with her? and when you have sex with her, what was in your mind? do you think future? your future or her future?
It's essentially not. I'm personally oppose to it, and I think we should wait until marriage.
I think the poll choices are inadequate for expressing most opinions
If you are standing in the middle of the road and a truck is coming at you at 120mph what is going to happen? That's right, you'll be hit and you will die. But you can't understand why it hit you, since you don't believe in trucks. Does that stop it from being there?
In the same way, wether you believe in God and and His Commandments or not you will still be judged according to them.
this man speaks the truth!
the truth is, if you have a girl friend, there will be a time that both of you will feel the urge (if that's the right term) for it. Actually, sex is not planned. There will a time when both of you feel that you want to express your feelings through sex.
I'm not telling to you to have sex with your girl friends. no.no. In a relationship, respect should come first. If you want to have sex with your girl friend and she doesn't want to, don't force her. But based on my experience, I never planned to have sex with my girl. It just camein a certain time. Just be responsible for what are you going to do, and for the consiquences of it.
Be happy! the most important thing is, you love each other(of course the highest form of respect comes with it).
I will have a wait-and-see approach. Make sure the girl/guy really likes you before you go for it.
For the guys: If you love and respect the girl, you shouldn't force her into it.
For the girls: If you love and respect yourself, if you don't want to do it, then don't!
I am personally against pre-marital sex, being the Catholic that I am.
Aside from my obvious religious bias, in my opinion, having sex before marriage doesn't prove anything. It's a "for the moment" thing; a reaction to raging hormones and a need for short-term happiness and instant gratification. I assume that when you do it, you don't think about your future/marriage/STDs/pregnancy/AIDS/etc...
I also agree with the above quote. There are many factors affecting a relationship, and sex is not an indication of a relationship's "status". When you really love a girl, you will wait for her until you two are married. Not only would this prove that you don't just want her for sex... This proves that you love her enough to wait for marriage. Now that shows love and committment! The problem with our society is that most of us are afraid of making committments. Now what good is a relationship if you're not willing to commit to that special person?
Yes, having sex is natural. In fact, it's so natural that even animals do it. But what sets us apart from animals? What makes us human?
What makes us human are the committment and values that we add to our personal relationships. Lust is commonplace animal instinct; acting based solely on lust wouldn't make us any different from our pets. What good is a relationship if you only use a person for your own instant gratification [i.e. sex]? If that is the case, how different are we from animals who would roam around and "do it" with any available "mate" s/he seems fit?
Besides, if you have sex in order to "pre-screen" your partner and find out if "s/he is great in bed", sooner or later, when you get married and grow older, you'll find out that sex isn't the biggest part of your relationship. Sooner or later, you have to get jobs, raise a family, make things work, etc. Sex isn't the key to a healthy relationship. Sooner or later, you'll grow old and have other priorities in life.
well, i have to admit that i am virgin. my belief on that is simply, when we have that kind of need, we can easily masturbate ourselves. That is only a physical problem, like eat when have hunger.
sex with girlfriends is just another topic. As a conservative person, i hold it as my belief, that i would give the firsttime to the one i would love and live with for my last whole life.
i respect the others who think have not thought so high of sex, but i still stick to it.
I think having sex before marriege is okay and I agree that doing it makes your relationship more intimate as the phrase "make love to make the love works". Just do it safe and do it to the person you really love. So just in case she gets pregnant then it's okay coz you love her.
It's best to wait until after you're married. Not only because morally it's wrong, but also because it will be all the better when you get married and both you and your spouse will not have to wonder where the trail ends on whomever they had sex with and whomever they had sex with and trying to catch the trail of people.
This is a gift from God that is saved for marriage and it's Worth IT! Anything beforehand is only temporary satisfaction and will hurt your long term relationship with the person whom becomes your husband or wife.
Also, the chances for a marriage without divorce are greater when you've both waited for something this personal and special.
see I'm not down with that religious bullshit. beleive me, i know the bible, I've been a christian (although I've stopped using the title, as I feel by me calling myself 'christ-like' it doesn't portray an accurate image of Christ to others) for a good 20 years now, I've gone through insane experiences which 98% of christians couldn't begin to comprehend.
