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Tips, Please






What should I do?
End communication
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Remain JUST friends
50%
 50%  [ 1 ]
Make a move (Please state how)
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Tell her your feelings, and make a move
50%
 50%  [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 2

Mr Smith
Howdy...

I was talking to one of my friends, and he has this girl that likes him, so he adds her into a msn conversation. This girl the tells another girl about me. This "other girl" add me, and we talk...

Its been two days only, and the way that she talks, acts, and reacts to my jokes are great. I have a picture of her, and she is gorgeous, but the only problem...

cons:
a: She's in america (I'm in New Zealand)
b: She's got a boyfriend - although she has just found out he's cheating on her...

pros:
a: VERY similar interests
b: she's been sunburnt like me, blisters forming on shoulders (this is very uncommon (one in 10,000 get this after normal sun burn).
c: She's in love with me also
d: I am very interested in her, as she is a great person to talk to, and knows allot about helping others.

I already told her I have feelings for her, but it could sound like I only like her looks (she's REALLY gorgeous).

What should I do?

Thanks a million...

She has seen a picture of me, she is still impressed.
wumingsden
Firstly I would say chat via webcam.
You'd be extremely suprised if "she" turns out to be a 13 yr old girl or 50 yr old man.

Next I'd say get to know each other more, if "she" really is who you think they are. Another good communication tool is the phone, although it isn't free. Limit your time as I don't want to encourage anyone into bankruptcy Wink

If you are still talking after a few months then it'll then sound promising. Next time you/she goes on holiday meet the other person instead rather than go on a repeat destination. You may even think about going on the same holiday at the same time - it'll take some time/communication skills but it'll be possible. This is when you can see whether your a match made in the net (I mean heaven). if you are then good luck, if you aren't remember that its better to meet a person in reality rather than on the net.

If you still like each other (I recommend a holiday of 10 days with a grace period of 1 week) then make plans for the future. Decide whether you are both committed and if you are then one of you has to be more dedicated than the other. It will be just about impossible to have a relationship when your on two separate continents.
Mr Smith
Thanks dude...

I don't have a webcam, but I will ask her if she has one.

Wish smithy luck :$
wumingsden
Mr Smith wrote:
Thanks dude...

I don't have a webcam, but I will ask her if she has one.

Wish smithy luck :$


You won't need it, I doubt she's a "13 yr old girl or 50 yr old man". I just added that for great effect Cool
HoboPelican
wumingsden gave the best advice possible. Go slow.

If it was me, considering the distance, I think I personally would just cultivate a friendship and really just forget about it going anywhere. You can always change your mind it later on down the line things start changing. And if nothing changes, you might just a great friend to chat with.

Doesn't Yahoo chat have a free voice option? Free sign up also.


Good luck. Wink
rightclickscott
If it's anything I've learned, it's that long distance relationships don't work. If she's known to cheat on her boyfriend, she might do the same with you, and from experience, I can tell you that you may not be number one on her list. However, I don't know anything about her personally aside from what you've told me, so I can't really judge her.
wumingsden
rightclickscott wrote:
If it's anything I've learned, it's that long distance relationships don't work. If she's known to cheat on her boyfriend, she might do the same with you, and from experience, I can tell you that you may not be number one on her list. However, I don't know anything about her personally aside from what you've told me, so I can't really judge her.



Quote:
he's cheating on her...
rightclickscott
Whoops, read it wrong, thanks, Wumingsden.
wumingsden
rightclickscott wrote:
Whoops, read it wrong, thanks, Wumingsden.


your welcome
angelussum
Long distance relationships are definitely hard. And if you like her looks, it's going to be equally hard having a girlfriend who is thousands of miles away from you...

Like suggested, getting a webcam to talk to her might not be a bad idea - it's the closest you'll probably get to actually physically talking to her. They are pretty affordable and with the right lighting and settings, even the cheaper ones work out nicely.

Take things slow - there is no need to rush. Also giving her some space to figure out the relationship she has with her current boyfriend might not be a bad idea.
Mr Smith
Thanks guys :)

and gals
N!Ce
I would also recommend to take things slow. Try to find out if she really is the person you think she is. Voice-com (TeamSpeak, Skype etc.) and Webcam are indeed good ideas.

Most important online is to stay real and ask her (maybe not directly) to do so aswell. If you ever plan to see her in rl, don't pretend things that aren't true. The more you stay real, the less the chances of disappointments afterwards (they can be very big, if there was lack of honesty).

And don't get demotivated by the distance. I know several examples of partners who met online, with a long distance between them. Some of them are even married now :o

If there is real love, distance is never an insurmountable problem.

Good Luck! =)
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