Hi. I used to go out with this girl that I really loved but it was a long distance relationship and we never got to see each other. After a while, I got really jealous so our coversations were always fights. The love completly died and we broke up.
Now, almost a year later, the love is back and it it ten times stronger. I feel like I want her by me all the time and I miss her like crazy. I sent her a letter telling her this. We've been friends for a while after and I've given her hints that I might still have feelings, but this may strike her oddly.
What do you think it is? Love, Lust, or Obsession? And what should I do?
Since you had a long distance relationship with her for some time, you would remember how you felt at the time. When you certainly were in love with her. Because if it was only just at that time, it would have ended the moment she moved away and you would have gone hunting for other outlets for your lust.
Is that the feeling you have now as well? Because if it is the same then it is that same love that you are feeling.
You would know best if it is an obsession. What have been your thoughts on her during the break up period? Were you thinking of her constantly and not able to think of any other girl? Or did you move on from her and have other relationships? Because if you did move on then it cannot be said that you have an obsession.
Love can rekindle after a dormant period just like it is happening to you. Lust will not last such a period and obsession will not tolerate such a period without you doing something drastic.
So evaluate yourself and you can decide if it is love/lust/obsession.
But if you are thinking of getting back to her, you should keep in mind her position on your past relationship. Maybe she has completely moved on from you as a boyfriend and is just willing to be a friend if you want it as well. If that is her choice then you should not force her. Respect her choice. That way you will have a good friend and you can always get another girldfriend; maybe second best but still the next best thing.
Best of luck.
Hmm, well you have to be COMPLETLY sure that if there is a possibility to get her back, you are able to handle that she probaly had another relationship while you've not seen her.
This is really important, otherwise it will never be the same as it was before.
As long as we have memories, yesterday remains
As long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits,
As long as we have friendship ....
each day is never a waste....
Some one once said that....
Friends are like stars,
You cant always see them
but you know they are there.
be happy on this friendship day..
I think this may be a case of a little bit of all three really....
-The long distance relationship caused you to get a little obsessive because you feared you'd lose her because of the distance between you
-Seeing her and talking to her obviously was lust to start with as you couldn't meet much or anything so you didn't REALLy know her properly
- talking to her more and more has turned the lust into love and now you really do love her
After a year of not being together you realise you do love her a lot and it's taken that time for you to see that the obsession in conversations was only you being scared that you were going to lose this girl and maybe you were a little insecure about your relationship and this was your way of expressing it because you just liked her so much at the time that you wanted her just to be yours and if she met others they'd take her away from you as the relationship was long distance. It's nice to see you still like this girl after so long but i should say if this has come after her telling you she's met a nice guy or something then it could just be jealousy you're experiencing. I hope it goes well in the future. x
i'd say it's an obsession. it's hard to love without really spending time together.