... and I still don't beleive it's correct to tell people 'if you don't do what i (oh, i mean GOD) says, then you'll be judged and you'll go to hell"
so besides using the 'because i (or some book written by humans) say so' response, how is sex before marrige universally and absolutely wrong regardless of religious affiliation?
i applaud this response, as it's very clear and non-judgemental (remember, even though you're a christian it's not your position to judge, that's God's job).
I can see the reasons why some people wont do it before marriage because your first time should be the best, althought sometimes when you've been with your boyfriend for quite a while and you BOTH feel ready to maybe go a little further for fun, a way of sharing your love, (or to have a baby obviously)then it's fine...Although i am not a fan of these one night stands because i do believe sex is to do with love and trust in a relationship, and sleeping with someone then the next day forgetting it is just wrong. When i get new boyfriends i don't suddenly think ''wow it's going to be fun tonight '' because people are different and people are ready at different times so i don't like it when girls and guys are pressurised into having sex with their partner because '' if you don't then you obviously don't love me!''.
Yeh, That 70's Show is a good example, think about back when people didn't care or worry about what they might contract, or who might result from sex without condom. Just make sure you're prepared for the consequences. I don't mean this as a bad thing. It can be very good if you do it properly. Of course, sex isn't something you just rush into. It's something that might develop over time. As disgusting as that sounds, it means you shouldn't pressure your mate into it. For men...let her decide when she's ready. For women...well...it's pretty much all up to you. Men are almost always ready, unless you have one of those men who only focus on their career.
why are people making such a big deal of this if you want to do it then go ahead if you dont then dont u make your own decisions. If you feel your beliefs are against it then shut up and wait. As for the people throwin their religion around have you ever heard the words only god can judge me. I have sex on the regular with the man i love i feel it keeps me sane it's an excellent way of relieving stress in my opinion. It is a natural human urge wut is so morally wrong about that. But like i said do what you do
I probably wouldn't have sex early on, maybe in a really serious relationship but even then it would be a tough call. The reason, im just the type of guy that will find a girl so wont have sex every 5 sec.
Well, i believe that if your religion says you shouldnt do it, and yo respect ur religion, then for goodness sake dont do it. Other people have their own personal reasons for doing/not doing it.
But i generally have the opiion of waiting for marriage because i feel there's a lot to be lost emotionlly slepping with someone you'd end up hating in abut 2 months time.
to be honest though, everyones different, religion or no religion.
Personally, my view is that sex has very little to do with religion, but with that said, im not religious.
Just do what you're comfortable with, and you'll be happy.
well, not yet....
That is quite a statement, Zero!
Seriously I don't think having sex before marriage is bad. It just shows that you are human and humans have urges that sometimes need to be fulfilled. The ones that do hold out until after marriage are the ones that have true self control over themselves and in this day and age they are the minority. I can't think of anyone that I am friends with or friends of friends that have not had sex prior to getting married. So I say if you can't control your urges and have to have sex do it safely. As long as you feel that it's right then who cares what other people think? The only opinion you should care about is yours.
i'm not religious nor do I think much about the sanctity of virginity or what not. I just think you'll know if you love the person and want to go that far with him/her.
one should practically sex thrice a week.. YaaaY ask me.. its FUN !! and to be true, i dont really seek love in life as i think love would someday on some turn in your life into lust only..
I personnally think That part of the things I would like to give to the person I love is what I have second best, my body and pleasure. And I expect the same from her. So I decided pretty much at the start to wait till I'm really convinced to do it. I have to recognise that the fact that I became muslim made me take a definitive decision to the question, since many things became clearer, but even before I became a muslim, I was always tending towards such a beghaviour, It's just my personal values and feelings.
according to Freud, human have id, ego and superego. id is the enjoyness in our mind. and we behave with id. so, everybody will have the thinking wanted to have fun and enjoy. and sex is the biggest enjoyfull in freud theory. but we will have ego to control id that it tell us to not doing that cause it is illegal or anything... but i think sex is good to release tension. someone who stress can reduce their stress by having sex. and i don't think sex is illegal. sex is the sharing lovely moment with someone we love. but sex is illegal if you have sex with someone you do not know, or pay for the sex. so, enjoy sex if you doing it with you beloved but you better stop if you having it with someone else.
