FRIHOST FORUMS SEARCH FAQ TOS BLOGS COMPETITIONS
You are invited to Log in or Register a free Frihost Account!


Miserable Situation





Jumpy
Hey, i'm a sophomore in highschool and after a great 4 months of going out with my gorgeous girlfriend, she gets notified that she has to move out of the state. I tried everything to convince her parents that it would break both of our hearts if she moved, but they said it was a family issue.
I've been told that long distant relationships wouldn't work, but i can't simply break up with someone i love dearly just because we'll be seperated temporarily. What should i do in this matter?
cybernie
the problem seemed to be tough... being in a situation like that isn't simple... but if you both love each other and feel the same way for each other, i don't distance would be a hindrance... rather it would make the heart and love grow. real love is not measured by distance separating you but by the time and endurance of missing someone u hold dear in your life.

maybe u can see each other occassionally or talk over phone and set for a date.
xeszline
To experiences..

I'd say.. it would be possible having long-distance relationship if both of you have the commitment not to see any other male or female, and to keep your/herself closed from other opposite sex.
But this could only happen so long time ago.

Now..
Even if the couple really love each other, they will finally meet other people and forget us. There's a TV channel in my country that shows the couples of long-distance relationship having affair. It's so sad.

But it's worth trying if you really love her. No case is identical to others. Who knows you'll make a history? Who knows you'll make a special relationship that will last even if you're not in the same place?

Good luck!
alkady
Well this is a harsh situation, Long Distance Relations arent easy. So your options are very limited. I know this seems a bit improper, But I suggest you savour the time that is left between you two before she leaves. Wink It may be years before you two can be with each other if that even happens.
Devang
It depends on how long you both are gonna get separated. How long? If you truly love her on psychological level, then the distance won't bother at all.. if it's on physiological level, then after sometime you would crave for her touch, and due to her absence which may make you search for someone else...

this is my point of view.. you decide, how much you "love" her..

and how abt her? wht are her reactions for this separation?
cybernie
as the song says, love will find a way... never mind if you're far away from each other... if you both feel the same way, you'll fight for it... not thinking of the distance...
PeterWu
Hey Jumpy

I really hate to be the downer on this one, but I think this is the most prudent approach to your problem: let her go and don't look back.

This is not a harsh statement for two reasons, that is your youth and the short term status of the relationship.

You're both in high school. I went through high school too, actually only last year I was a senior. Anyways, face it, come end of freshman year in college about 50% of high school relationships are over. That's a rough estimate, but its certainly not a bad one. My dorm had about 8 guys in it, 6 of who had girlfriends. (not including me...no bias in this one) Afterwards, only 2 had kept their relationships going and 1 of the 2 was actually cheating on his girlfriend with another girl at school.

Also, you've both been going out for a very short time. Three months you mentioned? Though you say you love her dearly, I say the flame burns brightest before it goes out. Too much love too fast is not an indication for a long term relationship. Adding in the general volatitily of high school relationships, I think your chances at hodlng onto the girl even if she stayed at home are only 50%.

After some arithmetic, .5 x .5 = .25 chance that you will hold onto her even if she doesn't move away. (The first .5 is for college, the second is for the short term relationship status) The fact that she is moving away makes the probability even smaller. As an estimate, lets say only one fourth of long term relationships work. That's .5x.5x.25 = .0625 or 6.25% that your relationship can whether the move!

Think about it. Would you take a bet like this. I'll give you 10,000 dollars if you win, but if you lose you will have to give me 10,000 and the chance of you winning is 6.25% ($10,000 is not a bad estimate for the time and resources you will need to dedicate to this girl if you choose to pursue the relationship) I think not. Please let her go.

But, if you and her both are the romantic type, putting love first at all cost and odds, heck go for it!
livilou
Being separated for a while might be a good thing. It will give you both the chance to make sure of your feelings. Keep in contact, talk, write, whatever. If you still feel this way in a few months, it will work.
Sadow
This sounds pretty awful to me. Crying or Very sad
But I agree with livilou. Give it some time and I suggest you visit her after some time (if this is possible).
I hope this will work out for you.
mike_phi
I have had alllot of travels in my life and many long distance relationships.
First of all it could work it should work, as the two of you have love for each other.

However along with strong feelings also comes strong desire for the person you are missing and strong frustations because you are not together and this could lead to a few phone calls going wrong then there is strong actions that take place and not always positive, the only way it will work is if the relationship is mature and this does not come with ae but with good understanding and communications then you are on your way to success.

but what I would say is important is that you see each other at least once every few months just to keep your minds strong so that the other person dose not turn into a email or a phone call but your mind realises that it is actually a real person on the other side, when it comes to relationships there is allot of mind power involved and the inputs are diffrent firstly different perople have different opinions secondly guys and girls view and prioritize things guite differently in their minds and the both of you will have to be sensitive and take care of each others needs, this excersis could work and would lead to a very powerfull relationship if you are both prepared to work and the key word is work because thats what it will take and both have to have mutual faith in each other don suspect each other of cheating because assumptions and accusations can shake the stability just give each other the benefit of the doubt and believe in your love for each other and this will carry you through if the love is true and the minds are mature.

good luck and cheers

mic
Garg
Hey Jumpy !

I'm sorry, but i have to agree with Peter Wu on this...

Both go your way now, because you never know, if you stay in touch, you might get back together in 7-8 years.

However, if you do try it, it will probably end badly and she won't (or you won't) want to hear from her again.

Plus you're young, you'll probably find someone else in no time!

As we say in french, One lost, ten found

anyway My 2 cents
m00tmuffin
That really sucks...but long distance relationships can work--if you work at them enough, that is! But being so young, it might be harder...you two are going to change a lot during your high school years and being apart as a teen will probably make you feel pretty lonely at times, and there's always going to be temptation on either side as well. But if you really two want to work at it, you can surely make anything happen. Smile
Related topics
12 classics comprehending :
Bin Laden offers truce...
Monday 23rd of Jan - The Most Miserable Day of The Year.
"Stop Sending Aid to Africa!" says Kenyan economic
Are you with the one you truly love?
Love or Money ???
Do looks matter?
My Life Changing Love...
Is life worth it?
Jobs in New Zealand
What is Philosophy to you?
Do you believe in "LOVE at first SIGHT"?
Stimulus Package & the Anti-Stimulus Crowd
Do you have any faith that there is a "soul"
Reply to topic    Frihost Forum Index -> Lifestyle and News -> Relationships

FRIHOST HOME | FAQ | TOS | ABOUT US | CONTACT US | SITE MAP
© 2005-2011 Frihost, forums powered by phpBB.