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Seeding





UlrikeSE
The scenario i'm about to explain is quite a peculiar one. Me and my girlfriend are peculiar people. She is 13 years older then myself and we've dated for 3 years.

I'm not with her most of the year because of my job and location. In July, i'm visiting her for two weeks. Within those two weeks we'll make attempts at having a child. This is where the normality of the situation ends. I'm not really going to be the father.

I'll be the father biologically, but not the "father figure", atleast in any societally accepted manner. We decided that i'd give her a child, but my responsibility would only extend past my catalyst role.

She is personally wealthy, beyond financially as it would seem. Having an extremely large family in a general state-wide area around her. She independently supported herself through the years, along with many of those siblings. Shes a nurse, if this provides any clarity to her. She wants a child, children, and is more then able to support them in every manner. Her family is supportive of the idea, and her family is one of many assets to herself.

I am however, a man on a non-stopping march to see everything. I'm not in a part of my life to settle down to one place for any reason. This is why, under any other circumstances, I would not have any partner or even dream about having a child. But strangely, this is what will happen to the letter. A relationship formed on distance, so distance would never become the problem it has for others. Where a normal relationship couldn't survive my nature, this one has risen above my expectations.

I love her, and would never have anyone besides her. This is a fact like the sky is high. Given her position, and remarkable readiness and ability, she wants to have my child. A child raised by the best woman i've ever known, and among a large family willing to embrace and raise a child. This is a situation unlikely to ever occur in it's simple brillance. The only negative is my abscence, an idea accepted on all sides but one. The child's.

My absence will only be for the warm days of spring and summer, but it only takes a few seconds to hate someone for not being there. What am I know about my absence's affect on my blood? Will it do unknown harms that even my girlfriend and I can't calculate? These are just a few questions I constantly think about. All the details are impossible to jot down, so feel free to ask for information where you think it's needed. I post for feedback, but my ways are set.
AftershockVibe
I think you need to ask yourself how a person would feel if they had grown up in that child's situation.

Being thought of as someone who so worthless to be undeserving of a fathers time is a horrible situation to be in. I know if I was that child I would hate you with a passion.
Bondings
Don't you think you would eventually settle down with her in the case of a child? I always heard that becoming a parent changes a lot of desires/passions radically.

Also as AftershockVibe said, it seems rather weird to grow up with a father who is almost never there. I suppose it's better to either have a father (all the time) or don't have one at all.
HoboPelican
Weird, but I don't see any problems, actually. At least none forced by the situation. I don't think not having a father is that big a deal. It's less traditional, but does that HAVE to be a bad thing? Your GF will love the child, right? She has family around it sounds like so there will male figures around. Biggest danger in my mind is that it will be a lot of work for your GF, but lots of people do it.
UlrikeSE
I don't doubt my gf's true happiness is with my soon-to-be child. Her "clock" is ticking I should say, and this is a sad or good thing depending on the woman. I said before she had a large family, I did not kid. She has about fours sisters and the same amount of brothers. It's a bitter/sad feeling that rings deep among women "without", to not only see all the women around you getting married and raising children, but all sisters you grew up with.

I want a child for different reasons.

I wake up everyday feeling like a God. You can laugh, but if anything feels as good as this feels, it must be godly. I eat good food, I have a good job, and there are no shadows in my life that I can't open a curtain on. It's not a feeling thats dependent on anything, for I could lose all and I would still feel good.

So, in my selfishness and ego, I want to create something of my ownself...but not myself...to pass this great thing onto. I want the child of my blood to pass everything to, so that I never really die.

Traveling during the summers is the stage of life i'm in at the moment, and it could very well change, but I know myself too well. The feeling of producing an "hier" is equally as strong, but I recognize the conflict already. Go down one path and i'll eventually resent the choice I took, and always long for the one I didn't. If I had a child and settled down I would resent everything around me, and I don't want that, to take that resentment out on what is very much my own blood. And, if I continued to travel, I know that I would never try for a child again, and that it would be far to late for the gf I love.

So I chose the happy medium, the selfish choice, but i'm willing to pay the consequences of my actions. I made it clear what she was getting into, having a child with me and she accepted. We are both ready to take the full load of our choices, whatever that be.
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