Even though this is an old post, I just couldn't resist adding my 2 cents here.
Some have already talked about how some people don't believe in sex before marriage because it is against God's law. Personally, I agree with that, but in this day and age, even if you believe something, acting accordingly is another story.
But there is a more practical reason to avoid sex before marriage if you can. Having sex with someone is a a physical and spiritual experience. There is a strong bond that is created between the two people. Inevitably, break ups are intensely painful and very hard to get over because you shared that level of intimacy.
So, unless you are pretty sure you're in a relationship for the long haul, I'd advise against having sex with someone because the emotional pain is just so ultra intense after a break up. More so than if you simply broke up with someone that you were never intimate with. Trust me, I know.
I agree with the intimacy part being strengthened by sex, but not with the rest. All break ups are painful, regardless of whether or not sex was part of it. Sex is natural, as is the desire to have it with someone that you feel attracted to. Will a break up be harder if you had sex with the person you are breaking up with? I doubt it. It depends on intimacy, and there are a lot of ways to be intimate with one another. If a couple that were really intimate without sex break up and a couple that had sex but was less intimate nevertheless does the same then the pain for the first couple would be far greater, without a doubt.
Apart from the example above, I disagree. Obviously everyone should do what they are comfortable with, but not having sex just for the fear of a painful break up is something I would advise against. Like I said, break ups are always painful and relationships are about becoming intimate, how else do you get to know the person and decide if you want to spend maybe the rest of your life with him or her? Sex can be part of that process, and if both partners feel good about it then they should do it, without a doubt.
It depends. It depends on the society and culture you are based on. Above all, It depends on what you think about the matter.
I believe in sex after marriage but if my gf suggests pre marital sex to me, I will not decline. I guess it is something natural about it. Whether it hurts or not, you will not know till you try and curiosity kills the cat right?
No, because sex before marriage is illegal. <-- this is true, it is on the bible, so, make a girlfriend or boyfriend that is okay to her/him to do sex after marriage..
if you don't want to commit mistake from your mouth, don't talk
Actually the bible states that you need to be in a relationship with someone if I can recall correctly, and it does not specify what that relationship must be. If I meet a girl in a bar and become friends with her that could also be classed as a relationship. Putting religious and technical issues aside, however, I do feel that you should do it if it feels right. To my knowledge, sex before marriage is not illegal in any country, at least not in the Western world. So if two people who like it each want to have sex before getting married and do so in a responsible way then I say let them.
(Nike) Just do it
I think it's good to have sex before marriage because then there are no surprises. Think about it. You're going to be committing to each other for the rest of your lives, and you're still going to leave one big mystery between you two before going ahead and committing. I think it's a good idea just so that you have no secrets from each other and you know what you are getting yourself into before making such a big decision. Sex is a big part of relationships and marriage, and if something is wrong with it between you two, then it can be a big factor in any future divorce.
Sex is a part of life.
If the sex experiences between each other are not good enough,
there might be very difficult to be happy after marriage.
I think that if you both wanna do it, and you are 100% sure about it, then you should do it. No religion, or customs or parents can tell you how to live your life. Just make sure they don't find out!
Pablo Picasso said:
"Sex without being married is as boring as to eat an Hotdog.
It depends if you are having sex to procreate or to have fun? It also depends on both parties religions and customs, if you both want to have sex then you should'nt care about other peoples opinions only each others.
Isnt sex fun?
You should do it, indeed.
But use condoms for safety purposes !
What s the point of a girl friend if there is no sex ?
First go to doctor and do the HIV checkup
Second You talk with Your darling about pregnancy.
Third: Enjoy it.
I hate this shot about religion or whatever custom that tells u not to have sex. Common, we are animals. Our final reason to be here is to reproduce. Therefore we need sex and that's why sex gives us all such good emotions.
And can u really say know if u are together with your girlfriend and you are both horny? It's natural to have sex and its more torture if u don't have it then. There is also a reason why everyone in the end knows how sex works even if both of the couple are still virgins. Cause nature and your instinct tells you how to do it.
Go for it
all the best, jjj
Where and when did Budda or Jesus say: "Sex is not good for health" ?