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How to let him go?





the_mariska
We've been together for almost a year. From the very begining he has warned me, that he considered becoming a priest, so I shouldn't get used to him that much. But how could I help falling in love? We've been almost a perfect couple and I know he loves me a lot. We have never had a quarrel or any kind of 'silent days'. But we have never talked about the future. We both were thinking "it's gonna be somehow". And I knew that there's still the possibility that he'd leave me.

Today, we had a conversation, but it seemed almost like a farewell. I asked him why he looked and sounded so sad, and heard "And how could I be happy on a day like that?" He didn't tell me anything more, though I know he wanted. I wanted to solace him, but heard "I will do somehow, I'm afraid more on how you will stand it.". I knew there always was such possibility, but never really believed it would turn true. Now, although it's a very hard dilemma for him, it seems that he would like to go to the seminary.

I know that the most of you would tell me to fight for him, but I won't. I love him, and that's why I will never force him to do anything against himself. The problem is how to let him go, how to accept his decision no matter what he will decide? Question Sad Today, it was me who tried to cheer him up, but only when I came back home, I immediately started crying. I still hope that he won't be able to leave me, just as he wasn't able today.

But what if not? Sad
HoboPelican
I can't think of any thing that is so awful and wonderful at the same time as love. I feel for ya, my friend. I understand your not wanting to fight for him and let him freely chose, but that sort of sets your course for you. Best thing I can think of is to tell him how ya feel (I know you did that already) and say you think you should break it off now... Easier for you both in the long run and it also gives him a chance to be without you before he commits. It just might change his mind.

Whatever you do, and this sounds corny, at least you had the time you did. Crying or Very sad
Devang
the_mariska wrote:
I still hope that he won't be able to leave me, just as he wasn't able today.

But what if not? Sad


If your love is true and he has the same love flowing in his heart for you, be sure he will come back to you anytime. You are doing the right thing by giving him the space to move ahead in is own thoughts. Just be with him in whatever he does, as you love him. Love is not to force and believe me, even though you get him by force, you won't cherish him as much as you get him with love. So just make him feel free from you. He will come back.
Nikkori
Yes. "If you love him, you have to set him free." -- a phrase I commonly heard. I think he founds it difficult to chose also: To love God or to love Someone.... Difficult..
Jesus said as far as i can remember: "THose who love their mother, father or other love ones more than me are not worthy"...
the_mariska
Thanks for your answers.

Well, we parted with each other. No, we weren't angry, we have never been, but he only told me that he chose his way. To go to the seminary. We both were crying, but I know he's not going to change his mind. Wish him a lot of good luck. It was the most wonderful year in my life, thanks a lot.

Nikkori - I don't think we should interpret this verse that way, as we could love God and another person both. But I could see that he is fascinated with the love of God and that becoming a priest was something he had always wanted. He had dobuts only because of me, and I think that it will be much better for him.

I worry only about myself, how will I go through it. I wanted to take his picture off my desk.. but I started crying immediately. I hope to start a new life. I hope not to get depressed, not to start smoking and drinking a lot again. I hope to find a place for myself. Heh, I only keep complaining all the time.

[I've just noticed that I wrote this post in horrible English. Well, it's just because of nerves. I don't even have the energy to correct this Razz]
HoboPelican
the_mariska wrote:

I worry only about myself, how will I go through it. I wanted to take his picture off my desk.. but I started crying immediately. I hope to start a new life. I hope not to get depressed, not to start smoking and drinking a lot again. I hope to find a place for myself. Heh, I only keep complaining all the time.

[I've just noticed that I wrote this post in horrible English. Well, it's just because of nerves. I don't even have the energy to correct this Razz]


Hey, We can't give a real shoulder for you, but you know you've got people here to talk to anytime you need it. We care, sis.
turbohead
the_mariska wrote:
I know that the most of you would tell me to fight for him, but I won't. I love him, and that's why I will never force him to do anything against himself. The problem is how to let him go, how to accept his decision no matter what he will decide? Question Sad Today, it was me who tried to cheer him up, but only when I came back home, I immediately started crying. I still hope that he won't be able to leave me, just as he wasn't able today.


You love him, he loves you, just give him his own space, and....
time will tell
Best wishes to both of you~
Very Happy
picsite
I almost feel like im in the same situation...that if I love her soo much that I have to let her free Sad
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